Offered horse brutality to a previously incorrect RHPS quote.

[bsdgames-darwin.git] / fortune / datfiles / fortunes-o.real

diff --git a/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real b/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real
index 967766bf271187b8b47ce0cb51aa85e6df92d011..2023bb3477f3ae09eb30ba9039516b24206196fd 100644 (file)
--- a/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real
+++ b/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real
@@ -543,7 +543,7 @@ GOD is applied POWER
                                            which is applied BULLSHIT
 %
 "God is as real as I am," the old man said.  My faith was restored, for
-I new that Santa would never lie.
+I knew that Santa would never lie.
 %
 "God is big, so don't fuck with him."
 %
@@ -611,7 +611,7 @@ finally hit upon the idea of woman and created Eve.
 He hated to mend, so young Ned
 Called in a cute neighbor instead.
        Her husband said, "Vi,
-       When you stitched up his torn fly,
+       When you stitched his torn fly,
 Did you have to bite off the thread?"
 %
 He wasn't much of an actor, he wasn't much of a Governor -- Hell, they
@@ -1041,7 +1041,7 @@ Obscenity is the crutch of inarticulate motherfuckers.
 %
 Occident, n.:
        The part of the world lying west (or east) of the Orient.  It
-is largely inhabited by Christians, powerful sub-tribe of the
+is largely inhabited by Christians, a powerful sub-tribe of the
 Hypocrites, whose principal industries are murder and cheating, which
 they are pleased to call "war" and "commerce."  These, also, are the
 principal industries of the Orient.
@@ -1488,7 +1488,6 @@ The word "spine" is, of course, an anagram of "penis".  This is true in
 almost fifty percent of the languages of the Galaxy, and many people
 have attempted to explain why.  Usually these explanations get bogged
 down in silly puns about "standing erect".
-               -- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
 %
 The world is an 8000 mile in diameter spherical pile of shit.
 %
@@ -2016,3 +2015,15 @@ into your coffee.  You:
 "You have to regard everything I say with suspicion -- I may be trying
 to bullshit you, or I may just be bullshitting you inadvertently."
                -- J. Wainwright, Mathematics 140b
+%
+       ... But among the children of the Great Society there were
+those whose skins were black.  And lo!  Their portion was niggardly,
+and of the fatted calf they were sucking hind teat ...
+       Now it came to pass that a prophet rose up amongst them, and
+they called him King.  And he went unto Pharaoh and said, "Let my
+people go to the front of the bus."
+       But Pharaoh answered: "In the fullness of time and with all
+deliberate speed shall this thing come to pass.  When ye shall prove
+yourselves worthy, shall ye have your just portion -- yea, verily, like
+unto a snowball in Hell."
+               -- "The Begatting of a President"