-A computer called Illiac4
-Had a rather tough bug in its core.
- It chewed up its cards
- And spewed yards and yards
-Of illegible tape on the floor.
+A UNIX saleslady, Lenore,
+Enjoys work, but she likes the beach more.
+ She found a good way
+ To combine work and play:
+She sells C shells by the seashore.
%
A computer, to print out a fact,
Will divide, multiply, and subtract.
If the input was short of exact.
-- Gigo
%
+A crusader's wife slipped from the garrison
+And had an affair with a Saracen.
+ She was not oversexed,
+ Or jealous or vexed,
+She just wanted to make a comparison.
+%
+A dozen, a gross, and a score,
+Plus three times the square root of four,
+ Divided by seven,
+ Plus five times eleven,
+Equals nine squared plus zero, no more.
+%
A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis
Wished to foster an aura of menace;
To make people afraid
From which, to his woe
He couldn't get out with ESC.
%
+A limerick packs laughs anatomical
+Into space that is quite economical.
+ But the good ones I've seen
+ So seldom are clean,
+And the clean ones so seldom are comical.
+%
A linguist thought it a farce
That memory space was so sparse.
One day they increased it.
Said he as he seized it:
"At last! Enough core for the parse".
%
+A new dramatist of the absurd
+Has a voice that will shortly be heard.
+ I learn from my spies
+ He's about to devise
+An unprintable three-letter word.
+%
A progressive professor named Winners
Held classes each evening for sinners.
They were graded and spaced
Ran as slow as did he,
And that's not saying much for the turtle.
%
+A wonderful bird is the pelican.
+His mouth can hold more than his belican.
+ He can take in his beak
+ Enough food for a week.
+And I'm darned if I know how the helican.
+%
+Despising machines to a man,
+The Luddites joined up with the Klan,
+ And ride out by night
+ In a sheeting of white
+To lynch all the robots they can.
+ -- C. M. and G. A. Maxson
+%
+Flappity, floppity, flip
+The mouse on the m"\bobius strip;
+ The strip revolved,
+ The mouse dissolved
+In a chronodimensional skip.
+%
+If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker,
+It is slick to stick a lock upon your stock.
+ Or some joker who is slicker,
+ Will trick you of your liquor,
+If you fail to lock your liquor with a lock.
+%
+Limericks are art forms complex,
+Their topics run chiefly to sex.
+ They usually have virgins,
+ And masculine urgin's,
+And other erotic effects.
+%
+System/3! System/3!
+See how it runs! See how it runs!
+ Its monitor loses so totally!
+ It runs all its programs in RPG!
+ It's made by our favorite monopoly!
+System/3!
+%
+There once was a girl named Irene
+Who lived on distilled kerosene
+ But she started absorbin'
+ A new hydrocarbon
+And since then has never benzene.
+%
+There once was a member of Mensa
+Who was a most excellent fencer.
+ The sword that he used
+ Was his -- (line is refused,
+And has now been removed by the censor).
+%
+There once was an old man from Esser,
+Who's knowledge grew lesser and lesser.
+ It at last grew so small,
+ He knew nothing at all,
+And now he's a College Professor.
+%
+There was a young lady from Hyde
+Who ate a green apple and died.
+ While her lover lamented
+ The apple fermented
+And made cider inside her inside.
+%
There was a young lady from Niger
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger;
They returned from the ride
With the lady inside,
And the smile on the face of the tiger.
%
+There was a young man who said "God,
+I find it exceedingly odd,
+ That the willow oak tree
+ Continues to be,
+When there's no one about in the Quad."
+
+"Dear Sir, your astonishment's odd,
+For I'm always about in the Quad;
+ And that's why the tree,
+ Continues to be,"
+Signed "Yours faithfully, God."
+%
+There was a young poet named Dan,
+Whose poetry never would scan.
+ When told this was so,
+ He said, "Yes, I know.
+It's because I try to put every possible syllable into that last line that I can."
+%
+A computer called Illiac4
+Had a rather tough bug in its core.
+ It chewed up its cards
+ And spewed yards and yards
+Of illegible tape on the floor.
+%
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