Add new fortune entry with a quote from Jozef Pilsudski

[bsdgames-darwin.git] / fortune / datfiles / fortunes

diff --git a/fortune/datfiles/fortunes b/fortune/datfiles/fortunes
index 5db8839b4686af2f6f4b931d8c403f5695aa010b..afdc9182de3aaa4cbe3341094d2d45077f13404b 100644 (file)
--- a/fortune/datfiles/fortunes
+++ b/fortune/datfiles/fortunes
@@ -1489,6 +1489,7 @@ Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.
 %
 Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged
 demo.
 %
 Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged
 demo.

+               -- Andy Finkel, Commodore-Amiga Inc.

 %
 Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
                -- Arthur C. Clarke
 %
 Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
                -- Arthur C. Clarke


@@ -3058,7 +3059,7 @@ Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
 Demand the establishment of the government
 in its rightful home at Disneyland.
 %
 Demand the establishment of the government
 in its rightful home at Disneyland.
 %

-Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than
+Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than

 we deserve.
                -- George Bernard Shaw
 %
 we deserve.
                -- George Bernard Shaw
 %


@@ -3489,7 +3490,7 @@ people wonder where the word "eggnog" comes from.  The first syllable
 comes from the English word "egg", meaning "egg".  I don't know where
 the "nog" comes from.
 
 comes from the English word "egg", meaning "egg".  I don't know where
 the "nog" comes from.
 

-To make eggnog, you'll need rum, whiskey, wine gin and, if they are in
+To make eggnog, you'll need rum, whiskey, wine, gin and, if they are in

 season, eggs...
 %
 Egotism is the anesthetic given by a kindly nature to relieve the pain
 season, eggs...
 %
 Egotism is the anesthetic given by a kindly nature to relieve the pain


@@ -4701,7 +4702,7 @@ God isn't dead, he just couldn't find a parking place.
 %
 God made machine language; all the rest is the work of man.
 %
 %
 God made machine language; all the rest is the work of man.
 %

-God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board
+God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.

                -- Mark Twain
 %
 God made the integers; all else is the work of Man.
                -- Mark Twain
 %
 God made the integers; all else is the work of Man.


@@ -5045,7 +5046,7 @@ I mean.  The answer is hot tubs.  A hot tub is a redwood container
 filled with water that you sit in naked with members of the opposite
 sex, none of whom is necessarily your spouse.  After a few hours in
 their hot tubs, Californians don't give a damn about earthquakes or
 filled with water that you sit in naked with members of the opposite
 sex, none of whom is necessarily your spouse.  After a few hours in
 their hot tubs, Californians don't give a damn about earthquakes or

-mass murderers.  They don't give a damn about anything , which is why
+mass murderers.  They don't give a damn about anything, which is why

 they are able to produce "Laverne and Shirley" week after week.
                -- Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw"
 %
 they are able to produce "Laverne and Shirley" week after week.
                -- Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw"
 %


@@ -5271,7 +5272,7 @@ motto is:  'It is very difficult to disprove certain kinds of pain.'"
 Hier liegt ein Mann ganz ohnegleich;
 Im Leibe dick, an Suenden reich.
 Wir haben ihn in das Grab gesteckt,    Here lies a man with sundry flaws
 Hier liegt ein Mann ganz ohnegleich;
 Im Leibe dick, an Suenden reich.
 Wir haben ihn in das Grab gesteckt,    Here lies a man with sundry flaws

-Weil es uns duenkt er sei verreckt.    And numerous Sins upon his head;
+Weil es uns duenkt, er sei verreckt.   And numerous Sins upon his head;

                                        We buried him today because
                                        As far as we can tell, he's dead.
                -- PDQ Bach's epitaph, as requested by his cousin Betty-Sue
                                        We buried him today because
                                        As far as we can tell, he's dead.
                -- PDQ Bach's epitaph, as requested by his cousin Betty-Sue


@@ -5345,7 +5346,7 @@ because they are too busy applying little price stickers to every
 object -- every board, washer, nail and screw -- in the entire store ...
        Let's say a piece in your toilet tank breaks, so you remove the
 broken part, take it to the home center, and ask an employee if he has
 object -- every board, washer, nail and screw -- in the entire store ...
        Let's say a piece in your toilet tank breaks, so you remove the
 broken part, take it to the home center, and ask an employee if he has

-a replacement.  The employee, who has never is his life even seen the
+a replacement.  The employee, who has never in his life even seen the

 inside of a toilet tank, will peer at the broken part in very much the
 same way that a member of a primitive Amazon jungle tribe would look at
 an electronic calculator, and then say, "We're expecting a shipment of
 inside of a toilet tank, will peer at the broken part in very much the
 same way that a member of a primitive Amazon jungle tribe would look at
 an electronic calculator, and then say, "We're expecting a shipment of


@@ -6232,7 +6233,7 @@ the point where it would not run at all.
                   Holes and the Fate of Stars"
 %
 I went to a job interview the other day, the guy asked me if I had any
                   Holes and the Fate of Stars"
 %
 I went to a job interview the other day, the guy asked me if I had any

-questions , I said yes, just one, if you're in a car traveling at the
+questions, I said yes, just one, if you're in a car traveling at the

 speed of light and you turn your headlights on, does anything happen?
 
 He said he couldn't answer that, I told him sorry, but I couldn't work
 speed of light and you turn your headlights on, does anything happen?
 
 He said he couldn't answer that, I told him sorry, but I couldn't work


@@ -7296,7 +7297,7 @@ my advice.
 In Tulsa, Oklahoma, it is against the law to open a soda bottle without
 the supervision of a licensed engineer.
 %
 In Tulsa, Oklahoma, it is against the law to open a soda bottle without
 the supervision of a licensed engineer.
 %

-In West Union, Ohio, No married man can go flying without his spouse
+In West Union, Ohio, no married man can go flying without his spouse

 along at any time, unless he has been married for more than 12 months.
 %
 Incumbent, n.:
 along at any time, unless he has been married for more than 12 months.
 %
 Incumbent, n.:


@@ -7887,7 +7888,7 @@ get a prompt, type like hell.
 %
 Just once, I wish we would encounter an alien menace that wasn't
 immune to bullets.
 %
 Just once, I wish we would encounter an alien menace that wasn't
 immune to bullets.

-               -- The Brigader, "Dr. Who"
+               -- The Brigadier, "Dr. Who"

 %
 Just out of curiosity does this actually mean something or have some
 of the few remaining bits of your brain just evaporated?
 %
 Just out of curiosity does this actually mean something or have some
 of the few remaining bits of your brain just evaporated?


@@ -8562,7 +8563,7 @@ given item.  One is on the shelf; someone has the others.  The
 information you need is in the others.
                -- Ray Simard
 %
 information you need is in the others.
                -- Ray Simard
 %

-Many years ago in a period commonly know as Next Friday Afternoon,
+Many years ago in a period commonly known as Next Friday Afternoon,

 there lived a King who was very Gloomy on Tuesday mornings because he
 was so Sad thinking about how Unhappy he had been on Monday and how
 completely Mournful he would be on Wednesday ...
 there lived a King who was very Gloomy on Tuesday mornings because he
 was so Sad thinking about how Unhappy he had been on Monday and how
 completely Mournful he would be on Wednesday ...


@@ -10654,7 +10655,7 @@ Quick!!  Act as if nothing has happened!
 %
 Quick, sing me the BUDAPEST NATIONAL ANTHEM!!
 %
 %
 Quick, sing me the BUDAPEST NATIONAL ANTHEM!!
 %

-Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.
+Quidquid latine dictum est, altum videtur.

 
 (Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.)
 %
 
 (Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.)
 %


@@ -13151,9 +13152,9 @@ The scum also rises.
                -- Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
 %
 The seven deadly sins ... Food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes,
                -- Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
 %
 The seven deadly sins ... Food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes,

-respectability and children.  Nothing can lift those seven milestones
-from man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the
-milestones are lifted.
+respectability and children.  Nothing can lift those seven millstones
+from Man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the
+millstones are lifted.

                -- George Bernard Shaw
 %
        The seven eyes of Ningauble the Wizard floated back to his hood
                -- George Bernard Shaw
 %
        The seven eyes of Ningauble the Wizard floated back to his hood


@@ -13216,11 +13217,11 @@ something badly enough, you can always go to Iceland and get it from
 the Russians.
                -- Marshall Brickman, Playboy, April, 1973
 %
 the Russians.
                -- Marshall Brickman, Playboy, April, 1973
 %

-               The STAR WARS Song
+            "Yoda", by "Weird Al" Yankovic;

        Sung to the tune of "Lola", by the Kinks:
 
 I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah
        Sung to the tune of "Lola", by the Kinks:
 
 I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah

-Where it bubbles all the time like a giant cabinet soda
+Where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda

        S-O-D-A soda
 I saw the little runt sitting there on a log
 I asked him his name and in a raspy voice he said Yoda
        S-O-D-A soda
 I saw the little runt sitting there on a log
 I asked him his name and in a raspy voice he said Yoda


@@ -13847,7 +13848,7 @@ except my father who wears red suspenders."
 %
 This Fortue Examined By INSPECTOR NO. 2-14
 %
 %
 This Fortue Examined By INSPECTOR NO. 2-14
 %

-This fortune cookie program out of order.  For those in desperate need,
+This fortune cookie program is out of order.  For those in desperate need,

 please use the program "________\b\b\b\b\b\b\b\brandchar".  This program generates random
 characters, and, given enough time, will undoubtedly come up with
 something profound.  It will, however, take it no time at all to be
 please use the program "________\b\b\b\b\b\b\b\brandchar".  This program generates random
 characters, and, given enough time, will undoubtedly come up with
 something profound.  It will, however, take it no time at all to be


@@ -16172,3 +16173,62 @@ ya get 1 whacked with a service pack,
 now there's 63,005 bugs in the code!!
 %
 "It's not very common in Crowthorne"
 now there's 63,005 bugs in the code!!
 %
 "It's not very common in Crowthorne"

+%
+            1) Don't expect fairings.
+            2) If confused read #1.
+%
+Cheer up. You could have all the problems you have now, and then also
+be named Eustace Clarence Scrubb.
+%
+Never leave a macassar and an antimacassar in the same room together.
+%
+Why did the furry install Unix? Because it supports catman(8).
+%
+Many people don't realize that trailhead doggerel is illegal -- but
+surely you've heard of "hike rhymes and misdemeanors"...
+%
+We all know political bumper stickers and some of us even put them on
+our cars. However, if you show up at headquarters on Friday afternoon
+after a long campaign week, you're more likely to see a stumper
+bicker.
+%
+When you're under siege by a winter storm, that's a "frontal assault".
+%
+Somebody has mail.
+%
+'Agnosis' is when you don't know. 'Diagnosis' is when you don't know
+twice.
+%
+An assortment of ways to be assimilated is a "smorgasborg".
+%
+The Navy's forever doomed to be inefficient because it's always trying
+to do things in a sub-optimal manner.
+%
+Q. What do you do if you find an abomination rooted in and need a
+druid in a hurry?
+A. Call the copse.
+%
+A truly great library contains something in it to offend everyone.
+-- Jo Godwin
+%
+Give a man a 0day and he'll have access for a day, teach a man to phish
+and he'll have access for life.
+-- the grugq
+%
+Information wants to be free and also extremely difficult to use.
+-- An ancient open source proverb
+%
+I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
+-- Mitch Hedberg
+%
+You, the Poles, have a funny nature. When the people going along the
+road are attacked by a dog with its insistent and noisy barking, you
+immediately feel like jumping off the vehicle, standing on all fours
+and starting to bark back at it. We, in the Vilnius region, let the
+dog bark because that is what its canine nature is like but we do not
+stop out journey because of its canine barking and without any war
+against dogs we calmly continue our journey until we reach our
+destination. It seems that you care more about barking more than the
+dog does and about winning the war with any lousy puppy than about
+reaching the destination quickly.
+-- Jozef Pilsudski