Offered horse brutality to a previously incorrect RHPS quote.

[bsdgames-darwin.git] / fortune / datfiles / fortunes

diff --git a/fortune/datfiles/fortunes b/fortune/datfiles/fortunes
index 2261a7f5c019adbc8685a04991f6f52c8561ace8..b139d495958ace2016aaebf8899818c8d24caf4c 100644 (file)
--- a/fortune/datfiles/fortunes
+++ b/fortune/datfiles/fortunes
@@ -1846,7 +1846,8 @@ Avoid reality at all costs.
 %
 "Avoid revolution or expect to get shot.  Mother and I will grieve, but
 we will gladly buy a dinner for the National Guardsman who shot you."
-               -- Dr. Paul Williamson, father of a Kent State student
+               -- Dr. Paul Williamson, father of a student entering
+                  school in the fall after the Kent State shootings
 %
 Bacchus, n.:
        A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for
@@ -2157,7 +2158,7 @@ Boston, n.:
        Ludwig van Beethoven being jeered by 50,000 sports fans for
 finishing second in the Irish jig competition.
 %
-"Boy, life takes a long time to live
+Boy, life takes a long time to live.
                -- Steven Wright
 %
 Boy, n.:
@@ -3835,7 +3836,7 @@ left hand corner of Prize Claim Form) and affix it to the 3x5 card
 below your address label. (d) Then print on your 3x5 card, above your
 computer-printed name and address the words "CARTER & VAN PEEL
 SWEEPSTAKES" (Use all capital letters.)  (e) Finally place 3x5 card
-(without bending) into a plain envelope [NOTE: do NOT use the the
+(without bending) into a plain envelope [NOTE: do NOT use the
 Official Prize Claim and CVP Perfume Reply Envelope or you may be
 disqualified], and mail to: CVP, Box 1320, Westbury, NY 11595.  Print
 this address correctly.  Comply with above instructions carefully and
@@ -4126,8 +4127,6 @@ Food for thought is no substitute for the real thing.
 %
 For 20 dollars, I'll give you a good fortune next time ...
 %
-For a good time, call (415) 642-9483
-%
 For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a
 cat.
 %
@@ -4368,7 +4367,7 @@ So are they all, all cool cats, --
 Come I to make this gig at Caesar's laying down.
 %
 Frisbeetarianism, n.:
-       The belief that when you die, your soul goes up the on roof and
+       The belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and
 gets stuck.
 %
 Frobnicate, v.:
@@ -7216,7 +7215,7 @@ In Corning, Iowa, it's a misdemeanor for a man to ask his wife to ride
 in any motor vehicle.
 %
 "In defeat, unbeatable; in victory, unbearable."
-               -- Winston Curchill, of Montgomery
+               -- Winston Churchill, of Montgomery
 %
 In Denver it is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door
 neighbor.
@@ -7781,8 +7780,8 @@ It's just a jump to the left
        And then a step to the right.
 Put your hands on your hips
        And pull your knees in tight.
-It's the pelvic thrust
-       That really gets you insa-a-a-a-ane
+But it's the pelvic thrust
+       That really drives you insa-a-a-a-a-ane!
 
        LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!
 
@@ -10651,10 +10650,10 @@ A:  One per person.
 Q:  How did you get into artificial intelligence?
 A:  Seemed logical -- I didn't have any real intelligence.
 %
-Q:  How many DEC repairman does it take to fix a flat ?
+Q:  How many DEC repairmen does it take to fix a flat ?
 A:  Five; four to hold the car up and one to swap tires.
 %
-Q:  How many DEC repairman does it take to fix a flat?
+Q:  How many DEC repairmen does it take to fix a flat?
 A:  Five; four to hold the car up and one to swap tires.
 
 Q:  How long does it take?
@@ -12293,7 +12292,7 @@ The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
 The cost of living is going up, and the chance of living is going
 down.
 %
-The cow is nothing but a machine with makes grass fit for us people to
+The cow is nothing but a machine which makes grass fit for us people to
 eat.
                -- John McNulty
 %
@@ -15398,7 +15397,7 @@ to a definite problem.  For better or worse you have acted decisively.
                -- R. A. Lafferty
 %
 "When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite." 
-               -- Winston Curchill, On formal declarations of war
+               -- Winston Churchill, On formal declarations of war
 %
 When you know absolutely nothing about the topic, make your forecast by
 asking a carefully selected probability sample of 300 others who don't