From 2672f49c7a571cf2503fea2b9bcaf15373dc4c3f Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: wiz Date: Wed, 11 Dec 2013 11:24:56 +0000 Subject: Error and typo fixes from OpenBSD and FreeBSD via Henning Petersen in PR 48442. --- fortune/datfiles/fortunes | 32 ++++++++++++++++---------------- 1 file changed, 16 insertions(+), 16 deletions(-) (limited to 'fortune') diff --git a/fortune/datfiles/fortunes b/fortune/datfiles/fortunes index cdbc4321..fde70e57 100644 --- a/fortune/datfiles/fortunes +++ b/fortune/datfiles/fortunes @@ -3058,7 +3058,7 @@ Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow. Demand the establishment of the government in its rightful home at Disneyland. % -Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than +Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve. -- George Bernard Shaw % @@ -3489,7 +3489,7 @@ people wonder where the word "eggnog" comes from. The first syllable comes from the English word "egg", meaning "egg". I don't know where the "nog" comes from. -To make eggnog, you'll need rum, whiskey, wine gin and, if they are in +To make eggnog, you'll need rum, whiskey, wine, gin and, if they are in season, eggs... % Egotism is the anesthetic given by a kindly nature to relieve the pain @@ -4701,7 +4701,7 @@ God isn't dead, he just couldn't find a parking place. % God made machine language; all the rest is the work of man. % -God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board +God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. -- Mark Twain % God made the integers; all else is the work of Man. @@ -5045,7 +5045,7 @@ I mean. The answer is hot tubs. A hot tub is a redwood container filled with water that you sit in naked with members of the opposite sex, none of whom is necessarily your spouse. After a few hours in their hot tubs, Californians don't give a damn about earthquakes or -mass murderers. They don't give a damn about anything , which is why +mass murderers. They don't give a damn about anything, which is why they are able to produce "Laverne and Shirley" week after week. -- Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw" % @@ -5271,7 +5271,7 @@ motto is: 'It is very difficult to disprove certain kinds of pain.'" Hier liegt ein Mann ganz ohnegleich; Im Leibe dick, an Suenden reich. Wir haben ihn in das Grab gesteckt, Here lies a man with sundry flaws -Weil es uns duenkt er sei verreckt. And numerous Sins upon his head; +Weil es uns duenkt, er sei verreckt. And numerous Sins upon his head; We buried him today because As far as we can tell, he's dead. -- PDQ Bach's epitaph, as requested by his cousin Betty-Sue @@ -5345,7 +5345,7 @@ because they are too busy applying little price stickers to every object -- every board, washer, nail and screw -- in the entire store ... Let's say a piece in your toilet tank breaks, so you remove the broken part, take it to the home center, and ask an employee if he has -a replacement. The employee, who has never is his life even seen the +a replacement. The employee, who has never in his life even seen the inside of a toilet tank, will peer at the broken part in very much the same way that a member of a primitive Amazon jungle tribe would look at an electronic calculator, and then say, "We're expecting a shipment of @@ -6232,7 +6232,7 @@ the point where it would not run at all. Holes and the Fate of Stars" % I went to a job interview the other day, the guy asked me if I had any -questions , I said yes, just one, if you're in a car traveling at the +questions, I said yes, just one, if you're in a car traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, does anything happen? He said he couldn't answer that, I told him sorry, but I couldn't work @@ -7296,7 +7296,7 @@ my advice. In Tulsa, Oklahoma, it is against the law to open a soda bottle without the supervision of a licensed engineer. % -In West Union, Ohio, No married man can go flying without his spouse +In West Union, Ohio, no married man can go flying without his spouse along at any time, unless he has been married for more than 12 months. % Incumbent, n.: @@ -7887,7 +7887,7 @@ get a prompt, type like hell. % Just once, I wish we would encounter an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets. - -- The Brigader, "Dr. Who" + -- The Brigadier, "Dr. Who" % Just out of curiosity does this actually mean something or have some of the few remaining bits of your brain just evaporated? @@ -8562,7 +8562,7 @@ given item. One is on the shelf; someone has the others. The information you need is in the others. -- Ray Simard % -Many years ago in a period commonly know as Next Friday Afternoon, +Many years ago in a period commonly known as Next Friday Afternoon, there lived a King who was very Gloomy on Tuesday mornings because he was so Sad thinking about how Unhappy he had been on Monday and how completely Mournful he would be on Wednesday ... @@ -10654,7 +10654,7 @@ Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened! % Quick, sing me the BUDAPEST NATIONAL ANTHEM!! % -Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur. +Quidquid latine dictum est, altum videtur. (Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.) % @@ -13151,9 +13151,9 @@ The scum also rises. -- Dr. Hunter S. Thompson % The seven deadly sins ... Food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes, -respectability and children. Nothing can lift those seven milestones -from man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the -milestones are lifted. +respectability and children. Nothing can lift those seven millstones +from Man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the +millstones are lifted. -- George Bernard Shaw % The seven eyes of Ningauble the Wizard floated back to his hood @@ -13845,9 +13845,9 @@ April, June, and no wonder. all the rest have peanut butter except my father who wears red suspenders." % -This Fortue Examined By INSPECTOR NO. 2-14 +This Fortune Examined By INSPECTOR NO. 2-14 % -This fortune cookie program out of order. For those in desperate need, +This fortune cookie program is out of order. For those in desperate need, please use the program "________randchar". This program generates random characters, and, given enough time, will undoubtedly come up with something profound. It will, however, take it no time at all to be -- cgit v1.2.3-56-ge451