move offensive quotes per board@

[bsdgames-darwin.git] / fortune / datfiles / fortunes2

diff --git a/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2 b/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2
index c8a50ca286d6686d5ce620ba62804e27f6a3d70f..aa4df19cf834b14ad23ee65664447dd309132579 100644 (file)
--- a/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2
+++ b/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2
@@ -101,10 +101,10 @@ either.  If you need some help, give us a call.
                  _--~~~#####// '  ` \\#####~~~--_
                -~##########// (    ) \\##########~-_
               -############//  |\^^/|  \\############-
                  _--~~~#####// '  ` \\#####~~~--_
                -~##########// (    ) \\##########~-_
               -############//  |\^^/|  \\############-

-            _~############//   (O||O)   \\############~_ 
-           ~#############((     \\//     ))#############~  
+            _~############//   (O||O)   \\############~_
+           ~#############((     \\//     ))#############~

           -###############\\    (oo)    //###############-
           -###############\\    (oo)    //###############-

-         -#################\\  / `' \  //#################- 
+         -#################\\  / `' \  //#################-

         -###################\\/  ()  \//###################-
        _#/|##########/\######(  (())  )######/\##########|\#_
        |/ |#/\#/\#/\/  \#/\##|  \()/  |##/\#/  \/\#/\#/\#| \|
         -###################\\/  ()  \//###################-
        _#/|##########/\######(  (())  )######/\##########|\#_
        |/ |#/\#/\#/\/  \#/\##|  \()/  |##/\#/  \/\#/\#/\#| \|


@@ -145,7 +145,7 @@ been inspected.  (You have 15 minutes.)
 HISTORY
        Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present
 day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political,
 HISTORY
        Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present
 day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political,

-economic, religious and philisophical impact upon Europe, Asia, America, and
+economic, religious and philosophical impact upon Europe, Asia, America, and

 Africa.  Be brief, concise, and specific.
 
 BIOLOGY
 Africa.  Be brief, concise, and specific.
 
 BIOLOGY


@@ -296,10 +296,10 @@ steel industries.
 
 And everyone thinks computers are impersonal
 cold diskdrives hardware monitors
 
 And everyone thinks computers are impersonal
 cold diskdrives hardware monitors

-user-hostile software 
+user-hostile software

 
 

-of course they're only bits and bytes 
-and characters and strings 
+of course they're only bits and bytes
+and characters and strings

 and files
 
 just some old textfiles from my old boyfriend
 and files
 
 just some old textfiles from my old boyfriend


@@ -346,23 +346,23 @@ Beware the infiniteloop
 %
                Safety Tips for the Post-Nuclear Existence
 1.     Never use an elevator in a building that has been hit by a
 %
                Safety Tips for the Post-Nuclear Existence
 1.     Never use an elevator in a building that has been hit by a

-               nuclear bomb, use the stairs.
+               nuclear bomb; use the stairs.

 2.     When you're flying through the air, remember to roll
                when you hit the ground.
 3.     If you're on fire, avoid gasoline and other flammable materials.
 4.     Don't attempt communication with dead people; it will only lead
                to psychological problems.
 2.     When you're flying through the air, remember to roll
                when you hit the ground.
 3.     If you're on fire, avoid gasoline and other flammable materials.
 4.     Don't attempt communication with dead people; it will only lead
                to psychological problems.

-5.     Food will be scarce, you will have to scavenge.   Learn to recognize
+5.     Food will be scarce, you will have to scavenge.  Learn to recognize

                foods that will be available after the bomb: mashed potatoes,
                shredded wheat, tossed salad, ground beef, etc.
                foods that will be available after the bomb: mashed potatoes,
                shredded wheat, tossed salad, ground beef, etc.

-6.     Put your hand over your mouth when you sneeze, internal organs
+6.     Put your hand over your mouth when you sneeze:  internal organs

                will be scarce in the post-nuclear age.
                will be scarce in the post-nuclear age.

-7.     Try to be neat, fall only in designated piles.
-8.     Drive carefully in "Heavy Fallout" areas, people could be
+7.     Try to be neat.  Fall only in designated piles.
+8.     Drive carefully in "Heavy Fallout" areas -- people could be

                staggering illegally.
                staggering illegally.

-9.     Nutritionally, hundred dollar bills are equal to one's, but more
-               sanitary due to limited circulation.
-10.    Accumulate mannequins now, spare parts will be in short
+9.     Nutritionally, hundred dollar bills are equal to ones, but are
+               more sanitary due to limited circulation.
+10.    Accumulate mannequins now.  Spare parts will be in short

                supply on D-Day.
 %
                The Guy on the Right Doesn't Stand a Chance
                supply on D-Day.
 %
                The Guy on the Right Doesn't Stand a Chance


@@ -372,15 +372,15 @@ Uzi submachine gun concealed in his attache case.  Also in the case are four
 fully loaded, 32-round clips of 125-grain 9mm ammunition.  The owner of the
 Uzi is going to get more tactical firepower delivered -- and delivered on
 target -- in less time, and with less effort.  All for $795. It's inevitable.
 fully loaded, 32-round clips of 125-grain 9mm ammunition.  The owner of the
 Uzi is going to get more tactical firepower delivered -- and delivered on
 target -- in less time, and with less effort.  All for $795. It's inevitable.

-If you're going up against some guy with an Osborne 1 -- or any personal 
+If you're going up against some guy with an Osborne 1 -- or any personal

 computer -- he's the one who's in trouble.  One round from an Uzi can zip
 through ten inches of solid pine wood, so you can imagine what it will do
 computer -- he's the one who's in trouble.  One round from an Uzi can zip
 through ten inches of solid pine wood, so you can imagine what it will do

-to structural foam acrylic and sheet aluminum.  In fact, detachable magazines 
-for the Uzi are available in 25-, 32-, and 40-round capacities, so you can 
+to structural foam acrylic and sheet aluminum.  In fact, detachable magazines
+for the Uzi are available in 25-, 32-, and 40-round capacities, so you can

 take out an entire office full of Apple II or IBM Personal Computers tied
 into Ethernet or other local-area networks.  What about the new 16-bit
 take out an entire office full of Apple II or IBM Personal Computers tied
 into Ethernet or other local-area networks.  What about the new 16-bit

-computers, like the Lisa and Fortune?  Even with the Winchester backup, 
-they're no match for the Uzi.  One quick burst and they'll find out what 
+computers, like the Lisa and Fortune?  Even with the Winchester backup,
+they're no match for the Uzi.  One quick burst and they'll find out what

 Unix means.  Make your commanding officer proud.  Get an Uzi -- and come home
 a winner in the fight for office automatic weapons.
                -- "InfoWorld", June, 1984
 Unix means.  Make your commanding officer proud.  Get an Uzi -- and come home
 a winner in the fight for office automatic weapons.
                -- "InfoWorld", June, 1984


@@ -519,9 +519,10 @@ Liza Minnelli.
 %
        ... with liberty and justice for all who can afford it.
 %
 %
        ... with liberty and justice for all who can afford it.
 %

-       12 + 144 + 20 + 3(4)                  2
+                          ___
+       12 + 144 + 20 + 3\/ 4                 2

        ----------------------  +  5(11)  =  9  +  0
        ----------------------  +  5(11)  =  9  +  0

-                 7
+                 7

 
 A dozen, a gross and a score,
 Plus three times the square root of four,
 
 A dozen, a gross and a score,
 Plus three times the square root of four,


@@ -583,15 +584,15 @@ the outsider, "because I want you to be happy."
        Drescher took the paper that was offered him and put it into the
 toaster -- "I wish the toaster to be happy too".
 %
        Drescher took the paper that was offered him and put it into the
 toaster -- "I wish the toaster to be happy too".
 %

-       A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing about 
+       A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing about

 whose profession was the oldest.  In the course of their arguments, they
 got all the way back to the Garden of Eden, whereupon the doctor said, "The
 medical profession is clearly the oldest, because Eve was made from Adam's
 rib, as the story goes, and that was a simply incredible surgical feat."
 whose profession was the oldest.  In the course of their arguments, they
 got all the way back to the Garden of Eden, whereupon the doctor said, "The
 medical profession is clearly the oldest, because Eve was made from Adam's
 rib, as the story goes, and that was a simply incredible surgical feat."

-       The architect did not agree.  He said, "But if you look at the Garden 
-itself, in the beginning there was chaos and void, and out of that the Garden 
+       The architect did not agree.  He said, "But if you look at the Garden
+itself, in the beginning there was chaos and void, and out of that the Garden

 and the world were created.  So God must have been an architect."
 and the world were created.  So God must have been an architect."

-       The computer scientist, who'd listened carefully to all of this, then 
+       The computer scientist, who'd listened carefully to all of this, then

 commented, "Yes, but where do you think the chaos came from?"
 %
        A farmer decides that his three sows should be bred, and contacts a
 commented, "Yes, but where do you think the chaos came from?"
 %
        A farmer decides that his three sows should be bred, and contacts a


@@ -646,19 +647,19 @@ hand.  I held firmly with my left hand and slid my right hand up the body of
 the snake.  When I reached the head of the snake I flicked my right thumb down
 to break the snake's spine... did you ever goose a tiger?"
 %
 the snake.  When I reached the head of the snake I flicked my right thumb down
 to break the snake's spine... did you ever goose a tiger?"
 %

-       A guy returns from a long trip to Europe, having left his beloved 
-dog in his brother's care.  The minute he's cleared customs, he calls up his 
+       A guy returns from a long trip to Europe, having left his beloved
+dog in his brother's care.  The minute he's cleared customs, he calls up his

 brother and inquires after his pet.
        "Your dog's dead," replies his brother bluntly.
 brother and inquires after his pet.
        "Your dog's dead," replies his brother bluntly.

-       The guy is devastated.  "You know how much that dog meant to me," 
-he moaned into the phone.  "Couldn't you at least have thought of a nicer way 
-of breaking the news?  Couldn't you have said, `Well, you know, the dog got 
-outside one day, and was crossing the street, and a car was speeding around a 
+       The guy is devastated.  "You know how much that dog meant to me,"
+he moaned into the phone.  "Couldn't you at least have thought of a nicer way
+of breaking the news?  Couldn't you have said, `Well, you know, the dog got
+outside one day, and was crossing the street, and a car was speeding around a

 corner...' or something...?  Why are you always so thoughtless?"
        "Look, I'm sorry," said his brother, "I guess I just didn't think."
        "Okay, okay, let's just put it behind us.  How are you anyway?
 How's Mom?"
 corner...' or something...?  Why are you always so thoughtless?"
        "Look, I'm sorry," said his brother, "I guess I just didn't think."
        "Okay, okay, let's just put it behind us.  How are you anyway?
 How's Mom?"

-       His brother is silent a moment.  "Uh," he stammers, "uh... Mom got 
+       His brother is silent a moment.  "Uh," he stammers, "uh... Mom got

 outside one day..."
 %
        A guy walks into a pub and asks: "Does anyone here own a Doberman?
 outside one day..."
 %
        A guy walks into a pub and asks: "Does anyone here own a Doberman?


@@ -720,7 +721,7 @@ German, can knit and can curse in Latin.
 told, "that one is 150,000."
        "Why, what can it do?" he asks.
        "Well," says the shopkeeper, "to tell you the truth, he doesn't
 told, "that one is 150,000."
        "Why, what can it do?" he asks.
        "Well," says the shopkeeper, "to tell you the truth, he doesn't

-do anything, but the other birds call him Mr. Secretary."  
+do anything, but the other birds call him Mr. Secretary."

                -- being told in Poland, 1987
 %
        A man from AI walked across the mountains to SAIL to see the Master,
                -- being told in Poland, 1987
 %
        A man from AI walked across the mountains to SAIL to see the Master,


@@ -787,7 +788,7 @@ to add.  This will take at least two weeks," he finally said.
        "Even that is too much to expect," insisted the manager, "I will be
 satisfied if you simply tell me when the program is complete."
        The programmer agreed to this.
        "Even that is too much to expect," insisted the manager, "I will be
 satisfied if you simply tell me when the program is complete."
        The programmer agreed to this.

-       Several years slated, the manager retired.  On the way to his
+       Several years later, the manager retired.  On the way to his

 retirement lunch, he discovered the programmer asleep at his terminal.
 He had been programming all night.
                -- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
 retirement lunch, he discovered the programmer asleep at his terminal.
 He had been programming all night.
                -- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"


@@ -818,7 +819,7 @@ take it I assign ten programmers to it?"
 completed," he said.
                -- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
 %
 completed," he said.
                -- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
 %

-       A manger went to his programmers and told them: "As regards to your
+       A manager went to his programmers and told them: "As regards to your

 work hours: you are going to have to come in at nine in the morning and leave
 at five in the afternoon."  At this, all of them became angry and several
 resigned on the spot.
 work hours: you are going to have to come in at nine in the morning and leave
 at five in the afternoon."  At this, all of them became angry and several
 resigned on the spot.


@@ -851,19 +852,7 @@ said the master.
        "It is even in a video game," said the master.
        "And is the Tao in the DOS for a personal computer?"
        The master coughed and shifted his position slightly.  "The lesson
        "It is even in a video game," said the master.
        "And is the Tao in the DOS for a personal computer?"
        The master coughed and shifted his position slightly.  "The lesson

-is over for today.", he said.
-               -- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
-%
-       A master was explaining the nature of the Tao to one of his novices,
-"The Tao is embodied in all software -- regardless of how insignificant,"
-said the master.
-       "Is the Tao in a hand-held calculator?" asked the novice.
-       "It is," came the reply.
-       "Is the Tao in a video game?" continued the novice.
-       "It is even in a video game," said the master.
-       "And is the Tao in the DOS for a personal computer?"
-       The master coughed and shifted his position slightly.  "The lesson is
-over for today," he said.
+is over for today," he said.

                -- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
 %
        A MODERN FABLE
                -- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
 %
        A MODERN FABLE


@@ -899,7 +888,7 @@ nice," he replied, but don't you think it would be better if..."
 %
        A novel approach is to remove all power from the system, which
 removes most system overhead so that resources can be fully devoted to
 %
        A novel approach is to remove all power from the system, which
 removes most system overhead so that resources can be fully devoted to

-doing nothing.  Benchmarks on  this technique are promising; tremendous
+doing nothing.  Benchmarks on this technique are promising; tremendous

 amounts of nothing can be produced in this manner.  Certain hardware
 limitations can limit the speed of this method, especially in the
 larger systems which require a more involved & less efficient
 amounts of nothing can be produced in this manner.  Certain hardware
 limitations can limit the speed of this method, especially in the
 larger systems which require a more involved & less efficient


@@ -1059,7 +1048,7 @@ only to receive the following notice:  "We must report that during the handling
 of your twelve 35mm Kodachrome slide orders, the films were involved in an
 unusual laboratory experience."  The use of the passive is a particularly nice
 touch, don't you think?  Nobody did anything to the films; they just had a bad
 of your twelve 35mm Kodachrome slide orders, the films were involved in an
 unusual laboratory experience."  The use of the passive is a particularly nice
 touch, don't you think?  Nobody did anything to the films; they just had a bad

-experience.  Of course our reader can always go back to Tibet and take his 
+experience.  Of course our reader can always go back to Tibet and take his

 pictures all over again, using the twelve replacement rolls Kodak so generously
 sent him.
                -- Quarterly Review of Doublespeak (NCTE)
 pictures all over again, using the twelve replacement rolls Kodak so generously
 sent him.
                -- Quarterly Review of Doublespeak (NCTE)


@@ -1126,15 +1115,15 @@ this marriage and I would want to be this happy again."
        The wife asked, "Would you give your new wife my car?"
        "Yes," he replied.  "That's a good car and it runs well."
        "Well, would you live in this house?"
        The wife asked, "Would you give your new wife my car?"
        "Yes," he replied.  "That's a good car and it runs well."
        "Well, would you live in this house?"

-       "Yes, it is a lovely house and you have decorated it beautifully. 
+       "Yes, it is a lovely house and you have decorated it beautifully.

 I've always loved it here."
        "Well, would you give her my golf clubs?"
        "No."
        "Why not?"
        "She's left handed."
 %
 I've always loved it here."
        "Well, would you give her my golf clubs?"
        "No."
        "Why not?"
        "She's left handed."
 %

-       A young honeymoon couple were touring southern Florida and happened 
-to stop at one of the rattlesnake farms along the road.  After seeing the 
+       A young honeymoon couple were touring southern Florida and happened
+to stop at one of the rattlesnake farms along the road.  After seeing the

 sights, they engaged in small talk with the man that handled the snakes.
 "Gosh!" exclaimed the new bride.  "You certainly have a dangerous job.
 Don't you ever get bitten by the snakes?"
 sights, they engaged in small talk with the man that handled the snakes.
 "Gosh!" exclaimed the new bride.  "You certainly have a dangerous job.
 Don't you ever get bitten by the snakes?"


@@ -1199,7 +1188,7 @@ realize the full significance of Pharoah's oxhide!"
                   Feghoot!"
 %
        After watching an extremely attractive maternity-ward patient
                   Feghoot!"
 %
        After watching an extremely attractive maternity-ward patient

-earnestly thumbing her way through a telephone directory for several 
+earnestly thumbing her way through a telephone directory for several

 minutes, a hospital orderly finally asked if he could be of some help.
        "No, thanks," smiled the young mother, "I'm just looking for a
 name for my baby."
 minutes, a hospital orderly finally asked if he could be of some help.
        "No, thanks," smiled the young mother, "I'm just looking for a
 name for my baby."


@@ -1249,10 +1238,10 @@ screams: "Anybody got a match?"
        knows he doesn't know what he's doing, so he does it carefully
 and with great restraint.
        As he designs the first work, frill after frill and
        knows he doesn't know what he's doing, so he does it carefully
 and with great restraint.
        As he designs the first work, frill after frill and

-       embellishment after embellishment occur to him.  These get
-stored away to be used "next time."  Sooner or later the first system
-is finished, and the architect, with firm confidence and a demonstrated
-mastery of that class of systems, is ready to build a second system.
+embellishment after embellishment occur to him.  These get stored away
+to be used "next time."  Sooner or later the first system is finished,
+and the architect, with firm confidence and a demonstrated mastery of
+that class of systems, is ready to build a second system.

        This second is the most dangerous system a man ever designs.
 When he does his third and later ones, his prior experiences will
 confirm each other as to the general characteristics of such systems,
        This second is the most dangerous system a man ever designs.
 When he does his third and later ones, his prior experiences will
 confirm each other as to the general characteristics of such systems,


@@ -1326,7 +1315,7 @@ and we offer you a chance to kill yourself with our ceremonial knife."
        The Englishman accepts the knife and yells, "God Save the Queen",
 while plunging the knife into his heart.
        The Frenchman removes the knife from the fallen body, and yells,
        The Englishman accepts the knife and yells, "God Save the Queen",
 while plunging the knife into his heart.
        The Frenchman removes the knife from the fallen body, and yells,

-"Vive la France", while plunging the knife into his heart.  
+"Vive la France", while plunging the knife into his heart.

        The American removes the knife from the fallen body, and yells,
 while stabbing himself all over his body, "Here's your lousy canoe!"
 %
        The American removes the knife from the fallen body, and yells,
 while stabbing himself all over his body, "Here's your lousy canoe!"
 %


@@ -1557,7 +1546,7 @@ CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES.
        Nov 9           Korean War Amputees
        Nov 15          VA Hospital Polio Patients
 %
        Nov 9           Korean War Amputees
        Nov 15          VA Hospital Polio Patients
 %

-       "Darling," he breathed, "after making love I doubt if I'll 
+       "Darling," he breathed, "after making love I doubt if I'll

 be able to get over you -- so would you mind answering the phone?"
 %
        "Darling," she whispered, "will you still love me after we are
 be able to get over you -- so would you mind answering the phone?"
 %
        "Darling," she whispered, "will you still love me after we are


@@ -1581,7 +1570,7 @@ white electric blanket?  I'm afraid to wash it in the machine.
 
 Thanks, Kathy.  (front desk, x17)
 
 
 Thanks, Kathy.  (front desk, x17)
 

-p.s.   Also, anyone ever used Noxema on friction burns?  
+p.s.   Also, anyone ever used Noxema on friction burns?

        Or is Vaseline better?
 %
        "Don't come back until you have him", the Tick-Tock Man said quietly,
        Or is Vaseline better?
 %
        "Don't come back until you have him", the Tick-Tock Man said quietly,


@@ -1622,13 +1611,13 @@ him arrested for carrying a congealed weapon.
 She's a women who conks to stupor.
        Upon reading a story about a man who throttled his mother-in-law, a
 man commented, "Sounds to me like a practical choker."
 She's a women who conks to stupor.
        Upon reading a story about a man who throttled his mother-in-law, a
 man commented, "Sounds to me like a practical choker."

-       It's not the inital skirt length, it's the upcreep.
+       It's not the initial skirt length, it's the upcreep.

        It's the theory of Jess Birnbaum, of Time magazine, that women with
 bad legs should stick to long skirts because they cover a multitude of shins.
 %
        It's the theory of Jess Birnbaum, of Time magazine, that women with
 bad legs should stick to long skirts because they cover a multitude of shins.
 %

-       During a grouse hunt in North Carolina two intrepid sportsmen were 
-blasting away at a clump of trees near a stone wall.  Suddenly a red-face 
-country squire popped his head over the wall and shouted, "Hey, you almost 
+       During a grouse hunt in North Carolina two intrepid sportsmen were
+blasting away at a clump of trees near a stone wall.  Suddenly a red-face
+country squire popped his head over the wall and shouted, "Hey, you almost

 hit my wife."
        "Did I?" cried one hunter, aghast.  "Terribly sorry.  Have a shot
 at mine, over there."
 hit my wife."
        "Did I?" cried one hunter, aghast.  "Terribly sorry.  Have a shot
 at mine, over there."


@@ -1639,7 +1628,7 @@ after their wedding, he presented the lady to a friend who said politely,
 "Congratulations, Herr d'Albert; you have rarely introduced me to so
 charming a wife."
 %
 "Congratulations, Herr d'Albert; you have rarely introduced me to so
 charming a wife."
 %

-       Everthing is farther away than it used to be.  It is even twice as
+       Everything is farther away than it used to be.  It is even twice as

 far to the corner and they have added a hill.  I have given up running for
 the bus; it leaves earlier than it used to.
        It seems to me they are making the stairs steeper than in the old
 far to the corner and they have added a hill.  I have given up running for
 the bus; it leaves earlier than it used to.
        It seems to me they are making the stairs steeper than in the old


@@ -1650,7 +1639,7 @@ speaks in such a low voice I can hardly hear them.
 and waist, that it is almost impossible to reach one's shoelaces.  And the
 sizes don't run the way they used to.  The 12's and 14's are so much smaller.
        Even people are changing.  They are so much younger than they used to
 and waist, that it is almost impossible to reach one's shoelaces.  And the
 sizes don't run the way they used to.  The 12's and 14's are so much smaller.
        Even people are changing.  They are so much younger than they used to

-be when I was their age.  On  the other hand people my age are so much older
+be when I was their age.  On the other hand people my age are so much older

 than I am.
        I ran into an old classmate the other day and she has aged so much
 that she didn't recognize me.
 than I am.
        I ran into an old classmate the other day and she has aged so much
 that she didn't recognize me.


@@ -1680,22 +1669,6 @@ message about facing challengehood tomorrow-wise.  I dozed off during this,
 but the import seems to be that dinosaurs don't have anything to do with
 energy policy and neither do you."
                -- P.J. O'Rourke, "Holidays in Hell"
 but the import seems to be that dinosaurs don't have anything to do with
 energy policy and neither do you."
                -- P.J. O'Rourke, "Holidays in Hell"

-%
-       For example, in Year 1 that useless letter 'c' would be dropped to be
-replased either by 'k' or 's', and likewise 'x' would no longer be part of the
-alphabet. The only kase in which 'c' would be retained would be the 'ch'
-formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform 'w' spelling,
-so that 'which' and 'one' would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might
-well abolish 'y' replasing it with 'i' and Iear 4 might fiks the 'g-j'
-anomali wonse and for all.
-       Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with
-Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so
-modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.  Bai
-Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez
-'c', 'y' and 'x' - bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez - tu
-riplais 'ch', 'sh', and 'th' rispektivli.
-       Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a
-lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

 %
        "Found it," the Mouse replied rather crossly:
 "of course you know what 'it' means."
 %
        "Found it," the Mouse replied rather crossly:
 "of course you know what 'it' means."


@@ -1737,9 +1710,9 @@ his honeymoon a chastened man.  He'd become aware of the will of the wisp.
 little pebble on the beach.  The marriage counselor told him, "If you wish to
 save your marriage, you'd better be a little boulder."
 %
 little pebble on the beach.  The marriage counselor told him, "If you wish to
 save your marriage, you'd better be a little boulder."
 %

-       Friends were surprised, indeed, when Frank and Jennifer broke their 
-engagement, but Frank had a ready explanation: "Would you marry someone who 
-was habitually unfaithful, who lied at every turn, who was selfish and lazy 
+       Friends were surprised, indeed, when Frank and Jennifer broke their
+engagement, but Frank had a ready explanation: "Would you marry someone who
+was habitually unfaithful, who lied at every turn, who was selfish and lazy

 and sarcastic?"
        "Of course not," said a sympathetic friend.
        "Well," retorted Frank, "neither would Jennifer."
 and sarcastic?"
        "Of course not," said a sympathetic friend.
        "Well," retorted Frank, "neither would Jennifer."


@@ -1751,8 +1724,8 @@ extracurricular activity except you."
 %
        "Gentlemen of the jury," said the defense attorney, now beginning
 to warm to his summation, "the real question here before you is, shall this
 %
        "Gentlemen of the jury," said the defense attorney, now beginning
 to warm to his summation, "the real question here before you is, shall this

-beautiful young woman be forced to languish away her loveliest years in a 
-dark prison cell?  Or shall she be set free to return to her cozy little 
+beautiful young woman be forced to languish away her loveliest years in a
+dark prison cell?  Or shall she be set free to return to her cozy little

 apartment at 4134 Mountain Ave. -- there to spend her lonely, loveless hours
 in her boudoir, lying beside her little Princess phone, 962-7873?"
 %
 apartment at 4134 Mountain Ave. -- there to spend her lonely, loveless hours
 in her boudoir, lying beside her little Princess phone, 962-7873?"
 %


@@ -1823,14 +1796,14 @@ for it is complete within itself.  It exists beyond space and time."
        Software and Hardware, ashamed, returned to their homes.
                -- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
 %
        Software and Hardware, ashamed, returned to their homes.
                -- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
 %

-       Harry, a golfing enthusiast if there ever was one, arrived home 
+       Harry, a golfing enthusiast if there ever was one, arrived home

 from the club to an irate, ranting wife.
        "I'm leaving you, Harry," his wife announced bitterly.  "You
 promised me faithfully that you'd be back before six and here it is almost
 nine.  It just can't take that long to play 18 holes of golf."
        "Honey, wait," said Harry.  "Let me explain.  I know what I promised
 you, but I have a very good reason for being late.  Fred and I tee'd off
 from the club to an irate, ranting wife.
        "I'm leaving you, Harry," his wife announced bitterly.  "You
 promised me faithfully that you'd be back before six and here it is almost
 nine.  It just can't take that long to play 18 holes of golf."
        "Honey, wait," said Harry.  "Let me explain.  I know what I promised
 you, but I have a very good reason for being late.  Fred and I tee'd off

-right on time and everything was find for the first three holes.  Then, on
+right on time and everything was fine for the first three holes.  Then, on

 the fourth tee Fred had a stroke.  I ran back to the clubhouse but couldn't
 find a doctor.  And, by the time I got back to Fred, he was dead.  So, for
 the next 15 holes, it was hit the ball, drag Fred, hit the ball, drag Fred...
 the fourth tee Fred had a stroke.  I ran back to the clubhouse but couldn't
 find a doctor.  And, by the time I got back to Fred, he was dead.  So, for
 the next 15 holes, it was hit the ball, drag Fred, hit the ball, drag Fred...


@@ -1839,7 +1812,7 @@ the next 15 holes, it was hit the ball, drag Fred, hit the ball, drag Fred...
 No matter how bad the situation, he would always say, "Well, it could have
 been worse."
        To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a
 No matter how bad the situation, he would always say, "Well, it could have
 been worse."
        To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a

-situation so completely black, so dreadful, that even Harry could find no 
+situation so completely black, so dreadful, that even Harry could find no

 hope in it.  Approaching him at the club bar one day, one of them said,
 "Harry!  Did you hear what happened to George?  He came home last night,
 found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both, and then turned
 hope in it.  Approaching him at the club bar one day, one of them said,
 "Harry!  Did you hear what happened to George?  He came home last night,
 found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both, and then turned


@@ -1924,7 +1897,7 @@ of her blonde companion.
        "How many people work here?"
        "Oh, about half."
 %
        "How many people work here?"
        "Oh, about half."
 %

-       How many seconds are there in a year?  If I tell you there  are
+       How many seconds are there in a year?  If I tell you there are

 3.155  x  10^7, you won't even try to remember it.  On the other hand, who
 could forget that, to within half a percent, pi seconds is a nanocentury.
                -- Tom Duff, Bell Labs
 3.155  x  10^7, you won't even try to remember it.  On the other hand, who
 could forget that, to within half a percent, pi seconds is a nanocentury.
                -- Tom Duff, Bell Labs


@@ -2146,7 +2119,7 @@ we'll either all go into the playoffs, or we'll all go home and play golf.
        If you rap your knuckles against a window jamb or door, if you
 brush your leg against a bed or desk, if you catch your foot in a curled-
 up corner of a rug, or strike a toe against a desk or chair, go back and
        If you rap your knuckles against a window jamb or door, if you
 brush your leg against a bed or desk, if you catch your foot in a curled-
 up corner of a rug, or strike a toe against a desk or chair, go back and

-repeat the sequence. 
+repeat the sequence.

        You will find yourself surprised how far off course you were to
 hit that window jamb, that door, that chair.  Get back on course and do it
 again.  How can you pilot a spacecraft if you can't find your way around
        You will find yourself surprised how far off course you were to
 hit that window jamb, that door, that chair.  Get back on course and do it
 again.  How can you pilot a spacecraft if you can't find your way around


@@ -2237,7 +2210,7 @@ man.  Mud-as-man alone could speak.
        "Certainly," said man.
        "Then I leave it to you to think of one for all of this," said God.
        And He went away.
        "Certainly," said man.
        "Then I leave it to you to think of one for all of this," said God.
        And He went away.

-               -- Kurt Vonnegut, Between Time and Timbuktu"
+               -- Kurt Vonnegut, "Between Time and Timbuktu"

 %
        In the beginning there was data.  The data was without form and
 null, and darkness was upon the face of the console; and the Spirit of
 %
        In the beginning there was data.  The data was without form and
 null, and darkness was upon the face of the console; and the Spirit of


@@ -2345,10 +2318,10 @@ than a citizen bless their country?"
        Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care
 what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you
 may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness.  Conversely, if
        Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care
 what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you
 may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness.  Conversely, if

-not forgiveness but something else may be required to insure any possible
+not forgiveness but something else may be required to ensure any possible

 benefit for which you may be eligible after the destruction of your body,
 I ask this, whatever it may be, be granted or withheld, as the case may be,
 benefit for which you may be eligible after the destruction of your body,
 I ask this, whatever it may be, be granted or withheld, as the case may be,

-in such a manner as to insure your receiving said benefit.  I ask this in my
+in such a manner as to ensure your receiving said benefit.  I ask this in my

 capacity as your elected intermediary between yourself and that which may
 not be yourself, but which may have an interest in the matter of your
 receiving as much as it is possible for you to receive of this thing, and
 capacity as your elected intermediary between yourself and that which may
 not be yourself, but which may have an interest in the matter of your
 receiving as much as it is possible for you to receive of this thing, and


@@ -2391,7 +2364,7 @@ not be pleased with this plan, because they want you all to themselves and
 because in the presence of your friend, they will have to act like mature
 human beings.
        The worst kind of friend to take home is a girl, because in that case,
 because in the presence of your friend, they will have to act like mature
 human beings.
        The worst kind of friend to take home is a girl, because in that case,

-there is the potential that your parents will lose you not just for the 
+there is the potential that your parents will lose you not just for the

 duration of the visit but forever.  The worst kind of girl to take home is one
 of a different religion:  Not only will you be lost to your parents forever but
 you will be lost to a woman who is immune to their religious/moral arguments
 duration of the visit but forever.  The worst kind of girl to take home is one
 of a different religion:  Not only will you be lost to your parents forever but
 you will be lost to a woman who is immune to their religious/moral arguments


@@ -2402,7 +2375,7 @@ response to anyone of a different religion.  How to prepare them for the shock?
        Simple.  Call them up shortly before your visit and tell them that you
 have gotten quite serious about somebody who is of a different religion, a
 different race and the same sex.  Tell them you have already invited this
        Simple.  Call them up shortly before your visit and tell them that you
 have gotten quite serious about somebody who is of a different religion, a
 different race and the same sex.  Tell them you have already invited this

-person to meet them.  Give the information a moment to sink in and then 
+person to meet them.  Give the information a moment to sink in and then

 remark that you were only kidding, that your lover is merely of a different
 religion.  They will be so relieved they will welcome her with open arms.
                -- Playboy, January, 1983
 remark that you were only kidding, that your lover is merely of a different
 religion.  They will be so relieved they will welcome her with open arms.
                -- Playboy, January, 1983


@@ -2599,7 +2572,7 @@ the world it is best to hold hands and stick together.
                   in kindergarten"
 %
        Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to
                   in kindergarten"
 %
        Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to

-do, and how to be, I learned in kindergarten.  Wisdom  was not at the top
+do, and how to be, I learned in kindergarten.  Wisdom was not at the top

 of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandbox at nursery school.
        These are the things I learned:  Share everything.  Play fair.
 Don't hit people.  Put things back where you found them.  Clean up your
 of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandbox at nursery school.
        These are the things I learned:  Share everything.  Play fair.
 Don't hit people.  Put things back where you found them.  Clean up your


@@ -2626,10 +2599,10 @@ people in England, they've chosen you, it's a great honour, son."
        Laughingly I felled her with a right cross.
                -- Spike Milligan
 %
        Laughingly I felled her with a right cross.
                -- Spike Milligan
 %

-       Moving along a dimly light street, a man I know was suddenly 
+       Moving along a dimly light street, a man I know was suddenly

 approached by a stranger who had slipped from the shadows nearby.
        "Please, sir," pleaded the stranger, "would you be so kind as
 approached by a stranger who had slipped from the shadows nearby.
        "Please, sir," pleaded the stranger, "would you be so kind as

-to help a poor unfortunate fellow who is hungry and can't find work?  
+to help a poor unfortunate fellow who is hungry and can't find work?

 All I have in the world is this gun."
 %
        Mr. Jones related an incident from "some time back" when IBM Canada
 All I have in the world is this gun."
 %
        Mr. Jones related an incident from "some time back" when IBM Canada


@@ -2725,7 +2698,7 @@ it.  The answer is obvious.  A Japanese tourist took the picture.
        Never ask if your lover has had therapy.  Only people who have had
 therapy ask if people have had therapy.
        Don't ask about plaster casts of male sex organs marked JIMI, JIM, etc.
        Never ask if your lover has had therapy.  Only people who have had
 therapy ask if people have had therapy.
        Don't ask about plaster casts of male sex organs marked JIMI, JIM, etc.

-Assume that she bought them at a flea  market.
+Assume that she bought them at a flea market.

                -- James Peterson and Kate Nolan
 %
        NEW YORK-- Kraft Foods, Inc. announced today that its board of
                -- James Peterson and Kate Nolan
 %
        NEW YORK-- Kraft Foods, Inc. announced today that its board of


@@ -2753,18 +2726,18 @@ can't."
 %
        Now she speaks rapidly.  "Do you know *why* you want to program?"
        He shakes his head.  He hasn't the faintest idea.
 %
        Now she speaks rapidly.  "Do you know *why* you want to program?"
        He shakes his head.  He hasn't the faintest idea.

-       "For the sheer *joy* of programming!" she cries triumphantly.  
-"The joy of the parent, the artist, the craftsman.  "You take a program, 
-born weak and impotent as a dimly-realized solution.  You nurture the 
-program and guide it down the right path, building, watching it grow ever 
-stronger.  Sometimes you paint with tiny strokes, a keystroke added here, 
+       "For the sheer *joy* of programming!" she cries triumphantly.
+"The joy of the parent, the artist, the craftsman.  "You take a program,
+born weak and impotent as a dimly-realized solution.  You nurture the
+program and guide it down the right path, building, watching it grow ever
+stronger.  Sometimes you paint with tiny strokes, a keystroke added here,

 a keystroke changed there."  She sweeps her arm in a wide arc.  "And other
 a keystroke changed there."  She sweeps her arm in a wide arc.  "And other

-times you savage whole *blocks* of code, ripping out the program's very 
-*essence*, then beginning anew.  But always building, creating, filling the 
-program with your own personal stamp, your own quirks and nuances.  Watching 
-the program grow stronger, patching it when it crashes, until finally it can 
+times you savage whole *blocks* of code, ripping out the program's very
+*essence*, then beginning anew.  But always building, creating, filling the
+program with your own personal stamp, your own quirks and nuances.  Watching
+the program grow stronger, patching it when it crashes, until finally it can

 stand alone -- proud, powerful, and perfect.  This is the programmer's finest
 stand alone -- proud, powerful, and perfect.  This is the programmer's finest

-hour!"  Softly at first, then louder, he hears the strains of a Sousa march. 
+hour!"  Softly at first, then louder, he hears the strains of a Sousa march.

 "This ... this is your canvas! your clay!  Go forth and create a masterwork!"
 %
        Obviously the subject of death was in the air, but more as something
 "This ... this is your canvas! your clay!  Go forth and create a masterwork!"
 %
        Obviously the subject of death was in the air, but more as something


@@ -2784,7 +2757,7 @@ confirm who I am.
                -- Captain Freedom
 %
        Old Barlow was a crossing-tender at a junction where an express train
                -- Captain Freedom
 %
        Old Barlow was a crossing-tender at a junction where an express train

-demolished an automobile and it's occupants. Being the chief witness, his
+demolished an automobile and its occupants. Being the chief witness, his

 testimony was vitally important. Barlow explained that the night was dark,
 and he waved his lantern frantically, but the driver of the car paid
 no attention to the signal.
 testimony was vitally important. Barlow explained that the night was dark,
 and he waved his lantern frantically, but the driver of the car paid
 no attention to the signal.


@@ -2820,11 +2793,11 @@ wreckage.  "Why don't you look where the hell you're going!"
 dusted himself off.  "And why don't you just wear a wristwatch like a
 normal person?"
 %
 dusted himself off.  "And why don't you just wear a wristwatch like a
 normal person?"
 %

-       On the occasion of Nero's 25th birthday, he arrived at the Colosseum 
-to find that the Praetorian Guard had prepared a treat for him in the arena.  
-There stood 25 naked virgins, like candles on a cake, tied to poles, burning 
-alive.  "Wonderful!" exclaimed the deranged emperor, "but one of them isn't 
-dead yet.  I can see her lips moving.  Go quickly and find out what she is 
+       On the occasion of Nero's 25th birthday, he arrived at the Colosseum
+to find that the Praetorian Guard had prepared a treat for him in the arena.
+There stood 25 naked virgins, like candles on a cake, tied to poles, burning
+alive.  "Wonderful!" exclaimed the deranged emperor, "but one of them isn't
+dead yet.  I can see her lips moving.  Go quickly and find out what she is

 saying."
        The centurion saluted, and hurried out to the virgin, getting as near
 the flames as he dared, and listened intently.  Then he turned and ran back
 saying."
        The centurion saluted, and hurried out to the virgin, getting as near
 the flames as he dared, and listened intently.  Then he turned and ran back


@@ -2936,8 +2909,8 @@ stepped absentmindedly stepped over the sleeping lion on his way back to his
 car.  Immediately, 1500 policemen converged on him and arrested him for
 transporting a myna across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.
 %
 car.  Immediately, 1500 policemen converged on him and arrested him for
 transporting a myna across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.
 %

-       Once upon a time there was a beautiful young girl taking a stroll 
-through the woods.  All at once she saw an extremely ugly bull frog seated 
+       Once upon a time there was a beautiful young girl taking a stroll
+through the woods.  All at once she saw an extremely ugly bull frog seated

 on a log and to her amazement the frog spoke to her.  "Maiden," croaked the
 frog, "would you do me a favor?  This will be hard for you to believe, but
 I was once a handsome, charming prince and then a mean, ugly old witch cast
 on a log and to her amazement the frog spoke to her.  "Maiden," croaked the
 frog, "would you do me a favor?  This will be hard for you to believe, but
 I was once a handsome, charming prince and then a mean, ugly old witch cast


@@ -2959,7 +2932,7 @@ biggest, strongest fish he had ever caught.  He fought with it for hours,
 until, finally, he managed to bring it to the surface.  Looking of the edge
 of the boat, he saw the head of this huge fish breaking the surface.  Smiling
 with pride, he reached over the edge to pull the fish up.  Unfortunately, he
 until, finally, he managed to bring it to the surface.  Looking of the edge
 of the boat, he saw the head of this huge fish breaking the surface.  Smiling
 with pride, he reached over the edge to pull the fish up.  Unfortunately, he

-accidently caught his watch on the edge, and, before he knew it, there was a
+accidentally caught his watch on the edge, and, before he knew it, there was a

 snap, and his watch tumbled into the water next to the fish with a loud
 "sploosh!"  Distracted by this shiny object, the fish made a sudden lunge,
 simultaneously snapping the line, and swallowing the watch.  Sadly, the
 snap, and his watch tumbled into the water next to the fish with a loud
 "sploosh!"  Distracted by this shiny object, the fish made a sudden lunge,
 simultaneously snapping the line, and swallowing the watch.  Sadly, the


@@ -3270,7 +3243,7 @@ Someone I need.
        Sam went to his psychiatrist complaining of a hatred for elephants.
 "I can't stand elephants," he explained.  "I lie awake nights despising
 them.  The thought of an elephant fills me with loathing."
        Sam went to his psychiatrist complaining of a hatred for elephants.
 "I can't stand elephants," he explained.  "I lie awake nights despising
 them.  The thought of an elephant fills me with loathing."

-       "Sam," said the psychiatrist, "there's only one thing for you to do.  
+       "Sam," said the psychiatrist, "there's only one thing for you to do.

 Go to Africa, organize a safari, find an elephant in the jungle and shoot it.
 That way you'll get it out of your system."
        Sam immediately made arrangements for a safari hunt in Africa,
 Go to Africa, organize a safari, find an elephant in the jungle and shoot it.
 That way you'll get it out of your system."
        Sam immediately made arrangements for a safari hunt in Africa,


@@ -3279,13 +3252,13 @@ time getting out on the jungle trails.  After they had been hunting for
 several days, Sam's best friend grabbed him by the arm one morning and
 yelled at him:
        "Sam, Sam, Sam!  Over there behind that tree there's and elephant!
 several days, Sam's best friend grabbed him by the arm one morning and
 yelled at him:
        "Sam, Sam, Sam!  Over there behind that tree there's and elephant!

-Sam -- Get your gun -- no, no, not THAT gun -- the rifle with the longer 
+Sam -- Get your gun -- no, no, not THAT gun -- the rifle with the longer

 barrel!  Now aim it!  QUICK!  SAM!  QUICK!  No!  Not that way -- this way!
 Be sure you don't jerk the trigger!  Wait SAM!  Don't let him see you!  Aim
 at his head!"
        Sam whirled around, took aim, and killed his friend.  He was put in
 prison and his psychiatrist flew to Africa to visit him.  "I sent you over
 barrel!  Now aim it!  QUICK!  SAM!  QUICK!  No!  Not that way -- this way!
 Be sure you don't jerk the trigger!  Wait SAM!  Don't let him see you!  Aim
 at his head!"
        Sam whirled around, took aim, and killed his friend.  He was put in
 prison and his psychiatrist flew to Africa to visit him.  "I sent you over

-here to kill and elephant and instead you shoot your best friend," the 
+here to kill and elephant and instead you shoot your best friend," the

 psychiatrist said.  "Why?"
        "Well," Sam replied, "there's only one thing in the world that I
 hate more than elephants and that is a loudmouth know-it-all!"
 psychiatrist said.  "Why?"
        "Well," Sam replied, "there's only one thing in the world that I
 hate more than elephants and that is a loudmouth know-it-all!"


@@ -3644,7 +3617,7 @@ hitch the length and breadth of the Galaxy, struggle against terrible odds,
 win through and still know where his towel is, is clearly a man to be
 reckoned with.
 %
 win through and still know where his towel is, is clearly a man to be
 reckoned with.
 %

-       The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on
+       The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on

 the subject of towels.
        A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an
 interstellar hitchhiker can have.  Partly it has great practical value.
 the subject of towels.
        A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an
 interstellar hitchhiker can have.  Partly it has great practical value.


@@ -3716,11 +3689,11 @@ you know where it might be?"
 in the data center."
                -- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
 %
 in the data center."
                -- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
 %

-       The Martian landed his saucer in Manhattan, and immediately upon 
-emerging was approached by a panhandler.  "Mister," said the man, "can I 
+       The Martian landed his saucer in Manhattan, and immediately upon
+emerging was approached by a panhandler.  "Mister," said the man, "can I

 have a quarter?"
        The Martian asked, "What's a quarter?"
 have a quarter?"
        The Martian asked, "What's a quarter?"

-       The panhandler thought a minute, brightened, then said, "You're 
+       The panhandler thought a minute, brightened, then said, "You're

 right!  Can I have a dollar?"
 %
        The master programmer moves from program to program without fear.  No
 right!  Can I have a dollar?"
 %
        The master programmer moves from program to program without fear.  No


@@ -3901,7 +3874,7 @@ Suckin' them hop toads, suckin' them chunkers,
 Suckin' them a leapy type, suckin' them flunkers.
 
 Look at them toad suckers, ain't they snappy?
 Suckin' them a leapy type, suckin' them flunkers.
 
 Look at them toad suckers, ain't they snappy?

-Suckin' them bog frogs sure make's 'em happy!
+Suckin' them bog frogs sure makes 'em happy!

 
 Them hugger mugger toad suckers, way down south,
 Stickin' them sucky toads in they mouth!
 
 Them hugger mugger toad suckers, way down south,
 Stickin' them sucky toads in they mouth!


@@ -4026,7 +3999,7 @@ you the Widow Miffin?" a small boy asked.
 they're carrying upstairs!"
 %
        There was a mad scientist (a mad... social... scientist) who kidnapped
 they're carrying upstairs!"
 %
        There was a mad scientist (a mad... social... scientist) who kidnapped

-three colleagues, an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician, and locked 
+three colleagues, an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician, and locked

 each of them in separate cells with plenty of canned food and water but no
 can opener.
        A month later, returning, the mad scientist went to the engineer's
 each of them in separate cells with plenty of canned food and water but no
 can opener.
        A month later, returning, the mad scientist went to the engineer's


@@ -4037,7 +4010,7 @@ and escaped.
 off the tin cans by throwing them against the wall.  She was developing a good
 pitching arm and a new quantum theory.
        The mathematician had stacked the unopened cans into a surprising
 off the tin cans by throwing them against the wall.  She was developing a good
 pitching arm and a new quantum theory.
        The mathematician had stacked the unopened cans into a surprising

-solution to the kissing problem; his dessiccated corpse was propped calmly
+solution to the kissing problem; his desiccated corpse was propped calmly

 against a wall, and this was inscribed on the floor:
        Theorem: If I can't open these cans, I'll die.
        Proof: assume the opposite...
 against a wall, and this was inscribed on the floor:
        Theorem: If I can't open these cans, I'll die.
        Proof: assume the opposite...


@@ -4116,10 +4089,10 @@ spread only for demons or for gods."
                -- Gordon R. Dickson, "Soldier Ask Not"
 %
        "They spend years searching for their natural parents, convinced their
                -- Gordon R. Dickson, "Soldier Ask Not"
 %
        "They spend years searching for their natural parents, convinced their

-parents will be happy to see them.  I mean, really, can you imagine someone 
+parents will be happy to see them.  I mean, really, can you imagine someone

 being happy to see an orphan?  Nobody wants them... that's why they're orphans!"
        The speaker is Anne Baker, founder and guiding force behind
 being happy to see an orphan?  Nobody wants them... that's why they're orphans!"
        The speaker is Anne Baker, founder and guiding force behind

-Orphan-Off, an organization dedicated to keeping orphans confused about the 
+Orphan-Off, an organization dedicated to keeping orphans confused about the

 whereabouts of their natural parents.  She is a woman with a mission:
        "Basically, what we do is band together to exchange information
 about which orphans are looking for which parents in what part of the
 whereabouts of their natural parents.  She is a woman with a mission:
        "Basically, what we do is band together to exchange information
 about which orphans are looking for which parents in what part of the


@@ -4131,7 +4104,7 @@ country.  Well, by the time the kid shows up, the family is prepared.  They
 look over the kid's photos and information and they say, 'Oh, the Emersons...
 yeah, they used to live here... I think they moved out about five years ago.
 I think they went to Iowa, or maybe Idaho.'
 look over the kid's photos and information and they say, 'Oh, the Emersons...
 yeah, they used to live here... I think they moved out about five years ago.
 I think they went to Iowa, or maybe Idaho.'

-       "Bam, the door shuts in the kid's face and he's back to zero again.  
+       "Bam, the door shuts in the kid's face and he's back to zero again.

 He's got nothing to go on but the orphan's pathetic determination to continue.
        "It's really amazing how much these kids will put up with.  Last year
 we even sent one kid all the way to Australia.  I mean, really.  Besides, if
 He's got nothing to go on but the orphan's pathetic determination to continue.
        "It's really amazing how much these kids will put up with.  Last year
 we even sent one kid all the way to Australia.  I mean, really.  Besides, if


@@ -4256,13 +4229,13 @@ lawyers insisted.  We tried to ignore them but they threatened us with the
 attack shark at which point we relented.
                -- Haven Tree Software Limited, "Interactive EasyFlow"
 %
 attack shark at which point we relented.
                -- Haven Tree Software Limited, "Interactive EasyFlow"
 %

-       "We friends, yes?"  The shoe shine boy put on his hustling smile 
-and looked into the Sailor's dead, cold, undersea eyes, eyes without a 
-trace of warmth or lust or hate or any feeling the boy had experienced 
-in himself or seen in another, at once cold and intense, impersonal and 
-predatory. 
-       The Sailor leaned forward and put a finger on the boy's inner arm 
-at the elbow.  He spoke in his dead junky whisper.  "With veins like that, 
+       "We friends, yes?"  The shoe shine boy put on his hustling smile
+and looked into the Sailor's dead, cold, undersea eyes, eyes without a
+trace of warmth or lust or hate or any feeling the boy had experienced
+in himself or seen in another, at once cold and intense, impersonal and
+predatory.
+       The Sailor leaned forward and put a finger on the boy's inner arm
+at the elbow.  He spoke in his dead junky whisper.  "With veins like that,

 Kid, I'd have myself a time!"
                -- William Burroughs
 %
 Kid, I'd have myself a time!"
                -- William Burroughs
 %


@@ -4323,9 +4296,9 @@ destroying Subject-Object by becoming them.
 Nakamura arose, a smile on his face and the light of laughter in his eyes.
                -- Wayfarer
 %
 Nakamura arose, a smile on his face and the light of laughter in his eyes.
                -- Wayfarer
 %

-       "Well, it's a little rough... it might not be necessary to drag him 40 
-blocks.  Maybe just four.  You could put him in the trunk for the first 36 
-blocks, then haul him out and drag him the last four; that would certainly 
+       "Well, it's a little rough... it might not be necessary to drag him 40
+blocks.  Maybe just four.  You could put him in the trunk for the first 36
+blocks, then haul him out and drag him the last four; that would certainly

 scare the piss out of him, bumping alone the street, feeling all his skin being
 ripped off..."
        "He'd be a bloody mess.  They might think he was just some drunk and
 scare the piss out of him, bumping alone the street, feeling all his skin being
 ripped off..."
        "He'd be a bloody mess.  They might think he was just some drunk and


@@ -4437,7 +4410,7 @@ fantasies?"
        "You keep it to yourself."
                -- Broadcast News
 %
        "You keep it to yourself."
                -- Broadcast News
 %

-       "What do you give a man who has everything?" the pretty teenager 
+       "What do you give a man who has everything?" the pretty teenager

 asked her mother.
        "Encouragement, dear," she replied.
 %
 asked her mother.
        "Encouragement, dear," she replied.
 %


@@ -4525,7 +4498,7 @@ Piglet.
        Pooh nodded thoughtfully.  "It's the same thing," he said.
 %
        While hunting, a man saw a beautiful nude woman come running out of
        Pooh nodded thoughtfully.  "It's the same thing," he said.
 %
        While hunting, a man saw a beautiful nude woman come running out of

-the woods and disappear across the clearing.  Just as she got out of sight, 
+the woods and disappear across the clearing.  Just as she got out of sight,

 three men dressed in white uniforms came running out of the same woods.
 "Hey, you," yelled one of them, "did you see a woman come by here?"
        "Yes," replied the hunter.  "What's the trouble?"
 three men dressed in white uniforms came running out of the same woods.
 "Hey, you," yelled one of them, "did you see a woman come by here?"
        "Yes," replied the hunter.  "What's the trouble?"


@@ -4654,13 +4627,13 @@ and you may feel free to kick his ass."
                -- Tom Robbins, "Jitterbug Perfume"
 %
        "You say there are two types of people?"
                -- Tom Robbins, "Jitterbug Perfume"
 %
        "You say there are two types of people?"

-       "Yes, those who separate people into two groups and those that 
+       "Yes, those who separate people into two groups and those that

 don't."
        "Wrong.  There are three groups:
                Those who separate people into three groups.
                Those who don't separate people into groups.
                Those who can't decide."
 don't."
        "Wrong.  There are three groups:
                Those who separate people into three groups.
                Those who don't separate people into groups.
                Those who can't decide."

-       "Wait a minute, what about people who separate people into 
+       "Wait a minute, what about people who separate people into

 two groups?"
        "Oh.  Okay, then there are four groups."
        "Aren't you then separating people into four groups?"
 two groups?"
        "Oh.  Okay, then there are four groups."
        "Aren't you then separating people into four groups?"


@@ -4771,7 +4744,7 @@ you are young.
     ***
   *******
  *********
     ***
   *******
  *********

- ****** Confucious say: "Is stuffy inside fortune cookie."
+ ****** Confucius say: "Is stuffy inside fortune cookie."

   *******
     ***
 %
   *******
     ***
 %


@@ -4791,7 +4764,7 @@ man.
 
 Set the variable $LOSERS to all the people that you think are losers.  This
 will cause all said losers to have the variable $PEOPLE-WHO-THINK-I-AM-A-LOSER
 
 Set the variable $LOSERS to all the people that you think are losers.  This
 will cause all said losers to have the variable $PEOPLE-WHO-THINK-I-AM-A-LOSER

-updated in their .login file.  Should you attempt to execute a job on a 
+updated in their .login file.  Should you attempt to execute a job on a

 machine with poor response time and a machine on your local net is currently
 populated by losers, that machine will be freed up for your job through a
 cold boot process.
 machine with poor response time and a machine on your local net is currently
 populated by losers, that machine will be freed up for your job through a
 cold boot process.


@@ -4801,7 +4774,7 @@ cold boot process.
 A new system, the CIRCULATORY system, has been added.
 
 The long-experimental CIRCULATORY system has been released to users.  The
 A new system, the CIRCULATORY system, has been added.
 
 The long-experimental CIRCULATORY system has been released to users.  The

-Lisp Machine uses Type B fluid, the L machine uses Type A fluid.  When the 
+Lisp Machine uses Type B fluid, the L machine uses Type A fluid.  When the

 switch to Common Lisp occurs both machines will, of course, be Type O.
 Please check fluid level by using the DIP stick which is located in the
 back of VMI monitors.  Unchecked low fluid levels can cause poor paging
 switch to Common Lisp occurs both machines will, of course, be Type O.
 Please check fluid level by using the DIP stick which is located in the
 back of VMI monitors.  Unchecked low fluid levels can cause poor paging


@@ -4823,22 +4796,22 @@ please communicate them by one of the following paths:
        For that personal contact feeling call 1-415-642-4948; our trained
        operators are on call 24 hours a day.  VISA/MC accepted.*
 
        For that personal contact feeling call 1-415-642-4948; our trained
        operators are on call 24 hours a day.  VISA/MC accepted.*
 

-* Our very rich lawyers have assured us that we are not 
+* Our very rich lawyers have assured us that we are not

   responsible for any errors or advice given over the phone.
 %
 ===  ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE  ========================
 
 CAR and CDR now return extra values.
 
   responsible for any errors or advice given over the phone.
 %
 ===  ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE  ========================
 
 CAR and CDR now return extra values.
 

-The function CAR now returns two values.  Since it has to go to the trouble 
-to figure out if the object is carcdr-able anyway, we figured you might as 
-well get both halves at once.  For example, the following code shows how to 
+The function CAR now returns two values.  Since it has to go to the trouble
+to figure out if the object is carcdr-able anyway, we figured you might as
+well get both halves at once.  For example, the following code shows how to

 destructure a cons (SOME-CONS) into its two slots (THE-CAR and THE-CDR):
 
        (MULTIPLE-VALUE-BIND (THE-CAR THE-CDR) (CAR SOME-CONS) ...)
 
 For symmetry with CAR, CDR returns a second value which is the CAR of the
 destructure a cons (SOME-CONS) into its two slots (THE-CAR and THE-CDR):
 
        (MULTIPLE-VALUE-BIND (THE-CAR THE-CDR) (CAR SOME-CONS) ...)
 
 For symmetry with CAR, CDR returns a second value which is the CAR of the

-object.  In a related change, the functions MAKE-ARRAY and CONS have been 
+object.  In a related change, the functions MAKE-ARRAY and CONS have been

 fixed so they don't allocate any storage except on the stack.  This should
 hopefully help people who don't like using the garbage collector because
 it cold boots the machine so often.
 fixed so they don't allocate any storage except on the stack.  This should
 hopefully help people who don't like using the garbage collector because
 it cold boots the machine so often.


@@ -4879,16 +4852,16 @@ messages (such as IEC703, "disk error") and allows you to dequeue your job.
 %
 ===  ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE  ========================
 
 %
 ===  ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE  ========================
 

-The garbage collector now works.  In addition a new, experimental garbage 
+The garbage collector now works.  In addition a new, experimental garbage

 collection algorithm has been installed.  With SI:%DSK-GC-QLX-BITS set to 17,
 collection algorithm has been installed.  With SI:%DSK-GC-QLX-BITS set to 17,

-(NOT the default) the old garbage collection algorithm remains in force; when 
+(NOT the default) the old garbage collection algorithm remains in force; when

 virtual storage is filled, the machine cold boots itself.  With SI:%DSK-GC-
 QLX-BITS set to 23, the new garbage collector is enabled.  Unlike most garbage
 virtual storage is filled, the machine cold boots itself.  With SI:%DSK-GC-
 QLX-BITS set to 23, the new garbage collector is enabled.  Unlike most garbage

-collectors, the new gc starts its mark phase from the mind of the user, rather 
-than from the obarray.  This allows the garbage collection of significantly 
+collectors, the new gc starts its mark phase from the mind of the user, rather
+than from the obarray.  This allows the garbage collection of significantly

 more Qs.  As the garbage collector runs, it may ask you something like "Do you
 remember what SI:RDTBL-TRANS does?", and if you can't give a reasonable answer
 more Qs.  As the garbage collector runs, it may ask you something like "Do you
 remember what SI:RDTBL-TRANS does?", and if you can't give a reasonable answer

-in thirty seconds, the symbol becomes a candidate for GCing.  The variable 
+in thirty seconds, the symbol becomes a candidate for GCing.  The variable

 SI:%GC-QLX-LUSER-TM governs how long the GC waits before timing out the user.
 %
 ===  ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE  ========================
 SI:%GC-QLX-LUSER-TM governs how long the GC waits before timing out the user.
 %
 ===  ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE  ========================


@@ -4913,10 +4886,10 @@ We hope this clears up the many questions we've had about it.
 %
 ****  CONVENTION REMINDER
 
 %
 ****  CONVENTION REMINDER
 

-No experiment was approved for the convention by the Human Subjects 
-Committee of the Psychiatric Convention Planning Team.  If you notice 
-smoke coming from under a closed door, if you find a body on the hotel 
-carpet, or if you just meet someone who orders you to press a button 
+No experiment was approved for the convention by the Human Subjects
+Committee of the Psychiatric Convention Planning Team.  If you notice
+smoke coming from under a closed door, if you find a body on the hotel
+carpet, or if you just meet someone who orders you to press a button

 marked "450 volts", react as you would normally.
 %
 ****  GROWTH CENTER REPAIR SERVICE
 marked "450 volts", react as you would normally.
 %
 ****  GROWTH CENTER REPAIR SERVICE


@@ -4993,7 +4966,7 @@ that he didn't force you down on the asking price.
 
 To minimize scheduling confusion, please realize that if you are taking one
 course which is offered at only one time on a given day, and another which is
 
 To minimize scheduling confusion, please realize that if you are taking one
 course which is offered at only one time on a given day, and another which is

-offered at all times on that day, the second class will be arranged as to 
+offered at all times on that day, the second class will be arranged as to

 afford maximum inconvenience to the student.  For example, if you happen
 to work on campus, you will have 1-2 hours between classes.  If you commute,
 there will be a minimum of 6 hours between the two classes.
 afford maximum inconvenience to the student.  For example, if you happen
 to work on campus, you will have 1-2 hours between classes.  If you commute,
 there will be a minimum of 6 hours between the two classes.


@@ -5025,7 +4998,7 @@ astray by hunting and pecking.
 inveterate skeptic I have closed my mind to the truth.  Most notably I have
 ignored the evidence for an Earth that is six thousand years old.  Well, I
 haven't ignored it; I considered the purported evidence and *then* rejected
 inveterate skeptic I have closed my mind to the truth.  Most notably I have
 ignored the evidence for an Earth that is six thousand years old.  Well, I
 haven't ignored it; I considered the purported evidence and *then* rejected

-it.  There is a difference, and this is a difference, we might say, between 
+it.  There is a difference, and this is a difference, we might say, between

 prejudice and postjudice.  Prejudice is making a judgment before you have
 looked at the facts.  Postjudice is making a judgment afterwards.  Prejudice
 is terrible, in the sense that you commit injustices and you make serious
 prejudice and postjudice.  Prejudice is making a judgment before you have
 looked at the facts.  Postjudice is making a judgment afterwards.  Prejudice
 is terrible, in the sense that you commit injustices and you make serious


@@ -5150,7 +5123,7 @@ What's that?  A chartreuse flamethrower?"
        diversion renders John a hebetudinous fellow.
 -- A revolving concretion of earthy or mineral matter accumulates no congeries
        of small, green bryophytic plant.
        diversion renders John a hebetudinous fellow.
 -- A revolving concretion of earthy or mineral matter accumulates no congeries
        of small, green bryophytic plant.

--- Abstention from any aleatory undertaking precludes a potential escallation
+-- Abstention from any aleatory undertaking precludes a potential escalation

        of a lucrative nature.
 -- Missiles of ligneous or osteal consistency have the potential of fracturing
        osseous structure, but appellations will eternally remain innocuous.
        of a lucrative nature.
 -- Missiles of ligneous or osteal consistency have the potential of fracturing
        osseous structure, but appellations will eternally remain innocuous.


@@ -5165,7 +5138,7 @@ What's that?  A chartreuse flamethrower?"
 -- The person presenting the ultimate cachinnation possesses thereby the
        optimal cachinnation.
 -- Abstention from any aleatory undertaking precludes a potential
 -- The person presenting the ultimate cachinnation possesses thereby the
        optimal cachinnation.
 -- Abstention from any aleatory undertaking precludes a potential

-       escallation of a lucrative nature.
+       escalation of a lucrative nature.

 -- Missiles of ligneous or osteal consistency have the potential of
        fracturing osseous structure, but appellations will eternally
        remain innocuous.
 -- Missiles of ligneous or osteal consistency have the potential of
        fracturing osseous structure, but appellations will eternally
        remain innocuous.


@@ -5222,21 +5195,21 @@ dangerous development, although clearly it is what they wanted all along.
 %
 ***** Special AI Seminar (abstract)
 
 %
 ***** Special AI Seminar (abstract)
 

-It has been widely recognized that AI programs require expert knowledge 
+It has been widely recognized that AI programs require expert knowledge

 in order to perform well in complex domains.  But knowledge alone is not
 in order to perform well in complex domains.  But knowledge alone is not

-sufficient for some applications; wisdom is needed as well.  Accordingly, 
-we have developed a new approach to artificial intelligence which we call 
-"wisdom engineering".  As a test of our ideas, we have written IMMANUEL, a 
-wisdom based system for the task domain of western philosophical thought.  
-IMMANUEL was supplied initially with 200 wisdom units which contained wisdom 
-about such elementary concepts as mind, matter, being, nothingness, and so 
-forth.  IMMANUEL was then allowed to run freely, guided by the heuristic 
-rules contained in its heterarchically organized meta wisdom base.  IMMANUEL 
-succeeded in rediscovering most of the important philosophical ideas developed 
-in western culture over the course of the last 25 centuries, including those 
+sufficient for some applications; wisdom is needed as well.  Accordingly,
+we have developed a new approach to artificial intelligence which we call
+"wisdom engineering".  As a test of our ideas, we have written IMMANUEL, a
+wisdom based system for the task domain of western philosophical thought.
+IMMANUEL was supplied initially with 200 wisdom units which contained wisdom
+about such elementary concepts as mind, matter, being, nothingness, and so
+forth.  IMMANUEL was then allowed to run freely, guided by the heuristic
+rules contained in its heterarchically organized meta wisdom base.  IMMANUEL
+succeeded in rediscovering most of the important philosophical ideas developed
+in western culture over the course of the last 25 centuries, including those

 underlying Plato's theory of government, Kant's metaphysics, Nietzsche's theory
 underlying Plato's theory of government, Kant's metaphysics, Nietzsche's theory

-of value, and Husserl's phenomenology.  In this seminar, we will describe 
-IMMANUEL's achievements and internal architecture.  We will also briefly 
+of value, and Husserl's phenomenology.  In this seminar, we will describe
+IMMANUEL's achievements and internal architecture.  We will also briefly

 discuss our recent efforts to apply wisdom engineering to oil exploration.
 %
 -- THE BATES MOTEL --
 discuss our recent efforts to apply wisdom engineering to oil exploration.
 %
 -- THE BATES MOTEL --


@@ -5321,7 +5294,7 @@ established as our planet's shape and position.  Our continuing struggle
 to understand how evolution happens (the "theory of evolution") does not
 cast our documentation of its occurrence -- the "fact of evolution" --
 into doubt.
 to understand how evolution happens (the "theory of evolution") does not
 cast our documentation of its occurrence -- the "fact of evolution" --
 into doubt.

-               -- Stephen Jay Gould, "The Verdict on Creationism", 
+               -- Stephen Jay Gould, "The Verdict on Creationism",

                   The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII No. 2.
 %
 ... when fits of creativity run strong, more than one programmer or writer
                   The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII No. 2.
 %
 ... when fits of creativity run strong, more than one programmer or writer


@@ -5375,7 +5348,7 @@ QED: A sheet of paper is a lazy dog.
 %
 1 + 1 = 3, for large values of 1.
 %
 %
 1 + 1 = 3, for large values of 1.
 %

-1.  If it doesn't smell like chilli, it probably isn't.
+1.  If it doesn't smell like chili, it probably isn't.

 2.  If you catch an exploding manhole cover, you can keep it.
 3.  Cabs driving on the sidewalk are not permitted to pick up passengers.
 4.  It's bad manners to lie down inside someone else's chalk body outline.
 2.  If you catch an exploding manhole cover, you can keep it.
 3.  Cabs driving on the sidewalk are not permitted to pick up passengers.
 4.  It's bad manners to lie down inside someone else's chalk body outline.


@@ -5520,7 +5493,7 @@ increase to more than $100,000,000 -- by which time it will be worth nothing.
 1/2 oz. gin
 1/2 oz. vodka
 1/2 oz. rum (preferably dark)
 1/2 oz. gin
 1/2 oz. vodka
 1/2 oz. rum (preferably dark)

-3/4 oz. tequilla
+3/4 oz. tequila

 1/2 oz. triple sec
 1/2 oz. orange juice
 3/4 oz. sour mix
 1/2 oz. triple sec
 1/2 oz. orange juice
 3/4 oz. sour mix


@@ -5785,7 +5758,7 @@ of turning around three times before lying down.
 A boy gets to be a man when a man is needed.
                -- John Steinbeck
 %
 A boy gets to be a man when a man is needed.
                -- John Steinbeck
 %

-A budget is just a method of worrying 
+A budget is just a method of worrying

 before you spend money, as well as afterward.
 %
 A bug in the code is worth two in the documentation.
 before you spend money, as well as afterward.
 %
 A bug in the code is worth two in the documentation.


@@ -5855,18 +5828,18 @@ A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.
 A certain amount of opposition is a help, not a hindrance.
 Kites rise against the wind, not with it.
 %
 A certain amount of opposition is a help, not a hindrance.
 Kites rise against the wind, not with it.
 %

-A certain monk had a habit of pestering the Grand Tortue (the only one who 
-had ever reached the Enlightenment 'Yond Enlightenment), by asking whether 
-various objects had Buddha-nature or not.  To such a question Tortue 
-invariably sat silent.  The monk had already asked about a bean, a lake, 
-and a moonlit night.  One day he brought to Tortue a piece of string, and 
-asked the same question.  In reply, the Grand Tortue grasped the loop 
-between his feet and, with a few simple manipulations, created a complex 
-string which he proferred wordlessly to the monk.  At that moment, the monk 
-was enlightened. 
-
-From then on, the monk did not bother Tortue.  Instead, he made string after 
-string by Tortue's method; and he passed the method on to his own disciples, 
+A certain monk had a habit of pestering the Grand Tortue (the only one who
+had ever reached the Enlightenment 'Yond Enlightenment), by asking whether
+various objects had Buddha-nature or not.  To such a question Tortue
+invariably sat silent.  The monk had already asked about a bean, a lake,
+and a moonlit night.  One day he brought to Tortue a piece of string, and
+asked the same question.  In reply, the Grand Tortue grasped the loop
+between his feet and, with a few simple manipulations, created a complex
+string which he proffered wordlessly to the monk.  At that moment, the monk
+was enlightened.
+
+From then on, the monk did not bother Tortue.  Instead, he made string after
+string by Tortue's method; and he passed the method on to his own disciples,

 who passed it on to theirs.
 %
 A certain old cat had made his home in the alley behind Gabe's bar for some
 who passed it on to theirs.
 %
 A certain old cat had made his home in the alley behind Gabe's bar for some


@@ -5885,10 +5858,10 @@ go on to the kitty afterworld complete.
 the law -- no retailing spirits after 2:00 AM."
 %
 A Chicago salesman was about to check into a St. Louis hotel when he noticed
 the law -- no retailing spirits after 2:00 AM."
 %
 A Chicago salesman was about to check into a St. Louis hotel when he noticed

-a very charming woman staring admiringly at him.  He walked over and spoke 
+a very charming woman staring admiringly at him.  He walked over and spoke

 with her for a few minutes, then returned to the front desk, where they checked
 in as Mr. and Mrs.
 with her for a few minutes, then returned to the front desk, where they checked
 in as Mr. and Mrs.

-       After a very pleasurable three-day stay, the man approached the front 
+       After a very pleasurable three-day stay, the man approached the front

 desk and told the clerk he was checking out.  In a few minutes, he was handed
 a bill for $2500.
        "There must be some mistake," the salesman said.  "I've been here for
 desk and told the clerk he was checking out.  In a few minutes, he was handed
 a bill for $2500.
        "There must be some mistake," the salesman said.  "I've been here for


@@ -5910,7 +5883,7 @@ Saturday and is going to do on Monday.
 A chronic disposition to inquiry
 deprives domestic felines of vital qualities.
 %
 A chronic disposition to inquiry
 deprives domestic felines of vital qualities.
 %

-A chubby man with a white beard and a red suit 
+A chubby man with a white beard and a red suit

 will approach you soon.  Avoid him.  He's a Commie.
 %
 A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but
 will approach you soon.  Avoid him.  He's a Commie.
 %
 A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but


@@ -5960,7 +5933,7 @@ A CODE OF ETHICAL BEHAVIOR FOR PATIENTS:
        It is presumptuous to assume that such profound matters could be
        explained in terms that you would understand.
 
        It is presumptuous to assume that such profound matters could be
        explained in terms that you would understand.
 

-6. SUBMIT TO NOVEL EXPERIMANTAL TREATMENT READILY.
+6. SUBMIT TO NOVEL EXPERIMENTAL TREATMENT READILY.

        Though the surgery may not benefit you directly, the resulting
        research paper will surely be of widespread interest.
 %
        Though the surgery may not benefit you directly, the resulting
        research paper will surely be of widespread interest.
 %


@@ -6011,7 +5984,7 @@ A compliment is something like a kiss through a veil.
                -- Joseph Campbell
 %
 A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention,
                -- Joseph Campbell
 %
 A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention,

-with the possible exceptions of handguns and Tequilla.
+with the possible exceptions of handguns and Tequila.

        -- Mitch Ratcliffe
 %
 A computer salesman visits a company president for the purpose of selling
        -- Mitch Ratcliffe
 %
 A computer salesman visits a company president for the purpose of selling


@@ -6142,7 +6115,7 @@ A Difficulty for Every Solution.
 A diplomat is a man who can convince his
 wife she'd look stout in a fur coat.
 %
 A diplomat is a man who can convince his
 wife she'd look stout in a fur coat.
 %

-A diplomat is a man who can tell you to 
+A diplomat is a man who can tell you to

 go to hell and make the trip sound pleasurable.
                -- Samuel Clemens
 %
 go to hell and make the trip sound pleasurable.
                -- Samuel Clemens
 %


@@ -6245,9 +6218,9 @@ He was something of an animist, however, and felt that the car really ought
 to have a name.  This presented a problem, as he was not sure if the name
 should be masculine or feminine.
        After considerable thought, he settled on an naming the car either
 to have a name.  This presented a problem, as he was not sure if the name
 should be masculine or feminine.
        After considerable thought, he settled on an naming the car either

-Belchazar or Beaumadine, but remained in a quandry about the final choice.
+Belchazar or Beaumadine, but remained in a quandary about the final choice.

        "Is a Nissan male or female?" he began asking his friends.  Most of
        "Is a Nissan male or female?" he began asking his friends.  Most of

-them looked at him pecularly, mumbled things about urgent appointments, and
+them looked at him peculiarly, mumbled things about urgent appointments, and

 went on their way rather quickly.
        He finally broached the question to a lady he knew who held a black
 belt in judo.  She thought for a moment and answered "Feminine."
 went on their way rather quickly.
        He finally broached the question to a lady he knew who held a black
 belt in judo.  She thought for a moment and answered "Feminine."


@@ -6361,7 +6334,7 @@ assembled guys had the job of assuring that the gangster's horse would win.
 They were to reconvene the day before the race to tell the gangster how they
 each propose to ensure a win.  When they reconvened the gangster started with
 the engineer:
 They were to reconvene the day before the race to tell the gangster how they
 each propose to ensure a win.  When they reconvened the gangster started with
 the engineer:

-       
+

 Gangster: OK, Mr. engineer, what have you got?
 Engineer: Well, I've invented a way to weave metallic threads into the saddle
          blanket so that they will act as the plates of a battery and provide
 Gangster: OK, Mr. engineer, what have you got?
 Engineer: Well, I've invented a way to weave metallic threads into the saddle
          blanket so that they will act as the plates of a battery and provide


@@ -6371,7 +6344,7 @@ Chemist:  I've synthesized a powerful stimulant that dissolves
          into simple blood sugars after ten minutes and therefore
          cannot be detected in post-race tests.
 G:       Excellent, excellent!  But I want to hear from the physicist before
          into simple blood sugars after ten minutes and therefore
          cannot be detected in post-race tests.
 G:       Excellent, excellent!  But I want to hear from the physicist before

-         I decide what to do.  Physicist?  
+         I decide what to do.  Physicist?

 
 Physicist: Well, first consider a spherical horse in simple harmonic motion...
 %
 
 Physicist: Well, first consider a spherical horse in simple harmonic motion...
 %


@@ -6535,10 +6508,6 @@ her cluckings, and are regularly brooded at night beneath her wings.
 %
 A hermit is a deserter from the army of humanity.
 %
 %
 A hermit is a deserter from the army of humanity.
 %

-A highly intelligent man should take a primitive woman.  Imagine if on top
-of everything else, I had a woman who interfered with my work.
-               -- Adolf Hitler
-%

 A holding company is a thing where you hand
 an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.
 %
 A holding company is a thing where you hand
 an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.
 %


@@ -6591,7 +6560,7 @@ M is for Maud who was swept out to sea, N is for Nevil who died of enui.
 O is for Olive, run through with an awl, P is for Prue, trampled flat in a brawl
 Q is for Quinton who sank in a mire, R is for Rhoda, consumed by a fire.
 S is for Susan who parished of fits, T is for Titas who flew into bits.
 O is for Olive, run through with an awl, P is for Prue, trampled flat in a brawl
 Q is for Quinton who sank in a mire, R is for Rhoda, consumed by a fire.
 S is for Susan who parished of fits, T is for Titas who flew into bits.

-U is for Una  who slipped down a drain, V is for Victor, squashed under a train.
+U is for Una who slipped down a drain, V is for Victor, squashed under a train.

 W is for Winie, embedded in ice, X is for Xercies, devoured by mice.
 Y is for Yoric whose head was bashed in, Z is for Zilla who drank too much gin.
                -- Edward Gorey "The Gastly Crumb Tines"
 W is for Winie, embedded in ice, X is for Xercies, devoured by mice.
 Y is for Yoric whose head was bashed in, Z is for Zilla who drank too much gin.
                -- Edward Gorey "The Gastly Crumb Tines"


@@ -6655,7 +6624,7 @@ A kind of Batman of contemporary letters.
 %
 A king's castle is his home.
 %
 %
 A king's castle is his home.
 %

-A kiss is a course of procedure, cunningly devised, 
+A kiss is a course of procedure, cunningly devised,

 for the mutual stoppage of speech at a moment when
 words are superfluous.
 %
 for the mutual stoppage of speech at a moment when
 words are superfluous.
 %


@@ -6972,7 +6941,7 @@ some basic instructions, they agreed to separate and rendezvous later.  Before
 he left, he warned her if she should fell a deer to be wary of hunters who
 might beat her to the carcass and claim the kill.  If that happened, he told
 her, she should fire her gun three times into the air and he would come to
 he left, he warned her if she should fell a deer to be wary of hunters who
 might beat her to the carcass and claim the kill.  If that happened, he told
 her, she should fire her gun three times into the air and he would come to

-her aid.  
+her aid.

        Shortly after they separated, he heard a single shot, followed quickly
 by the agreed upon signal.  Running to the scene, he found his wife standing
 in a small clearing with a very nervous man staring down her gun barrel.
        Shortly after they separated, he heard a single shot, followed quickly
 by the agreed upon signal.  Running to the scene, he found his wife standing
 in a small clearing with a very nervous man staring down her gun barrel.


@@ -7087,7 +7056,7 @@ A memorandum is written not to inform the reader,
 but to protect the writer.
                -- Dean Acheson
 %
 but to protect the writer.
                -- Dean Acheson
 %

-A method of solution is perfect if we can forsee from the start,
+A method of solution is perfect if we can foresee from the start,

 and even prove, that following that method we shall attain our aim.
                -- Leibniz
 %
 and even prove, that following that method we shall attain our aim.
                -- Leibniz
 %


@@ -7195,9 +7164,9 @@ now has no excuse for further procrastination.
 A new taste had been acquired and a new appetite began to grow.  The time
 had long since arrived to crush the technical intelligentsia, which had
 come to regard itself as too irreplaceable and had not gotten used to
 A new taste had been acquired and a new appetite began to grow.  The time
 had long since arrived to crush the technical intelligentsia, which had
 come to regard itself as too irreplaceable and had not gotten used to

-catching instructions on the wing.  In other words, we never did trust 
+catching instructions on the wing.  In other words, we never did trust

 the engineers - and from the very first years of the Revolution we saw to
 the engineers - and from the very first years of the Revolution we saw to

-it that those lackeys and servants of former capitalist bosses were kept 
+it that those lackeys and servants of former capitalist bosses were kept

 in line by healthy suspicion and surveillance by the workers.
                -- Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn, "The Gulag Archipelago"
 %
 in line by healthy suspicion and surveillance by the workers.
                -- Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn, "The Gulag Archipelago"
 %


@@ -7225,7 +7194,7 @@ to his death.
        "DUMB YANKEE."
 %
 A New Yorker was driving through Berkeley when he saw a big crowd gathered
        "DUMB YANKEE."
 %
 A New Yorker was driving through Berkeley when he saw a big crowd gathered

-by the side of the street.  Curiousity got the better of him and he leaned
+by the side of the street.  Curiosity got the better of him and he leaned

 out of his window to ask an onlooker what was going on.  The fellow explained
 that a protestor against the U.S. position in South America had doused
 himself with gasoline and set himself on fire.  "That's terrible," gasped
 out of his window to ask an onlooker what was going on.  The fellow explained
 that a protestor against the U.S. position in South America had doused
 himself with gasoline and set himself on fire.  "That's terrible," gasped


@@ -7350,7 +7319,7 @@ gets out and goes into the office.
        "I need some four-by-two's," he says.
        "You must mean two-by-four's" replies the clerk.
        The man scratches his head.  "Wait a minute," he says, "I'll go
        "I need some four-by-two's," he says.
        "You must mean two-by-four's" replies the clerk.
        The man scratches his head.  "Wait a minute," he says, "I'll go

-check." 
+check."

        Back, after an animated conversation with the other occupants of the
 truck, he reassures the clerk, that, yes, in fact, two-by-fours would be
 acceptable.
        Back, after an animated conversation with the other occupants of the
 truck, he reassures the clerk, that, yes, in fact, two-by-fours would be
 acceptable.


@@ -7363,7 +7332,7 @@ conversation.  The guy comes back into the office.  "A long time," he says,
 %
 A pig is a jolly companion,
 Boar, sow, barrow, or gilt --
 %
 A pig is a jolly companion,
 Boar, sow, barrow, or gilt --

-A pig is a pal, who'll boost your morale, 
+A pig is a pal, who'll boost your morale,

 Though mountains may topple and tilt.
 When they've blackballed, bamboozled, and burned you,
 When they've turned on you, Tory and Whig,
 Though mountains may topple and tilt.
 When they've blackballed, bamboozled, and burned you,
 When they've turned on you, Tory and Whig,


@@ -7377,7 +7346,7 @@ and a fool something to stick in his mouth.
 %
 A place for everything and everything in its place.
                -- Isabella Mary Beeton, "The Book of Household Management"
 %
 A place for everything and everything in its place.
                -- Isabella Mary Beeton, "The Book of Household Management"

- 
+

        [Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
         referring to memory management system services.]
 %
        [Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
         referring to memory management system services.]
 %


@@ -7431,7 +7400,7 @@ of yours to press against my heart.
 %
 A pretty woman can do anything; an ugly woman must do everything.
 %
 %
 A pretty woman can do anything; an ugly woman must do everything.
 %

-A priest advised Voltaire on his death bed to renounce the devil. 
+A priest advised Voltaire on his death bed to renounce the devil.

 Replied Voltaire, "This is no time to make new enemies."
 %
 A priest asked: What is Fate, Master?
 Replied Voltaire, "This is no time to make new enemies."
 %
 A priest asked: What is Fate, Master?


@@ -7466,9 +7435,9 @@ A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
 %
 A programmer is a person who passes as an exacting expert on the basis of
 being able to turn out, after innumerable punching, an infinite series of
 %
 A programmer is a person who passes as an exacting expert on the basis of
 being able to turn out, after innumerable punching, an infinite series of

-incomprehensible answers calculated with micrometric precisions from vague 
-assumptions based on debatable figures taken from inconclusive documents 
-and carried out on instruments of problematical accuracy by persons of 
+incomprehensible answers calculated with micrometric precisions from vague
+assumptions based on debatable figures taken from inconclusive documents
+and carried out on instruments of problematical accuracy by persons of

 dubious reliability and questionable mentality for the avowed purpose of
 annoying and confounding a hopelessly defenseless department that was
 unfortunate enough to ask for the information in the first place.
 dubious reliability and questionable mentality for the avowed purpose of
 annoying and confounding a hopelessly defenseless department that was
 unfortunate enough to ask for the information in the first place.


@@ -7578,7 +7547,7 @@ A robin redbreast in a cage
 Puts all Heaven in a rage.
                -- Blake
 %
 Puts all Heaven in a rage.
                -- Blake
 %

-A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single 
+A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single

 man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.
                -- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
 %
 man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.
                -- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
 %


@@ -7889,19 +7858,19 @@ fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first.
 A traveling salesman was driving past a farm when he saw a pig with three
 wooden legs executing a magnificent series of backflips and cartwheels.
 Intrigued, he drove up to the farmhouse, where he found an old farmer
 A traveling salesman was driving past a farm when he saw a pig with three
 wooden legs executing a magnificent series of backflips and cartwheels.
 Intrigued, he drove up to the farmhouse, where he found an old farmer

-sitting in the yard watching the pig.  
-       "That's quite a pig you have there, sir" said the salesman. 
+sitting in the yard watching the pig.
+       "That's quite a pig you have there, sir" said the salesman.

        "Sure is, son," the farmer replied.  "Why, two years ago, my daughter
 was swimming in the lake and bumped her head and damned near drowned, but that
 pig swam out and dragged her back to shore."
        "Amazing!"  the salesman exclaimed.
        "And that's not the only thing.  Last fall I was cuttin' wood up on
        "Sure is, son," the farmer replied.  "Why, two years ago, my daughter
 was swimming in the lake and bumped her head and damned near drowned, but that
 pig swam out and dragged her back to shore."
        "Amazing!"  the salesman exclaimed.
        "And that's not the only thing.  Last fall I was cuttin' wood up on

-the north forty when a tree fell on me.  Pinned me to the ground, it did.  
+the north forty when a tree fell on me.  Pinned me to the ground, it did.

 That pig run up and wiggled underneath that tree and lifted it off of me.
 Saved my life."
        "Fantastic!  the salesman said.  But tell me, how come the pig has
 three wooden legs?"
 That pig run up and wiggled underneath that tree and lifted it off of me.
 Saved my life."
        "Fantastic!  the salesman said.  But tell me, how come the pig has
 three wooden legs?"

-       The farmer stared at the newcomer in amazement.  "Mister, when you 
+       The farmer stared at the newcomer in amazement.  "Mister, when you

 got an amazin' pig like that, you don't eat him all at once."
 %
 A true artist will let his wife starve, his children go barefoot, his mother
 got an amazin' pig like that, you don't eat him all at once."
 %
 A true artist will let his wife starve, his children go barefoot, his mother


@@ -7947,7 +7916,7 @@ the same mistake twice without getting nervous.
 A well-known friend is a treasure.
 %
 A well-used door needs no oil on its hinges.
 A well-known friend is a treasure.
 %
 A well-used door needs no oil on its hinges.

-A swift-flowing steam does no grow stagnant.
+A swift-flowing stream does not grow stagnant.

 Neither sound nor thoughts can travel through a vacuum.
 Software rots if not used.
 
 Neither sound nor thoughts can travel through a vacuum.
 Software rots if not used.
 


@@ -7964,7 +7933,7 @@ A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there
 A wise man can see more from a mountain top
 than a fool can from the bottom of a well.
 %
 A wise man can see more from a mountain top
 than a fool can from the bottom of a well.
 %

-A wise man can see more from the bottom 
+A wise man can see more from the bottom

 of a well than a fool can from a mountain top.
 %
 A wise person makes his own decisions, a weak one obeys public opinion.
 of a well than a fool can from a mountain top.
 %
 A wise person makes his own decisions, a weak one obeys public opinion.


@@ -8015,10 +7984,6 @@ A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to
 endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy.
                -- Nietzsche
 %
 endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy.
                -- Nietzsche
 %

-A woman must be a cute, cuddly, naive little thing -- tender, sweet,
-and stupid.
-               -- Adolf Hitler
-%

 A woman of generous character will sacrifice her life a thousand times
 over for her lover, but will break with him for ever over a question of
 pride -- for the opening or the shutting of a door.
 A woman of generous character will sacrifice her life a thousand times
 over for her lover, but will break with him for ever over a question of
 pride -- for the opening or the shutting of a door.


@@ -8189,11 +8154,11 @@ ABSCOND:
        To be unexpectedly called away to the bedside
        of a dying relative and miss the return train.
 %
        To be unexpectedly called away to the bedside
        of a dying relative and miss the return train.
 %

-abscond, v:  
+abscond, v:

        To be unexpectedly called away to the bedside of a dying relative
        To be unexpectedly called away to the bedside of a dying relative

-       and miss the return train. 
+       and miss the return train.

 %
 %

-Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases 
+Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases

 great ones, as the wind blows out candles and fans fires.
                -- La Rochefoucauld
 %
 great ones, as the wind blows out candles and fans fires.
                -- La Rochefoucauld
 %


@@ -8469,7 +8434,7 @@ intelligence long enough to get money from it.
 %
 Advertising Rule:
        In writing a patent-medicine advertisement, first convince the
 %
 Advertising Rule:
        In writing a patent-medicine advertisement, first convince the

-       reader that he has the disease he is reading about; secondly, 
+       reader that he has the disease he is reading about; secondly,

        that it is curable.
 %
 Advice from an old carpenter: measure twice, saw once.
        that it is curable.
 %
 Advice from an old carpenter: measure twice, saw once.


@@ -8492,7 +8457,7 @@ Fuchsia:          Fast
 Gardenia:              Secret, untold love
 Honeysuckle:           Bonds of love
 Ivy:                   Friendship, fidelity, marriage
 Gardenia:              Secret, untold love
 Honeysuckle:           Bonds of love
 Ivy:                   Friendship, fidelity, marriage

-Jasmine:               Amiablity, transports of joy, sensuality
+Jasmine:               Amiability, transports of joy, sensuality

 Leaves (dead):         Melancholy
 Lilac:                 Youthful innocence
 Lilly:                 Purity, sweetness
 Leaves (dead):         Melancholy
 Lilac:                 Youthful innocence
 Lilly:                 Purity, sweetness


@@ -8591,10 +8556,10 @@ right to make his laws?"
 his own."
        It was so granted.
 %
 his own."
        It was so granted.
 %

-After his legs had been broken in an accident, Mr. Miller sued for damages, 
-claming that he was crippled and would have to spend the rest of his life
+After his legs had been broken in an accident, Mr. Miller sued for damages,
+claiming that he was crippled and would have to spend the rest of his life

 in a wheelchair.  Although the insurance-company doctor testified that his
 in a wheelchair.  Although the insurance-company doctor testified that his

-bones had healed properly and that he was fully capable  of walking, the
+bones had healed properly and that he was fully capable of walking, the

 judge decided for the plaintiff and awarded him $500,000.
        When he was wheeled into the insurance office to collect his check,
 Miller was confronted by several executives.  "You're not getting away with
 judge decided for the plaintiff and awarded him $500,000.
        When he was wheeled into the insurance office to collect his check,
 Miller was confronted by several executives.  "You're not getting away with


@@ -8646,7 +8611,7 @@ charge, but was talked out of this by Millikan.
                -- Steven Weinberg, "The Discovery of Subatomic Particles"
 
 Robert Millikan is generally credited with making the first really
                -- Steven Weinberg, "The Discovery of Subatomic Particles"
 
 Robert Millikan is generally credited with making the first really

-precise measurement of the charge on an electron and was awarded the 
+precise measurement of the charge on an electron and was awarded the

 Nobel Prize in 1923.
 %
 After two or three weeks of this madness, you begin to feel As One with
 Nobel Prize in 1923.
 %
 After two or three weeks of this madness, you begin to feel As One with


@@ -8704,7 +8669,7 @@ Agnes' Law:
 %
 Agree with them now, it will save so much time.
 %
 %
 Agree with them now, it will save so much time.
 %

-Ah, but a man's grasp should exceed his reach, 
+Ah, but a man's grasp should exceed his reach,

 Or what's a heaven for ?
                -- Robert Browning, "Andrea del Sarto"
 %
 Or what's a heaven for ?
                -- Robert Browning, "Andrea del Sarto"
 %


@@ -8874,7 +8839,7 @@ barely presentable.
                -- Fran Lebowitz, "Metropolitan Life"
 %
 All Gods were immortal.
                -- Fran Lebowitz, "Metropolitan Life"
 %
 All Gods were immortal.

-               -- Stanislaw J. Lem, "Unkempt Thoughts"
+               -- Stanislaw J. Lec, "Unkempt Thoughts"

 %
 All great discoveries are made by mistake.
                -- Young
 %
 All great discoveries are made by mistake.
                -- Young


@@ -8898,7 +8863,7 @@ ya don't go lookin' for rutabagas.
                -- Kingfish
 %
 All I know is what the words know, and dead things, and that
                -- Kingfish
 %
 All I know is what the words know, and dead things, and that

-makes a handsome little sum, with a beginning and a middle and 
+makes a handsome little sum, with a beginning and a middle and

 an end, as in the well-built phrase and the long sonata of the dead.
                -- Samuel Beckett
 %
 an end, as in the well-built phrase and the long sonata of the dead.
                -- Samuel Beckett
 %


@@ -9045,7 +9010,7 @@ All that glitters is not gold; all that wander are not lost.
 All that is gold does not glitter,
 Not all those who wander are lost;
 The old that is strong does not wither,
 All that is gold does not glitter,
 Not all those who wander are lost;
 The old that is strong does not wither,

-Deep roots are not reached by the frost. 
+Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

 From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
 A light from the shadows shall spring;
 Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
 From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
 A light from the shadows shall spring;
 Renewed shall be blade that was broken,


@@ -9205,7 +9170,7 @@ Always draw your curves, then plot your reading.
 %
 Always leave room to add an explanation if it doesn't work out.
 %
 %
 Always leave room to add an explanation if it doesn't work out.
 %

-Always run from a knife and rush a gun.        
+Always run from a knife and rush a gun.

                -- Jimmy Hoffa
 %
 Always store beer in a dark place.
                -- Jimmy Hoffa
 %
 Always store beer in a dark place.


@@ -9225,7 +9190,7 @@ AMAZING BUT TRUE...
        end across the Sahara Desert, the smell would be absolutely awful.
 %
 AMAZING BUT TRUE...
        end across the Sahara Desert, the smell would be absolutely awful.
 %
 AMAZING BUT TRUE...

-       There is so much sand in Northern Africa that if it 
+       There is so much sand in Northern Africa that if it

        were spread out it would completely cover the Sahara Desert.
 %
 AMBIDEXTROUS:
        were spread out it would completely cover the Sahara Desert.
 %
 AMBIDEXTROUS:


@@ -9350,7 +9315,7 @@ An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
 An algorithm must be seen to be believed.
                -- D.E. Knuth
 %
 An algorithm must be seen to be believed.
                -- D.E. Knuth
 %

-An ambassador is an honest man sent abroad 
+An ambassador is an honest man sent abroad

 to lie and intrigue for the benefit of his country.
                -- Sir Henry Wotton, 1568-1639
 %
 to lie and intrigue for the benefit of his country.
                -- Sir Henry Wotton, 1568-1639
 %


@@ -9446,8 +9411,8 @@ An editor is one who separates the wheat from the chaff and prints the chaff.
 %
 An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
 %
 %
 An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
 %

-An efficient and a successful administration manifests 
-itself equally in small as in great matters.  
+An efficient and a successful administration manifests
+itself equally in small as in great matters.

                -- W. Churchill
 %
 An egghead is one who stands firmly on both feet,
                -- W. Churchill
 %
 An egghead is one who stands firmly on both feet,


@@ -9705,7 +9670,7 @@ And he climbed with the lad up the Eiffelberg Tower.  "This," cried the Mayor,
 to come to the aid of their country!" he said.  "We've GOT to make noises in
 greater amounts!  So, open your mouth, lad!  For every voice counts!"  Thus he
 spoke as he climbed.  When they got to the top, the lad cleared his throat and
 to come to the aid of their country!" he said.  "We've GOT to make noises in
 greater amounts!  So, open your mouth, lad!  For every voice counts!"  Thus he
 spoke as he climbed.  When they got to the top, the lad cleared his throat and

-he shouted out, "YOPP!" 
+he shouted out, "YOPP!"

        And that Yopp...  That one last small, extra Yopp put it over!
 Finally, at last!  From the speck on that clover their voices were heard!
 They rang out clear and clean.  And they elephant smiled.  "Do you see what
        And that Yopp...  That one last small, extra Yopp put it over!
 Finally, at last!  From the speck on that clover their voices were heard!
 They rang out clear and clean.  And they elephant smiled.  "Do you see what


@@ -9971,16 +9936,16 @@ Modern fairy tale: Oswald, acting alone, shot Kennedy.
 %
 Anti-trust laws should be approached with exactly that attitude.
 %
 %
 Anti-trust laws should be approached with exactly that attitude.
 %

-Antonio Antonio 
+Antonio Antonio

 Was tired of living alonio
 He thought he would woo                        Antonio Antonio
 Was tired of living alonio
 He thought he would woo                        Antonio Antonio

-Miss Lucamy Lu,                                Rode of on his polo ponio
+Miss Lucamy Lu,                                Rode off on his polo ponio

 Miss Lucamy Lucy Molonio.              And found the maid
                                        In a bowery shade,
                                        Sitting and knitting alonio.
 Antonio Antonio
 Said if you will be my ownio
 Miss Lucamy Lucy Molonio.              And found the maid
                                        In a bowery shade,
                                        Sitting and knitting alonio.
 Antonio Antonio
 Said if you will be my ownio

-I'll love tou true                     Oh nonio Antonio
+I'll love you true                     Oh nonio Antonio

 And buy for you                                You're far too bleak and bonio
 An icery creamry conio.                        And all that I wish
                                        You singular fish
 And buy for you                                You're far too bleak and bonio
 An icery creamry conio.                        And all that I wish
                                        You singular fish


@@ -9989,7 +9954,7 @@ Antonio Antonio
 Uttered a dismal moanio
 And went off and hid
 Or I'm told that he did
 Uttered a dismal moanio
 And went off and hid
 Or I'm told that he did

-In the Antartical Zonio.
+in the Antarctical Zonio.

 %
 ANTONYM:
        The opposite of the word you're trying to think of.
 %
 ANTONYM:
        The opposite of the word you're trying to think of.


@@ -10148,7 +10113,7 @@ bathe and not make messes in the house.
                -- Lazarus Long
 %
 Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat.
                -- Lazarus Long
 %
 Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat.

-               -- R. Heinlein 
+               -- R. Heinlein

 %
 Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
                -- Samuel Goldwyn
 %
 Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
                -- Samuel Goldwyn


@@ -10348,7 +10313,7 @@ say in those awkward situations?  Worry no more...
        Wipe that smile off your face.
        I don't believe you.
        How many times have I told you to be careful?
        Wipe that smile off your face.
        I don't believe you.
        How many times have I told you to be careful?

-       Just beacuse.
+       Just because.

 %
 Are you a parent?  Do you sometimes find yourself unsure as to what to
 say in those awkward situations?  Worry no more...
 %
 Are you a parent?  Do you sometimes find yourself unsure as to what to
 say in those awkward situations?  Worry no more...


@@ -10540,7 +10505,7 @@ As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
 As a professional humorist, I often get letters from readers who are
 interested in the basic nature of humor.  "What kind of a sick perverted
 disgusting person are you," these letters typically ask, "that you make
 As a professional humorist, I often get letters from readers who are
 interested in the basic nature of humor.  "What kind of a sick perverted
 disgusting person are you," these letters typically ask, "that you make

-jokes about setting fire to a goat?" 
+jokes about setting fire to a goat?"

                -- Dave Barry
 %
 As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and
                -- Dave Barry
 %
 As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and


@@ -10589,7 +10554,7 @@ As for the women, though we scorn and flout 'em,
 We may live with, but cannot live without 'em.
                -- Frederic Reynolds
 %
 We may live with, but cannot live without 'em.
                -- Frederic Reynolds
 %

-As Gen. de Gaulle occassionally acknowledges America to be the daughter
+As Gen. de Gaulle occasionally acknowledges America to be the daughter

 of Europe, so I am pleased to come to Yale, the daughter of Harvard.
                -- J.F. Kennedy
 %
 of Europe, so I am pleased to come to Yale, the daughter of Harvard.
                -- J.F. Kennedy
 %


@@ -10606,7 +10571,7 @@ years, left the sect he was associated with.  The problem is that once the
 untrained mind has made a formal commitment to a religious philosophy --
 and it does not matter whether that philosophy is generally reasonable and
 high-minded or utterly bizarre and irrational -- the powers of reason are
 untrained mind has made a formal commitment to a religious philosophy --
 and it does not matter whether that philosophy is generally reasonable and
 high-minded or utterly bizarre and irrational -- the powers of reason are

-suprisingly ineffective in changing the believer's mind.
+surprisingly ineffective in changing the believer's mind.

                -- Steve Allen
 %
 As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very
                -- Steve Allen
 %
 As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very


@@ -10679,8 +10644,8 @@ talk like that.
 %
 As long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong?
 %
 %
 As long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong?
 %

-As long as there are ill-defined goals, bizarre bugs, and unrealistic 
-schedules, there will be Real Programmers willing to jump in and Solve 
+As long as there are ill-defined goals, bizarre bugs, and unrealistic
+schedules, there will be Real Programmers willing to jump in and Solve

 The Problem, saving the documentation for later.
 %
 As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination.
 The Problem, saving the documentation for later.
 %
 As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination.


@@ -10808,7 +10773,7 @@ or putatively less buggy.  The replacement of a working component by a new
 version requires the same systematic testing procedure that adding a new
 component does, although it should require less time, for more complete and
 efficient test cases will usually be available.
 version requires the same systematic testing procedure that adding a new
 component does, although it should require less time, for more complete and
 efficient test cases will usually be available.

-               -- Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month" 
+               -- Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month"

 %
 As to Jesus of Nazareth... I think the system of Morals and his Religion,
 as he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see;
 %
 As to Jesus of Nazareth... I think the system of Morals and his Religion,
 as he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see;


@@ -11055,7 +11020,7 @@ Avoid Quiet and Placid persons unless you are in Need of Sleep.
 Avoid reality at all costs.
 %
 Avoid revolution or expect to get shot.  Mother and I will grieve, but
 Avoid reality at all costs.
 %
 Avoid revolution or expect to get shot.  Mother and I will grieve, but

-we will gladly buy a dinner for the National Guardsman who shot you. 
+we will gladly buy a dinner for the National Guardsman who shot you.

                -- Dr. Paul Williamson, father of a Kent State student
 %
 Avoid strange women and temporary variables.
                -- Dr. Paul Williamson, father of a Kent State student
 %
 Avoid strange women and temporary variables.


@@ -11092,7 +11057,7 @@ Business before pleasure."
 Back in the early 60's, touch tone phones only had 10 buttons.  Some
 military versions had 16, while the 12 button jobs were used only by people
 who had "diva" (digital inquiry, voice answerback) systems -- mainly banks.
 Back in the early 60's, touch tone phones only had 10 buttons.  Some
 military versions had 16, while the 12 button jobs were used only by people
 who had "diva" (digital inquiry, voice answerback) systems -- mainly banks.

-Since in those days, only Western Electric  made "data sets" (modems) the
+Since in those days, only Western Electric made "data sets" (modems) the

 problems of terminology were all Bell System.  We used to struggle with
 written descriptions of dial pads that were unfamiliar to most people
 (most phones were rotary then.)  Partly in jest, some AT&T engineering
 problems of terminology were all Bell System.  We used to struggle with
 written descriptions of dial pads that were unfamiliar to most people
 (most phones were rotary then.)  Partly in jest, some AT&T engineering


@@ -11101,7 +11066,7 @@ the good old days) made up the term "octalthorpe" (note spelling) to denote
 the "pound sign."  Presumably because it has 8 points sticking out.  It
 never really caught on.
 %
 the "pound sign."  Presumably because it has 8 points sticking out.  It
 never really caught on.
 %

-Back when I was a boy, it was 40 miles to everywhere, 
+Back when I was a boy, it was 40 miles to everywhere,

 uphill both ways and it was always snowing.
 %
 BACKWARD CONDITIONING:
 uphill both ways and it was always snowing.
 %
 BACKWARD CONDITIONING:


@@ -11117,7 +11082,7 @@ whereas good men eat and drink that they may live.
 %
 Bagdikian's Observation:
        Trying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American newspaper
 %
 Bagdikian's Observation:
        Trying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American newspaper

-       is like trying to play Bach's "St. Matthew Passion" on a ukelele.
+       is like trying to play Bach's "St. Matthew Passion" on a ukulele.

 %
 Bahdges?  We don't need no stinkin' bahdges!
                -- "The Treasure of Sierra Madre"
 %
 Bahdges?  We don't need no stinkin' bahdges!
                -- "The Treasure of Sierra Madre"


@@ -11378,7 +11343,7 @@ Behind every great computer sits a skinny little geek.
 Behind every successful man you'll find a woman with nothing to wear.
 %
 Behold the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket" -- which
 Behind every successful man you'll find a woman with nothing to wear.
 %
 Behold the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket" -- which

-is but a manner of saying,  "Scatter your money and  your attention"; but
+is but a manner of saying, "Scatter your money and your attention"; but

 the wise man saith, "Put all your eggs in the one basket and -- watch that
 basket!"
                -- Mark Twain
 the wise man saith, "Put all your eggs in the one basket and -- watch that
 basket!"
                -- Mark Twain


@@ -11430,7 +11395,7 @@ different from being stoned on gin.
 %
 Being the #2 man in the Justice Department under Ed Meese is akin to
 standing next to a lamp post infested with pigeons.
 %
 Being the #2 man in the Justice Department under Ed Meese is akin to
 standing next to a lamp post infested with pigeons.

-               -- unamed Justice Department official
+               -- unnamed Justice Department official

 %
 Being ugly isn't illegal.  Yet.
 %
 %
 Being ugly isn't illegal.  Yet.
 %


@@ -11474,7 +11439,7 @@ after they got done, you wanted to be transferred here. Why?"
        "The test or the room?"
        "The tests or the room?  Vell, nah, about them I can't complain."
        "The nurses? The food?" asked Fats, but Bernard shook his head no.
        "The test or the room?"
        "The tests or the room?  Vell, nah, about them I can't complain."
        "The nurses? The food?" asked Fats, but Bernard shook his head no.

-Fats laughed and said, "Listen , Bernie, you went to the MBH, they did this
+Fats laughed and said, "Listen, Bernie, you went to the MBH, they did this

 great workup, and when I asked you shy you came to the House of God, all you
 tell me is, 'Nah, I can't complain.'  So why did you come here?  Why, Bernie,
 why?"
 great workup, and when I asked you shy you came to the House of God, all you
 tell me is, 'Nah, I can't complain.'  So why did you come here?  Why, Bernie,
 why?"


@@ -11934,7 +11899,7 @@ Multics, adj:
        brain-damaged is bad; it also implies it is unusable.
 %
 Brandy Davis, an outfielder and teammate of mine with the Pittsburgh Pirates,
        brain-damaged is bad; it also implies it is unusable.
 %
 Brandy Davis, an outfielder and teammate of mine with the Pittsburgh Pirates,

-is my choice for team captain.  Cincinnatti was beating us 3-1, and I led
+is my choice for team captain.  Cincinnati was beating us 3-1, and I led

 off the bottom of the eighth with a walk.  The next hitter banged a hard
 single to right field.  Feeling the wind at my back, I rounded second and
 kept going, sliding safely into third base.
 off the bottom of the eighth with a walk.  The next hitter banged a hard
 single to right field.  Feeling the wind at my back, I rounded second and
 kept going, sliding safely into third base.


@@ -12130,9 +12095,9 @@ Business will be either better or worse.
 %
 ...but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be
 proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge
 %
 ...but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be
 proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge

-to mankind.  The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women 
-were convicted of witchcraft and executed was without a flaw; it is still 
-unimpeachable.  The judges' decisions based on it were sound in logic and 
+to mankind.  The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women
+were convicted of witchcraft and executed was without a flaw; it is still
+unimpeachable.  The judges' decisions based on it were sound in logic and

 in law.  Nothing in any existing court was ever more thoroughly proved than
 the charges of witchcraft and sorcery for which so many suffered death.  If
 there were no witches, human testimony and human reason are alike destitute
 in law.  Nothing in any existing court was ever more thoroughly proved than
 the charges of witchcraft and sorcery for which so many suffered death.  If
 there were no witches, human testimony and human reason are alike destitute


@@ -12226,8 +12191,8 @@ What nobody is sure about.
 %
 But sex and drugs and rock & roll, why, they'd bring our blackest day.
 %
 %
 But sex and drugs and rock & roll, why, they'd bring our blackest day.
 %

-But since I knew now that I could hope for nothing of greater value than 
-frivolous pleasures, what point was there in denying myself of them?  
+But since I knew now that I could hope for nothing of greater value than
+frivolous pleasures, what point was there in denying myself of them?

                -- M. Proust
 %
 But soft you, the fair Ophelia:
                -- M. Proust
 %
 But soft you, the fair Ophelia:


@@ -12564,7 +12529,7 @@ cerebral atrophy, n:
 impair the brain's performance.  An abundance of these "bad" cells can cause
 symptoms related to senility, apathy, depression, and overall poor academic
 performance.  A certain small number of brain cells will deteriorate due to
 impair the brain's performance.  An abundance of these "bad" cells can cause
 symptoms related to senility, apathy, depression, and overall poor academic
 performance.  A certain small number of brain cells will deteriorate due to

-everday activity, but large amounts are weakened by intense mental effort
+everyday activity, but large amounts are weakened by intense mental effort

 and the assimilation of difficult concepts.  Many college students become
 victims of this dread disorder due to poor habits such as overstudying.
 
 and the assimilation of difficult concepts.  Many college students become
 victims of this dread disorder due to poor habits such as overstudying.
 


@@ -13100,7 +13065,7 @@ It whispers of a more ergodic zone.
                -- Stanislaw Lem, "Cyberiad"
 %
 Come fill the cup and in the fire of spring
                -- Stanislaw Lem, "Cyberiad"
 %
 Come fill the cup and in the fire of spring

-Your winter garment of repentence fling.
+Your winter garment of repentance fling.

 The bird of time has but a little way
 To flutter -- and the bird is on the wing.
                -- Omar Khayyam
 The bird of time has but a little way
 To flutter -- and the bird is on the wing.
                -- Omar Khayyam


@@ -13236,7 +13201,7 @@ the characteristics of hardware; software engineering should deal with the
 characteristics of *software*, and not with hardware or management.
                -- Dan Klein
 %
 characteristics of *software*, and not with hardware or management.
                -- Dan Klein
 %

-COMPASS [for the CDC-6000 series] is the sort of assembler 
+COMPASS [for the CDC-6000 series] is the sort of assembler

 one expects from a corporation whose president codes in octal.
                -- J.N. Gray
 %
 one expects from a corporation whose president codes in octal.
                -- J.N. Gray
 %


@@ -13306,7 +13271,7 @@ CONCEPT:
 %
 Conceptual integrity in turn dictates that the design must proceed
 from one mind, or from a very small number of agreeing resonant minds.
 %
 Conceptual integrity in turn dictates that the design must proceed
 from one mind, or from a very small number of agreeing resonant minds.

-               -- Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month" 
+               -- Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month"

 %
 Condense soup, not books!
 %
 %
 Condense soup, not books!
 %


@@ -13506,7 +13471,7 @@ COPYING MACHINE:
        interested in reading them.
 %
 Coronation, n:
        interested in reading them.
 %
 Coronation, n:

-       The ceremony of investing a sovereign with the outward and visible 
+       The ceremony of investing a sovereign with the outward and visible

        signs of his divine right to be blown skyhigh with a dynamite bomb.
                -- Ambrose Bierce
 %
        signs of his divine right to be blown skyhigh with a dynamite bomb.
                -- Ambrose Bierce
 %


@@ -13532,9 +13497,9 @@ His job is to enforce the law and fight crime.
 Corry's Law:
        Paper is always strongest at the perforations.
 %
 Corry's Law:
        Paper is always strongest at the perforations.
 %

-Couldn't we jury-rig the cat to act as an audio switch, and have it yell 
-at people to save their core images before logging them out?  I'm sure 
-the cattle prod would be effective in this regard.  In any case, a traverse 
+Couldn't we jury-rig the cat to act as an audio switch, and have it yell
+at people to save their core images before logging them out?  I'm sure
+the cattle prod would be effective in this regard.  In any case, a traverse

 mounted iguana, while more perverted, gives better traction, not to mention
 being easier to stake.
 %
 mounted iguana, while more perverted, gives better traction, not to mention
 being easier to stake.
 %


@@ -13637,7 +13602,7 @@ Cruickshank's Law of Committees:
        will inevitably decide to implement the idea simply because so
        much work has already been done on it.
 %
        will inevitably decide to implement the idea simply because so
        much work has already been done on it.
 %

-Crusade for Cthulu!  It Found ME!
+Crusade for Cthulhu!  It Found ME!

 %
 Crush!  Kill!  Destroy!
 %
 %
 Crush!  Kill!  Destroy!
 %


@@ -14131,7 +14096,7 @@ Deflector shields just came on, Captain.
        (t (append (list (implode (nf a (car c)))) (nf a (cdr c))))))
 
 (defun AD (want-job challenging boston-area)
        (t (append (list (implode (nf a (car c)))) (nf a (cdr c))))))
 
 (defun AD (want-job challenging boston-area)

-  (cond 
+  (cond

    ((or (not (equal want-job 'yes))
        (not (equal boston-area 'yes))
        (lessp challenging 7)) () )
    ((or (not (equal want-job 'yes))
        (not (equal boston-area 'yes))
        (lessp challenging 7)) () )


@@ -14154,10 +14119,10 @@ Delay is preferable to error.
 %
 Delay not, Caesar.  Read it instantly.
                -- Shakespeare, "Julius Caesar" 3,1
 %
 Delay not, Caesar.  Read it instantly.
                -- Shakespeare, "Julius Caesar" 3,1

- 
+

 Here is a letter, read it at your leisure.
                -- Shakespeare, "Merchant of Venice" 5,1
 Here is a letter, read it at your leisure.
                -- Shakespeare, "Merchant of Venice" 5,1

- 
+

        [Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
         referring to I/O system services.]
 %
        [Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
         referring to I/O system services.]
 %


@@ -14187,7 +14152,7 @@ Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
 Delores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever
 skipping along smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious
 to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an
 Delores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever
 skipping along smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious
 to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an

-overdose of flouride as a child which caused her to suffer from chronic
+overdose of fluoride as a child which caused her to suffer from chronic

 apathy, doomed herself to lie forever on the floor of her life as useless
 as an appendix and as lonely as a five-hundred pound barbell in a
 steroid-free fitness center.
 apathy, doomed herself to lie forever on the floor of her life as useless
 as an appendix and as lonely as a five-hundred pound barbell in a
 steroid-free fitness center.


@@ -14923,7 +14888,7 @@ Don't say "yes" until I finish talking.
 Don't shoot until you're sure you both aren't on the same side.
 %
 Don't shout for help at night.  You might wake your neighbors.
 Don't shoot until you're sure you both aren't on the same side.
 %
 Don't shout for help at night.  You might wake your neighbors.

-               -- Stanislaw J. Lem, "Unkempt Thoughts"
+               -- Stanislaw J. Lec, "Unkempt Thoughts"

 %
 Don't smoke the next cigarette.  Repeat.
 %
 %
 Don't smoke the next cigarette.  Repeat.
 %


@@ -15041,7 +15006,7 @@ double-blind Experiment, n:
 fooling both the subject and the lab assistant.  Often accompanied
 by a strong belief in the tooth fairy.
 %
 fooling both the subject and the lab assistant.  Often accompanied
 by a strong belief in the tooth fairy.
 %

-Doubt is a not a pleasant mental state, but certainty is a ridiculous one.  
+Doubt is a not a pleasant mental state, but certainty is a ridiculous one.

                -- Voltaire
 %
 Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.
                -- Voltaire
 %
 Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.


@@ -15148,7 +15113,7 @@ Drive defensively, buy a tank.
 %
 Driving in Texas is simple.  For the first 100 miles you swerve to
 avoid jackrabbits.  For the second 100 miles you hit whatever
 %
 Driving in Texas is simple.  For the first 100 miles you swerve to
 avoid jackrabbits.  For the second 100 miles you hit whatever

-jackrabbits get in the way.  After that you chase off into the 
+jackrabbits get in the way.  After that you chase off into the

 brush after them.
 %
 Driving through a Swiss city one day, Alfred Hitchcock suddenly pointed out
 brush after them.
 %
 Driving through a Swiss city one day, Alfred Hitchcock suddenly pointed out


@@ -15335,9 +15300,9 @@ But I'm goin' to heaven in a flash of fire,
 Eat as much as you like -- just don't swallow it.
                -- Harry Secombe's diet
 %
 Eat as much as you like -- just don't swallow it.
                -- Harry Secombe's diet
 %

-Eat drink and be merry!  Tommorrow you may be in Utah.
+Eat, drink, and be merry!  Tomorrow you may be in Utah.

 %
 %

-Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we diet.
+Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we diet.

 %
 Eat one live frog the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will
 happen to either of you for the rest of the day.
 %
 Eat one live frog the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will
 happen to either of you for the rest of the day.


@@ -15821,7 +15786,7 @@ Therefore fire engines are red.
 %
 Ever wondered about the origins of the term "bugs" as applied to computer
 technology?  U.S. Navy Capt. Grace Murray Hopper has firsthand explanation.
 %
 Ever wondered about the origins of the term "bugs" as applied to computer
 technology?  U.S. Navy Capt. Grace Murray Hopper has firsthand explanation.

-The 74-year-old captain, who is still on active duty, was a pioneer in 
+The 74-year-old captain, who is still on active duty, was a pioneer in

 computer technology during World War II.  At the C.W. Post Center of Long
 Island University, Hopper told a group of Long Island public school adminis-
 trators that the first computer "bug" was a real bug--a moth.  At Harvard
 computer technology during World War II.  At the C.W. Post Center of Long
 Island University, Hopper told a group of Long Island public school adminis-
 trators that the first computer "bug" was a real bug--a moth.  At Harvard


@@ -15838,10 +15803,6 @@ question."
                [actually, the term "bug" had even earlier usage in
                regard to problems with radio hardware.  Ed.]
 %
                [actually, the term "bug" had even earlier usage in
                regard to problems with radio hardware.  Ed.]
 %

-Everlasting peace will come to the world when the last man has slain
-the last but one.
-               -- Adolph Hitler
-%

 Every 4 seconds a woman has a baby.
 Our problem is to find this woman and stop her.
 %
 Every 4 seconds a woman has a baby.
 Our problem is to find this woman and stop her.
 %


@@ -15865,11 +15826,11 @@ Every dog has its day, but the nights belong to the pussycats.
 %
 Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired
 signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not
 %
 Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired
 signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not

-fed, those who are cold and are not clothed.  This world in arms is not 
+fed, those who are cold and are not clothed.  This world in arms is not

 spending money alone.  It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the
 genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children.  This is not
 spending money alone.  It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the
 genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children.  This is not

-a way of life at all in any true sense.  Under the clouds of war, it 
-is humanity hanging on a cross of iron.  
+a way of life at all in any true sense.  Under the clouds of war, it
+is humanity hanging on a cross of iron.

                -- Dwight Eisenhower, 1953
 %
 Every little picofarad has a nanohenry all its own.
                -- Dwight Eisenhower, 1953
 %
 Every little picofarad has a nanohenry all its own.


@@ -15964,7 +15925,7 @@ Every silver lining has a cloud around it.
 Every Solidarity center had piles and piles of paper ... everyone was
 eating paper and a policeman was at the door.  Now all you have to do is
 bend a disk.
 Every Solidarity center had piles and piles of paper ... everyone was
 eating paper and a policeman was at the door.  Now all you have to do is
 bend a disk.

-               -- A member of the outlawed Polish trade union, Solidarity, 
+               -- A member of the outlawed Polish trade union, Solidarity,

                   commenting on the benefits of using computers in support
                   of their movement.
 %
                   commenting on the benefits of using computers in support
                   of their movement.
 %


@@ -16176,7 +16137,7 @@ doubt it, it is customary for scientists to call it a fact.  That all present
 life descended from earlier forms, over vast stretches of geologic time, is
 as firmly established as Copernican cosmology.  Biologists differ only with
 respect to theories about how the process operates.
 life descended from earlier forms, over vast stretches of geologic time, is
 as firmly established as Copernican cosmology.  Biologists differ only with
 respect to theories about how the process operates.

-               -- Martin Gardner, "Irving Kristol and the Facts of Life". 
+               -- Martin Gardner, "Irving Kristol and the Facts of Life".

 %
 Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for even
 the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer.
 %
 Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for even
 the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer.


@@ -16428,7 +16389,7 @@ at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly
 insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are
 so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty
 neat idea.
 insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are
 so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty
 neat idea.

-               -- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhicker's Guide to the Galaxy"
+               -- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

 %
 Farmers in the Iowa State survey rated machinery breakdowns more
 stressful than divorce.
 %
 Farmers in the Iowa State survey rated machinery breakdowns more
 stressful than divorce.


@@ -16947,7 +16908,7 @@ was a gate.
 
        [Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
         referring to system overview.]
 
        [Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
         referring to system overview.]

- 
+

 %
 For the first time we have a weapon that nobody has used for thirty years.
 This gives me great hope for the human race.
 %
 For the first time we have a weapon that nobody has used for thirty years.
 This gives me great hope for the human race.


@@ -17004,7 +16965,7 @@ protected species.
          8 oz. shredded suet
          2 small onions
        1/2 teaspoonful black pepper
          8 oz. shredded suet
          2 small onions
        1/2 teaspoonful black pepper

-    
+

        Scrape and clean bag in cold, then warm, water.  Soak in salt water
 overnight.  Wash pluck, then boil for 2 hours with windpipe draining over
 the side of pot.  Retain 1 pint of stock.  Cut off windpipe, remove surplus
        Scrape and clean bag in cold, then warm, water.  Soak in salt water
 overnight.  Wash pluck, then boil for 2 hours with windpipe draining over
 the side of pot.  Retain 1 pint of stock.  Cut off windpipe, remove surplus


@@ -17110,7 +17071,7 @@ the person making the claim, not the critic.  It is not the responsibility
 of UFO skeptics to prove that a UFO has never existed, nor is it the
 responsibility of paranormal-health-claims skeptics to prove that crystals
 or colored lights never healed anyone.  The skeptic's role is to point out
 of UFO skeptics to prove that a UFO has never existed, nor is it the
 responsibility of paranormal-health-claims skeptics to prove that crystals
 or colored lights never healed anyone.  The skeptic's role is to point out

-claims that are not adequately supported by acceptable evidcence and to
+claims that are not adequately supported by acceptable evidence and to

 provide plausible alternative explanations that are more in keeping with
 the accepted body of scientific evidence.
                -- Thomas L. Creed, The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII,
 provide plausible alternative explanations that are more in keeping with
 the accepted body of scientific evidence.
                -- Thomas L. Creed, The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII,


@@ -17175,7 +17136,7 @@ Shoes:
         The average man has 4 pairs of footwear: running shoes, dress shoes,
 boots, and slippers.  The average woman has shoes 4 layers thick on the floor
 of her closet.  Most of them hurt her feet.
         The average man has 4 pairs of footwear: running shoes, dress shoes,
 boots, and slippers.  The average woman has shoes 4 layers thick on the floor
 of her closet.  Most of them hurt her feet.

- 
+

 Making friends:
         A woman will meet another woman with common interests, do a few things
 together, and say something like, "I hope we can be good friends."
 Making friends:
         A woman will meet another woman with common interests, do a few things
 together, and say something like, "I hope we can be good friends."


@@ -17232,7 +17193,7 @@ of his friends.  He will tell all his friends about his own affairs, though,
 so they can be ready if he needs an alibi.
 
 Driving:
 so they can be ready if he needs an alibi.
 
 Driving:

- 
+

        A typical man thinks he's Mario Andretti as soon as he slips behind
 the wheel of his car.  The fact that it's an 8-year-old Honda doesn't keep
 him from trying to out-accelerate the guy in the Porsche who's attempting
        A typical man thinks he's Mario Andretti as soon as he slips behind
 the wheel of his car.  The fact that it's an 8-year-old Honda doesn't keep
 him from trying to out-accelerate the guy in the Porsche who's attempting


@@ -17307,7 +17268,7 @@ CARTABLANCA:
        trouble with the local French authorities who would really prefer
        wine and the occupying Germans who believe that only their beer is
        fit to be sold.  Wacky events ensue until the gripping climax in
        trouble with the local French authorities who would really prefer
        wine and the occupying Germans who believe that only their beer is
        fit to be sold.  Wacky events ensue until the gripping climax in

-       which the much-hated German beer distributer is drowned in a vat.
+       which the much-hated German beer distributor is drowned in a vat.

 %
 FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE OBSCURE FILMS: #11
 
 %
 FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE OBSCURE FILMS: #11
 


@@ -17652,7 +17613,7 @@ Fortune's Exercising Truths:
 5.  No matter what anyone tells you, isometric exercises cannot be done
     quietly at your desk at work.  People will suspect manic tendencies as
     you twitter around in your chair.
 5.  No matter what anyone tells you, isometric exercises cannot be done
     quietly at your desk at work.  People will suspect manic tendencies as
     you twitter around in your chair.

-6.  Next to burying bones, the thing a dog enjoys mosts is tripping joggers.
+6.  Next to burying bones, the thing a dog enjoys most is tripping joggers.

 7.  Locking four people in a tiny, cement-walled room so they can run around
     for an hour smashing a little rubber ball -- and each other -- with a hard
     racket should immediately be recognized for what it is: a form of insanity.
 7.  Locking four people in a tiny, cement-walled room so they can run around
     for an hour smashing a little rubber ball -- and each other -- with a hard
     racket should immediately be recognized for what it is: a form of insanity.


@@ -17688,11 +17649,11 @@ poothtick comes out crean.
 FORTUNE'S FUN FACTS TO KNOW AND TELL:          #1
        A guinea pig is not from Guinea but a rodent from South America.
        A firefly is not a fly, but a beetle.
 FORTUNE'S FUN FACTS TO KNOW AND TELL:          #1
        A guinea pig is not from Guinea but a rodent from South America.
        A firefly is not a fly, but a beetle.

-       A giant panda bear is really a member of the racoon family.
+       A giant panda bear is really a member of the raccoon family.

        A black panther is really a leopard that has a solid black coat
            rather than a spotted one.
        Peanuts are not really nuts.  The majority of nuts grow on trees
        A black panther is really a leopard that has a solid black coat
            rather than a spotted one.
        Peanuts are not really nuts.  The majority of nuts grow on trees

-               while peauts grow underground.  They are classified as a
+               while peanuts grow underground.  They are classified as a

                legume-part of the pea family.
        A cucumber is not a vegetable but a fruit.
 %
                legume-part of the pea family.
        A cucumber is not a vegetable but a fruit.
 %


@@ -17834,7 +17795,7 @@ sharp-eared informant transcribed the following exchange between our hero
 and Rep. John D. Dingell, also of Michigan.
 
 Dingell: "There are places in the world at the present time where we are
 and Rep. John D. Dingell, also of Michigan.
 
 Dingell: "There are places in the world at the present time where we are

-         having to artifically propogate oysters and clams."
+         having to artificially propagate oysters and clams."

 Hoffman: "You mean the oysters I buy are not nature's oysters?"
 Dingell: "They may or may not be natural.  The simple fact of the matter is
          that female oysters through their living habits cast out large
 Hoffman: "You mean the oysters I buy are not nature's oysters?"
 Dingell: "They may or may not be natural.  The simple fact of the matter is
          that female oysters through their living habits cast out large


@@ -17988,7 +17949,7 @@ your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
 From 0 to "what seems to be the problem officer" in 8.3 seconds.
                -- Ad for the new VW Corrado
 %
 From 0 to "what seems to be the problem officer" in 8.3 seconds.
                -- Ad for the new VW Corrado
 %

-From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. 
+From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back.

 That is the point that must be reached.
                -- F. Kafka
 %
 That is the point that must be reached.
                -- F. Kafka
 %


@@ -18243,7 +18204,7 @@ Get forgiveness now -- tomorrow you may no longer feel guilty.
 %
 Get GUMMed
 ----------
 %
 Get GUMMed
 ----------

- 
+

 The Gurus of Unix Meeting of Minds (GUMM) takes place Wednesday, April 1, 2076
 (check THAT in your perpetual calendar program), 14 feet above the ground
 directly in front of the Milpitas Gumps.  Members will grep each other by the
 The Gurus of Unix Meeting of Minds (GUMM) takes place Wednesday, April 1, 2076
 (check THAT in your perpetual calendar program), 14 feet above the ground
 directly in front of the Milpitas Gumps.  Members will grep each other by the


@@ -18267,12 +18228,12 @@ Getting into trouble is easy.
 %
 Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is liked getting kicked
 out of the Book-of-the-Month Club.
 %
 Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is liked getting kicked
 out of the Book-of-the-Month Club.

-               -- Melvin Belli on the occcasion of his getting kicked out
+               -- Melvin Belli on the occasion of his getting kicked out

                   of the American Bar Association
 %
 Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
 
                   of the American Bar Association
 %
 Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
 

-Corrollary:
+Corollary:

        Following the rules will not get the job done.
 %
 Getting there is only half as far as getting there and back.
        Following the rules will not get the job done.
 %
 Getting there is only half as far as getting there and back.


@@ -18343,7 +18304,7 @@ Teach a man to fish, and he'll invite himself over for dinner.
 Give a small boy a hammer and he will find
 that everything he encounters needs pounding.
 %
 Give a small boy a hammer and he will find
 that everything he encounters needs pounding.
 %

-Give a woman an inch  and she'll park a car in it.
+Give a woman an inch and she'll park a car in it.

 %
 Give all orders verbally.  Never write anything down
 that might go into a "Pearl Harbor File".
 %
 Give all orders verbally.  Never write anything down
 that might go into a "Pearl Harbor File".


@@ -18776,7 +18737,7 @@ Good-bye.  I am leaving because I am bored.
 Goodbye, cool world.
 %
 Goose pimples rose all over me, my hair stood on end, my eyes filled with
 Goodbye, cool world.
 %
 Goose pimples rose all over me, my hair stood on end, my eyes filled with

-tears of love and gratitude for this greatest of all conquerers of human
+tears of love and gratitude for this greatest of all conquerors of human

 misery and shame, and my breath came in little gasps.  If I had not known
 that the Leader would have scorned such adulation, I might have fallen to
 my knees in unashamed worship, but instead I drew myself to attention, raised
 misery and shame, and my breath came in little gasps.  If I had not known
 that the Leader would have scorned such adulation, I might have fallen to
 my knees in unashamed worship, but instead I drew myself to attention, raised


@@ -18793,7 +18754,7 @@ gossip, n:
 %
 //GO.SYSIN DD *, DOODAH, DOODAH
 %
 %
 //GO.SYSIN DD *, DOODAH, DOODAH
 %

-Got a complaint about the Internal Revenue Service?  
+Got a complaint about the Internal Revenue Service?

 Call the convenient toll-free "IRS Taxpayer Complaint Hot Line Number":
 
        1-800-AUDITME
 Call the convenient toll-free "IRS Taxpayer Complaint Hot Line Number":
 
        1-800-AUDITME


@@ -18875,7 +18836,7 @@ Mouse clicks numb the fingers.
 Heuristics weaken the mind.
 Options wither the heart.
 
 Heuristics weaken the mind.
 Options wither the heart.
 

-The Guru observes the net 
+The Guru observes the net

 but trusts his inner vision.
 He allows things to come and go.
 His heart is as open as the ether.
 but trusts his inner vision.
 He allows things to come and go.
 His heart is as open as the ether.


@@ -19029,7 +18990,7 @@ guru, n:
 %
 gy-ro-scope:
        A wheel or disk mounted to spin rapidly about an axis and also
 %
 gy-ro-scope:
        A wheel or disk mounted to spin rapidly about an axis and also

-       free to rotate about one or both of two axes perpindicular to
+       free to rotate about one or both of two axes perpendicular to

        each other and the axis of spin so that a rotation of one of the
        two mutually perpendicular axes results from application of
        torque to the other when the wheel is spinning and so that the
        each other and the axis of spin so that a rotation of one of the
        two mutually perpendicular axes results from application of
        torque to the other when the wheel is spinning and so that the


@@ -19060,8 +19021,8 @@ Hackers are just a migratory lifeform with a tropism for computers.
 %
 Hacker's Guide To Cooking:
 2 pkg. cream cheese (the mushy white stuff in silver wrappings that doesn't
 %
 Hacker's Guide To Cooking:
 2 pkg. cream cheese (the mushy white stuff in silver wrappings that doesn't

-       really  come from Philadelphia after all; anyway, about 16 oz.)
-1 tsp. vanilla  extract  (which is more alcohol than vanilla and pretty
+       really come from Philadelphia after all; anyway, about 16 oz.)
+1 tsp. vanilla extract (which is more alcohol than vanilla and pretty

        strong so this part you *GOTTA* measure)
 1/4 cup sugar (but honey works fine too)
 8 oz. Cool Whip (the fluffy stuff devoid of nutritional value that you
        strong so this part you *GOTTA* measure)
 1/4 cup sugar (but honey works fine too)
 8 oz. Cool Whip (the fluffy stuff devoid of nutritional value that you


@@ -19073,10 +19034,10 @@ Hacker's Guide To Cooking:
        beater if you have a cat(1) that can climb wall(1s) to lick it off
        the ceiling(3m).
 "Pour into a graham cracker crust..."  Aha, the BUGS section at last.  You
        beater if you have a cat(1) that can climb wall(1s) to lick it off
        the ceiling(3m).
 "Pour into a graham cracker crust..."  Aha, the BUGS section at last.  You

-       just happened  to have a GCC sitting around under /etc/food, right?
+       just happened to have a GCC sitting around under /etc/food, right?

        If not, don't panic(8), merely crumble a rand(3m) handful of innocent
        GCs into a suitable tempfile and mix in some melted butter.
        If not, don't panic(8), merely crumble a rand(3m) handful of innocent
        GCs into a suitable tempfile and mix in some melted butter.

-"...and  refrigerate for an hour."  Leave the  recipe's  stdout in a fridge
+"...and refrigerate for an hour."  Leave the recipe's stdout in a fridge

        for 3.6E6 milliseconds while you work on cleaning up stderr, and
        by time out your cheesecake will be ready for stdin.
 %
        for 3.6E6 milliseconds while you work on cleaning up stderr, and
        by time out your cheesecake will be ready for stdin.
 %


@@ -19112,7 +19073,7 @@ Or help to half-a-crown."
 Had I been present at the creation, I would have given some
 useful hints for the better ordering of the universe.
                -- Alfonso the Wise
 Had I been present at the creation, I would have given some
 useful hints for the better ordering of the universe.
                -- Alfonso the Wise

- 
+

        [Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
         referring to operating system initialization.]
 %
        [Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
         referring to operating system initialization.]
 %


@@ -19175,14 +19136,14 @@ Hall's Laws of Politics:
            their own districts).
 %
 hand, n:
            their own districts).
 %
 hand, n:

-       A singular instrument worn at the end of a human 
+       A singular instrument worn at the end of a human

        arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.
 %
 Handel's Proverb:
        You can't produce a baby in one month by impregnating 9 women!
 %
 handshaking protocol, n:
        arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.
 %
 Handel's Proverb:
        You can't produce a baby in one month by impregnating 9 women!
 %
 handshaking protocol, n:

-       A process employed by hostile hardware devices to initate a
+       A process employed by hostile hardware devices to initiate a

        terse but civil dialogue, which, in turn, is characterized by
        occasional misunderstanding, sulking, and name-calling.
 %
        terse but civil dialogue, which, in turn, is characterized by
        occasional misunderstanding, sulking, and name-calling.
 %


@@ -19290,7 +19251,7 @@ the gravy with."
        The hamper was close behind us, and George and I both turned round to
 reach one out.  We were not five seconds getting it.  When we looked round
 again, Harris and the pie were gone!
        The hamper was close behind us, and George and I both turned round to
 reach one out.  We were not five seconds getting it.  When we looked round
 again, Harris and the pie were gone!

-       It was a wide, open field.  There was not a tree or a bit of hedge for 
+       It was a wide, open field.  There was not a tree or a bit of hedge for

 hundreds of yards.  He could not have tumbled into the river, because we were
 on the water side of him, and he would have had to climb over us to do it.
        George and I gazed all about.  Then we gazed at each other.
 hundreds of yards.  He could not have tumbled into the river, because we were
 on the water side of him, and he would have had to climb over us to do it.
        George and I gazed all about.  Then we gazed at each other.


@@ -19342,7 +19303,7 @@ We're protected by federal law, just like Richard Nixon."
                -- Dave Barry
 %
 Harry's bar has a new cocktail.  It's called MRS punch.  They make it with
                -- Dave Barry
 %
 Harry's bar has a new cocktail.  It's called MRS punch.  They make it with

-milk, rum and sugar and it's wonderful.  The milk is for vitality and the 
+milk, rum and sugar and it's wonderful.  The milk is for vitality and the

 sugar is for pep.  They put in the rum so that people will know what to do
 with all that pep and vitality.
 %
 sugar is for pep.  They put in the rum so that people will know what to do
 with all that pep and vitality.
 %


@@ -19367,7 +19328,7 @@ Harvard Law:
 HARVARD:
 Quarterback:
        Sophomore Dave Strewzinski... likes to pass.  And pass he does, with
 HARVARD:
 Quarterback:
        Sophomore Dave Strewzinski... likes to pass.  And pass he does, with

-a record 86 attempts (three completions) in 87 plays....  Though Strewzinksi
+a record 86 attempts (three completions) in 87 plays....  Though Strewzinski

 has so far failed to score any points for the Crimson, his jackrabbit speed
 has made him the least sacked quarterback in the Ivy league.
 Wide Receiver:
 has so far failed to score any points for the Crimson, his jackrabbit speed
 has made him the least sacked quarterback in the Ivy league.
 Wide Receiver:


@@ -19412,8 +19373,8 @@ but a lot harder than it appears.
 %
 Has the great art and mystery of politics no apparent utility? Does it
 appear to be unqualifiedly ratty, raffish, sordid, obscene and low down,
 %
 Has the great art and mystery of politics no apparent utility? Does it
 appear to be unqualifiedly ratty, raffish, sordid, obscene and low down,

-and its salient virtuosi a gang of umitigated scoundrels?  Then let us
-not forget its high capacity to soothe and tickel the midriff, its
+and its salient virtuosi a gang of unmitigated scoundrels?  Then let us
+not forget its high capacity to soothe and tickle the midriff, its

 incomparable services as a maker of entertainment.
                -- H.L. Mencken, "A Carnival of Buncombe"
 %
 incomparable services as a maker of entertainment.
                -- H.L. Mencken, "A Carnival of Buncombe"
 %


@@ -19619,7 +19580,7 @@ said, "there's a conflict between land and people... the people have to go..."
                -- Stan Ridgeway, "Call of the West"
 %
 He is a man capable of turning any colour into grey.
                -- Stan Ridgeway, "Call of the West"
 %
 He is a man capable of turning any colour into grey.

-               -- John LeCarre 
+               -- John LeCarre

 %
 He is considered a most graceful speaker
 who can say nothing in the most words.
 %
 He is considered a most graceful speaker
 who can say nothing in the most words.


@@ -19988,12 +19949,12 @@ Hello.  Jim Rockford's machine, this is Larry Doheny's machine.  Will you
 please have your master call my master at his convenience?  Thank you.
 Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.
 %
 please have your master call my master at his convenience?  Thank you.
 Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.
 %

-Hello, friend!  You say things aren't going too well?  You say you have a 
-date with your favorite girl when it starts raining so hard you can't see?  
-And you're out on some back road when the car stalls and won't start, so 
-you set off accross the fields, and 50 feet of barbed wire hits you right 
-smack in the puss?  And then there's a big explosion behind you and you 
-don't hear your girl screaming any more?  
+Hello, friend!  You say things aren't going too well?  You say you have a
+date with your favorite girl when it starts raining so hard you can't see?
+And you're out on some back road when the car stalls and won't start, so
+you set off accross the fields, and 50 feet of barbed wire hits you right
+smack in the puss?  And then there's a big explosion behind you and you
+don't hear your girl screaming any more?

 
        Well, take a walk in the sun and hold your head up high!
        You'll show the world; you'll tell them where to get off!
 
        Well, take a walk in the sun and hold your head up high!
        You'll show the world; you'll tell them where to get off!


@@ -20276,9 +20237,9 @@ Hideously disfigured by an ancient Indian curse?
 
 Call (511) 338-0959 for an immediate appointment.
 %
 
 Call (511) 338-0959 for an immediate appointment.
 %

-Hier liegt ein Mann ganz obnegleich;
-Im Leibe dick, an Suden reich.
-Wir haben ihn in das Grab gesteckt,    Here lies a man with sundry flaws
+Hier liegt ein Mann ganz ohnegleich;
+Im Leibe dick, an Suenden reich.
+Wir haben ihn ins Grab gesteckt,       Here lies a man with sundry flaws

 Weil es uns dunkt er sei verreckt.     And numerous Sins upon his head;
                                        We buried him today because
                                        As far as we can tell, he's dead.
 Weil es uns dunkt er sei verreckt.     And numerous Sins upon his head;
                                        We buried him today because
                                        As far as we can tell, he's dead.


@@ -20667,7 +20628,7 @@ How come we never talk anymore?
 %
 How come wrong numbers are never busy?
 %
 %
 How come wrong numbers are never busy?
 %

-How comes it to pass, then, that we appear such cowards 
+How comes it to pass, then, that we appear such cowards

 in reasoning, and are so afraid to stand the test of ridicule?
                -- A. Cooper
 %
 in reasoning, and are so afraid to stand the test of ridicule?
                -- A. Cooper
 %


@@ -20710,12 +20671,12 @@ How do you explain school to a higher intelligence?
 "How do you know she is a unicorn?" Molly demanded.  "And why were you afraid
 to let her touch you?  I saw you.  You were afraid of her."
        "I doubt that I will feel like talking for very long," the cat
 "How do you know she is a unicorn?" Molly demanded.  "And why were you afraid
 to let her touch you?  I saw you.  You were afraid of her."
        "I doubt that I will feel like talking for very long," the cat

-replied without rancor.  "I would not waste time in foolishness if I were 
+replied without rancor.  "I would not waste time in foolishness if I were

 you.  As to your first question, no cat out of its first fur can ever be
 deceived by appearances.  Unlike human beings, who enjoy them.  As for your
 second question --"  Here he faltered, and suddenly became very interested
 in washing; nor would he speak until he had licked himself fluffy and then
 you.  As to your first question, no cat out of its first fur can ever be
 deceived by appearances.  Unlike human beings, who enjoy them.  As for your
 second question --"  Here he faltered, and suddenly became very interested
 in washing; nor would he speak until he had licked himself fluffy and then

-licked himself smooth again.  Even then he would not look at Molly, but 
+licked himself smooth again.  Even then he would not look at Molly, but

 examined his claws.
        "If she had touched me," he said very softly, "I would have been
 hers and not my own, not ever again."
 examined his claws.
        "If she had touched me," he said very softly, "I would have been
 hers and not my own, not ever again."


@@ -20834,7 +20795,7 @@ Hubbard's Law:
        Don't take life too seriously;
        you won't get out of it alive.
 %
        Don't take life too seriously;
        you won't get out of it alive.
 %

-Hug me now, you mad, impetuous fool!!  
+Hug me now, you mad, impetuous fool!!

 Oh wait...
 I'm a computer, and you're a person.  It would never work out.
 Never mind.
 Oh wait...
 I'm a computer, and you're a person.  It would never work out.
 Never mind.


@@ -20856,8 +20817,8 @@ Human kind cannot bear very much reality.
 Human resources are human first, and resources second.
                -- J. Garbers
 %
 Human resources are human first, and resources second.
                -- J. Garbers
 %

-Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, 
-responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and 
+Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober,
+responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and

 immature.
                -- Tom Robbins
 %
 immature.
                -- Tom Robbins
 %


@@ -20915,7 +20876,7 @@ V:
        output.
                -- Norman Augustine
 %
        output.
                -- Norman Augustine
 %

-I  wish  there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence.
+I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence.

 There's a knob called "brightness", but it doesn't seem to work.
                -- Gallagher
 %
 There's a knob called "brightness", but it doesn't seem to work.
                -- Gallagher
 %


@@ -20928,7 +20889,7 @@ terrifies people the most.
 I acted to show my love for Jodie Foster.
                -- John Hinckley
 %
 I acted to show my love for Jodie Foster.
                -- John Hinckley
 %

-I ain't got no quarrle with them Viet Congs.
+I ain't got no quarrel with them Viet Congs.

                -- Muhammad Ali
 %
 I allow the world to live as it chooses,
                -- Muhammad Ali
 %
 I allow the world to live as it chooses,


@@ -21142,7 +21103,7 @@ particularly if he has income and she is pattable.
 %
 I believe in an America where the separation of church and state is absolute
 -- where no Catholic prelate would tell the president (should he be Catholic)
 %
 I believe in an America where the separation of church and state is absolute
 -- where no Catholic prelate would tell the president (should he be Catholic)

-how to act, and no Protestant minister would tell his parishoners for whom
+how to act, and no Protestant minister would tell his parishioners for whom

 to vote -- where no church or church school is granted any public funds or
 political preference -- and where no man is denied public office merely
 because his religion differs from the president who might appoint him or
 to vote -- where no church or church school is granted any public funds or
 political preference -- and where no man is denied public office merely
 because his religion differs from the president who might appoint him or


@@ -21354,7 +21315,7 @@ But maybe that's what sophisticated is -- being tired.
 %
 I didn't know he was dead; I thought he was British.
 %
 %
 I didn't know he was dead; I thought he was British.
 %

-I didn't like the play, but I saw it under adverse conditions.  
+I didn't like the play, but I saw it under adverse conditions.

 The curtain was up.
 %
 "I didn't order any WOO-WOO...  Maybe a YUBBA...  But no WOO-WOO!"
 The curtain was up.
 %
 "I didn't order any WOO-WOO...  Maybe a YUBBA...  But no WOO-WOO!"


@@ -21653,9 +21614,6 @@ I give you the man who -- the man who -- uh, I forgets the man who?
 I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.
                -- H.L. Mencken
 %
 I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.
                -- H.L. Mencken
 %

-I go the way that Providence dictates.
-               -- Adolf Hitler
-%

 "I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me... I
 pushed '1' and he just stood there... I said 'Hi, where you going?'  He
 said, 'Phoenix.'  So I pushed Phoenix.  A few seconds later the doors
 "I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me... I
 pushed '1' and he just stood there... I said 'Hi, where you going?'  He
 said, 'Phoenix.'  So I pushed Phoenix.  A few seconds later the doors


@@ -21756,7 +21714,7 @@ Beach."
 %
 I had another dream the other day about government financial management
 people.  They were small and rodent-like with padlocked ears, as if they
 %
 I had another dream the other day about government financial management
 people.  They were small and rodent-like with padlocked ears, as if they

-had stepped out of a painting by Goya.  
+had stepped out of a painting by Goya.

 %
 I had another dream the other day about music critics.  They were small
 and rodent-like with padlocked ears, as if they had stepped out of a
 %
 I had another dream the other day about music critics.  They were small
 and rodent-like with padlocked ears, as if they had stepped out of a


@@ -21820,7 +21778,7 @@ Stay, here..." but he got wise to that.  Now when I call him he ignores me
 and just keeps on typing.
                -- Stephen Wright
 %
 and just keeps on typing.
                -- Stephen Wright
 %

-I have a dream.  I have a dream that one day, on the red hills of Georgia, 
+I have a dream.  I have a dream that one day, on the red hills of Georgia,

 the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to
 sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
                -- Martin Luther King, Jr.
 the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to
 sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
                -- Martin Luther King, Jr.


@@ -21857,7 +21815,7 @@ People ask me where I live, and I say, "E6".
 I have a rock garden.  Last week three of them died.
                -- Richard Diran
 %
 I have a rock garden.  Last week three of them died.
                -- Richard Diran
 %

-I have a simple philosophy:  
+I have a simple philosophy:

 
        Fill what's empty.
        Empty what's full.
 
        Fill what's empty.
        Empty what's full.


@@ -21912,7 +21870,7 @@ I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable
 to sit still in a room.
                -- Blaise Pascal
 %
 to sit still in a room.
                -- Blaise Pascal
 %

-I have discovered the art of deceiving diplomats. 
+I have discovered the art of deceiving diplomats.

 I tell them the truth and they never believe me.
                -- Camillo Di Cavour
 %
 I tell them the truth and they never believe me.
                -- Camillo Di Cavour
 %


@@ -21997,8 +21955,8 @@ already catered for within the scope of any respectable domestic
 establishment.
                -- Alan Bennett
 %
 establishment.
                -- Alan Bennett
 %

-I have no doubt that it is a part of the destiny of the human race, 
-in its gradual improvement, to leave off eating animals.    
+I have no doubt that it is a part of the destiny of the human race,
+in its gradual improvement, to leave off eating animals.

                -- Thoreau
 %
 I have no doubt the Devil grins,
                -- Thoreau
 %
 I have no doubt the Devil grins,


@@ -22073,8 +22031,8 @@ I have travelled the length and breadth of this country, and have talked with
 the best people in business administration.  I can assure you on the highest
 authority that data processing is a fad and won't last out the year.
                -- Editor in charge of business books at Prentice-Hall
 the best people in business administration.  I can assure you on the highest
 authority that data processing is a fad and won't last out the year.
                -- Editor in charge of business books at Prentice-Hall

-                  publishers, responding to Karl V. Karlstrom (a junior 
-                  editor who had recommended a manuscript on the new 
+                  publishers, responding to Karl V. Karlstrom (a junior
+                  editor who had recommended a manuscript on the new

                   science of data processing), c. 1957
 %
 I have ways of making money that you know nothing of.
                   science of data processing), c. 1957
 %
 I have ways of making money that you know nothing of.


@@ -22418,9 +22376,9 @@ I've never seen a purple cow
 I never hope to see one
 But from the milk we're getting now
 There certainly must be one
 I never hope to see one
 But from the milk we're getting now
 There certainly must be one

-               -- Odgen Nash
+               -- Ogden Nash

 
 

-Ah, yes, I wrote "The Purple Cow"   
+Ah, yes, I wrote "The Purple Cow"

 I'm sorry now I wrote it
 But I can tell you anyhow
 I'll kill you if you quote it.
 I'm sorry now I wrote it
 But I can tell you anyhow
 I'll kill you if you quote it.


@@ -22487,7 +22445,7 @@ and justice for all.
 I poured spot remover on my dog.  Now he's gone.
                -- S. Wright
 %
 I poured spot remover on my dog.  Now he's gone.
                -- S. Wright
 %

-I prefer rogues to imbeciles  because they sometimes take a rest.
+I prefer rogues to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest.

                -- Alexandre Dumas the Younger
 %
 I prefer the most unjust peace to the most righteous war.
                -- Alexandre Dumas the Younger
 %
 I prefer the most unjust peace to the most righteous war.


@@ -22611,7 +22569,7 @@ I respect the institution of marriage.  I have always thought that every
 woman should marry -- and no man.
                -- Benjamin Disraeli, "Lothair"
 %
 woman should marry -- and no man.
                -- Benjamin Disraeli, "Lothair"
 %

-I reverently believe that the maker who made us all  makes everything in New
+I reverently believe that the maker who made us all makes everything in New

 England, but the weather.  I don't know who makes that, but I think it must be
 raw apprentices in the weather-clerks factory who experiment and learn how, in
 New England, for board and clothes, and then are promoted to make weather for
 England, but the weather.  I don't know who makes that, but I think it must be
 raw apprentices in the weather-clerks factory who experiment and learn how, in
 New England, for board and clothes, and then are promoted to make weather for


@@ -22660,7 +22618,7 @@ I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes.  I hope
 they do get 'em lowered down enough so people can afford to pay 'em.
        -- The Best of Will Rogers
 %
 they do get 'em lowered down enough so people can afford to pay 'em.
        -- The Best of Will Rogers
 %

-I see where we are starting to pay some attention to our neigbors to
+I see where we are starting to pay some attention to our neighbors to

 the south.  We could never understand why Mexico wasn't just crazy about
 us; for we have always had their good will, and oil and minerals, at heart.
        -- The Best of Will Rogers
 the south.  We could never understand why Mexico wasn't just crazy about
 us; for we have always had their good will, and oil and minerals, at heart.
        -- The Best of Will Rogers


@@ -22705,12 +22663,6 @@ a little girl who won't eat her dinner or a great big man with cocaine
 in his veins.
                -- Sigmund Freud, in a letter to his fiancee
 %
 in his veins.
                -- Sigmund Freud, in a letter to his fiancee
 %

-I shall give a propagandist reason for starting the war, no matter whether
-it is plausible or not.  The victor will not be asked afterwards whether
-he told the truth or not.  When starting and waging war it is not right
-that matters, but victory.
-               -- Adolph Hitler
-%

 I shot an arrow in to the air, and it stuck.
                -- graffito in Los Angeles
 
 I shot an arrow in to the air, and it stuck.
                -- graffito in Los Angeles
 


@@ -22886,7 +22838,7 @@ that I am!
                -- Monty Python
 %
 "I think he said 'Blessed are the cheesemakers.'"
                -- Monty Python
 %
 "I think he said 'Blessed are the cheesemakers.'"

-"Nonsense, he was obviously referring to all manafacturers of dairy products."
+"Nonsense, he was obviously referring to all manufacturers of dairy products."

                -- The Life of Brian
 %
 I think I'll snatch a kiss and flee.
                -- The Life of Brian
 %
 I think I'll snatch a kiss and flee.


@@ -23153,7 +23105,7 @@ the earth.
                Sylvia Kamerman, "Book Reviewing"
 %
 I was at this restaurant.  The sign said "Breakfast Anytime."  So I
                Sylvia Kamerman, "Book Reviewing"
 %
 I was at this restaurant.  The sign said "Breakfast Anytime."  So I

-ordered French Toast in the Rennaissance.
+ordered French Toast in the Renaissance.

                -- Steven Wright
 %
 I was born in a barrel of butcher knives
                -- Steven Wright
 %
 I was born in a barrel of butcher knives


@@ -23191,8 +23143,8 @@ I was in accord with the system so long as it
 permitted me to function effectively.
                -- Albert Speer
 %
 permitted me to function effectively.
                -- Albert Speer
 %

-I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all 
-these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these 
+I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all
+these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these

 kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and
 I wasn't tempted to buy one but I was reminded of the fact that I had been
 avoiding the beach.
 kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and
 I wasn't tempted to buy one but I was reminded of the fact that I had been
 avoiding the beach.


@@ -23248,7 +23200,7 @@ Dad, get me out of this.
                -- Warren Zevon, "Lawyers, Guns and Money"
 %
 I went into the business for the money, and the art grew out of it.
                -- Warren Zevon, "Lawyers, Guns and Money"
 %
 I went into the business for the money, and the art grew out of it.

-If people are disillusioned by that remark, I can't help it. 
+If people are disillusioned by that remark, I can't help it.

 It's the truth.
                -- Charlie Chaplin
 %
 It's the truth.
                -- Charlie Chaplin
 %


@@ -23377,9 +23329,9 @@ had been stolen and replaced with an exact replica.  I told my roommate,
 replaced with an exact replica."  He said, "Do I know you?"
                -- Steven Wright
 %
 replaced with an exact replica."  He said, "Do I know you?"
                -- Steven Wright
 %

-"I wonder", he said to himself, "what's in a book while it's closed.  Oh, I 
-know it's full of letters printed on paper, but all the same, something must 
-be happening, because as soon as I open it, there's a whole story with people 
+"I wonder", he said to himself, "what's in a book while it's closed.  Oh, I
+know it's full of letters printed on paper, but all the same, something must
+be happening, because as soon as I open it, there's a whole story with people

 I don't know yet and all kinds of adventures and battles."
                -- Bastian B. Bux
 %
 I don't know yet and all kinds of adventures and battles."
                -- Bastian B. Bux
 %


@@ -23413,7 +23365,7 @@ of wax...  and that we remember and know what is imprinted as long as the
 image lasts; but when the image is effaced, or cannot be taken, then we
 forget or do not know.
                -- Plato, Dialogs, Theateus 191
 image lasts; but when the image is effaced, or cannot be taken, then we
 forget or do not know.
                -- Plato, Dialogs, Theateus 191

- 
+

        [Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
         referring to image activation and termination.]
 %
        [Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
         referring to image activation and termination.]
 %


@@ -23449,7 +23401,7 @@ I love America.  You always hurt the one you love.
 %
 I would rather be a serf in a poor man's house
 and be above ground than reign among the dead.
 %
 I would rather be a serf in a poor man's house
 and be above ground than reign among the dead.

-               -- Achilles, "The Odessey", XI, 489-91
+               -- Achilles, "The Odyssey", XI, 489-91

 %
 I would rather say that a desire to drive fast
 sports cars is what sets man apart from the animals.
 %
 I would rather say that a desire to drive fast
 sports cars is what sets man apart from the animals.


@@ -23467,7 +23419,8 @@ them scream.
                -- Sylvestre Matuschka, "the Hungarian Train Wreck Freak",
                   escaped prison 1937, not heard from since
 %
                -- Sylvestre Matuschka, "the Hungarian Train Wreck Freak",
                   escaped prison 1937, not heard from since
 %

-Iam
+I
+am

 not
 very
 happy
 not
 very
 happy


@@ -23481,7 +23434,7 @@ intellectual
 enlightenment
 %
 IBM:
 enlightenment
 %
 IBM:

-       [Internation Business Machines Corp.]  Also known as Itty Bitty
+       [International Business Machines Corp.]  Also known as Itty Bitty

        Machines or The Lawyer's Friend.  The dominant force in computer
        marketing, having supplied worldwide some 75% of all known hardware
        and 10% of all software.  To protect itself from the litigious envy
        Machines or The Lawyer's Friend.  The dominant force in computer
        marketing, having supplied worldwide some 75% of all known hardware
        and 10% of all software.  To protect itself from the litigious envy


@@ -23548,7 +23501,7 @@ I'd never cry if I did find
        A blue whale in my soup...
 Nor would I mind a porcupine
        Inside a chicken coop.
        A blue whale in my soup...
 Nor would I mind a porcupine
        Inside a chicken coop.

-Yes life is fine when things combine,  
+Yes life is fine when things combine,

        Like ham in beef chow mein...
 But lord, this time I think I mind,
        They've put acid in my rain.
        Like ham in beef chow mein...
 But lord, this time I think I mind,
        They've put acid in my rain.


@@ -23605,7 +23558,7 @@ If A = B and B = C, then A = C, except where void or prohibited by law.
                -- Roy Santoro
 %
 If a camel is a horse designed by a committee, then a consensus forecast
                -- Roy Santoro
 %
 If a camel is a horse designed by a committee, then a consensus forecast

-is a camel's behind. 
+is a camel's behind.

                -- Edgar R. Fiedler
 %
 If a can of Alpo costs 38 cents, would it cost $2.50 in Dog Dollars?
                -- Edgar R. Fiedler
 %
 If a can of Alpo costs 38 cents, would it cost $2.50 in Dog Dollars?


@@ -23749,7 +23702,7 @@ And all the skies were parchment,
 And all the men could write,
 These would not suffice
 To write down all the red tape
 And all the men could write,
 These would not suffice
 To write down all the red tape

-Of this Government. 
+Of this Government.

 %
 If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
                -- Paul Beatty
 %
 If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
                -- Paul Beatty


@@ -23761,7 +23714,7 @@ we wouldn't reach a conclusion.
 If an average person on the subway turns to you, like an ancient mariner,
 and starts telling you her tale, you turn away or nod and hope she stops,
 not just because you fear she might be crazy.  If she tells her tale on
 If an average person on the subway turns to you, like an ancient mariner,
 and starts telling you her tale, you turn away or nod and hope she stops,
 not just because you fear she might be crazy.  If she tells her tale on

-camera, you might listen.  Watching strangers on television , even
+camera, you might listen.  Watching strangers on television, even

 responding to them from a studio audience, we're disengaged - voyeurs
 collaborating with exhibitionists in rituals of sham community.  Never
 have so many known so much about people for whom they cared so little.
 responding to them from a studio audience, we're disengaged - voyeurs
 collaborating with exhibitionists in rituals of sham community.  Never
 have so many known so much about people for whom they cared so little.


@@ -23893,7 +23846,7 @@ If food be the music of love, eat up, eat up.
 %
 If for every rule there is an exception, then we have established that there
 is an exception to every rule.  If we accept "For every rule there is an
 %
 If for every rule there is an exception, then we have established that there
 is an exception to every rule.  If we accept "For every rule there is an

-exception" as a rule, then we must conced that there may not be an exception
+exception" as a rule, then we must concede that there may not be an exception

 after all, since the rule states that there is always the possibility of
 exception, and if we follow it to its logical end we must agree that there
 can be an exception to the rule that for every rule there is an exception.
 after all, since the rule states that there is always the possibility of
 exception, and if we follow it to its logical end we must agree that there
 can be an exception to the rule that for every rule there is an exception.


@@ -23930,7 +23883,7 @@ he'd make it easier to get to the airport.
                -- George Winters
 %
 If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would
                -- George Winters
 %
 If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would

-have made them cute and furry. 
+have made them cute and furry.

                -- Dave Barry
 %
 If God had wanted us to use the metric system, Jesus would have had
                -- Dave Barry
 %
 If God had wanted us to use the metric system, Jesus would have had


@@ -24092,7 +24045,7 @@ my shoulders.
 Mathematicians stand on each other's shoulders.
                -- Gauss
 
 Mathematicians stand on each other's shoulders.
                -- Gauss
 

-Mathemeticians stand on each other's shoulders while computer scientists
+Mathematicians stand on each other's shoulders while computer scientists

 stand on each other's toes.
                -- Richard Hamming
 
 stand on each other's toes.
                -- Richard Hamming
 


@@ -24114,10 +24067,6 @@ If I love you, what business is it of yours?
 If I love you, what business is it of yours?
                -- Johann van Goethe
 %
 If I love you, what business is it of yours?
                -- Johann van Goethe
 %

-If I made peace with Russia today, I'd only attack her again tomorrow.  I
-just couldn't help myself.
-               -- Adolf Hitler
-%

 If I promised you the moon and the stars, would you believe it?
                -- Alan Parsons Project
 %
 If I promised you the moon and the stars, would you believe it?
                -- Alan Parsons Project
 %


@@ -24260,7 +24209,7 @@ If man is only a little lower than the angels, the angels should reform.
                -- Mary Wilson Little
 %
 If mathematically you end up with the wrong
                -- Mary Wilson Little
 %
 If mathematically you end up with the wrong

-answer, try multipying by the page number.
+answer, try multiplying by the page number.

 %
 If men acted after marriage as they do during courtship, there would
 be fewer divorces -- and more bankruptcies.
 %
 If men acted after marriage as they do during courtship, there would
 be fewer divorces -- and more bankruptcies.


@@ -24290,7 +24239,7 @@ and from that to incivility and procrastination.
                -- Thomas De Quincey (1785 - 1859)
 %
 If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think
                -- Thomas De Quincey (1785 - 1859)
 %
 If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think

-little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and 
+little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and

 Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination.
                -- Thomas De Quincey
 %
 Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination.
                -- Thomas De Quincey
 %


@@ -24409,7 +24358,7 @@ Their romance might have flourished.
 But he built tetrahedral in his shape,
 His ions ferric,
 Love could not help but die,
 But he built tetrahedral in his shape,
 His ions ferric,
 Love could not help but die,

-Uncatylised, inert, and undernourished.
+Uncatalyzed, inert, and undernourished.

 %
 If society fits you comfortably enough, you call it freedom.
                -- Robert Frost
 %
 If society fits you comfortably enough, you call it freedom.
                -- Robert Frost


@@ -24462,7 +24411,7 @@ put on a professor.
 %
 If the designers of X-window built cars, there would be no fewer than five
 steering wheels hidden about the cockpit, none of which followed the same
 %
 If the designers of X-window built cars, there would be no fewer than five
 steering wheels hidden about the cockpit, none of which followed the same

-prinicples -- but you'd be able to shift gears with your car stereo.  Useful
+principles -- but you'd be able to shift gears with your car stereo.  Useful

 feature, that.
                -- From the programming notebooks of a heretic, 1990.
 %
 feature, that.
                -- From the programming notebooks of a heretic, 1990.
 %


@@ -24504,7 +24453,7 @@ the lives of both have been wasted.
 If the meanings of "true" and "false" were switched,
 then this sentence would not be false.
 %
 If the meanings of "true" and "false" were switched,
 then this sentence would not be false.
 %

-If the Nazi's had television with satellite technology, we'd all be
+If the Nazis had television with satellite technology, we'd all be

 goose-stepping.  Americans are just as suggestible.
                -- Frank Zappa
 %
 goose-stepping.  Americans are just as suggestible.
                -- Frank Zappa
 %


@@ -24849,7 +24798,7 @@ was running the wrong version of the gateway which was giving out the wrong
 network number?  Never supposed to happen.  Tough.  Supposing that your
 software discovers that the gateway is now giving out a different network
 number than before, what's it supposed to do about it?  This is not discussed
 network number?  Never supposed to happen.  Tough.  Supposing that your
 software discovers that the gateway is now giving out a different network
 number than before, what's it supposed to do about it?  This is not discussed

-in the protocol document.  Never supposed to happen.  Tough.  I think you 
+in the protocol document.  Never supposed to happen.  Tough.  I think you

 get my drift.
 %
 If you explain something so clearly that no
 get my drift.
 %
 If you explain something so clearly that no


@@ -24995,7 +24944,7 @@ If you lose a son you can always get another,
 but there's only one Maltese Falcon.
                -- Sidney Greenstreet, "The Maltese Falcon"
 %
 but there's only one Maltese Falcon.
                -- Sidney Greenstreet, "The Maltese Falcon"
 %

-If you lose your temper at a newspaper columnist, he'll get rich, 
+If you lose your temper at a newspaper columnist, he'll get rich,

 or famous or both.
 %
 If you love someone, set them free.
 or famous or both.
 %
 If you love someone, set them free.


@@ -25088,7 +25037,7 @@ they taste more like prunes than rhubarb does.
                -- Groucho Marx
 %
 If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker,
                -- Groucho Marx
 %
 If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker,

-It is slick to stick a lock upon your stock. 
+It is slick to stick a lock upon your stock.

 Or some joker who is slicker,
 Will trick you of your liquor,
 If you fail to lock your liquor with a lock.
 Or some joker who is slicker,
 Will trick you of your liquor,
 If you fail to lock your liquor with a lock.


@@ -25182,7 +25131,7 @@ If you want to be ruined, marry a rich woman.
                -- Michelet
 %
 If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's
                -- Michelet
 %
 If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's

-read by persons who move their lips when the're reading to themselves.
+read by persons who move their lips when they're reading to themselves.

                -- Don Marquis
 %
 If you want to know how old a man is, ask his brother-in-law.
                -- Don Marquis
 %
 If you want to know how old a man is, ask his brother-in-law.


@@ -25239,7 +25188,7 @@ If put to a pinch, an ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness.
 If you must vilify, condemn and eternally find disparage -- resign your
        position, and when you are outside, damn to your heart's content...
        but, as long as you are part of the institution do not condemn it.
 If you must vilify, condemn and eternally find disparage -- resign your
        position, and when you are outside, damn to your heart's content...
        but, as long as you are part of the institution do not condemn it.

-If you do that, you are loosening the tendrils that are holding you to the 
+If you do that, you are loosening the tendrils that are holding you to the

        institution, and at the first high wind that comes along, you will
        be uprooted and blown away, and probably will never know the reason
        why.
        institution, and at the first high wind that comes along, you will
        be uprooted and blown away, and probably will never know the reason
        why.


@@ -25350,7 +25299,7 @@ rage today, and it will set the pace tomorrow.
 Ignorance is when you don't know anything and somebody finds it out.
 %
 Ignorance must certainly be bliss or there wouldn't be so many people
 Ignorance is when you don't know anything and somebody finds it out.
 %
 Ignorance must certainly be bliss or there wouldn't be so many people

-so resolutely pursuing it. 
+so resolutely pursuing it.

 %
 Ignore previous fortune.
 %
 %
 Ignore previous fortune.
 %


@@ -25529,17 +25478,17 @@ And McGovern were a tree.
 %
 I'm going through my "I want to go back to New York" phase today.  Happens
 every six months or so.  So, I thought, perhaps unwisely, that I'd share
 %
 I'm going through my "I want to go back to New York" phase today.  Happens
 every six months or so.  So, I thought, perhaps unwisely, that I'd share

-it with you.  
+it with you.

 
 > In New York in the winter it is million degrees below zero and
 
 > In New York in the winter it is million degrees below zero and

-  the wind travels at a million miles an hour down 5th avenue. 
+  the wind travels at a million miles an hour down 5th avenue.

 > And in LA it's 72.
 
 > In New York in the summer it is a million degrees and the humidity
   is a million percent.
 > And in LA it's 72.
 
 > And in LA it's 72.
 
 > In New York in the summer it is a million degrees and the humidity
   is a million percent.
 > And in LA it's 72.
 

-> In New York there are a million interesting people.  
+> In New York there are a million interesting people.

 > And in LA there are 72.
 %
 I'm going to Boston to see my doctor.  He's a very sick man.
 > And in LA there are 72.
 %
 I'm going to Boston to see my doctor.  He's a very sick man.


@@ -25627,7 +25576,7 @@ gence?"  I give the standard arguments -- there are a lot of places out there,
 and use the word *billions*, and so on.  And then I say it would be astonishing
 to me if there weren't extraterrestrial intelligence, but of course there is as
 yet no compelling evidence for it.  And then I'm asked, "Yeah, but what do you
 and use the word *billions*, and so on.  And then I say it would be astonishing
 to me if there weren't extraterrestrial intelligence, but of course there is as
 yet no compelling evidence for it.  And then I'm asked, "Yeah, but what do you

-really think?"  I say, "I just told you what I really think."  "Yeah, but 
+really think?"  I say, "I just told you what I really think."  "Yeah, but

 what's your gut feeling?"  But I try not to think with my gut.  Really, it's
 okay to reserve judgment until the evidence is in.
                -- Carl Sagan
 what's your gut feeling?"  But I try not to think with my gut.  Really, it's
 okay to reserve judgment until the evidence is in.
                -- Carl Sagan


@@ -25682,11 +25631,7 @@ Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.
 Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual
 way.  This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of
 complaining.
 Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual
 way.  This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of
 complaining.

-               -- Jeff Raskin
-%
-Imagine me going around with a pot belly.
-It would mean political ruin.
-               -- Adolf Hitler
+               -- Jef Raskin

 %
 Imagine that Cray computer decides to make a personal computer.  It has a
 150 MHz processor, 200 megabytes of RAM, 1500 megabytes of disk storage, a
 %
 Imagine that Cray computer decides to make a personal computer.  It has a
 150 MHz processor, 200 megabytes of RAM, 1500 megabytes of disk storage, a


@@ -25798,7 +25743,7 @@ have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
 In a minimum-phase system there is an inextricable link between
 frequency response, phase response and transient response, as they
 are all merely transforms of one another.  This combined with
 In a minimum-phase system there is an inextricable link between
 frequency response, phase response and transient response, as they
 are all merely transforms of one another.  This combined with

-minimalization of open-loop errors in output amplifiers and correct
+minimization of open-loop errors in output amplifiers and correct

 compensation for non-linear passive crossover network loading can
 lead to a significant decrease in system resolution lost.  However,
 this all means jack when you listen to Pink Floyd.
 compensation for non-linear passive crossover network loading can
 lead to a significant decrease in system resolution lost.  However,
 this all means jack when you listen to Pink Floyd.


@@ -25809,7 +25754,7 @@ because the warrant was made out in the name of Don Provan, while the only
 person in the house was named don provan.  Proving, once again, that Unix is
 superior to Tops10.
 %
 person in the house was named don provan.  Proving, once again, that Unix is
 superior to Tops10.
 %

-In a whiskey it's age, in a cigarette it's 
+In a whiskey it's age, in a cigarette it's

 taste and in a sports car it's impossible.
 %
 In America any boy may become President, and I suppose that's just the
 taste and in a sports car it's impossible.
 %
 In America any boy may become President, and I suppose that's just the


@@ -25860,7 +25805,7 @@ teacher should know.  "I would not leave the definition of math," Dr. Honig
 said, "up to the mathematicians."
                -- The New York Times, October 22, 1985
 %
 said, "up to the mathematicians."
                -- The New York Times, October 22, 1985
 %

-In California they don't throw their garbadge away -- they make
+In California they don't throw their garbage away -- they make

 it into television shows.
                -- Woody Allen, "Annie Hall"
 %
 it into television shows.
                -- Woody Allen, "Annie Hall"
 %


@@ -25887,7 +25832,7 @@ be free of subjugation.
 %
 In computing, the mean time to failure keeps getting shorter.
 %
 %
 In computing, the mean time to failure keeps getting shorter.
 %

-In Cristianity, a man may have only one wife.
+In Christianity, a man may have only one wife.

 This is called Monotony.
 %
 In defeat, unbeatable; in victory, unbearable.
 This is called Monotony.
 %
 In defeat, unbeatable; in victory, unbearable.


@@ -25977,7 +25922,7 @@ which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.
                -- Mark Twain
 %
 In Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror,
                -- Mark Twain
 %
 In Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror,

-murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michaelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci
+murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci

 and the Renaissance.  In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had
 five hundred years of democracy and peace -- and what did they produce?
 The cuckoo-clock.
 and the Renaissance.  In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had
 five hundred years of democracy and peace -- and what did they produce?
 The cuckoo-clock.


@@ -26163,12 +26108,8 @@ this was for practice; then he made school boards.
 In the force if Yoda's so strong, construct a sentence with words in
 the proper order then why can't he?
 %
 In the force if Yoda's so strong, construct a sentence with words in
 the proper order then why can't he?
 %

-In the force if Yoda's so strong, construct a sentence with words in
-the proper order then why can't he?
-
-

 I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah
 I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah

-Where it bubbles all the time like a giant cabinet soda
+Where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda

        S-O-D-A soda
 I saw the little runt sitting there on a log
 I asked him his name and in a raspy voice he said Yoda
        S-O-D-A soda
 I saw the little runt sitting there on a log
 I asked him his name and in a raspy voice he said Yoda


@@ -26180,7 +26121,7 @@ A guy who looks like a Muppet but he's wrinkled and green
 Well I'm not dumb but I can't understand
 How he can raise me in the air just by raising his hand
        Oh my Yoda, Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda, Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda
 Well I'm not dumb but I can't understand
 How he can raise me in the air just by raising his hand
        Oh my Yoda, Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda, Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda

-               -- The STAR WARS Song, to "Lola", by the Kinks
+               -- "Yoda" by "Weird Al" Yankovic, to "Lola", by the Kinks

 %
 In the future, there will be fewer but better Russians.
                -- Joseph Stalin
 %
 In the future, there will be fewer but better Russians.
                -- Joseph Stalin


@@ -26212,7 +26153,7 @@ the east is the Easter Bunny, and 100 feet to the west is Santa Claus.
 Q:     Who gets to the pot of gold first?
 A:     The dumb manager.  All the rest are myths.
 %
 Q:     Who gets to the pot of gold first?
 A:     The dumb manager.  All the rest are myths.
 %

-In the midst of one of the wildest parties he'd ever been to, the young man 
+In the midst of one of the wildest parties he'd ever been to, the young man

 noticed a very prim and pretty girl sitting quietly apart from the rest of
 the revelers.  Approaching her, he introduced himself and, after some quiet
 conversation, said, "I'm afraid you and I don't really fit in with this
 noticed a very prim and pretty girl sitting quietly apart from the rest of
 the revelers.  Approaching her, he introduced himself and, after some quiet
 conversation, said, "I'm afraid you and I don't really fit in with this


@@ -26363,7 +26304,7 @@ Increased knowledge will help you now.
 Have mate's phone bugged.
 %
 INCUMBENT:
 Have mate's phone bugged.
 %
 INCUMBENT:

-       Person of livliest interest to the outcumbents.
+       Person of liveliest interest to the outcumbents.

 %
 Indecision is the true basis for flexibility.
 %
 %
 Indecision is the true basis for flexibility.
 %


@@ -26430,7 +26371,7 @@ Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations
                It is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner if
                dressed as a man.
 
                It is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner if
                dressed as a man.
 

-       Above the enterance to a Cairo bar:
+       Above the entrance to a Cairo bar:

                Unaccompanied ladies not admitted unless with husband
                or similar.
 
                Unaccompanied ladies not admitted unless with husband
                or similar.
 


@@ -26776,7 +26717,7 @@ a visiting uncle who's rich!
 %
 It happened long ago
 In the new magic land
 %
 It happened long ago
 In the new magic land

-The Indians and the buffalo    
+The Indians and the buffalo

 Existed hand in hand
 The Indians needed food
 They need skins for a roof
 Existed hand in hand
 The Indians needed food
 They need skins for a roof


@@ -26879,7 +26820,7 @@ three more than the schedule allowed.
        The control program manager had 150 men.  He asserted that they
 could prepare the specifications, with the architecture team coordinating;
 it would be well-done and practical, and he could do it on schedule.
        The control program manager had 150 men.  He asserted that they
 could prepare the specifications, with the architecture team coordinating;
 it would be well-done and practical, and he could do it on schedule.

-Futhermore, if the architecture team did it, his 150 men would sit twiddling
+Furthermore, if the architecture team did it, his 150 men would sit twiddling

 their thumbs for ten months.
        To this the architecture manager responded that if I gave the control
 program team the responsibility, the result would not in fact be on time,
 their thumbs for ten months.
        To this the architecture manager responded that if I gave the control
 program team the responsibility, the result would not in fact be on time,


@@ -26897,7 +26838,7 @@ What fun is there in making plans, acquiring discipline in organizing
 thoughts, devoting attention to detail, and learning to be self-critical?
                -- Alan Perlis
 %
 thoughts, devoting attention to detail, and learning to be self-critical?
                -- Alan Perlis
 %

-It is all right to hold a conversation, 
+It is all right to hold a conversation,

 but you should let go of it now and then.
                -- Richard Armour
 %
 but you should let go of it now and then.
                -- Richard Armour
 %


@@ -27016,7 +26957,7 @@ It is equally bad when one speeds on the guest unwilling to go, and when he
 holds back one who is hastening.  Rather one should befriend the guest who
 is there, but speed him when he wishes.
                -- Homer, "The Odyssey"
 holds back one who is hastening.  Rather one should befriend the guest who
 is there, but speed him when he wishes.
                -- Homer, "The Odyssey"

- 
+

        [Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
         referring to scheduling.]
 %
        [Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
         referring to scheduling.]
 %


@@ -27220,7 +27161,7 @@ mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
                -- Edsger W. Dijkstra, SIGPLAN Notices, Volume 17, Number 5
 %
 It is ridiculous to call this an industry.  This is not.  This is rat eat
                -- Edsger W. Dijkstra, SIGPLAN Notices, Volume 17, Number 5
 %
 It is ridiculous to call this an industry.  This is not.  This is rat eat

-rat, dog eat dog.  I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they 
+rat, dog eat dog.  I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they

 kill me.  You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.
                -- Ray Kroc, founder of McDonald's
 %
 kill me.  You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.
                -- Ray Kroc, founder of McDonald's
 %


@@ -27251,8 +27192,8 @@ It is so very hard to be an on-your-own-take-care-of-
 yourself-because-there-is-no-one-else-to-do-it-for-you grown up.
 %
 It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a
 yourself-because-there-is-no-one-else-to-do-it-for-you grown up.
 %
 It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a

-statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious 
-to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, 
+statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious
+to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look,

 which morally we can do.  To affect the quality of the day, that is the
 highest of arts. Every man is tasked to make his life, even in its details,
 worthy of the contemplation of his most elevated and critical hour.
 which morally we can do.  To affect the quality of the day, that is the
 highest of arts. Every man is tasked to make his life, even in its details,
 worthy of the contemplation of his most elevated and critical hour.


@@ -27359,7 +27300,7 @@ It may or may not be worthwhile, but it still has to be done.
 %
 It must be remembered that there is nothing more difficult to plan, more
 doubtful of success, nor more dangerous to manage, than the creation of
 %
 It must be remembered that there is nothing more difficult to plan, more
 doubtful of success, nor more dangerous to manage, than the creation of

-a new system.  For the initiator has the emnity of all who would profit
+a new system.  For the initiator has the enmity of all who would profit

 by the preservation of the old institutions and merely lukewarm defenders
 in those who would gain by the new ones.
                -- Niccolo Machiavelli, 1513
 by the preservation of the old institutions and merely lukewarm defenders
 in those who would gain by the new ones.
                -- Niccolo Machiavelli, 1513


@@ -27434,7 +27375,7 @@ may have saved a U.S. Army unit from heavy casualties during the Grenada
 military rescue/invasion. Major General David Nichols, Air Force ... said
 the Army unit was in a house surrounded by Cuban forces.  One soldier found
 a telephone and, using his credit card, called Ft. Bragg, N.C., telling Army
 military rescue/invasion. Major General David Nichols, Air Force ... said
 the Army unit was in a house surrounded by Cuban forces.  One soldier found
 a telephone and, using his credit card, called Ft. Bragg, N.C., telling Army

-officiers there of the perilous situation. The officers in turn called the
+officers there of the perilous situation. The officers in turn called the

 Air Force, which sent in gunships to scatter the Cubans and relieve the unit.
                -- Aviation Week and Space Technology
 %
 Air Force, which sent in gunships to scatter the Cubans and relieve the unit.
                -- Aviation Week and Space Technology
 %


@@ -27558,7 +27499,7 @@ and party!
 It's a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word.
                -- Andrew Jackson
 %
 It's a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word.
                -- Andrew Jackson
 %

-It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, and I'm wearing Milkbone underware.
+It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, and I'm wearing Milkbone underwear.

                -- Cheers
 %
 It's a naive, domestic operating system without any
                -- Cheers
 %
 It's a naive, domestic operating system without any


@@ -27579,7 +27520,7 @@ It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.
                -- Mick Jagger
 %
 "It's all so painfully empty and lonesome...  I don't think I can stand
                -- Mick Jagger
 %
 "It's all so painfully empty and lonesome...  I don't think I can stand

-any more of it... the whole dreadful way we are born, die, and are 
+any more of it... the whole dreadful way we are born, die, and are

 never missed.  The fact there is *nobody*... nobody really...  We come
 out of a yawning tomb of flesh and sink back finally into another tomb.
 What is the point of it all?  Who thought up this sickening circle of
 never missed.  The fact there is *nobody*... nobody really...  We come
 out of a yawning tomb of flesh and sink back finally into another tomb.
 What is the point of it all?  Who thought up this sickening circle of


@@ -28075,7 +28016,7 @@ Her voice was little more than a whisper.
        "Joe, darling," she breathed, "I've got a confession to make
 before I go.  I ... I'm the one who took the $10,000 from your safe...
 I spent it on a fling with your best friend, Charles.  And it was I who
        "Joe, darling," she breathed, "I've got a confession to make
 before I go.  I ... I'm the one who took the $10,000 from your safe...
 I spent it on a fling with your best friend, Charles.  And it was I who

-forced your mistress to leave the city.  And I am the one who reported 
+forced your mistress to leave the city.  And I am the one who reported

 your income-tax evasion to the I.R.S..."
        "That's all right, dearest, don't give it a second thought,"
 whispered Joe. "I'm the one who poisoned you."
 your income-tax evasion to the I.R.S..."
        "That's all right, dearest, don't give it a second thought,"
 whispered Joe. "I'm the one who poisoned you."


@@ -28312,7 +28253,7 @@ Karlson's Theorem of Snack Food Packages:
 For all P, where P is a package of snack food, P is a SINGLE-SERVING
 package of snack food.
 
 For all P, where P is a package of snack food, P is a SINGLE-SERVING
 package of snack food.
 

-Gibson the Cat's Corrolary:
+Gibson the Cat's Corollary:

 
 For all L, where L is a package of lunch meat, L is Gibson's package
 of lunch meat.
 
 For all L, where L is a package of lunch meat, L is Gibson's package
 of lunch meat.


@@ -28633,7 +28574,7 @@ LACTOMANGULATION:
 La-dee-dee, la-dee-dah.
 %
 Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps,
 La-dee-dee, la-dee-dah.
 %
 Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps,

-Cross-eyed mosquitos and bowlegged ants,
+Cross-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants,

 I come before you to stand behind you
 To tell you of something I know nothing about.
 Next Thursday (which is good Friday),
 I come before you to stand behind you
 To tell you of something I know nothing about.
 Next Thursday (which is good Friday),


@@ -28771,7 +28712,7 @@ Last night the power went out.  Good thing my camera had a flash....
 The neighbors thought it was lightning in my house, so they called the cops.
                -- Stephen Wright
 %
 The neighbors thought it was lightning in my house, so they called the cops.
                -- Stephen Wright
 %

-Last week a cop stopped me in my car.  He asked me if I had a police record.  
+Last week a cop stopped me in my car.  He asked me if I had a police record.

 I said, no, but I have the new DEVO album.    Cops have no sense of humor.
 %
 Last week's pet, this week's special.
 I said, no, but I have the new DEVO album.    Cops have no sense of humor.
 %
 Last week's pet, this week's special.


@@ -29146,7 +29087,7 @@ Lewis's Law of Travel:
        The first piece of luggage out of the
        chute doesn't belong to anyone, ever.
 %
        The first piece of luggage out of the
        chute doesn't belong to anyone, ever.
 %

-L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare.  
+L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare.

                -- L. Pasteur
 %
 LIAR:
                -- L. Pasteur
 %
 LIAR:


@@ -29817,7 +29758,7 @@ Lots of folks are forced to skimp to support a government that won't.
 Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.
                -- Frank Hubbard
 %
 Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.
                -- Frank Hubbard
 %

-Lots of girls can be had for a song.  
+Lots of girls can be had for a song.

 Unfortunately, it often turns out to be the wedding march.
 %
 Louie Louie, me gotta go
 Unfortunately, it often turns out to be the wedding march.
 %
 Louie Louie, me gotta go


@@ -30579,8 +30520,8 @@ chopsticks.  It looks easy until you try it.
 Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
                -- Baskins
 %
 Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
                -- Baskins
 %

-Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucine, but sharing the
-burden of finding the fettucine restaurant in the first place.
+Marriage is not merely sharing the fettuccine, but sharing the
+burden of finding the fettuccine restaurant in the first place.

                -- Calvin Trillin
 %
 Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
                -- Calvin Trillin
 %
 Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.


@@ -30702,7 +30643,7 @@ Mathematics deals exclusively with the relations of concepts
 to each other without consideration of their relation to experience.
                -- Albert Einstein
 %
 to each other without consideration of their relation to experience.
                -- Albert Einstein
 %

-Mathematics is the only science where one never knows what 
+Mathematics is the only science where one never knows what

 one is talking about nor whether what is said is true.
                -- Russell
 %
 one is talking about nor whether what is said is true.
                -- Russell
 %


@@ -30759,7 +30700,7 @@ May you have many beautiful and obedient daughters.
 May you have many handsome and obedient sons.
 %
 May you have warm words on a cold evening,
 May you have many handsome and obedient sons.
 %
 May you have warm words on a cold evening,

-a full mooon on a dark night,
+a full moon on a dark night,

 and a smooth road all the way to your door.
 %
 May you live in uninteresting times.
 and a smooth road all the way to your door.
 %
 May you live in uninteresting times.


@@ -30793,7 +30734,7 @@ Maybe you can't buy happiness, but
 these days you can certainly charge it.
 %
 May's Law:
 these days you can certainly charge it.
 %
 May's Law:

-       The quality of correlation is inversly proportional to the density
+       The quality of correlation is inveresly proportional to the density

        of control.  (The fewer the data points, the smoother the curves.)
 %
 McDonald's -- Because you're worth it.
        of control.  (The fewer the data points, the smoother the curves.)
 %
 McDonald's -- Because you're worth it.


@@ -31420,7 +31361,7 @@ Most burning issues generate far more heat than light.
 %
 Most folks they like the daytime,
        'cause they like to see the shining sun.
 %
 Most folks they like the daytime,
        'cause they like to see the shining sun.

-They're up in the morning, 
+They're up in the morning,

        off and a-running till they're too tired for having fun.
 But when the sun goes down,
        and the bright lights shine, my daytime has just begun.
        off and a-running till they're too tired for having fun.
 But when the sun goes down,
        and the bright lights shine, my daytime has just begun.


@@ -31709,7 +31650,7 @@ said, "So will you."
 My brain is my second favorite organ.
                -- Woody Allen
 %
 My brain is my second favorite organ.
                -- Woody Allen
 %

-My brother sent me a postcard the other day with this big sattelite photo
+My brother sent me a postcard the other day with this big satellite photo

 of the entire earth on it. On the back it said: "Wish you were here".
                -- Steven Wright
 %
 of the entire earth on it. On the back it said: "Wish you were here".
                -- Steven Wright
 %


@@ -31722,7 +31663,7 @@ Yea, tho I walk through the valley of surprise quizzes,
        I will fear no prof, for my calculator is there to hearten me.
 It prepareth a log table to comfort me, it prepareth an
        arc sin for me in the presence of my teachers.
        I will fear no prof, for my calculator is there to hearten me.
 It prepareth a log table to comfort me, it prepareth an
        arc sin for me in the presence of my teachers.

-It annoints my homework with correct solutions, my interpolations are
+It anoints my homework with correct solutions, my interpolations are

        over.
 Surely, both precision and accuracy shall follow me all the days of my
        life, and I shall dwell in the house of Texas instruments forever.
        over.
 Surely, both precision and accuracy shall follow me all the days of my
        life, and I shall dwell in the house of Texas instruments forever.


@@ -31753,7 +31694,7 @@ I drowned her in a cask of rum,
 And so made sure that she would stay
 In better spirits night and day.
 %
 And so made sure that she would stay
 In better spirits night and day.
 %

-My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four.  
+My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four.

 Unless there are three other people.
                -- Orson Welles
 %
 Unless there are three other people.
                -- Orson Welles
 %


@@ -32458,12 +32399,12 @@ Flyin' in from London to your door
 New York-- lookin' down on Central Park
 Where they say you should not wander after dark.
 New York.
 New York-- lookin' down on Central Park
 Where they say you should not wander after dark.
 New York.

-               -- Simon and Garfunkle
+               -- Simon and Garfunkel

 %
 New York's got the ways and means, just won't let you be.
 %
 Newlan's Truism:
 %
 New York's got the ways and means, just won't let you be.
 %
 Newlan's Truism:

-       An "acceptable" level of unemployment means that the 
+       An "acceptable" level of unemployment means that the

        government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.
 %
 Newman's Discovery:
        government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.
 %
 Newman's Discovery:


@@ -33026,11 +32967,11 @@ None love the bearer of bad news.
                -- Sophocles
 %
 None of our men are "experts."  We have most unfortunately found it necessary
                -- Sophocles
 %
 None of our men are "experts."  We have most unfortunately found it necessary

-to get rid of a man as soon as he thinks himself an expert -- because no one 
-ever considers himself expert if he really knows his job.  A man who knows a 
-job sees so much more to be done than he has done, that he is always pressing 
-forward and never gives up an instant of thought to how good and how efficient 
-he is.  Thinking always ahead, thinking always of trying to do more, brings a 
+to get rid of a man as soon as he thinks himself an expert -- because no one
+ever considers himself expert if he really knows his job.  A man who knows a
+job sees so much more to be done than he has done, that he is always pressing
+forward and never gives up an instant of thought to how good and how efficient
+he is.  Thinking always ahead, thinking always of trying to do more, brings a

 state of mind in which nothing is impossible. The moment one gets into the
 "expert" state of mind a great number of things become impossible.
                -- From Henry Ford Sr., "My Life and Work"
 state of mind in which nothing is impossible. The moment one gets into the
 "expert" state of mind a great number of things become impossible.
                -- From Henry Ford Sr., "My Life and Work"


@@ -33193,7 +33134,7 @@ ugly and the paper is from the wrong kind of tree.
                -- Professor, EECS, George Washington University
 
 I'm looking forward to working with you on this next year.
                -- Professor, EECS, George Washington University
 
 I'm looking forward to working with you on this next year.

-               -- Professor, Harvard, on a  senior thesis.
+               -- Professor, Harvard, on a senior thesis.

 %
 Not only is UNIX dead, it's starting to smell really bad.
        -- Rob Pike
 %
 Not only is UNIX dead, it's starting to smell really bad.
        -- Rob Pike


@@ -33205,7 +33146,7 @@ serious drug collection the tendency is to push it as far as you can.
 Not to laugh, not to lament, not to curse, but to understand.
                -- Spinoza
 %
 Not to laugh, not to lament, not to curse, but to understand.
                -- Spinoza
 %

-NOTE:  No warranties, either express or implied, are hereby given. 
+NOTE:  No warranties, either express or implied, are hereby given.

 All software is supplied as is, without guarantee.  The user assumes
 all responsibility for damages resulting from the use of these
 features, including, but not limited to, frustration, disgust, system
 All software is supplied as is, without guarantee.  The user assumes
 all responsibility for damages resulting from the use of these
 features, including, but not limited to, frustration, disgust, system


@@ -33277,7 +33218,7 @@ Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.
 Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
                -- A.H. Weiler
 %
 Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
                -- A.H. Weiler
 %

-Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which 
+Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which

 millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth.
                -- Nero Wolfe
 %
 millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth.
                -- Nero Wolfe
 %


@@ -33523,7 +33464,7 @@ Talking politics and nuclear fission
 We see him and he's all washed up --
 Moving on into the body of a beetle
 Getting ready for a long long crawl
 We see him and he's all washed up --
 Moving on into the body of a beetle
 Getting ready for a long long crawl

-He  ain't nothing -- he ain't nothing at all...
+He ain't nothing -- he ain't nothing at all...

 
 Death and Money make their point once more
 In the shape of Philosophical assassins
 
 Death and Money make their point once more
 In the shape of Philosophical assassins


@@ -33539,7 +33480,7 @@ You got nothing -- you got nothing at all...
        It would take one shot -- to blow him away...
                -- Shriekback, "Gunning for the Buddah"
 %
        It would take one shot -- to blow him away...
                -- Shriekback, "Gunning for the Buddah"
 %

-Nuclear powered vacuuum cleaners will probably be a reality within 10 years.
+Nuclear powered vacuum cleaners will probably be a reality within 10 years.

                -- Alex Lewyt (President of the Lewyt Corporation,
                   manufacturers of vacuum cleaners), quoted in The New York
                   Times, June 10, 1955.
                -- Alex Lewyt (President of the Lewyt Corporation,
                   manufacturers of vacuum cleaners), quoted in The New York
                   Times, June 10, 1955.


@@ -33964,7 +33905,7 @@ the code over again, since I also removed the source.
 %
 Old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill.
 %
 %
 Old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill.
 %

-Old age is always fifteen years old than I am.
+Old age is always fifteen years older than I am.

                -- B. Baruch
 %
 Old age is the harbor of all ills.
                -- B. Baruch
 %
 Old age is the harbor of all ills.


@@ -34112,7 +34053,7 @@ held captive by his unblinking eye.
 Three golden orbs stand watch;
 one each to toll the day, hour, minute
 until predestiny decrees his reawakening.
 Three golden orbs stand watch;
 one each to toll the day, hour, minute
 until predestiny decrees his reawakening.

-When that feared moment arives,
+When that feared moment arrives,

 "Ask not for whom the bell tolls,
 It tolls for thee."
                -- "I extended the loan on your Camera, at the Pine
 "Ask not for whom the bell tolls,
 It tolls for thee."
                -- "I extended the loan on your Camera, at the Pine


@@ -34157,7 +34098,7 @@ mistress".
 Once harm has been done, even a fool understands it.
                -- Homer
 %
 Once harm has been done, even a fool understands it.
                -- Homer
 %

-Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his 
+Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his

 roars.  Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the
 forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind
 the railroad yards."
 roars.  Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the
 forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind
 the railroad yards."


@@ -34227,7 +34168,7 @@ You must mind the file protections and not snoop around,
        Or the bio bug'll getcha and bring the system down!
 %
 Once there was this conductor see, who had a bass problem.  You see, during
        Or the bio bug'll getcha and bring the system down!
 %
 Once there was this conductor see, who had a bass problem.  You see, during

-a portion of Beethovan's Ninth Symphony in which there are no bass violin
+a portion of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony in which there are no bass violin

 parts, one of the bassists always passed a bottle of scotch around.  So,
 to remind himself that the basses usually required an extra cue towards the
 end of the symphony, the conductor would fasten a piece of string around the
 parts, one of the bassists always passed a bottle of scotch around.  So,
 to remind himself that the basses usually required an extra cue towards the
 end of the symphony, the conductor would fasten a piece of string around the


@@ -34246,7 +34187,7 @@ just as likely remove your head with one swat of a paw.  However, the family
 of these unfortunate would-be knights was compensated with a beautiful
 sheepdog from the royal kennels, which was itself a fairly valuable
 possession.  And the moral of the story is:
 of these unfortunate would-be knights was compensated with a beautiful
 sheepdog from the royal kennels, which was itself a fairly valuable
 possession.  And the moral of the story is:

- 
+

 The mourning after a terrible knight, nothing beats the dog of the bear that
 hit you.
 %
 The mourning after a terrible knight, nothing beats the dog of the bear that
 hit you.
 %


@@ -34255,7 +34196,7 @@ While you pondered sentient and crystalline,
 Over many a broken and subordinate
 Volume of gnarly lore,
 While I pestered, nearly singing,
 Over many a broken and subordinate
 Volume of gnarly lore,
 While I pestered, nearly singing,

-Sudddenly there came a hewing,
+Suddenly there came a hewing,

 As of someone profusely skulking,
 Skulking at my chamber door.
 %
 As of someone profusely skulking,
 Skulking at my chamber door.
 %


@@ -34492,7 +34433,7 @@ simply amazing.  God is an extremely uneven writer, but when He's good,
 nobody can touch him.
                -- John Gardner, NYT Book Review, Jan. 1983
 %
 nobody can touch him.
                -- John Gardner, NYT Book Review, Jan. 1983
 %

-One of the chief duties of the mathematician in acting as an 
+One of the chief duties of the mathematician in acting as an

 advisor... is to discourage... from expecting too much from
 mathematics.
                -- N. Wiener
 advisor... is to discourage... from expecting too much from
 mathematics.
                -- N. Wiener


@@ -34719,13 +34660,13 @@ smiles back at the rear of an elephant.
 Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.
                -- Baba Ram Dass
 %
 Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.
                -- Baba Ram Dass
 %

-Only the fittest survive. The vanquished acknowledge their unworthiness by 
-placing a classified ad with the ritual phrase "must sell -- best offer," 
+Only the fittest survive. The vanquished acknowledge their unworthiness by
+placing a classified ad with the ritual phrase "must sell -- best offer,"

 and thereafter dwell in infamy, relegated to discussing gas mileage and lawn
 and thereafter dwell in infamy, relegated to discussing gas mileage and lawn

-food.  But if successful, you join the elite sodality that spends hours 
+food.  But if successful, you join the elite sodality that spends hours

 unpurifying the dialect of the tribe with arcane talk of bits and bytes, RAMS
 unpurifying the dialect of the tribe with arcane talk of bits and bytes, RAMS

-and ROMS, hard disks and baud rates. Are you obnoxious, obsessed?  It's a 
-modest price to pay.  For you have tapped into the same awesome primal power 
+and ROMS, hard disks and baud rates. Are you obnoxious, obsessed?  It's a
+modest price to pay.  For you have tapped into the same awesome primal power

 that produces credit-card billing errors and lost plane reservations.  Hail,
 postindustrial warrior, subduer of Bounceoids, pride of the cosmos, keeper of
 the silicone creed: Computo, ergo sum.  The force is with you -- at 110 volts.
 that produces credit-card billing errors and lost plane reservations.  Hail,
 postindustrial warrior, subduer of Bounceoids, pride of the cosmos, keeper of
 the silicone creed: Computo, ergo sum.  The force is with you -- at 110 volts.


@@ -34819,7 +34760,7 @@ Oral sex is like being attacked by a giant snail.
 Orcs really aren't so bad (if you use lots of catsup).
 %
 Order and simplification are the first steps toward
 Orcs really aren't so bad (if you use lots of catsup).
 %
 Order and simplification are the first steps toward

-mastery of  a subject -- the actual enemy is the unknown.
+mastery of a subject -- the actual enemy is the unknown.

                -- Thomas Mann
 %
 OREGON:
                -- Thomas Mann
 %
 OREGON:


@@ -34878,7 +34819,7 @@ His device reportedly will save the government more than $6 million a year
 by replacing a more expensive helicopter maintenance tool with his own,
 home-made, hand-held model.
 
 by replacing a more expensive helicopter maintenance tool with his own,
 home-made, hand-held model.
 

-Not suprisingly, we also have a couple of money-saving ideas that we submit
+Not surprisingly, we also have a couple of money-saving ideas that we submit

 to the Pentagon free of charge:
 
        a. Don't kill anybody.
 to the Pentagon free of charge:
 
        a. Don't kill anybody.


@@ -34902,7 +34843,7 @@ what it means to be a programmer."
 Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear -- kept us in a
 continuous stampede of patriotic fervor -- with the cry of grave national
 emergency...  Always there has been some terrible evil to gobble us up if we
 Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear -- kept us in a
 continuous stampede of patriotic fervor -- with the cry of grave national
 emergency...  Always there has been some terrible evil to gobble us up if we

-did not blindly rally behind it  by furnishing the exorbitant sums demanded.
+did not blindly rally behind it by furnishing the exorbitant sums demanded.

 Yet, in retrospect, these disasters seem never to have happened, seem never
 to have been quite real.
                -- General Douglas MacArthur, 1957
 Yet, in retrospect, these disasters seem never to have happened, seem never
 to have been quite real.
                -- General Douglas MacArthur, 1957


@@ -35072,7 +35013,7 @@ Pandora's Rule:
 %
 panic: can't find /
 %
 %
 panic: can't find /
 %

-panic: kernal segmentation violation. core dumped              (only kidding)
+panic: kernel segmentation violation. core dumped              (only kidding)

 %
 Paprika Measure:
 
 %
 Paprika Measure:
 


@@ -35354,7 +35295,7 @@ People love high ideals, but they got to be about 33-percent plausible.
 %
 People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war, or before an
 election.
 %
 People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war, or before an
 election.

-               -- Otto Von Bismarck
+               -- Otto von Bismarck

 %
 People of privilege will always risk their complete destruction
 rather than surrender any material part of their advantage.
 %
 People of privilege will always risk their complete destruction
 rather than surrender any material part of their advantage.


@@ -35634,7 +35575,7 @@ pig, n:
        inferior in scope, for it balks at pig.
                -- Ambrose Bierce
 %
        inferior in scope, for it balks at pig.
                -- Ambrose Bierce
 %

-Pilfering Treasure property is paticularly dangerous: big thieves are
+Pilfering Treasure property is particularly dangerous: big thieves are

 ruthless in punishing little thieves.
                -- Diogenes
 %
 ruthless in punishing little thieves.
                -- Diogenes
 %


@@ -35651,7 +35592,7 @@ So I piped with merry cheer.
 So I piped: he wept to hear.
                -- William Blake, "Songs of Innocence"
 %
 So I piped: he wept to hear.
                -- William Blake, "Songs of Innocence"
 %

-Pipo was born with few complications, but then the doctor accidently dropped
+Pipo was born with few complications, but then the doctor accidentally dropped

 the infant on her head provoking her drunken father to drag the physician
 outside where he would beat him to death with a live ocelot.
                -- Love and Rockets
 the infant on her head provoking her drunken father to drag the physician
 outside where he would beat him to death with a live ocelot.
                -- Love and Rockets


@@ -35890,7 +35831,7 @@ explain why it didn't happen.
                -- Winston Churchill
 %
 Politics, like religion, hold up the
                -- Winston Churchill
 %
 Politics, like religion, hold up the

-torches of matrydom to the reformers of error.
+torches of martyrdom to the reformers of error.

                -- Thomas Jefferson
 %
 Politics makes strange bedfellows, and journalism makes strange politics.
                -- Thomas Jefferson
 %
 Politics makes strange bedfellows, and journalism makes strange politics.


@@ -36062,7 +36003,7 @@ Preserve wildlife -- pickle a squirrel today!
 %
 Preserve Wildlife!  Throw a party today!
 %
 %
 Preserve Wildlife!  Throw a party today!
 %

-President Reagan has noted that there are too many economic 
+President Reagan has noted that there are too many economic

 pundits and forecasters and has decided on an excess prophets tax.
 %
 President Thieu says he'll quit if he doesn't get more than 50%
 pundits and forecasters and has decided on an excess prophets tax.
 %
 President Thieu says he'll quit if he doesn't get more than 50%


@@ -36193,9 +36134,9 @@ techniques are very popular, even the military use them.
 
 SAMPLE:  Proof of induction without proof of induction.
 
 
 SAMPLE:  Proof of induction without proof of induction.
 

-       We know it's true for n equal to 1.  Now assume that it's true 
-for every natural number less than n.  N is arbitrary, so we can take n 
-as large as we want.  If n is sufficiently large, the case of n+1 is 
+       We know it's true for n equal to 1.  Now assume that it's true
+for every natural number less than n.  N is arbitrary, so we can take n
+as large as we want.  If n is sufficiently large, the case of n+1 is

 trivially equivalent, so the only important n are n less than n.  We can
 take n = n (from above), so it's true for n+1 because it's just about n.
        QED.    (QED translates from the Latin as "So what?")
 trivially equivalent, so the only important n are n less than n.  We can
 take n = n (from above), so it's true for n+1 because it's just about n.
        QED.    (QED translates from the Latin as "So what?")


@@ -36206,7 +36147,7 @@ Proof techniques #2: Proof by Oddity.
 [2] They have two legs in back and fore legs in front.
 [3] This makes a total of six legs,
        which certainly is an odd number of legs for a horse.
 [2] They have two legs in back and fore legs in front.
 [3] This makes a total of six legs,
        which certainly is an odd number of legs for a horse.

-[4] But the only number that is both odd and even is infinity. 
+[4] But the only number that is both odd and even is infinity.

 [5] Therefore, horses must have an infinite number of legs.
 
 Topics is be covered in future issues include proof by:
 [5] Therefore, horses must have an infinite number of legs.
 
 Topics is be covered in future issues include proof by:


@@ -36236,13 +36177,13 @@ prototype, n.
        upgrade, corrected upgrade, etc.  Unlike its successors, the
        prototype is not expected to work.
 %
        upgrade, corrected upgrade, etc.  Unlike its successors, the
        prototype is not expected to work.
 %

-Providence New Jersey is one of the few cities 
+Providence New Jersey is one of the few cities

 where Velveeta cheese appears on the gourmet shelf.
 %
 Prunes give you a run for your money.
 %
 Pryor's Observation:
 where Velveeta cheese appears on the gourmet shelf.
 %
 Prunes give you a run for your money.
 %
 Pryor's Observation:

-       How long you live has nothing to do 
+       How long you live has nothing to do

        with how long you are going to be dead.
 %
 Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents'
        with how long you are going to be dead.
 %
 Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents'


@@ -36280,7 +36221,7 @@ Psychology.  Mind over matter.
 Mind under matter?  It doesn't matter.
 Never mind.
 %
 Mind under matter?  It doesn't matter.
 Never mind.
 %

-Public use of any portable music system is a 
+Public use of any portable music system is a

 virtually guaranteed indicator of sociopathic tendencies.
                -- Zoso
 %
 virtually guaranteed indicator of sociopathic tendencies.
                -- Zoso
 %


@@ -36578,7 +36519,7 @@ A:      Seven.  Scotty has to report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in
        the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to procure a light bulb
        from the natives, who, are friendly, but seem to be hiding something.
        Kirk, Spock, Bones, Yeoman Rand and two red shirt security officers
        the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to procure a light bulb
        from the natives, who, are friendly, but seem to be hiding something.
        Kirk, Spock, Bones, Yeoman Rand and two red shirt security officers

-       beam down to the planet, where the two security officers are promply
+       beam down to the planet, where the two security officers are promptly

        killed by the natives, and the rest of the landing party is captured.
        As something begins to develop between the Captain and Yeoman Rand,
        Scotty, back in orbit, is attacked by a Klingon destroyer and must
        killed by the natives, and the rest of the landing party is captured.
        As something begins to develop between the Captain and Yeoman Rand,
        Scotty, back in orbit, is attacked by a Klingon destroyer and must


@@ -36605,8 +36546,8 @@ Q:      "How many Romulans does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
 A:     "Twelve; one to screw the light-bulb in, and eleven to self-destruct
        the ship out of disgrace."
 
 A:     "Twelve; one to screw the light-bulb in, and eleven to self-destruct
        the ship out of disgrace."
 

-       [Warning: do not tell this joke to Romulans or else be ready for
-       a fight.  They consider this it to be a discrace, though it's
+       [Warning: do not tell this joke to Romulans unless ready for
+       a fight.  They consider it to be a disgrace, though it's

        pretty good for a LBJ.  Ed.]
 %
 Q:     How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
        pretty good for a LBJ.  Ed.]
 %
 Q:     How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?


@@ -36686,10 +36627,6 @@ A:     A dope ring.
 
 Q:     Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
 A:     To cover up the valve stem.
 
 Q:     Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
 A:     To cover up the valve stem.

-
-Q:     Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw
-       puzzle in only 6 months?
-A:     Because on the box it said "From 2-4 years".

 %
 Q:     What do you call a blind pre-historic animal?
 A:     Diyathinkhesaurus.
 %
 Q:     What do you call a blind pre-historic animal?
 A:     Diyathinkhesaurus.


@@ -36994,7 +36931,7 @@ A:      It wasn't IBM compatible.
 Q: What do you get when you cross a mobster with an international standard?
 A: You get someone who makes you an offer that you can't understand!
 %
 Q: What do you get when you cross a mobster with an international standard?
 A: You get someone who makes you an offer that you can't understand!
 %

-Q: What's the difference betweeen USL and the Graf Zeppelin?
+Q: What's the difference between USL and the Graf Zeppelin?

 A: The Graf Zeppelin represented cutting edge technology for its time.
 %
 Q: What's the difference between USL and the Titanic?
 A: The Graf Zeppelin represented cutting edge technology for its time.
 %
 Q: What's the difference between USL and the Titanic?


@@ -37072,7 +37009,7 @@ QOTD:
        I love your outfit, does it come in your size?
 %
 QOTD:
        I love your outfit, does it come in your size?
 %
 QOTD:

-       "I may not be able to walk, but I drive from the sitting posistion."
+       "I may not be able to walk, but I drive from the sitting position."

 %
 QOTD:
        "I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"
 %
 QOTD:
        "I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"


@@ -37091,7 +37028,7 @@ QOTD:
        horse with one of the horns broken off."
 %
 QOTD:
        horse with one of the horns broken off."
 %
 QOTD:

-       "I treat her like a throughbred, and she's STILL a nag!"
+       "I treat her like a thoroughbred, and she's STILL a nag!"

 %
 QOTD:
        "I tried buying a goat instead of a lawn tractor; had to return
 %
 QOTD:
        "I tried buying a goat instead of a lawn tractor; had to return


@@ -37222,7 +37159,7 @@ QOTD:
        Ludwig Boltzmann, who spend much of his life studying statistical
        mechanics died in 1906 by his own hand.  Paul Ehrenfest, carrying
        on the work, died similarly in 1933.  Now it is our turn.
        Ludwig Boltzmann, who spend much of his life studying statistical
        mechanics died in 1906 by his own hand.  Paul Ehrenfest, carrying
        on the work, died similarly in 1933.  Now it is our turn.

-               -- Goodstein, States of Matter 
+               -- Goodstein, States of Matter

 %
 QOTD:
        Money isn't everything, but at least it keeps the kids in touch.
 %
 QOTD:
        Money isn't everything, but at least it keeps the kids in touch.


@@ -37349,7 +37286,7 @@ QOTD:
 "It wouldn't have been anything, even if it were gonna be a thing."
 %
 QOTD:
 "It wouldn't have been anything, even if it were gonna be a thing."
 %
 QOTD:

-Lack of planning on your part doesn't consitute an emergency
+Lack of planning on your part doesn't constitute an emergency

 on my part.
 %
 QOTD:
 on my part.
 %
 QOTD:


@@ -37388,7 +37325,7 @@ Quark!  Quark!  Beware the quantum duck!
 %
 Queensboro president Donald Mannis, charged with receiving bribes in
 exchange for city contracts, resigned on Tuesday.  Mannis feels he must
 %
 Queensboro president Donald Mannis, charged with receiving bribes in
 exchange for city contracts, resigned on Tuesday.  Mannis feels he must

-devote more time to impending litigation, some of which might eminate
+devote more time to impending litigation, some of which might emanate

 from a recent statement he made comparing New York Mayor Ed Koch to
 Nazi Martin Bormann.  A spokesman from the Bormann estate said they are
 weighing the odds of a slander suit.  Mayor Koch could naturally be
 from a recent statement he made comparing New York Mayor Ed Koch to
 Nazi Martin Bormann.  A spokesman from the Bormann estate said they are
 weighing the odds of a slander suit.  Mayor Koch could naturally be


@@ -37418,7 +37355,7 @@ Questions are never indiscreet, answers sometimes are.
 %
 Quick!!  Act as if nothing has happened!
 %
 %
 Quick!!  Act as if nothing has happened!
 %

-Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur.
+Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.

 
 (Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.)
 %
 
 (Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.)
 %


@@ -37482,7 +37419,7 @@ when "How to Avoid Probate" was published?  Are they taking no-fault
 insurance lying down?  No way!  But at the current rate it won't be long
 before there are stacks of the "Transactions on Information Theory" at the
 A&P checkout counters.  Who's going to be impressed with us electrical
 insurance lying down?  No way!  But at the current rate it won't be long
 before there are stacks of the "Transactions on Information Theory" at the
 A&P checkout counters.  Who's going to be impressed with us electrical

-engineers then?  Are we, as the saying goes, giving away the store? 
+engineers then?  Are we, as the saying goes, giving away the store?

                -- Robert W. Lucky, IEEE president
 %
 Razors pain you;
                -- Robert W. Lucky, IEEE president
 %
 Razors pain you;


@@ -37529,7 +37466,7 @@ limitations, software doesn't.  It's a real shame that Turing machines are
 so poor at I/O.
 %
 Real computer scientists don't write code.  They occasionally tinker with
 so poor at I/O.
 %
 Real computer scientists don't write code.  They occasionally tinker with

-`programming systems', but those are so high level that they hardly count 
+`programming systems', but those are so high level that they hardly count

 (and rarely count accurately; precision is for applications).
 %
 Real computer scientists like having a computer on their desk, else how
 (and rarely count accurately; precision is for applications).
 %
 Real computer scientists like having a computer on their desk, else how


@@ -37742,7 +37679,7 @@ the first one.
 %
 "Remember, if it's being done correctly, here or abroad, it's
 *not* the U.S. Army doing it!"
 %
 "Remember, if it's being done correctly, here or abroad, it's
 *not* the U.S. Army doing it!"

-               -- Good Morning VietNam
+               -- Good Morning Vietnam

 %
 Remember kids, if there's a loaded gun in the room, be sure
 that you're the one holding it.
 %
 Remember kids, if there's a loaded gun in the room, be sure
 that you're the one holding it.


@@ -37786,7 +37723,7 @@ Remembering is for those who have forgotten.
 %
 Remove me from this land of slaves,
 Where all are fools, and all are knaves,
 %
 Remove me from this land of slaves,
 Where all are fools, and all are knaves,

-Where every knave and fool is bought, 
+Where every knave and fool is bought,

 Yet kindly sells himself for nought;
                -- Jonathan Swift
 %
 Yet kindly sells himself for nought;
                -- Jonathan Swift
 %


@@ -37868,9 +37805,9 @@ is to take the blame for your mistakes.  If they're smart, that is.
 Retirement means that when someone says "Have a nice day", you
 actually have a shot at it.
 %
 Retirement means that when someone says "Have a nice day", you
 actually have a shot at it.
 %

-Reunite Gondwondaland!
+Reunite Gondwanaland!

 %
 %

-Rev. Jim:      What does an amber light mean?                                 
+Rev. Jim:      What does an amber light mean?

 Bobby:         Slow down.
 Rev. Jim:      What...   does...  an...  amber...  light...  mean?
 Bobby:         Slow down.
 Bobby:         Slow down.
 Rev. Jim:      What...   does...  an...  amber...  light...  mean?
 Bobby:         Slow down.


@@ -38087,9 +38024,9 @@ Rules for Good Grammar #4.
 12:    Proofread your writing to see if you any words out.
 13:    Correct speling is essential.
 14:    A preposition is something you never end a sentence with.
 12:    Proofread your writing to see if you any words out.
 13:    Correct speling is essential.
 14:    A preposition is something you never end a sentence with.

-15:    While a transcendant vocabulary is laudable, one must be eternally
+15:    While a transcendent vocabulary is laudable, one must be eternally

        careful so that the calculated objective of communication does not
        careful so that the calculated objective of communication does not

-       become ensconsed in obscurity.  In other words, eschew obfuscation.
+       become ensconced in obscurity.  In other words, eschew obfuscation.

 %
 Rules for Writers:
        Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.  Don't use no double
 %
 Rules for Writers:
        Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.  Don't use no double


@@ -38467,7 +38404,7 @@ schlattwhapper, n:
                -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
 %
 Schmidt's Observation:
                -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
 %
 Schmidt's Observation:

-       All things being equal, a fat person  uses more soap
+       All things being equal, a fat person uses more soap

        than a thin person.
 %
 Science and religion are in full accord but
        than a thin person.
 %
 Science and religion are in full accord but


@@ -38524,11 +38461,11 @@ was a loud crash, and a bolt of lightning came down from the sky,
 struck the computers, and welded all the connections permanently
 together.  "There is now", came the reply.
 %
 struck the computers, and welded all the connections permanently
 together.  "There is now", came the reply.
 %

-Scintilate, scintilate, globule vivific,
+Scintillate, scintillate, globule vivific,

 Fain how I pause at your nature specific,
 Loftily poised in the ether capacious,
 Highly resembling a gem carbonaceous.
 Fain how I pause at your nature specific,
 Loftily poised in the ether capacious,
 Highly resembling a gem carbonaceous.

-Scintilate, scintilate, globule vivific,
+Scintillate, scintillate, globule vivific,

 Fain how I pause at your nature specific.
 %
 Scintillation is not always identification for an auric substance.
 Fain how I pause at your nature specific.
 %
 Scintillation is not always identification for an auric substance.


@@ -38816,7 +38753,7 @@ Sex is an emotion in motion.
 %
 "Sex is as honest a product benefit for fragrance [perfume] as taste is
 for diet Coke."
 %
 "Sex is as honest a product benefit for fragrance [perfume] as taste is
 for diet Coke."

-               -- Malcolm DacDougall
+               -- Malcolm MacDougall

 %
 Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn.
                -- Garrison Keillor
 %
 Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn.
                -- Garrison Keillor


@@ -39502,7 +39439,7 @@ COMMUNISM:
        Give both to the government.  The government gives you milk.
 CAPITALISM:
        You sell one cow and buy a bull.
        Give both to the government.  The government gives you milk.
 CAPITALISM:
        You sell one cow and buy a bull.

-FACISM:
+FASCISM:

        You have two cows.  Give milk to the government.
        The government sells it.
 NAZISM:
        You have two cows.  Give milk to the government.
        The government sells it.
 NAZISM:


@@ -39516,7 +39453,7 @@ CONSERVATISM:
        Freeze the milk.  Embalm the cows.
 %
 Software production is assumed to be a line function, but it is run
        Freeze the milk.  Embalm the cows.
 %
 Software production is assumed to be a line function, but it is run

-like a staff function."  
+like a staff function."

                -- Paul Licker
 %
 Software suppliers are trying to make their software packages more
                -- Paul Licker
 %
 Software suppliers are trying to make their software packages more


@@ -39770,7 +39707,7 @@ Something better...
 
  1 (obvious): Excuse me.  Is that your nose or did a bus park on your face?
  2 (meteorological): Everybody take cover.  She's going to blow.
 
  1 (obvious): Excuse me.  Is that your nose or did a bus park on your face?
  2 (meteorological): Everybody take cover.  She's going to blow.

- 3 (fashionable): You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore 
+ 3 (fashionable): You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore

        something larger.  Like ... Wyoming.
  4 (personal): Well, here we are.  Just the three of us.
  5 (punctual): Alright gentlemen.  Your nose was on time but you were fifteen
        something larger.  Like ... Wyoming.
  4 (personal): Well, here we are.  Just the three of us.
  5 (punctual): Alright gentlemen.  Your nose was on time but you were fifteen


@@ -40015,7 +39952,7 @@ attack are 13562190123 to 1, Captain.
 Spock: We suffered 23 casualties in that attack, Captain.
 %
 SPOUSE:
 Spock: We suffered 23 casualties in that attack, Captain.
 %
 SPOUSE:

-       Someone who'll stand by you through all the 
+       Someone who'll stand by you through all the

        trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.
 %
 Spring is here, spring is here,
        trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.
 %
 Spring is here, spring is here,


@@ -40311,9 +40248,6 @@ made of things.
 %
 Success is something I will dress for when I get there, and not until.
 %
 %
 Success is something I will dress for when I get there, and not until.
 %

-Success is the sole earthly judge of right and wrong.
-               -- Adolph Hitler, "Mein Kampf"
-%

 Succumb to natural tendencies.  Be hateful and boring.
 %
 Such a fine first dream!
 Succumb to natural tendencies.  Be hateful and boring.
 %
 Such a fine first dream!


@@ -40525,7 +40459,7 @@ Fault:                  You have fallen forward.
 Action Required:       See above.
 
 Symptom:               Opposite wall covered with acoustic tile and several
 Action Required:       See above.
 
 Symptom:               Opposite wall covered with acoustic tile and several

-                       flourescent light strips.
+                       fluorescent light strips.

 Fault:                 You have fallen over backward.
 Action Required:       If your glass is full and no one is standing on your
                        drinking arm, stay put.  If not, get someone to help
 Fault:                 You have fallen over backward.
 Action Required:       If your glass is full and no one is standing on your
                        drinking arm, stay put.  If not, get someone to help


@@ -40707,7 +40641,7 @@ Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
 %
 TCP/IP Slang Glossary, #1:
 
 %
 TCP/IP Slang Glossary, #1:
 

-Gong, n: Medieval term for privvy, or what pased for them in that era.
+Gong, n: Medieval term for privvy, or what passed for them in that era.

 Today used whimsically to describe the aftermath of a bogon attack. Think
 of our community as the Galapagos of the English language.
 
 Today used whimsically to describe the aftermath of a bogon attack. Think
 of our community as the Galapagos of the English language.
 


@@ -40925,9 +40859,6 @@ called you from here."
 Texas is Hell on woman and horses.
                -- Wayne Oakes
 %
 Texas is Hell on woman and horses.
                -- Wayne Oakes
 %

-Thank God I've always avoided persecuting my enemies.
-               -- Adolf Hitler
-%

 Thank you for observing all safety precautions.
 %
 That all men should be brothers is the dream of people who have no brothers.
 Thank you for observing all safety precautions.
 %
 That all men should be brothers is the dream of people who have no brothers.


@@ -41264,10 +41195,11 @@ The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that
 carries any reward.
                -- John Maynard Keynes
 %
 carries any reward.
                -- John Maynard Keynes
 %

-The bank called to tell me that I'm overdrawn,
-Some freaks are burning crosses out on my front lawn,
-And I *can't*believe* it, all the Cheetos are gone,
-       It's just ONE OF THOSE DAYS!
+The bank called me up and told me I'm overdrawn,
+Some freaks are burnin' crosses out on my front lawn,
+And I can't believe it, all the Cheetos are gone,
+       It's just, just one of those, one of those days,
+       Just one of those, one of those days

                -- Weird Al Yankovic, "One of Those Days"
 %
 The bank sent our statement this morning,
                -- Weird Al Yankovic, "One of Those Days"
 %
 The bank sent our statement this morning,


@@ -41497,10 +41429,6 @@ The Briggs - Chase Law of Program Development:
 %
 The British are coming!  The British are coming!
 %
 %
 The British are coming!  The British are coming!
 %

-The broad mass of a nation... will more easily
-fall victim to a big lie than to a small one.
-               -- Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf"
-%

 The brotherhood of man is not a mere poet's dream; it is a most depressing
 and humiliating reality.
                -- Oscar Wilde
 The brotherhood of man is not a mere poet's dream; it is a most depressing
 and humiliating reality.
                -- Oscar Wilde


@@ -41723,7 +41651,7 @@ The course of true anything never does run smooth.
 The courtroom was pregnant (pun intended) with anxious silence as the
 judge solemnly considered his verdict in the paternity suit before him.
 Suddenly, he reached into the folds of his robes, drew out a cigar and
 The courtroom was pregnant (pun intended) with anxious silence as the
 judge solemnly considered his verdict in the paternity suit before him.
 Suddenly, he reached into the folds of his robes, drew out a cigar and

-cermoniously handed it to the defendant.
+ceremoniously handed it to the defendant.

        "Congratulations!" declaimed the jurist.  "You have just become a
 father!"
 %
        "Congratulations!" declaimed the jurist.  "You have just become a
 father!"
 %


@@ -41769,8 +41697,8 @@ that it hammered out the treaty in one afternoon, but spent the last nine
 years arguing the Monty Hall and the three doors problem.
                -- Little known provisions of the START treaty by James Lileks
 %
 years arguing the Monty Hall and the three doors problem.
                -- Little known provisions of the START treaty by James Lileks
 %

-The day advanced as if to light some work of mine; it was morning, 
-and lo! now it is evening, and nothing memorable is accomplished.  
+The day advanced as if to light some work of mine; it was morning,
+and lo! now it is evening, and nothing memorable is accomplished.

                -- H.D. Thoreau
 %
 The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being
                -- H.D. Thoreau
 %
 The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being


@@ -41933,7 +41861,7 @@ and whole carloads of other foolish trumpery that we find in Christianity.
 %
 The door is the key.
 %
 %
 The door is the key.
 %

-The duck hunter trained his retriever to walk on water.  Eager to show off 
+The duck hunter trained his retriever to walk on water.  Eager to show off

 this amazing accomplishment, he asked a friend to go along on his next
 hunting trip.  Saying nothing, he fired his first shot and, as the duck fell,
 the dog walked on the surface of the water, retrieved the duck and returned
 this amazing accomplishment, he asked a friend to go along on his next
 hunting trip.  Saying nothing, he fired his first shot and, as the duck fell,
 the dog walked on the surface of the water, retrieved the duck and returned


@@ -41966,7 +41894,7 @@ teaches me to suspect that my own is also."
 or to weaken it.  I am not able to believe one's religion can affect his
 hereafter one way or the other, no matter what that religion may be.
 But it may easily be a great comfort to him in this life -- hence it is a
 or to weaken it.  I am not able to believe one's religion can affect his
 hereafter one way or the other, no matter what that religion may be.
 But it may easily be a great comfort to him in this life -- hence it is a

-valuable posession to him."
+valuable possession to him."

 
 "I do not see how eternal punishment hereafter could accomplish any good
 end, therefore I am not able to believe in it. To chasten a man in order
 
 "I do not see how eternal punishment hereafter could accomplish any good
 end, therefore I am not able to believe in it. To chasten a man in order


@@ -42131,7 +42059,7 @@ The faster I go, the behinder I get.
 %
 The Fastest Defeat In Chess
        The big name for us in the world of chess is Gibaud, a French chess
 %
 The Fastest Defeat In Chess
        The big name for us in the world of chess is Gibaud, a French chess

-master.  
+master.

        In Paris during 1924 he was beaten after only four moves by a
 Monsieur Lazard.  Happily for posterity, the moves are recorded and so
 chess enthusiasts may reconstruct this magnificent collapse in the comfort
        In Paris during 1924 he was beaten after only four moves by a
 Monsieur Lazard.  Happily for posterity, the moves are recorded and so
 chess enthusiasts may reconstruct this magnificent collapse in the comfort


@@ -42196,7 +42124,7 @@ to man are contained in it.
                -- Abraham Lincoln
 
 ... the Bible ... is the one supreme source of revelation of the meaning of
                -- Abraham Lincoln
 
 ... the Bible ... is the one supreme source of revelation of the meaning of

-life, the nature of God and spirtual nature and need of men.  It is the only
+life, the nature of God and spiritual nature and need of men.  It is the only

 guide of life which really leads the spirit in the way of peace and salvation.
                -- Woodrow Wilson
 %
 guide of life which really leads the spirit in the way of peace and salvation.
                -- Woodrow Wilson
 %


@@ -42262,9 +42190,6 @@ I knit my brow and thought and thought, and in final perplexity gave up.
 The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist "Jack."
                -- H.L. Mencken
 %
 The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist "Jack."
                -- H.L. Mencken
 %

-The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
-               -- Ehrlich
-%

 The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
                -- Paul Erlich
 %
 The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
                -- Paul Erlich
 %


@@ -42329,7 +42254,7 @@ The fortune program is supported, in part, by user contributions
 and by a major grant from the National Endowment for the Inanities.
 %
 The founding fathers tried to set up a judicial system where the accused
 and by a major grant from the National Endowment for the Inanities.
 %
 The founding fathers tried to set up a judicial system where the accused

-received a fair trial, not a system to insure an acquittal on technicalities.
+received a fair trial, not a system to ensure an acquittal on technicalities.

 %
 The founding fathers tried to set up a system where a man got a fair
 trial, not a system to get let him get off on technicalities.
 %
 The founding fathers tried to set up a system where a man got a fair
 trial, not a system to get let him get off on technicalities.


@@ -42438,7 +42363,7 @@ You can live a life of fun.
 The good life was so elusive
 It really got me down
 I had to regain some confidence
 The good life was so elusive
 It really got me down
 I had to regain some confidence

-So I got into camaflouge
+So I got into camouflage

 %
 The good time is approaching,
 The season is at hand.
 %
 The good time is approaching,
 The season is at hand.


@@ -42635,9 +42560,9 @@ THEN -- MONROE!
 NOW -- McCLANAHAN!!!
                -- The Rotton Apple (1963), Rue McClanahan
 
 NOW -- McCLANAHAN!!!
                -- The Rotton Apple (1963), Rue McClanahan
 

-*NOT FOR SISSIES! DON'T COME IF YOU'RE CHICKEN! 
-A Horrifying Movie of Wierd Beauties and Shocking Monsters...
-1001 WIERDEST SCENES EVER!!  MOST SHOCKING THRILLER OF THE CENTURY!
+*NOT FOR SISSIES! DON'T COME IF YOU'RE CHICKEN!
+A Horrifying Movie of Weird Beauties and Shocking Monsters...
+1001 WEIRDEST SCENES EVER!!  MOST SHOCKING THRILLER OF THE CENTURY!

                -- Teenage Psycho meets Bloody Mary (1964)  (Alternate Title:
                   The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and
                   Became Mixed Up Zombies)
                -- Teenage Psycho meets Bloody Mary (1964)  (Alternate Title:
                   The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and
                   Became Mixed Up Zombies)


@@ -42736,7 +42661,7 @@ The nightmare terror of the slithering eye that unleashed agonizing
 horror on a screaming world!
                -- The Crawling Eye (1958)
 
 horror on a screaming world!
                -- The Crawling Eye (1958)
 

-SEE a female colossus... her mountainous torso, scyscraper limbs,
+SEE a female colossus... her mountainous torso, skyscraper limbs,

 giant desires!
                -- Attack of the Fifty-Foot Woman (1958)
 
 giant desires!
                -- Attack of the Fifty-Foot Woman (1958)
 


@@ -42754,7 +42679,7 @@ SEE Man-Fish Battle Shark-Man-Killer!
 See Jane Russell in 3-D; She'll Knock Both Your Eyes Out!
                -- The French Line (1954)
 
 See Jane Russell in 3-D; She'll Knock Both Your Eyes Out!
                -- The French Line (1954)
 

-See Jane Russell Shake Her Tamborines... and Drive Cornel WILDE!
+See Jane Russell Shake Her Tambourines... and Drive Cornel WILDE!

                -- Hot Blood (1956)
 %
 The Great Movie Posters:
                -- Hot Blood (1956)
 %
 The Great Movie Posters:


@@ -42799,13 +42724,13 @@ their wives and daughters to his arms.
 The greatest love is a mother's, then a dog's, then a sweetheart's.
                -- Polish proverb
 %
 The greatest love is a mother's, then a dog's, then a sweetheart's.
                -- Polish proverb
 %

-The Greatest Mathematical Error 
+The Greatest Mathematical Error

        The Mariner I space probe was launched from Cape Canaveral on 28
 July 1962 towards Venus.  After 13 minutes' flight a booster engine would
 give acceleration up to 25,820 mph; after 44 minutes 9,800 solar cells
 would unfold; after 80 days a computer would calculate the final course
        The Mariner I space probe was launched from Cape Canaveral on 28
 July 1962 towards Venus.  After 13 minutes' flight a booster engine would
 give acceleration up to 25,820 mph; after 44 minutes 9,800 solar cells
 would unfold; after 80 days a computer would calculate the final course

-corrections and after 100 days the craft would cirlce the unknown planet,
-scanning the mysterious cloud in which it is bathed.  
+corrections and after 100 days the craft would circle the unknown planet,
+scanning the mysterious cloud in which it is bathed.

        However, with an efficiency that is truly heartening, Mariner I
 plunged into the Atlantic Ocean only four minutes after takeoff.
        Inquiries later revealed that a minus sign had been omitted from
        However, with an efficiency that is truly heartening, Mariner I
 plunged into the Atlantic Ocean only four minutes after takeoff.
        Inquiries later revealed that a minus sign had been omitted from


@@ -42828,7 +42753,7 @@ The happiest time in any man's life is just after the first divorce.
                -- Galbraith
 %
 The happiest time of a person's life is after his first divorce.
                -- Galbraith
 %
 The happiest time of a person's life is after his first divorce.

-               -- J.K. Galbraith 
+               -- J.K. Galbraith

 %
 The hardest part of climbing the ladder of
 success is getting through the crowd at the bottom.
 %
 The hardest part of climbing the ladder of
 success is getting through the crowd at the bottom.


@@ -43015,7 +42940,7 @@ pointer and a mark.
 The introduction of a new kind of music must be shunned as imperiling
 the whole state, for styles of music are never disturbed without
 affecting the most important political institutions. ...  The new
 The introduction of a new kind of music must be shunned as imperiling
 the whole state, for styles of music are never disturbed without
 affecting the most important political institutions. ...  The new

-style, gradually gaining a lodgement, quitely insinuates itself into
+style, gradually gaining a lodgement, quietly insinuates itself into

 manners and customs, and from it ... goes on to attack laws and
 constitutions, displaying the utmost impudence, until it ends by
 overturning everything.
 manners and customs, and from it ... goes on to attack laws and
 constitutions, displaying the utmost impudence, until it ends by
 overturning everything.


@@ -43092,7 +43017,7 @@ A:      "Those are their guys. And all those little red specks running
        the dust clears."
 K:     "And?"
 A:     "If there are more red specks left than black specks, we win."
        the dust clears."
 K:     "And?"
 A:     "If there are more red specks left than black specks, we win."

-K:     "But what about the 
+K:     "But what about the

 ^#!!$% battle plan?"
 A:     "So far, it seems to be going according to specks."
 %
 ^#!!$% battle plan?"
 A:     "So far, it seems to be going according to specks."
 %


@@ -43210,7 +43135,7 @@ works of Shakespeare.
 legibility.  Betsy had either burned them or used them as pie bottoms.  The
 remaining three folios are now in the British Museum.
        The only comparable literary figure was the maid who in 1835 burned
 legibility.  Betsy had either burned them or used them as pie bottoms.  The
 remaining three folios are now in the British Museum.
        The only comparable literary figure was the maid who in 1835 burned

-the manuscript of the first volume of Thomas Carlyle's "The Hisory of the
+the manuscript of the first volume of Thomas Carlyle's "The History of the

 French Revolution", thinking it was wastepaper.
                -- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
 %
 French Revolution", thinking it was wastepaper.
                -- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
 %


@@ -43489,7 +43414,7 @@ The one that got away.
 The Man Who Almost Invented The Vacuum Cleaner
        The man officially credited with inventing the vacuum cleaner is
 Hubert Cecil Booth.  However, he got the idea from a man who almost
 The Man Who Almost Invented The Vacuum Cleaner
        The man officially credited with inventing the vacuum cleaner is
 Hubert Cecil Booth.  However, he got the idea from a man who almost

-invented it.  
+invented it.

        In 1901 Booth visited a London music-hall.  On the bill was an
 American inventor with his wonder machine for removing dust from carpets.
        The machine comprised a box about one foot square with a bag on top.
        In 1901 Booth visited a London music-hall.  On the bill was an
 American inventor with his wonder machine for removing dust from carpets.
        The machine comprised a box about one foot square with a bag on top.


@@ -43647,7 +43572,7 @@ The Modelski Chain Rule:
        thrashing anyway, just to show you mean business.
 %
 "The molars, I'm sure, will be all right, the molars can take care of
        thrashing anyway, just to show you mean business.
 %
 "The molars, I'm sure, will be all right, the molars can take care of

-themselves," the old man said, no longer to me.  "But what will become 
+themselves," the old man said, no longer to me.  "But what will become

 of the bicuspids?"
                -- The Old Man and his Bridge
 %
 of the bicuspids?"
                -- The Old Man and his Bridge
 %


@@ -43755,7 +43680,7 @@ the country is the one on which you resell it.
 The most difficult thing about surviving AIDS
 is trying to convince your parents that you're Haitian.
 %
 The most difficult thing about surviving AIDS
 is trying to convince your parents that you're Haitian.
 %

-The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a 
+The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a

 thing and to watch someone else doing it wrong, without commenting.
                -- T.H. White
 %
 thing and to watch someone else doing it wrong, without commenting.
                -- T.H. White
 %


@@ -43794,7 +43719,7 @@ The most important early product on the way
 to developing a good product is an imperfect version.
 %
 The most important service rendered by the press is that of educating
 to developing a good product is an imperfect version.
 %
 The most important service rendered by the press is that of educating

-people to approach printed matter with distrust. 
+people to approach printed matter with distrust.

 %
 The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman
 is that one of them be good at taking orders.
 %
 The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman
 is that one of them be good at taking orders.


@@ -43807,7 +43732,7 @@ The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money.
 %
 The most recent attempt to revive the moribund campus left, a national
 conference held at Rutgers University February 5-7, ended when the
 %
 The most recent attempt to revive the moribund campus left, a national
 conference held at Rutgers University February 5-7, ended when the

-participants decided that they were too racist to found a new national 
+participants decided that they were too racist to found a new national

 organization.
        The stated goal of the conference was the formation of a national
 organization that would "give expression to a shared consciousness."  The
 organization.
        The stated goal of the conference was the formation of a national
 organization that would "give expression to a shared consciousness."  The


@@ -44009,7 +43934,7 @@ they had just discovered that he lived in New Hampshire, not Vermont.
 taken another one of those damned Vermont winters!"
 %
 THE OLD POOL SHOOTER had won many a game in his life. But now it was time
 taken another one of those damned Vermont winters!"
 %
 THE OLD POOL SHOOTER had won many a game in his life. But now it was time

-to hang up the cue. When he did, all the other cues came crashing go the
+to hang up the cue. When he did, all the other cues came crashing to the

 floor.
 
 "Sorry," he said with a smile.
 floor.
 
 "Sorry," he said with a smile.


@@ -44017,7 +43942,7 @@ floor.
 %
 The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy.
 %
 %
 The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy.
 %

-The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes.  
+The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes.

 Let the reader catch his own breath.
                -- Elizabeth Clarkson Zwart
 %
 Let the reader catch his own breath.
                -- Elizabeth Clarkson Zwart
 %


@@ -44025,7 +43950,7 @@ The older I grow, the more I distrust the
 familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
                -- H.L. Mencken
 %
 familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
                -- H.L. Mencken
 %

-The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception a neccessity.
+The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception a necessity.

                -- Oscar Wilde
 %
 The one day you'd sell your soul for something, souls are a glut.
                -- Oscar Wilde
 %
 The one day you'd sell your soul for something, souls are a glut.


@@ -44200,7 +44125,7 @@ is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.
 The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
                -- Oscar Wilde
 %
 The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
                -- Oscar Wilde
 %

-The only way to keep you health is to eat what you don't want,
+The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want,

 drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
                -- Mark Twain
 %
 drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
                -- Mark Twain
 %


@@ -44254,18 +44179,18 @@ The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.
 %
 The other line moves faster.
 %
 %
 The other line moves faster.
 %

-The owner of a large furniture store in the mid-west arrived in France on 
+The owner of a large furniture store in the mid-west arrived in France on

 a buying trip.  As he was checking into a hotel he struck up an acquaintance
 with a beautiful young lady.  However, she only spoke French and he only spoke
 English, so each couldn't understand a word the other spoke.  He took out a
 pencil and a notebook and drew a picture of a coach.  She smiled, nodded her
 a buying trip.  As he was checking into a hotel he struck up an acquaintance
 with a beautiful young lady.  However, she only spoke French and he only spoke
 English, so each couldn't understand a word the other spoke.  He took out a
 pencil and a notebook and drew a picture of a coach.  She smiled, nodded her

-head and they went for a ride in the park.  Later, he drew a picture of a 
+head and they went for a ride in the park.  Later, he drew a picture of a

 table in a restaurant with a question mark and she nodded, so they went to
 dinner.  After dinner he sketched two dancers and she was delighted.  They
 table in a restaurant with a question mark and she nodded, so they went to
 dinner.  After dinner he sketched two dancers and she was delighted.  They

-went to several nightclubs, drank champagne, danced and had a glorious 
+went to several nightclubs, drank champagne, danced and had a glorious

 evening.  It had gotten quite late when she motioned for the pencil and drew
 a picture of a four-poster bed.  He was dumbfounded, and to this day has
 evening.  It had gotten quite late when she motioned for the pencil and drew
 a picture of a four-poster bed.  He was dumbfounded, and to this day has

-never be able to understand how she knew he was in the furniture business.
+never been able to understand how she knew he was in the furniture business.

 %
 The part of the world that people find most puzzling is the part called "Me".
 %
 %
 The part of the world that people find most puzzling is the part called "Me".
 %


@@ -44370,7 +44295,7 @@ begged that his life be spared.  When asked his reason, Sir John replied,
 worst poet in England."
                -- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
 %
 worst poet in England."
                -- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
 %

-The poetry of heroism appeals irresitably to those who don't go to a war,
+The poetry of heroism appeals irresistibly to those who don't go to a war,

 and even more so to those whom the war is making enormously wealthy."
                -- Celine
 %
 and even more so to those whom the war is making enormously wealthy."
                -- Celine
 %


@@ -44581,7 +44506,7 @@ illiterates can read.
                -- Alberto Moravia
 %
 The real man's Bloody Mary:
                -- Alberto Moravia
 %
 The real man's Bloody Mary:

-       Ingredients: vodka, tomato juice, Tobasco, Worcestershire 
+       Ingredients: vodka, tomato juice, Tabasco, Worcestershire

        sauce, A-1 steak sauce, ice, salt, pepper, celery.
 
        Fill a large tumbler with vodka.
        sauce, A-1 steak sauce, ice, salt, pepper, celery.
 
        Fill a large tumbler with vodka.


@@ -44623,7 +44548,7 @@ depends on the unreasonable man.
 The reasons that each of these countries has had to renege on its
 financial commitments were all somewhat different: Argentina because of
 a war, Poland because of its vast misguided overinvestment in heavy
 The reasons that each of these countries has had to renege on its
 financial commitments were all somewhat different: Argentina because of
 a war, Poland because of its vast misguided overinvestment in heavy

-industry, Honduras because the coffeee price went sour, Zaire because
+industry, Honduras because the coffee price went sour, Zaire because

 nobody in the government there has a clue as to how to run a country.
                -- Paul Erdman's Money Book
 %
 nobody in the government there has a clue as to how to run a country.
                -- Paul Erdman's Money Book
 %


@@ -44639,10 +44564,10 @@ The Reverend Henry Ward Beecher
 Called a hen a most elegant creature.
        The hen, pleased with that,
        Laid an egg in his hat --
 Called a hen a most elegant creature.
        The hen, pleased with that,
        Laid an egg in his hat --

-And thus did the hen reward Beecher. 
+And thus did the hen reward Beecher.

                -- Oliver Wendell Holmes
 %
                -- Oliver Wendell Holmes
 %

-The reverse side also has a reverse side.  
+The reverse side also has a reverse side.

                -- Japanese proverb
 %
 The revolution will not be televised.
                -- Japanese proverb
 %
 The revolution will not be televised.


@@ -44885,8 +44810,8 @@ The solution to a problem changes the nature of the problem.
 The somewhat old and crusty vicar was taking a well-earned retirement from
 his rather old and crusty parish.  As is usual in these cases, a locum was
 sent to cover the transition period.  This particular man was young and
 The somewhat old and crusty vicar was taking a well-earned retirement from
 his rather old and crusty parish.  As is usual in these cases, a locum was
 sent to cover the transition period.  This particular man was young and

-active, and had the strange notion that church should also be avtive and 
-exciting.  As a consequence he was more than a little dissapointed with the
+active, and had the strange notion that church should also be active and
+exciting.  As a consequence he was more than a little disappointed with the

 dull and tradition-bound church.  He decided to do something about it.
        For his first Sunday, he didn't wear the traditional robes and
 vestments, but lead the service wearing a nice 2-piece suit.  The congregation
 dull and tradition-bound church.  He decided to do something about it.
        For his first Sunday, he didn't wear the traditional robes and
 vestments, but lead the service wearing a nice 2-piece suit.  The congregation


@@ -44970,7 +44895,7 @@ Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.
 %
 The street preacher looked so baffled
 When I asked him why he dressed
 %
 The street preacher looked so baffled
 When I asked him why he dressed

-With forty pounds of headlines 
+With forty pounds of headlines

 Stapled to his chest.
 But he cursed me when I proved to him
 I said, "Not even you can hide.
 Stapled to his chest.
 But he cursed me when I proved to him
 I said, "Not even you can hide.


@@ -44987,10 +44912,10 @@ The strong give up and move on, while the weak give up and stay.
 %
 The strong individual loves the earth so much he lusts for recurrence.  He
 can smile in the face of the most terrible thought: meaningless, aimless
 %
 The strong individual loves the earth so much he lusts for recurrence.  He
 can smile in the face of the most terrible thought: meaningless, aimless

-existance recurring eternally.  The second characteristic of such a man is
+existence recurring eternally.  The second characteristic of such a man is

 that he has the strength to recognise -- and to live with the recognition --
 that the world is valueless in itself and that all values are human ones.
 that he has the strength to recognise -- and to live with the recognition --
 that the world is valueless in itself and that all values are human ones.

-He creates himself by fashoning his own values; he has the pride to live
+He creates himself by fashioning his own values; he has the pride to live

 by the values he wills.
                -- Nietzsche
 %
 by the values he wills.
                -- Nietzsche
 %


@@ -45072,7 +44997,7 @@ It came before the first kernel.
 %
 The tao that can be tar(1)ed
 is not the entire Tao.
 %
 The tao that can be tar(1)ed
 is not the entire Tao.

-The path that can be specified 
+The path that can be specified

 is not the Full Path.
 
 We declare the names
 is not the Full Path.
 
 We declare the names


@@ -45429,10 +45354,6 @@ The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.
 %
 The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.
 %
 %
 The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.
 %

-The very first essential for success is a perpetually
-constant and regular employment of violence.
-               -- Adolph Hitler, "Mein Kampf"
-%

 The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common.  Instead of
 altering their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their
 views ... which can be very uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the
 The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common.  Instead of
 altering their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their
 views ... which can be very uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the


@@ -45447,7 +45368,7 @@ The Vet Who Surprised A Cow
 surgeon was required to treat an ailing cow.  To investigate its internal
 gases he inserted a tube into that end of the animal not capable of facial
 expression and struck a match.  The jet of flame set fire first to some
 surgeon was required to treat an ailing cow.  To investigate its internal
 gases he inserted a tube into that end of the animal not capable of facial
 expression and struck a match.  The jet of flame set fire first to some

-bales of hay and then to the whole farm causing damage estimate at L45,000. 
+bales of hay and then to the whole farm causing damage estimate at L45,000.

 The vet was later fined L140 for starting a fire in a manner surprising to
 the magistrates.  The cow escaped with shock.
                -- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
 The vet was later fined L140 for starting a fire in a manner surprising to
 the magistrates.  The cow escaped with shock.
                -- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"


@@ -45459,8 +45380,8 @@ to make it what it is supposed to be -- God's guest house on earth.
 The volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases.
                -- Jerry Brown
 %
 The volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases.
                -- Jerry Brown
 %

-The voluptuous blond was chatting with her handsome escort in a posh 
-restaurant when their waiter, stumbling as he brought their drinks, 
+The voluptuous blond was chatting with her handsome escort in a posh
+restaurant when their waiter, stumbling as he brought their drinks,

 dumped a martini on the rocks down the back of the blonde's dress.  She
 sprang to her feet with a wild rebel yell, dashed wildly around the table,
 then galloped wriggling from the room followed by her distraught boyfriend.
 dumped a martini on the rocks down the back of the blonde's dress.  She
 sprang to her feet with a wild rebel yell, dashed wildly around the table,
 then galloped wriggling from the room followed by her distraught boyfriend.


@@ -45766,7 +45687,7 @@ the piano.  Another whom we adore when he plays the piano turned the pages.
 But the man who should have turned the pages played the violin."
                -- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
 %
 But the man who should have turned the pages played the violin."
                -- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
 %

-The worst part of having success is trying 
+The worst part of having success is trying

 to find someone who is happy for you.
                -- Bette Midler
 %
 to find someone who is happy for you.
                -- Bette Midler
 %


@@ -45812,7 +45733,7 @@ if something could have materialized -- and never knowing.
 The Wright Brothers weren't the first to fly.
 They were just the first not to crash.
 %
 The Wright Brothers weren't the first to fly.
 They were just the first not to crash.
 %

-The yankees, son, are up north.  
+The yankees, son, are up north.

 The damnyankees are down here.
 %
 The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of
 The damnyankees are down here.
 %
 The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of


@@ -45828,9 +45749,9 @@ Linked in part to a structural weakness.
 She set no preconditions.
 %
 The young man-about-town enjoyed luxury but didn't always have the means
 She set no preconditions.
 %
 The young man-about-town enjoyed luxury but didn't always have the means

-to buy it, and so he huffily walked out of the Miami Beach hotel when he 
+to buy it, and so he huffily walked out of the Miami Beach hotel when he

 found out the charges for room, meals and golf privileges were $300 a day.
 found out the charges for room, meals and golf privileges were $300 a day.

-He registered across the street at an equally elegant hotel, where the 
+He registered across the street at an equally elegant hotel, where the

 rates were only $70.  The following morning he went down to the hotel's
 golf course and asked Scotty, the pro, to sell him a couple of golf balls.
 "Sure," said Scotty.  "That'll be $25 apiece."
 rates were only $70.  The following morning he went down to the hotel's
 golf course and asked Scotty, the pro, to sell him a couple of golf balls.
 "Sure," said Scotty.  "That'll be $25 apiece."


@@ -45898,7 +45819,7 @@ Theorem: All programs are dull.
 Proof: Assume the contrary; i.e., the set of interesting programs is
 nonempty.  Arrange them (or it) in order of interest (note that all
 sets can be well ordered, so do it properly).  The minimal element is
 Proof: Assume the contrary; i.e., the set of interesting programs is
 nonempty.  Arrange them (or it) in order of interest (note that all
 sets can be well ordered, so do it properly).  The minimal element is

-the "least interesting program", the obvious dullness of which provides 
+the "least interesting program", the obvious dullness of which provides

 the contradictory denouement we so devoutly seek.
                -- Stan Kelly-Bootle, "The Devil's DP Dictionary"
 %
 the contradictory denouement we so devoutly seek.
                -- Stan Kelly-Bootle, "The Devil's DP Dictionary"
 %


@@ -45939,7 +45860,7 @@ There are a lot of lies going around.... and half of them are true.
 %
 There are bad times just around the corner,
 There are dark clouds hurtling through the sky
 %
 There are bad times just around the corner,
 There are dark clouds hurtling through the sky

-And it's no good whining 
+And it's no good whining

 About a silver lining
 For we know from experience that they won't roll by...
                -- Noel Coward
 About a silver lining
 For we know from experience that they won't roll by...
                -- Noel Coward


@@ -46051,7 +45972,7 @@ people who find nothing odd about it.
 %
 There are places I'll remember
 All my life though some have changed.
 %
 There are places I'll remember
 All my life though some have changed.

-Some forever not for better 
+Some forever not for better

 Some have gone and some remain.
 All these places had their moments
 With lovers and friends I still recall.
 Some have gone and some remain.
 All these places had their moments
 With lovers and friends I still recall.


@@ -46086,7 +46007,7 @@ Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
        I cremated Sam McGee.
                -- Robert W. Service
 %
        I cremated Sam McGee.
                -- Robert W. Service
 %

-There are ten or twenty basic truths, and life 
+There are ten or twenty basic truths, and life

 is the process of discovering them over and over and over.
                -- David Nichols
 %
 is the process of discovering them over and over and over.
                -- David Nichols
 %


@@ -46136,7 +46057,7 @@ There are three things I always forget.  Names, faces -- the third I
 can't remember.
                -- Italo Svevo
 %
 can't remember.
                -- Italo Svevo
 %

-There are three things I have always loved 
+There are three things I have always loved

 and never understood -- art, music, and women.
 %
 There are three things men can do with women:
 and never understood -- art, music, and women.
 %
 There are three things men can do with women:


@@ -46199,7 +46120,7 @@ make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.
                -- C.A.R. Hoare
 %
 There are two ways of disliking art.
                -- C.A.R. Hoare
 %
 There are two ways of disliking art.

-One is to dislike it. 
+One is to dislike it.

 The other is to like it rationally.
                -- Oscar Wilde
 %
 The other is to like it rationally.
                -- Oscar Wilde
 %


@@ -46312,11 +46233,6 @@ wooden toilet seats.
 
 It's called the Birch John Society.
 %
 
 It's called the Birch John Society.
 %

-There is a road to freedom.  Its milestones are Obedience, Endeavor, Honesty,
-Order, Cleanliness, Sobriety, Truthfulness, Sacrifice, and love of the
-Fatherland.
-               -- Adolf Hitler
-%

 There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly
 what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear
 and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.  There
 There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly
 what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear
 and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.  There


@@ -46378,7 +46294,7 @@ There is one lonelier than you.
 %
 There is, in fact, no reason to believe that any given natural phenomenon,
 however marvelous it may seem today, will remain forever inexplicable.
 %
 There is, in fact, no reason to believe that any given natural phenomenon,
 however marvelous it may seem today, will remain forever inexplicable.

-Soon or late the laws governing the production of life itself will be 
+Soon or late the laws governing the production of life itself will be

 discovered in the laboratory, and man may set up business as a creator
 on his own account.  The thing, indeed, is not only conceivable; it is
 even highly probable.
 discovered in the laboratory, and man may set up business as a creator
 on his own account.  The thing, indeed, is not only conceivable; it is
 even highly probable.


@@ -46426,10 +46342,10 @@ There is no better way to exercise the imagination than the study of the law.
 No artist ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets the truth.
        -- Jean Giradoux
 %
 No artist ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets the truth.
        -- Jean Giradoux
 %

-"There is no choice before us. Either we must Succeed in providing 
-the rational coordination of impulses and guts, or for centuries 
-civilization will sink into a mere welter of minor excitements. 
-We must provide a Great Age or see the collapse of the upward 
+"There is no choice before us. Either we must Succeed in providing
+the rational coordination of impulses and guts, or for centuries
+civilization will sink into a mere welter of minor excitements.
+We must provide a Great Age or see the collapse of the upward

 striving of the human race"
                -- Alfred North Whitehead
 %
 striving of the human race"
                -- Alfred North Whitehead
 %


@@ -46677,7 +46593,7 @@ When she was good, she was very, very good
 And when she was bad, she was very, very popular.
                -- Max Miller, "The Max Miller Blue Book"
 %
 And when she was bad, she was very, very popular.
                -- Max Miller, "The Max Miller Blue Book"
 %

-There was a man who enjoyed playing golf, and could occasionallly put up
+There was a man who enjoyed playing golf, and could occasionally put up

 with taking in a round with his wife.  One time (with his wife along) he
 was having an extremely bad round.  On the 12th hole, he sliced a drive
 over by a grounds-keepers' shack.  Although he did not have a clear shot
 with taking in a round with his wife.  One time (with his wife along) he
 was having an extremely bad round.  On the 12th hole, he sliced a drive
 over by a grounds-keepers' shack.  Although he did not have a clear shot


@@ -46733,7 +46649,7 @@ There was a young man from Verdunne.
 There was an old Indian belief that by making love on the hide of
 their favorite animal, one could guarantee the health and prosperity
 of the offspring conceived thereupon.  And so it goes that one Indian
 There was an old Indian belief that by making love on the hide of
 their favorite animal, one could guarantee the health and prosperity
 of the offspring conceived thereupon.  And so it goes that one Indian

-couple made love on a buffalo  hide.  Nine months later, they were
+couple made love on a buffalo hide.  Nine months later, they were

 blessed with a healthy baby son.  Yet another couple huddled together
 on the hide of a deer and they too were blessed with a very healthy
 baby son.  But a third couple, whose favorite animal was a hippopotamus,
 blessed with a healthy baby son.  Yet another couple huddled together
 on the hide of a deer and they too were blessed with a very healthy
 baby son.  But a third couple, whose favorite animal was a hippopotamus,


@@ -46873,7 +46789,7 @@ Oh, hard is the struggle, and sparse is
        The gain of the one at the top,
 For art is a form of catharsis,
        And love is a permanent flop,
        The gain of the one at the top,
 For art is a form of catharsis,
        And love is a permanent flop,

-And work is the provence of cattle,
+And work is the province of cattle,

        And rest's for a clam in a shell,
 So I'm thinking of throwing the battle --
        Would you kindly direct me to hell?
        And rest's for a clam in a shell,
 So I'm thinking of throwing the battle --
        Would you kindly direct me to hell?


@@ -47304,7 +47220,7 @@ This is Betty Frenel.  I don't know who to call but I can't reach my
 Food-a-holics partner.  I'm at Vido's on my second pizza with sausage
 and mushroom.  Jim, come and get me!
 %
 Food-a-holics partner.  I'm at Vido's on my second pizza with sausage
 and mushroom.  Jim, come and get me!
 %

-This is clearly another case of too many mad scientists, 
+This is clearly another case of too many mad scientists,

 and not enough hunchbacks.
 %
 This is for all ill-treated fellows
 and not enough hunchbacks.
 %
 This is for all ill-treated fellows


@@ -47454,7 +47370,7 @@ or failure to perform.  Slippery when wet.  For office use only.  Substantial
 penalty for early withdrawal.  Do not write below this line.  Your cancelled
 check is your receipt.  Avoid contact with skin.  Employees and their families
 are not eligible.  Beware of dog.  Driver does not carry cash.  Limited time
 penalty for early withdrawal.  Do not write below this line.  Your cancelled
 check is your receipt.  Avoid contact with skin.  Employees and their families
 are not eligible.  Beware of dog.  Driver does not carry cash.  Limited time

-offer, call now to insure prompt delivery.  Use only in well-ventilated area.
+offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery.  Use only in well-ventilated area.

 Keep away from fire or flame.  Some equipment shown is optional.  Price does
 not include taxes, dealer prep, or delivery.  Penalty for private use.  Call
 toll free before digging.  Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product
 Keep away from fire or flame.  Some equipment shown is optional.  Price does
 not include taxes, dealer prep, or delivery.  Penalty for private use.  Call
 toll free before digging.  Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product


@@ -47589,7 +47505,7 @@ Those who sweat in flames of hell,      Leaden eared, some thought their bowels
 Here's the reason that they fell:      Lispeth forth the sweetest vowels.
 While on earth they prayed in SAS,     These they offered up in praise
 PL/1, or other crass,                  Thinking all this fetid haze
 Here's the reason that they fell:      Lispeth forth the sweetest vowels.
 While on earth they prayed in SAS,     These they offered up in praise
 PL/1, or other crass,                  Thinking all this fetid haze

-Vulgar tongue.                         A rapsody sung.
+Vulgar tongue.                         A rhapsody sung.

 
 Some the lord did sorely try           Jabber of the mindless horde
 Assembling all their pleas in hex.     Sequel next did mock the lord
 
 Some the lord did sorely try           Jabber of the mindless horde
 Assembling all their pleas in hex.     Sequel next did mock the lord


@@ -47610,10 +47526,6 @@ Thou hast seen nothing yet.
 %
 Thou shalt not omit adultery.
 %
 %
 Thou shalt not omit adultery.
 %

-Though a program be but three lines long, someday it will have to
-be maintained.
-               -- The Tao of Programming
-%

 Though I respect that a lot
 I'd be fired if that were my job
 After killing Jason off and
 Though I respect that a lot
 I'd be fired if that were my job
 After killing Jason off and


@@ -47692,7 +47604,7 @@ Throw away proprietary and site licenses,
 and there won't be any pirating.
 
 If these three aren't enough,
 and there won't be any pirating.
 
 If these three aren't enough,

-just stay at your home directory 
+just stay at your home directory

 and let all processes take their course.
 %
 Thus mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know
 and let all processes take their course.
 %
 Thus mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know


@@ -47976,12 +47888,12 @@ Yabba-Dabba-Doo!
 To be loved is very demoralizing.
                -- Katharine Hepburn
 %
 To be loved is very demoralizing.
                -- Katharine Hepburn
 %

-to be nobody but yourself in a world 
+to be nobody but yourself in a world

 which is doing its best night and day
 to make you like everybody else
 means to fight the hardest battle
 any human being can fight and
 which is doing its best night and day
 to make you like everybody else
 means to fight the hardest battle
 any human being can fight and

-never stop fighting.                   
+never stop fighting.

                -- e.e. cummings
 %
 To be nobody-but-yourself in a world which is doing its best to,
                -- e.e. cummings
 %
 To be nobody-but-yourself in a world which is doing its best to,


@@ -48087,7 +47999,7 @@ To err is human, to forgive is against company policy.
 To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.
 %
 To err is human; to forgive is simply not our policy.
 To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.
 %
 To err is human; to forgive is simply not our policy.

-               -- MIT Assasination Club
+               -- MIT Assassination Club

 %
 To err is human, to forgive unusual.
 %
 %
 To err is human, to forgive unusual.
 %


@@ -48107,7 +48019,7 @@ To purr feline.
 %
 To err is humor.
 %
 %
 To err is humor.
 %

-To everything there is a season, a time for every pupose under heaven:
+To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven:

 A time to be born, and a time to die;
 A time to plant, and a time to pluck what is planted;
 A time to kill, and a time to heal;
 A time to be born, and a time to die;
 A time to plant, and a time to pluck what is planted;
 A time to kill, and a time to heal;


@@ -48282,12 +48194,12 @@ TO THOSE OF YOU WHO DESIRE IT, I GRANT YOU MADRAK'S BLESSING:
 what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you
 may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness.
        Conversely, if not forgiveness but something else be required
 what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you
 may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness.
        Conversely, if not forgiveness but something else be required

-to insure any possible benefit for which you may be eligible after the
+to ensure any possible benefit for which you may be eligible after the

 destruction of your body, I ask that this, whatever it may be, be granted
 destruction of your body, I ask that this, whatever it may be, be granted

-or withheld, as the case may be, in such a manner as to insure your
-receving said benefit.
+or withheld, as the case may be, in such a manner as to ensure your
+receiving said benefit.

        I ask this in my capacity as your elected intermediary between
        I ask this in my capacity as your elected intermediary between

-yourself and that which may have an interest in the matter of your receving
+yourself and that which may have an interest in the matter of your receiving

 as much as it is possible for you to receive of this thing, and which may
 in some way be influenced by this ceremony.
        Amen.
 as much as it is possible for you to receive of this thing, and which may
 in some way be influenced by this ceremony.
        Amen.


@@ -48356,11 +48268,11 @@ boarder.
 Today you'll start getting heavy metal radio on your dentures.
 %
 Today's thrilling story has been brought to you by Mushies, the great new
 Today you'll start getting heavy metal radio on your dentures.
 %
 Today's thrilling story has been brought to you by Mushies, the great new

-cereal that gets soggy even without milk or cream.  Join us soon for more 
+cereal that gets soggy even without milk or cream.  Join us soon for more

 spectacular adventure starring...  Tippy, the Wonder Dog!
                -- Bob & Ray
 %
 spectacular adventure starring...  Tippy, the Wonder Dog!
                -- Bob & Ray
 %

-Todays weirdness is tomorrows reason why.
+Today's weirdness is tomorrow's reason why.

                -- H.S. Thompson
 %
 Toddlers are the stormtroopers of the Lord of Entropy.
                -- H.S. Thompson
 %
 Toddlers are the stormtroopers of the Lord of Entropy.


@@ -48439,7 +48351,7 @@ Too ripped.  Gotta go.
 Toothpaste never hurts the taste of good scotch.
 %
 Top Ten Things Overheard At The ANSI C Draft Committee Meetings:
 Toothpaste never hurts the taste of good scotch.
 %
 Top Ten Things Overheard At The ANSI C Draft Committee Meetings:

- 
+

 10:    Sorry, but that's too useful.
  9:    Dammit, little-endian systems *are* more consistent!
  8:    I'm on the committee and I *still* don't know what the hell
 10:    Sorry, but that's too useful.
  9:    Dammit, little-endian systems *are* more consistent!
  8:    I'm on the committee and I *still* don't know what the hell


@@ -48742,7 +48654,7 @@ And stood awhile in thought.            The Jabberstock, with clothes of tweed,
 Chip Black! Chip Blue! And through     And yuppied great with greed!
        and through
 The forecast blade went snicker-snack! "And hast thou slain the Jabberstock?
 Chip Black! Chip Blue! And through     And yuppied great with greed!
        and through
 The forecast blade went snicker-snack! "And hast thou slain the Jabberstock?

-It bit the dirt, and with its shirt,   Come to my firm,  V.P.ish  boy!
+It bit the dirt, and with its shirt,   Come to my firm, V.P.ish boy!

 He went rebounding back.               O big bucks day! Moolah! Good Play!"
                                        He bought him a Mercedes Toy.
 'Twas panic, and the slithy brokers
 He went rebounding back.               O big bucks day! Moolah! Good Play!"
                                        He bought him a Mercedes Toy.
 'Twas panic, and the slithy brokers


@@ -48800,7 +48712,7 @@ Only programmed for battle, it hadn't a heart;
 It couldn't be tested, and no one could tell,
 If the crazy contraption would work very well.
 So after a trillion or two had been spent
 It couldn't be tested, and no one could tell,
 If the crazy contraption would work very well.
 So after a trillion or two had been spent

-The system thought Santa a Red missle sent.
+The system thought Santa a Red missile sent.

 So kids dry your tears now, and get off to bed,
 There won't be a Christmas -- since Santa is dead.
 %
 So kids dry your tears now, and get off to bed,
 There won't be a Christmas -- since Santa is dead.
 %


@@ -48844,10 +48756,10 @@ penguin is dripping in sweat; his owner looks down and says to the other Finn,
 owner then runs off to the sauna.  When he gets out of the sauna, he looks
 up at the porch, and sure enough, there is Urho and the penguin, sweating
 away.  So he yells out "Hey, Urho, I thought I told you to take the penguin to
 owner then runs off to the sauna.  When he gets out of the sauna, he looks
 up at the porch, and sure enough, there is Urho and the penguin, sweating
 away.  So he yells out "Hey, Urho, I thought I told you to take the penguin to

-the zoo, I did."  And Urho yells back "Yup, and tomorrow we're going to 
+the zoo, I did."  And Urho yells back "Yup, and tomorrow we're going to

 the movies!"
 %
 the movies!"
 %

-Two friends were out drinking when suddenly one lurched backward off his 
+Two friends were out drinking when suddenly one lurched backward off his

 barstool and lay motionless on the floor.
        "One thing about Jim," the other said to the bartender, "he sure
 knows when to stop."
 barstool and lay motionless on the floor.
        "One thing about Jim," the other said to the bartender, "he sure
 knows when to stop."


@@ -48857,8 +48769,8 @@ Two heads are better than one.
 %
 Two heads are more numerous than one.
 %
 %
 Two heads are more numerous than one.
 %

-Two hundred years ago today, Irma Chine of White Plains, New York, was 
-performing her normal housekeeping routines.  She was interrupted by 
+Two hundred years ago today, Irma Chine of White Plains, New York, was
+performing her normal housekeeping routines.  She was interrupted by

 British soldiers who, rallying to the call of their supervisor, General
 Hughes, sought to gain control of the voter registration lists kept in
 her home.  Masking her fear and thinking fast, Mrs. Chine quickly divided
 British soldiers who, rallying to the call of their supervisor, General
 Hughes, sought to gain control of the voter registration lists kept in
 her home.  Masking her fear and thinking fast, Mrs. Chine quickly divided


@@ -48985,7 +48897,7 @@ coughing and drops dead.
                -- Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"
 %
 Uncle Cosmo, why do they call this a word processor?
                -- Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"
 %
 Uncle Cosmo, why do they call this a word processor?

-It's simple, Skyler.  You've seen what food processors do to food, right? 
+It's simple, Skyler.  You've seen what food processors do to food, right?

 %
 Uncle Ed's Rule of Thumb:
        Never use your thumb for a rule.
 %
 Uncle Ed's Rule of Thumb:
        Never use your thumb for a rule.


@@ -49093,7 +49005,7 @@ of more feet, just to be sure.
                -- Eric Allman
 
 ... We make rope.
                -- Eric Allman
 
 ... We make rope.

-               -- Rob Gingell on Sun Microsystem's new virtual memory.
+               -- Rob Gingell on Sun Microsystems' new virtual memory.

 %
 Unix is a lot more complicated (than CP/M) of course -- the typical Unix
 hacker can never remember what the PRINT command is called this week --
 %
 Unix is a lot more complicated (than CP/M) of course -- the typical Unix
 hacker can never remember what the PRINT command is called this week --


@@ -49233,7 +49145,7 @@ Fish are fast moving vegetables.
 Mushrooms are what grows on vegetables when food's done with them.
                -- Meat Eater's Credo, according to Jim Williams
 %
 Mushrooms are what grows on vegetables when food's done with them.
                -- Meat Eater's Credo, according to Jim Williams
 %

-Vegeterians beware!  You are what you eat.
+Vegetarians beware!  You are what you eat.

 %
 Velilind's Laws of Experimentation:
        1. If reproducibility may be a problem, conduct the test only once.
 %
 Velilind's Laws of Experimentation:
        1. If reproducibility may be a problem, conduct the test only once.


@@ -49602,7 +49514,7 @@ We all live under the same sky, but we don't all have the same horizon.
 %
 We are all agreed that your theory is crazy.  The question which divides us is
 whether it is crazy enough to have a chance of being correct.  My own feeling
 %
 We are all agreed that your theory is crazy.  The question which divides us is
 whether it is crazy enough to have a chance of being correct.  My own feeling

-is that it is not crazy enough. 
+is that it is not crazy enough.

                -- Niels Bohr
 %
 We are all born charming, fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized
                -- Niels Bohr
 %
 We are all born charming, fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized


@@ -49931,7 +49843,7 @@ and speak English.
 %
 We may not be able to persuade Hindus that Jesus and not Vishnu should govern
 their spiritual horizon, nor Moslems that Lord Buddha is at the center of
 %
 We may not be able to persuade Hindus that Jesus and not Vishnu should govern
 their spiritual horizon, nor Moslems that Lord Buddha is at the center of

-their spiritual universe, nor Hebrews that Mohammed is a major prohpet, nor
+their spiritual universe, nor Hebrews that Mohammed is a major prophet, nor

 Christians that Shinto best expresses their spiritual concerns, to say
 nothing of the fact that we may not be able to get Christians to agree among
 themselves about their relationship to God.  But all will agree on a
 Christians that Shinto best expresses their spiritual concerns, to say
 nothing of the fact that we may not be able to get Christians to agree among
 themselves about their relationship to God.  But all will agree on a


@@ -50053,7 +49965,7 @@ Each one serves until they screw up, at which point they rotate.
 We should keep the Panama Canal.  After all, we stole it fair and square.
                -- S.I. Hayakawa
 %
 We should keep the Panama Canal.  After all, we stole it fair and square.
                -- S.I. Hayakawa
 %

-We should realize that a city is better off with bad laws, so long as they 
+We should realize that a city is better off with bad laws, so long as they

 remain fixed, then with good laws that are constantly being altered, that
 the lack of learning combined with sound common sense is more helpful than
 the kind of cleverness that gets out of hand, and that as a general rule,
 remain fixed, then with good laws that are constantly being altered, that
 the lack of learning combined with sound common sense is more helpful than
 the kind of cleverness that gets out of hand, and that as a general rule,


@@ -50418,7 +50330,7 @@ Sitting at a table, dealing stud,
 Sat that dirty (bleep) that named me Sue.
 ...
 Now, I knew that snake was my own sweet Dad,
 Sat that dirty (bleep) that named me Sue.
 ...
 Now, I knew that snake was my own sweet Dad,

-From a wornout picture that my Mother had,
+From a worn-out picture that my Mother had,

 And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye...
                -- Johnny Cash, "A Boy Named Sue"
 %
 And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye...
                -- Johnny Cash, "A Boy Named Sue"
 %


@@ -50747,10 +50659,10 @@ And then run?
 Does it stink like rotten meat?
 Or crust and sugar over --
 Like a syrupy sweet?
 Does it stink like rotten meat?
 Or crust and sugar over --
 Like a syrupy sweet?

-  
+

 Maybe it just sags
 Like a heavy load.
 Maybe it just sags
 Like a heavy load.

-  
+

 Or does it explode?
                -- Langston Hughes
 %
 Or does it explode?
                -- Langston Hughes
 %


@@ -50882,9 +50794,6 @@ What kind of sordid business are you on now?  I mean, man, whither
 goest thou?  Whither goest thou, America, in thy shiny car in the night?
                -- Jack Kerouac
 %
 goest thou?  Whither goest thou, America, in thy shiny car in the night?
                -- Jack Kerouac
 %

-What luck for the rulers that men do not think.
-               -- Adolph Hitler
-%

 What makes the Universe so hard to comprehend
 is that there's nothing to compare it with.
 %
 What makes the Universe so hard to comprehend
 is that there's nothing to compare it with.
 %


@@ -51024,7 +50933,7 @@ a long way with his skills."
        (We hoped he'd go as far as possible.)
 "You won't find many people like her."
        (In fact, most people can't stand being around her.)
        (We hoped he'd go as far as possible.)
 "You won't find many people like her."
        (In fact, most people can't stand being around her.)

-"I cannot reccommend him too highly."
+"I cannot recommend him too highly."

        (However, to the best of my knowledge, he has never committed a
         felony in my presence.)
 %
        (However, to the best of my knowledge, he has never committed a
         felony in my presence.)
 %


@@ -51159,7 +51068,7 @@ with as you will.
 What you want, what you're hanging around in the world waiting for, is for
 something to occur to you.
                -- Robert Frost
 What you want, what you're hanging around in the world waiting for, is for
 something to occur to you.
                -- Robert Frost

- 
+

        [Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
         referring to AST's.]
 %
        [Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
         referring to AST's.]
 %


@@ -51198,10 +51107,6 @@ as good.  Luckily this is not difficult.
 %
 Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that
 you do it.
 %
 Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that
 you do it.

-               -- Ghandi
-%
-Whatever you do will be insignificant,
-but it is very important that you do it.

                -- Gandhi
 %
 Whatever you may be sure of, be sure of this: that you are dreadfully like
                -- Gandhi
 %
 Whatever you may be sure of, be sure of this: that you are dreadfully like


@@ -51239,8 +51144,8 @@ But I think it's your mind.
 What's this stuff about people being "released on their
 own recognizance"?  Aren't we all out on own recognizance?
 %
 What's this stuff about people being "released on their
 own recognizance"?  Aren't we all out on own recognizance?
 %

-When a Banker jumps out of a window, 
-jump after him -- that's where the money is. 
+When a Banker jumps out of a window,
+jump after him -- that's where the money is.

                -- Robespierre
 %
 When a camel flies, no one laughs if it doesn't get very far!
                -- Robespierre
 %
 When a camel flies, no one laughs if it doesn't get very far!


@@ -51436,7 +51341,7 @@ like my grandfather.
 not screaming,
 like the passengers in his car...
 %
 not screaming,
 like the passengers in his car...
 %

-When I drink, *everybody* drinks!" a man shouted to the assembled bar patrons.  A 
+When I drink, *everybody* drinks!" a man shouted to the assembled bar patrons.  A

 loud general cheer went up.  After downing his whiskey, he hopped onto a
 barstool and shouted "When I take another drink, *everybody* takes another
 drink!"  The announcement produced another cheer and another round of drinks.
 loud general cheer went up.  After downing his whiskey, he hopped onto a
 barstool and shouted "When I take another drink, *everybody* takes another
 drink!"  The announcement produced another cheer and another round of drinks.


@@ -51500,7 +51405,7 @@ When I think about myself.              Too poor to break,
 My folks can make me split my side,
 I laughed so hard I nearly died,
 The tales they tell, sound just like lying,
 My folks can make me split my side,
 I laughed so hard I nearly died,
 The tales they tell, sound just like lying,

-They grow the fruit, 
+They grow the fruit,

 But eat the rind,
 I laugh until I start to crying,
 When I think about my folks.
 But eat the rind,
 I laugh until I start to crying,
 When I think about my folks.


@@ -51510,7 +51415,7 @@ When I was 16, I thought there was no hope for my father.
 By the time I was 20, he had made great improvement.
 %
 When I was a boy I was told that anyone could become President.
 By the time I was 20, he had made great improvement.
 %
 When I was a boy I was told that anyone could become President.

-Now I'm beginning to believe it.  
+Now I'm beginning to believe it.

                -- Clarence Darrow
 %
 When I was a child...  We had a quick-sand box in the backyard...
                -- Clarence Darrow
 %
 When I was a child...  We had a quick-sand box in the backyard...


@@ -51768,8 +51673,8 @@ every week you're away and get nothing done, there's another when your boss
 is away and you get twice as much done.
                -- Daniel B. Luten
 %
 is away and you get twice as much done.
                -- Daniel B. Luten
 %

-When smashing monuments, save the pedstals -- they always come in handy.
-               -- Stanislaw J. Lem, "Unkempt Thoughts"
+When smashing monuments, save the pedestals -- they always come in handy.
+               -- Stanislaw J. Lec, "Unkempt Thoughts"

 %
 When some people decide it's time for everyone to make
 big changes, it means that they want you to change first.
 %
 When some people decide it's time for everyone to make
 big changes, it means that they want you to change first.


@@ -51798,6 +51703,7 @@ Till somebody we like can be elected.   We hate that expression!
 %
 When someone says "I want a programming language in
 which I need only say what I wish done," give him a lollipop.
 %
 When someone says "I want a programming language in
 which I need only say what I wish done," give him a lollipop.

+               -- Alan Perlis

 %
 When speculation has done its worst, two plus two still equals four.
                -- S. Johnson
 %
 When speculation has done its worst, two plus two still equals four.
                -- S. Johnson


@@ -51858,7 +51764,7 @@ your problem, you modify the problem, not the remedy.
 When the government bureau's remedies don't match your problem, you modify
 the problem, not the remedy.
 %
 When the government bureau's remedies don't match your problem, you modify
 the problem, not the remedy.
 %

-When the Guru administers, the users 
+When the Guru administers, the users

 are hardly aware that he exists.
 Next best is a sysop who is loved.
 Next, one who is feared.
 are hardly aware that he exists.
 Next best is a sysop who is loved.
 Next, one who is feared.


@@ -51959,7 +51865,7 @@ Double and float cast to each other.
 High-endian and low-endian define each other.
 While and until follow each other.
 
 High-endian and low-endian define each other.
 While and until follow each other.
 

-Therefore the Guru 
+Therefore the Guru

 programs without doing anything
 and teaches without saying anything.
 Warnings arise and he lets them come;
 programs without doing anything
 and teaches without saying anything.
 Warnings arise and he lets them come;


@@ -52104,7 +52010,7 @@ When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite.
 %
 When you jump for joy, beware that no-one
 moves the ground from beneath your feet.
 %
 When you jump for joy, beware that no-one
 moves the ground from beneath your feet.

-               -- Stanislaw Lem, "Unkempt Thoughts"
+               -- Stanislaw J. Lec, "Unkempt Thoughts"

 %
 When you live in a sick society,
 just about everything you do is wrong.
 %
 When you live in a sick society,
 just about everything you do is wrong.


@@ -52137,7 +52043,7 @@ and everything will fall into place.
 %
 When you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that
 you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice.
 %
 When you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that
 you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice.

-               -- Otto Von Bismarck
+               -- Otto von Bismarck

 %
 When you speak to others for their own good it's advice;
 when they speak to you for your own good it's interference.
 %
 When you speak to others for their own good it's advice;
 when they speak to you for your own good it's interference.


@@ -52262,9 +52168,9 @@ Whenever you find that you are on the
 side of the majority, it is time to reform.
                -- Mark Twain
 %
 side of the majority, it is time to reform.
                -- Mark Twain
 %

-Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equpped with 18,000 vaccuum tubes and
-weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vaccuum tubes
-and perhaps weight 1 1/2 tons.
+Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and
+weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes
+and perhaps weigh 1 1/2 tons.

                -- Popular Mechanics, March 1949
 %
 Where am I?  Who am I?  Am I?  I
                -- Popular Mechanics, March 1949
 %
 Where am I?  Who am I?  Am I?  I


@@ -52394,7 +52300,7 @@ As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
 
        [Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
         referring to hardware interrupts.]
 
        [Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
         referring to hardware interrupts.]

- 
+

 And now I see with eye serene
 The very pulse of the machine.
                -- William Wordsworth, "She Was a Phantom of Delight"
 And now I see with eye serene
 The very pulse of the machine.
                -- William Wordsworth, "She Was a Phantom of Delight"


@@ -52574,7 +52480,7 @@ Who's on first?
 Who's scruffy-looking?
                -- Han Solo
 %
 Who's scruffy-looking?
                -- Han Solo
 %

-Why a man would want a wife is a big mystery to some people.  
+Why a man would want a wife is a big mystery to some people.

 Why a man would want *two* wives is a bigamystery.
 %
 Why am I so soft in the middle when the rest of my life is so hard?
 Why a man would want *two* wives is a bigamystery.
 %
 Why am I so soft in the middle when the rest of my life is so hard?


@@ -52600,16 +52506,16 @@ I love entertainment
 So long as it's clean.
 
 Professor Doberman:
 So long as it's clean.
 
 Professor Doberman:

-       While the preceding poem is unarguably a change from the guarded 
-pessimism of "The Hound of Heaven," it cannot be regarded as an unqualified 
+       While the preceding poem is unarguably a change from the guarded
+pessimism of "The Hound of Heaven," it cannot be regarded as an unqualified

 improvement.  Obscurity is of value only when it tends to clarify the poetic
 improvement.  Obscurity is of value only when it tends to clarify the poetic

-experience.  As much as one is compelled to admire the poem's technique, one 
-must question whether its byplay of complex literary allusions does not in 
-fact distract from the unity of the whole.  In the final analysis, one 
-receives the distinct impression that the poem's length could safely have 
+experience.  As much as one is compelled to admire the poem's technique, one
+must question whether its byplay of complex literary allusions does not in
+fact distract from the unity of the whole.  In the final analysis, one
+receives the distinct impression that the poem's length could safely have

 been reduced by a factor of eight or ten without sacrificing any of its
 been reduced by a factor of eight or ten without sacrificing any of its

-meaning.  It is to be hoped that further publication of this poem can be 
-suspended pending a thorough investigation of its potential subversive 
+meaning.  It is to be hoped that further publication of this poem can be
+suspended pending a thorough investigation of its potential subversive

 implications.
 %
 Why attack God?  He may be as miserable as we are.
 implications.
 %
 Why attack God?  He may be as miserable as we are.


@@ -52672,7 +52578,7 @@ pay the fiddler.
        -- The Best of Will Rogers
 %
 Why don't you fix your little problem... and light this candle?
        -- The Best of Will Rogers
 %
 Why don't you fix your little problem... and light this candle?

-               -- Alan Shepherd, the first man into space, Gemini program
+               -- Alan Shepard, the first American in space

 %
 Why, every one as they like; as the good woman said when she
 kissed her cow.
 %
 Why, every one as they like; as the good woman said when she
 kissed her cow.


@@ -52717,7 +52623,7 @@ Why I Can't Go Out With You:
 
 I'd LOVE to, but...
        -- I have to floss my cat.
 
 I'd LOVE to, but...
        -- I have to floss my cat.

-       -- I've dedicated my life to linguini.
+       -- I've dedicated my life to linguine.

        -- I need to spend more time with my blender.
        -- It wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.
        -- It's my night to pet the dog/ferret/goldfish/radio.
        -- I need to spend more time with my blender.
        -- It wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.
        -- It's my night to pet the dog/ferret/goldfish/radio.


@@ -52803,7 +52709,7 @@ incessantly repeated blunders, obtaining a glimmering of truth by falling
 into every conceivable error, dimly discerning light enough for our daily
 needs, but hopelessly differing whenever we attempt to describe the ultimate
 origin or end of our paths; and yet, when one of us ventures to declare that
 into every conceivable error, dimly discerning light enough for our daily
 needs, but hopelessly differing whenever we attempt to describe the ultimate
 origin or end of our paths; and yet, when one of us ventures to declare that

-we don't know the map of the universe as well as the map of our infintesimal
+we don't know the map of the universe as well as the map of our infinitesimal

 parish, he is hooted, reviled, and perhaps told that he will be damned to all
 eternity for his faithlessness.
                -- Leslie Stephen, "An Agnostic's Apology",
 parish, he is hooted, reviled, and perhaps told that he will be damned to all
 eternity for his faithlessness.
                -- Leslie Stephen, "An Agnostic's Apology",


@@ -52814,7 +52720,7 @@ Why won't you let me kiss you goodnight?  Is it something I said?
 %
 Why would anyone want to be called "Later"?
 %
 %
 Why would anyone want to be called "Later"?
 %

-Why you say you no bunny rabbit when you have little powder-puff tail? 
+Why you say you no bunny rabbit when you have little powder-puff tail?

                -- The Tasmanian Devil
 %
 Wiker's Law:
                -- The Tasmanian Devil
 %
 Wiker's Law:


@@ -53155,7 +53061,7 @@ Women's Libbers are OK, I just wouldn't want my sister to marry one.
 Women's virtue is man's greatest invention.
                -- Cornelia Otis Skinner
 %
 Women's virtue is man's greatest invention.
                -- Cornelia Otis Skinner
 %

-Wonder is the feeling of a philosopher, 
+Wonder is the feeling of a philosopher,

 and philosophy begins in wonder.
                Socrates, quoting Plato
 %
 and philosophy begins in wonder.
                Socrates, quoting Plato
 %


@@ -53369,11 +53275,6 @@ who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty?
 %
 Would you people stop playing these stupid games?!?!?!!!!
 %
 %
 Would you people stop playing these stupid games?!?!?!!!!
 %

-Would you please have another look at my nose and put in that cocaine
-stuff....
-               -- Adolf Hitler, quoted by Dr. Giesing in Nuremberg trial
-               testimony, 1947
-%

 Would you *really* want to get on a non-stop flight?
                -- George Carlin
 %
 Would you *really* want to get on a non-stop flight?
                -- George Carlin
 %


@@ -53543,7 +53444,7 @@ X windows:
        When you can't afford to be right.
        And you thought we couldn't make it worse.
 
        When you can't afford to be right.
        And you thought we couldn't make it worse.
 

-If it works, it isn't X windows. 
+If it works, it isn't X windows.

 %
 X windows:
        You'd better sit down.
 %
 X windows:
        You'd better sit down.


@@ -53981,7 +53882,7 @@ chewing on your leg, a troglodyte is bashing your brains out with a
 gold nugget, a crocodile is removing large chunks of flesh from you, a
 rhinoceros is goring you with his horn, a sabre-tooth cat is busy
 trying to disembowel you, you are being trampled by a large mammoth, a
 gold nugget, a crocodile is removing large chunks of flesh from you, a
 rhinoceros is goring you with his horn, a sabre-tooth cat is busy
 trying to disembowel you, you are being trampled by a large mammoth, a

-vampire is sucking you dry, a Tyranosaurus Rex is sinking his six inch
+vampire is sucking you dry, a Tyrannosaurus Rex is sinking his six inch

 long fangs into various parts of your anatomy, a large bear is
 dismembering your body, a gargoyle is bouncing up and down on your
 head, a burly troll is tearing you limb from limb, several dire wolves
 long fangs into various parts of your anatomy, a large bear is
 dismembering your body, a gargoyle is bouncing up and down on your
 head, a burly troll is tearing you limb from limb, several dire wolves


@@ -54360,7 +54261,7 @@ You get along very well with everyone except animals and people.
 You get what you pay for.
                -- Gabriel Biel
 %
 You get what you pay for.
                -- Gabriel Biel
 %

-You give me space to belong to myself yet without separating me 
+You give me space to belong to myself yet without separating me

 from your own life.  May it all turn out to your happiness.
                -- Goethe
 %
 from your own life.  May it all turn out to your happiness.
                -- Goethe
 %


@@ -54405,7 +54306,7 @@ You have a massage (from the Swedish prime minister).
 %
 You have a message from the operator.
 %
 %
 You have a message from the operator.
 %

-You have a reputation for being thoroughly reliable and trustworthy. 
+You have a reputation for being thoroughly reliable and trustworthy.

 A pity that it's totally undeserved.
 %
 You have a strong appeal for members of the opposite sex.
 A pity that it's totally undeserved.
 %
 You have a strong appeal for members of the opposite sex.


@@ -54433,7 +54334,7 @@ You have an ability to sense and know higher truth.
 %
 You have an ambitious nature and may make a name for yourself.
 %
 %
 You have an ambitious nature and may make a name for yourself.
 %

-You have an unusual equipment for success.  
+You have an unusual equipment for success.

 Be sure to use it properly.
 %
 You have an unusual understanding of
 Be sure to use it properly.
 %
 You have an unusual understanding of


@@ -54476,7 +54377,7 @@ If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.
 You humans are all alike.
 %
 You just know when a relationship is about to end.  My girlfriend called me
 You humans are all alike.
 %
 You just know when a relationship is about to end.  My girlfriend called me

-at work and asked me how you change a lightbulb in  the bathroom.  "It's very
+at work and asked me how you change a lightbulb in the bathroom.  "It's very

 simple," I said. "You start by filling up the bathtub with water..."
 %
 You just wait, I'll sin till I blow up!
 simple," I said. "You start by filling up the bathtub with water..."
 %
 You just wait, I'll sin till I blow up!


@@ -54578,7 +54479,7 @@ You know you're in trouble when...
 You know you're in trouble when...
 1)     Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you
                follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
 You know you're in trouble when...
 1)     Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you
                follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.

-2)     You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party 
+2)     You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party

                and there aren't any.
 3)     Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.
 4)     The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.
                and there aren't any.
 3)     Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.
 4)     The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.


@@ -54586,18 +54487,18 @@ You know you're in trouble when...
 6)     Your mother approves of the person you're dating.
 %
 You know you're in trouble when...
 6)     Your mother approves of the person you're dating.
 %
 You know you're in trouble when...

-(1)    Your only son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind 
+(1)    Your only son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind

                her own business.
 (2)    You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
 (3)    You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
 (4)    You see a `60 Minutes' news team waiting in your office.
 (5)    Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
                her own business.
 (2)    You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
 (3)    You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
 (4)    You see a `60 Minutes' news team waiting in your office.
 (5)    Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

-(6)    Your 4-year old reveals that it's "almost impossible" to 
+(6)    Your 4-year old reveals that it's "almost impossible" to

                flush a grapefruit down the toilet.
 (7)    You realize that you've memorized the back of the cereal box.
 %
 You know you're in trouble when...
                flush a grapefruit down the toilet.
 (7)    You realize that you've memorized the back of the cereal box.
 %
 You know you're in trouble when...

-(1)    You've been at work for an hour before you notice that your 
+(1)    You've been at work for an hour before you notice that your

                skirt is caught in your pantyhose.
 (2)    Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.
 (3)    Your income tax check bounces.
                skirt is caught in your pantyhose.
 (2)    Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.
 (3)    Your income tax check bounces.


@@ -54606,7 +54507,7 @@ You know you're in trouble when...
 (6)    You wake up to the soothing sound of flowing water... the day
                after you bought a waterbed.
 (7)    You go on your honeymoon to a remote little hotel and the desk
 (6)    You wake up to the soothing sound of flowing water... the day
                after you bought a waterbed.
 (7)    You go on your honeymoon to a remote little hotel and the desk

-               clerk, bell hop, and manager have a "Welcome Back" party 
+               clerk, bell hop, and manager have a "Welcome Back" party

                for your spouse.
 %
 You know you've been sitting in front of your Lisp machine too long
                for your spouse.
 %
 You know you've been sitting in front of your Lisp machine too long


@@ -54876,7 +54777,7 @@ You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.
 %
 You will be a winner today.  Pick a fight with a four-year-old.
 %
 %
 You will be a winner today.  Pick a fight with a four-year-old.
 %

-You will be advanced socially, 
+You will be advanced socially,

 without any special effort on your part.
 %
 You will be aided greatly by a person
 without any special effort on your part.
 %
 You will be aided greatly by a person


@@ -54900,10 +54801,10 @@ You will be given a post of trust and responsibility.
 %
 You will be held hostage by a radical group.
 %
 %
 You will be held hostage by a radical group.
 %

-You will be honored for contributing 
+You will be honored for contributing

 your time and skill to a worthy cause.
 %
 your time and skill to a worthy cause.
 %

-You will be imprisoned for contributing 
+You will be imprisoned for contributing

 your time and skill to a bank robbery.
 %
 You will be married within a year.
 your time and skill to a bank robbery.
 %
 You will be married within a year.


@@ -55202,7 +55103,7 @@ AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)
        You have nothing better to think about than what to wear and what
 type of champagne to take to the neighbors Halloween Party.  Just take beer!
 Don't try to copy the "Joneses", pull them up to your level and remember, in
        You have nothing better to think about than what to wear and what
 type of champagne to take to the neighbors Halloween Party.  Just take beer!
 Don't try to copy the "Joneses", pull them up to your level and remember, in

-California Hoalloween is redundant anyhow.
+California Halloween is redundant anyhow.

 
 PISCES (Feb. 19 - March 20)
        Focus on strengthening friendships this Fall.  You find others are
 
 PISCES (Feb. 19 - March 20)
        Focus on strengthening friendships this Fall.  You find others are


@@ -55214,7 +55115,7 @@ YOUR FOAMY FUTURE
        by Miss Fortune
 
 ARIES (March 21 - April 19)
        by Miss Fortune
 
 ARIES (March 21 - April 19)

-       Matters are not good, where you health is concerned.  This Fall, be
+       Matters are not good, where your health is concerned.  This Fall, be

 sure to "walk groundly, talk profoundly, drink roundly, and sleep soundly"
 and you will live all the days of your life.
 
 sure to "walk groundly, talk profoundly, drink roundly, and sleep soundly"
 and you will live all the days of your life.
 


@@ -55427,7 +55328,7 @@ You're not Dave.  Who are you?
 You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
                -- Dean Martin
 %
 You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
                -- Dean Martin
 %

-You're reasoning is excellent -- it's
+Your reasoning is excellent -- it's

 only your basic assumptions that are wrong.
 %
 You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny.
 only your basic assumptions that are wrong.
 %
 You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny.


@@ -55535,3 +55436,33 @@ since I first called my brother's father dad.
 Zymurgy's Law of Volunteer Labor:
        People are always available for work in the past tense.
 %
 Zymurgy's Law of Volunteer Labor:
        People are always available for work in the past tense.
 %

+Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.
+       -- Henry Ford
+%
+The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.
+       -- Henry Ford
+%
+Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason
+so few engage in it.
+       -- Henry Ford
+%
+It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our
+banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would
+be a revolution before tomorrow morning.
+       -- Henry Ford
+%
+A business that makes nothing but money is a poor business.
+       -- Henry Ford
+%
+We try to pay a man what he is worth and we are not inclined to
+keep a man who is not worth more than the minimum wage.
+       -- Henry Ford
+%
+If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right.
+       -- Henry Ford
+%
+A man who is master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he
+can invent a pleasure.  I don't want to be at the mercy of my
+emotions.  I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.
+       -- Oscar Wilde
+%