uniq.

3 files changed, 0 insertions, 344 deletions

diff --git a/fortune/datfiles/fortunes b/fortune/datfiles/fortunes
index 3179d817..c9cd74ca 100644
--- a/fortune/datfiles/fortunes
+++ b/fortune/datfiles/fortunes
@@ -5127,10 +5127,6 @@ Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying
 of nothing.
 		-- Redd Foxx
 %
-Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying
-of nothing.
-		-- Redd Foxx
-%
 Heaven, n.:
 	A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of
 their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you
@@ -9351,8 +9347,6 @@ Noncombatant, n.:
 %
 Nondeterminism means never having to say you are wrong.
 %
-Nondeterminism means never having to say you are wrong.
-%
 Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
 %
 Not far from here, by a white sun, behind a green star, lived the
diff --git a/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2 b/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2
index ad3dab24..299a898f 100644
--- a/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2
+++ b/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2
@@ -3353,26 +3353,6 @@ provoked wry comments on the rather patchy papal infallibility, and
 Pope Sixtus had no recourse but to order the return and destruction of
 every copy.
 %
-	So Richard and I decided to try to catch [the small shark].  With
-a great deal of strategy and effort and shouting, we managed to maneuver
-the shark, over the course of about a half-hour, to a sort of corner of the
-lagoon, so that it had no way to escape other than to flop up onto the land
-and evolve.  Richard and I were inching toward it, sort of crouched over,
-when all of a sudden it turned around and -- I can still remember the
-sensation I felt at that moment, primarily in the armpit area -- headed
-right straight toward us.
-	Many people would have panicked at this point.  But Richard and I
-were not "many people."  We were experienced waders, and we kept our heads.
-We did exactly what the textbook says you should do when you're unarmed and
-a shark that is nearly two feet long turns on you in water up to your lower
-calves: We sprinted I would say 600 yards in the opposite direction, using
-a sprinting style such that the bottoms of our feet never once went below
-the surface of the water.  We ran all the way to the far shore, and if we
-had been in a Warner Brothers cartoon we would have run right INTO the beach,
-and you would have seen these two mounds of sand racing across the island
-until they bonked into trees and coconuts fell onto their heads.
-		-- Dave Barry, "The Wonders of Sharks on TV"
-%
 	So Richard and I decided to try to catch [the small shark].
 With a great deal of strategy and effort and shouting, we managed to
 maneuver the shark, over the course of about a half-hour, to a sort of
@@ -3523,24 +3503,6 @@ is the only thing for you.  Look what a lot of things there are to learn."
 		-- T.H. White, "The Once and Future King"
 %
 	The big problem with pornography is defining it.  You can't just
-say it's pictures of people naked.  For example, you have these primitive
-African tribes that exist by chasing the wildebeest on foot, and they have
-to go around largely naked, because, as the old tribal saying goes: "N'wam
-k'honi soit qui mali," which means, "If you think you can catch a wildebeest
-in this climate and wear clothes at the same time, then I have some beach
-front property in the desert region of Northern Mali that you may be
-interested in."
-	So it's not considered pornographic when National Geographic publishes
-color photographs of these people hunting the wildebeest naked, or pounding
-one rock onto another rock for some primitive reason naked, or whatever.
-But if National Geographic were to publish an article entitled "The Girls
-of the California Junior College System Hunt the Wildebeest Naked," some
-people would call it pornography.  But others would not.  And still others,
-such as the Spectacularly Rev. Jerry Falwell, would get upset about seeing
-the wildebeest naked.
-		-- Dave Barry, "Pornography"
-%
-	The big problem with pornography is defining it.  You can't just
 say it's pictures of people naked.  For example, you have these
 primitive African tribes that exist by chasing the wildebeest on foot,
 and they have to go around largely naked, because, as the old tribal
@@ -5084,16 +5046,6 @@ of this article.)
 "... bleakness... desolation... plastic forks..."
 		-- Zippy the Pinhead
 %
-... But if we laugh with derision, we will never understand.  Human
-intellectual capacity has not altered for thousands of years so far as we
-can tell.  If intelligent people invested intense energy in issues that now
-seem foolish to us, then the failure lies in our understanding of their
-world, not in their distorted perceptions.  Even the standard example of
-ancient nonsense -- the debate about angels on pinheads -- makes sense once
-you realize that theologians were not discussing whether five or eighteen
-would fit, but whether a pin could house a finite or an infinite number.
-		-- S. J. Gould, "Wide Hats and Narrow Minds"
-%
 ... C++ offers even more flexible control over the visibility of member
 objects and member functions.  Specifically, members may be placed in the
 public, private, or protected parts of a class.  Members declared in the
@@ -6510,10 +6462,6 @@ A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough
 to take it all away.
 		-- Barry Goldwater
 %
-A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough
-to take it all away.
-	-- Barry Goldwater
-%
 A grammarian's life is always intense.
 %
 A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges.
@@ -8025,15 +7973,6 @@ A wise person makes his own decisions, a weak one obeys public opinion.
 A witty saying proves nothing.
 		-- Voltaire
 %
-"A wizard cannot do everything; a fact most magicians are reticent to admit,
-let alone discuss with prospective clients.  Still, the fact remains that 
-there are certain objects, and people, that are, for one reason or another, 
-completely immune to any direct magical spell.  It is for this group of
-beings that the magician learns the subtleties of using indirect spells.
-It also does no harm, in dealing with these matters, to carry a large club
-near your person at all times."
-		-- The Teachings of Ebenezum, Volume VIII
-%
 A wizard cannot do everything; a fact most magicians are reticent to admit,
 let alone discuss with prospective clients.  Still, the fact remains that
 there are certain objects, and people, that are, for one reason or another,
@@ -8072,14 +8011,6 @@ A woman is like your shadow; follow her, she flies; fly from her,
 she follows.
 		-- Chamfort
 %
-A woman is like your shadow; follow her,
-she flies; fly from her, she follows.
-		-- Chamfort
-%
-A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure,
-it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy.
-		-- Nietzsche
-%
 A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to
 endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy.
 		-- Nietzsche
@@ -8088,10 +8019,6 @@ A woman must be a cute, cuddly, naive little thing -- tender, sweet,
 and stupid.
 		-- Adolf Hitler
 %
-A woman must be a cute, cuddly, naive
-little thing -- tender, sweet, and stupid.
-		-- Adolf Hitler
-%
 A woman of generous character will sacrifice her life a thousand times
 over for her lover, but will break with him for ever over a question of
 pride -- for the opening or the shutting of a door.
@@ -8410,12 +8337,6 @@ Here in New York we really don't care too much.  Because we know that we could
 beat up their city anytime.
 		-- David Letterman
 %
-According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in
-America is the city of Pittsburgh.  The city of New York came in twenty-fifth.
-Here in New York we really don't care too much. Because we know that we could
-beat up their city anytime. 
-		-- David Letterman
-%
 ACCORDION:
 	A bagpipe with pleats.
 %
@@ -8873,12 +8794,6 @@ Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
 		-- George Bernard Shaw
 %
 Alden's Laws:
-	(1)  Giving away baby clothes and furniture is the major cause
-	     of pregnancy.
-	(2)  Always be backlit.
-	(3)  Sit down whenever possible.
-%
-Alden's Laws:
 	1: Giving away baby clothes and furniture is the major cause
 	   of pregnancy.
 	2: Always be backlit.
@@ -9477,11 +9392,6 @@ R:		"We take tanks."
 An American's a person who isn't afraid to criticize
 the president but is always polite to traffic cops.
 %
-An anthropologist at Tulane has just come back from a field trip to New
-Guinea with reports of a tribe so primitive that they have Tide but not
-new Tide with lemon-fresh Borax.
-		-- David Letterman
-%
 An anthropologist at Tulane has just come back from a field trip to
 New Guinea with reports of a tribe so primitive that they have Tide but
 not new Tide with lemon-fresh Borax.
@@ -9978,13 +9888,6 @@ in short, I should have liked, I do confess, to have had the lightest
 license of a child, and yet been man enough to know its value.
 		-- Charles Dickens
 %
-And yet, seasons must be taken with a grain of salt, for they too have a
-sense of humor, as does history.  Corn stalks comedy, comedy stalks tragedy,
-and this too is historic.  And yet, still, when corn meets tragedy face to
-face, we have politics.
-		-- Dalglish, Larsen and Sutherland, "Root Crops and
-		   Ground Cover"
-%
 And yet, seasons must be taken with a grain of salt, for they too have
 a sense of humor, as does history.  Corn stalks comedy, comedy stalks
 tragedy, and this too is historic.  And yet, still, when corn meets
@@ -10640,11 +10543,6 @@ disgusting person are you," these letters typically ask, "that you make
 jokes about setting fire to a goat?" 
 		-- Dave Barry
 %
-As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and I
-thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life -- so I became a scientist.
-This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls.
-		-- M. Cartmill
-%
 As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and
 I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life -- so I became a scientist.
 This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls.
@@ -11206,9 +11104,6 @@ never really caught on.
 Back when I was a boy, it was 40 miles to everywhere, 
 uphill both ways and it was always snowing.
 %
-Back when I was a boy, it was 40 miles to everywhere, uphill both ways
-and it was always snowing.
-%
 BACKWARD CONDITIONING:
 	Putting saliva in a dog's mouth in an attempt to make a bell ring.
 %
@@ -14816,9 +14711,6 @@ Documentation:
 Documentation is the castor oil of programming.  Managers know it must
 be good because the programmers hate it so much.
 %
-Documentation is the castor oil of programming.
-Managers know it must be good because the programmers hate it so much.
-%
 Does a good farmer neglect a crop he has planted?
 Does a good teacher overlook even the most humble student?
 Does a good father allow a single child to starve?
@@ -14863,12 +14755,6 @@ I chase the bright elusive butterfly of love.
 Don't be humble, you're not that great.
 		-- Golda Meir
 %
-Don't be humble, you're not that great.
-                -- Golda Meir
-%
-Don't be irreplaceable.  If you can't
-be replaced, you cannot be promoted.
-%
 Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
 %
 Don't be overly suspicious where it's not warranted.
@@ -15311,9 +15197,6 @@ production of great leaders has been discontinued.
 Due to circumstances beyond your control, you are master of your
 fate and captain of your soul.
 %
-Due to circumstances beyond your control,
-you are master of your fate and captain of your soul.
-%
 Dungeons and Dragons is just a lot of Saxon Violence.
 %
 During almost fifteen centuries the legal establishment of Christianity has
@@ -16258,13 +16141,6 @@ There are no absolute continuums.  There are no surfaces.  There are no
 straight lines.
 	-- R. Buckminster Fuller
 %
-Everything you've learned in school as "obvious" becomes less and less
-obvious as you begin to study the universe.  For example, there are no
-solids in the universe. There's not even a suggestion of a solid.  There
-are no absolute continuums.  There are no surfaces.  There are no
-straight lines.
-		-- R. Buckminster Fuller
-%
 Everything's great in this good old world;
 (This is the stuff they can always use.)
 God's in his heaven, the hill's dew-pearled;
@@ -16330,10 +16206,6 @@ Excess on occasion is exhilarating.  It prevents moderation from
 acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.
 		-- W. Somerset Maugham
 %
-Excess on occasion is exhilarating.  It prevents
-moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.
-		-- W. Somerset Maugham
-%
 Excessive login messages is a sure sign of senility.
 %
 Execute every act of thy life as though it were thy last.
@@ -18186,9 +18058,6 @@ furbling, v:
 		-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
 %
 Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.
-		-- H. H. Williams
-%
-Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.
 		-- H.H. Williams
 %
 Furthermore, if we send something by car, it's a shipment...
@@ -18895,9 +18764,6 @@ Good night, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.
 Good night to spend with family, but avoid arguments with your mate's
 new lover.
 %
-Good night to spend with family,
-but avoid arguments with your mate's new lover.
-%
 Good salesmen and good repairmen will never go hungry.
 		-- R.E. Schenk
 %
@@ -19218,10 +19084,6 @@ Hacker's Law:
 	The belief that enhanced understanding will necessarily stir
 	a nation to action is one of mankind's oldest illusions.
 %
-Hacker's Law:
-	The belief that enhanced understanding will necessarily stir a
-	nation to action is one of mankind's oldest illusions.
-%
 Hackers of the world, unite!
 %
 Hacker's Quicky #313:
@@ -19338,10 +19200,6 @@ Hanson's Treatment of Time:
 	There are never enough hours in a day,
 	but always too many days before Saturday.
 %
-Hanson's Treatment of Time:
-	There are never enough hours in a day, but always too many days
-	before Saturday.
-%
 Happiness adds and multiplies as we divide it with others.
 %
 happiness, adv:
@@ -22485,8 +22343,6 @@ week sometimes to make it up.
 %
 I must have slipped a disk -- my pack hurts!
 %
-I must have slipped a disk; my pack hurts.
-%
 I myself have dreamed up a structure intermediate between Dyson spheres
 and planets.  Build a ring 93 million miles in radius -- one Earth orbit
 -- around the sun.  If we have the mass of Jupiter to work with, and if
@@ -23253,10 +23109,6 @@ I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in
 my body.  Then I realized who was telling me this.
 		-- Emo Phillips
 %
-I used to work in a fire hydrant factory.  You couldn't park anywhere near
-the place.
-		-- Steven Wright
-%
 I used to work in a fire hydrant factory.  You couldn't park anywhere
 near the place.
 		-- Steven Wright
@@ -23872,11 +23724,6 @@ If a train station is a place where a train stops, what's a workstation?
 If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever
 to get a "fix" of something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude
 that netnews is far more addictive than cocaine.
-		-- Rob Stampfli
-%
-If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever
-to get a "fix" of something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude
-that netnews is far more addictive than cocaine.
 	-- Rob Stampfli
 %
 If all be true that I do think,
@@ -24319,8 +24166,6 @@ If it happens once, it's a bug.
 If it happens twice, it's a feature.
 If it happens more than twice, it's a design philosophy.
 %
-If it has syntax, it isn't user friendly.
-%
 If it has syntax, it isn't user-friendly.
 %
 If it heals good, say it.
@@ -25153,9 +24998,6 @@ but there's only one Maltese Falcon.
 If you lose your temper at a newspaper columnist, he'll get rich, 
 or famous or both.
 %
-If you lose your temper at a newspaper columnist,
-he'll get rich or famous or both.
-%
 If you love someone, set them free.
 If they don't come back, then call them up when you're drunk.
 %
@@ -29252,8 +29094,6 @@ L'etat c'est moi.
 Let's do it.
 		-- Gary Gilmore, to his firing squad
 %
-Let's just be friends and make no special effort to ever see each other again.
-%
 Let's just be friends and make no special
 effort to ever see each other again.
 %
@@ -29261,14 +29101,6 @@ Let's just say that where a change was required, I adjusted.  In every
 relationship that exists, people have to seek a way to survive.  If you
 really care about the person, you do what's necessary, or that's the end.
 For the first time, I found that I really could change, and the qualities
-I most admired in myself I gave up.  I stopped being loud and bossy ...
-Oh, all right.  I was still loud and bossy, but only behind his back.
-		-- Kate Hepburn, on Tracy and Hepburn
-%
-Let's just say that where a change was required, I adjusted.  In every
-relationship that exists, people have to seek a way to survive.  If you
-really care about the person, you do what's necessary, or that's the end.
-For the first time, I found that I really could change, and the qualities
 I most admired in myself I gave up.  I stopped being loud and bossy...
 Oh, all right.  I was still loud and bossy, but only behind his back."
 		-- Kate Hepburn, on Tracy and Hepburn
@@ -29698,12 +29530,6 @@ Charlie Brown:
 	No, that's giving up.  I'm still hoping that yesterday
 	will get better.
 %
-Linus:	I guess it's wrong always to be worrying about tomorrow.  Maybe
-	we should think only about today.
-Charlie Brown:
-	No, that's giving up.  I'm still hoping that yesterday will get
-	better.
-%
 Linus' Law:
 	There is no heavier burden than a great potential.
 %
@@ -30092,10 +29918,6 @@ Love is always open arms.  With arms open you allow love to come and
 go as it wills, freely, for it will do so anyway.  If you close your
 arms about love you'll find you are left only holding yourself.
 %
-Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real
-with the ideal never goes unpunished.
-		-- Goethe
-%
 Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the
 real with the ideal never goes unpunished.
 		-- Goethe
@@ -30445,10 +30267,6 @@ Man is a military animal,
 Glories in gunpowder, and loves parade.
 		-- P.J. Bailey
 %
-Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon
-to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.
-		-- Oscar Wilde
-%
 Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he
 is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.
 		-- Oscar Wilde
@@ -31939,10 +31757,6 @@ My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four.
 Unless there are three other people.
 		-- Orson Welles
 %
-My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four.  Unless there
-are three other people.
-		-- Orson Welles
-%
 My doctorate's in Literature, but it seems like a pretty good pulse to me.
 %
 My experience with government is when things are non-controversial,
@@ -32732,10 +32546,6 @@ And tapes mixed up on the racks --
 Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.
 		-- Henry Kissinger
 %
-Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they would.
-The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect that much.
-		-- Augustine
-%
 Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they
 would.  The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect
 that much.
@@ -33412,13 +33222,6 @@ and/or frogs falling from the sky.
 %
 Note to myself: use real bullets next time.
 %
-Notes for a ballet, "The Spell:"  ... Suddenly Sigmund hears the
-flutter of wings, and a group of wild swans flies across the moon ...
-Sigmund is astounded to see that their leader is part swan and part
-woman -- unfortunately, divided lengthwise.  She enchants Sigmund, who
-is careful not to make any poultry jokes...
-		-- Woody Allen
-%
 Notes for a ballet, "The Spell": ... Suddenly Sigmund hears the flutter of
 wings, and a group of wild swans flies across the moon ... Sigmund is
 astounded to see that their leader is part swan and part woman --
@@ -33533,10 +33336,6 @@ Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.
 Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
 		-- Charlie Brown
 %
-Nothing takes the taste out of peanut
-butter quite like unrequited love.
-		-- Charlie Brown
-%
 Nothing that's forced can ever be right,
 If it doesn't come naturally, leave it.
 That's what she said as she turned out the light,
@@ -34274,8 +34073,6 @@ girl knelt by her bed to say her prayers.  "God bless Mommy and Daddy and
 Keith and Kim," she said.  As she began to get up, she quickly added, "Oh,
 and God, this is goodbye.  We're moving to Hollywood."
 %
-On the road, ZIPPY is a pinhead without a purpose, but never without a POINT.
-%
 On the road, ZIPPY is a pinhead without
 a purpose, but never without a POINT.
 %
@@ -35607,10 +35404,6 @@ People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
 People who have no faults are terrible;
 there is no way of taking advantage of them.
 %
-People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't
-what they want that they don't want it.
-		-- Ogden Nash
-%
 People who have what they want are very fond of telling
 people who haven't what they want that they don't want it.
 		-- Ogden Nash
@@ -35627,9 +35420,6 @@ cold baths.
 People who think they know everything
 greatly annoy those of us who do.
 %
-People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin
-Franklin said it first.
-%
 People will accept your ideas much more readily if
 you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.
 %
@@ -37547,9 +37337,6 @@ Everything I am today I owe to people, whom it is now
 to late to punish.
 %
 QOTD:
-I haven't come far enough and don't call me baby.
-%
-QOTD:
 I looked out my window, and saw Kyle Pettys' car upside down,
 then I thought 'One of us is in real trouble'.
 	-- Davey Allison, on a 150 m.p.h. crash
@@ -37819,10 +37606,6 @@ Reality must take precedence over public relations, for Mother Nature
 cannot be fooled.
 		-- R.P. Feynman
 %
-Reality must take precedence over public
-relations, for Mother Nature cannot be fooled.
-		-- R.P. Feynman
-%
 Really??  What a coincidence, I'm shallow too!!
 %
 Reappraisal, n:
@@ -37866,20 +37649,6 @@ Chase Econometrics have successfully predicted 14 of the last 3 recessions.
 Recipe for a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster:
 	(1) Take the juice from one bottle of Ol' Janx Spirit
 	(2) Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of
-		Santraginus V  (Oh, those Santraginean fish!)
-	(3) Allow 3 cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the
-		mixture (properly iced or the benzine is lost.)
-	(4) Allow four liters of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it.
-	(5) Over the back of a silver spoon, float a measure of
-		Qualactin Hypermint extract.
-	(6) Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger.  Watch it dissolve.
-	(7) Sprinkle Zamphuor.
-	(8) Add an olive.
-	(9) Drink... but... very carefully...
-%
-Recipe for a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster:
-	(1) Take the juice from one bottle of Ol' Janx Spirit
-	(2) Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of
 		Santraginus V (Oh, those Santraginean fish!)
 	(3) Allow 3 cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the
 		mixture (properly iced or the benzine is lost.)
@@ -38150,17 +37919,6 @@ Rhode's Law:
 	and infinitely so, until such time as it becomes advantageous to
 	assume otherwise, maybe.
 %
-Rhode's Law:
-	When any principle, law, tenet, probability, happening, circumstance,
-or result can in no way be directly, indirectly, empirically, or circuitously
-proven, derived, implied, inferred, induced, deducted, estimated, or
-scientifically guessed, it will always for the purpose of convenience,
-expediency, political advantage, material gain, or personal comfort, or any
-combination of the above, or none of the above, be unilaterally and
-unequivocally assumed, proclaimed, and adhered to as absolute truth to be
-undeniably, universally, immutably, and infinitely so, until such time as
-it becomes advantageous to assume otherwise, maybe.
-%
 Rich bachelors should be heavily taxed.  It is not fair that some men
 should be happier than others.
 		-- Oscar Wilde
@@ -39229,11 +38987,6 @@ aircraft carrier in the Formosa Straits.'
 		   bad fiction contest.
 %
 Sherry [Thomas Sheridan] is dull, naturally dull; but it must have taken
-him a great deal of pains to become what we now see him.  Such an excess of
-stupidity, sir, is not in Nature.
-		-- Samuel Johnson
-%
-Sherry [Thomas Sheridan] is dull, naturally dull; but it must have taken
 him a great deal of pains to become what we now see him.  Such an excess
 of stupidity, sir, is not in Nature.
 		-- Samuel Johnson
@@ -39660,15 +39413,6 @@ into this.
 	   composed for Linda Wertheimer of National Public Radio.
 	   From SPY Magazine, November 1992
 %
-So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage leaf to make an apple pie; and
-at the same time a great she-bear, coming up the street pops its head into
-the shop. "What! no soap?"  So he died, and she very imprudently married
-the barber; and there were present the Picninnies, and the Grand Panjandrum
-himself, with the little round button at top, and they all fell to playing
-the game of catch as catch can, till the gunpowder ran out at the heels of
-their boots.
-		-- Samuel Foote
-%
 So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage leaf to make an apple pie;
 and at the same time a great she-bear, coming up the street pops its head
 into the shop. "What! no soap?"  So he died, and she very imprudently
@@ -39733,14 +39477,6 @@ So...
 "Why not, David, it might even be fun."
 		-- Dating in Minnesota
 %
-So you see Antonio, why worry about one little core dump, eh?  In reality all
-core dumps happen at the same instant, so the core dump you will have tomorrow,
-why, it already happened.  You see, its just a little universal recursive joke
-which threads our lives through the infinite potential of the instant.  So go
-to sleep, Antonio, your thread could break any moment and cast you out of the
-safe security of the instant into the dark void of eternity, the anti-time.
-So go to sleep, ...
-%
 So you see Antonio, why worry about one little core dump, eh?  In reality
 all core dumps happen at the same instant, so the core dump you will have
 tomorrow, why, it already happened.  You see, it's just a little universal
@@ -40558,9 +40294,6 @@ editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
 Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the
 way before it is understood.
 %
-Subtlety is the art of saying what you think
-and getting out of the way before it is understood
-%
 Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names
 the streets after them.
 		-- Bill Vaughn
@@ -40970,10 +40703,6 @@ TAXES:
 	Of life's two certainties,
 	the only one for which you can get an extension.
 %
-TAXES:
-	Of life's two certainties, the only one for
-	which you can get an extension.
-%
 Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
 %
 TCP/IP Slang Glossary, #1:
@@ -42457,9 +42186,6 @@ The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions.
 %
 The finest eloquence is that which gets things done.
 %
-The first 90% of a project takes 90% of the time,
-the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time.
-%
 The first and almost the only Book deserving of universal attention is
 the Bible.
 		-- John Quincy Adams
@@ -42508,10 +42234,6 @@ The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half
 by our children.
 		-- Clarence Darrow
 %
-The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents,
-and the second half by our children.
-		-- Clarence Darrow
-%
 The first marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence,
 and the second the triumph of hope over experience.
 %
@@ -44938,10 +44660,6 @@ This means that only left handed people are in their right mind.
 %
 The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be
 taken seriously.
-		-- Hubert Humphrey
-%
-The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be
-taken seriously.
 	-- Hubert Humphrey
 %
 The right to be let alone is indeed the beginning of all freedom.
@@ -45560,10 +45278,6 @@ The trouble with opportunity is that it
 always comes disguised as hard work.
 		-- Herbert V. Prochnow
 %
-The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing --
-and then marry him.
-		-- Cher
-%
 The trouble with some women is that they get
 all excited about nothing -- and then marry him.
 		-- Cher
@@ -46383,13 +46097,6 @@ wonder.  There are also those who believe that if you stick your fingers up
 your nose and blow, it will increase your intelligence.
 			-- The Teachings of Ebenezum, Volume VII
 %
-"There are those who claim that magic is like the tide; that it swells and
-fades over the surface of the earth, collecting in concentrated pools here
-and there, almost disappearing from other spots, leaving them parched for
-wonder.  There are also those who believe that if you stick your fingers up
-your nose and blow, it will increase your intelligence."
-		-- The Teachings of Ebenezum, Volume VII
-%
 There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics.
 		-- Benjamin Disraeli
 %
@@ -46469,10 +46176,6 @@ and bad news.  The good news is that these guys are in top form.  I mean
 I have *never* heard them sound better.  They are *wailing* up here."
 	"The bad news is that God has this girlfriend that sings..."
 %
-There are two kinds of fool.  One says, "This is old, and therefore good."
-And one says "This is new, and therefore better."
-		-- John Brunner, "The Shockwave Rider"
-%
 There are two kinds of fool. One says, "This is old, and therefore good."
 And one says, "This is new, and therefore better"
 		-- John Brunner, "The Shockwave Rider"
@@ -47090,9 +46793,6 @@ Josh Gibson.  Only one thing is keeping them out of the big leagues, the
 pigmentation of their skin.  They happen to be colored.
 		-- Shirley Povich, 1941
 %
-There's a fine line between courage and foolishness.  Too bad it's not
-a fence.
-%
 There's a fine line between courage and foolishness.
 Too bad it's not a fence.
 %
@@ -47152,17 +46852,10 @@ along -- quite gracefully.
 There's a whole WORLD in a mud puddle!
 		-- Doug Clifford
 %
-There's always free cheese in a mouse trap.
-%
 There's always free cheese in a mousetrap.
 %
 There's an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to.
 %
-There's been no top authority saying what marijuana does to you.  I really
-don't know that much about it.  I tried it once but it didn't do anything
-to me.
-		-- John Wayne
-%
 There's been no top authority saying what marijuana does to you.
 I really don't know that much about it.  I tried it once but it
 didn't do anything to me.
@@ -48936,9 +48629,6 @@ Try to relax and enjoy the crisis.
 %
 Try to value useful qualities in one who loves you.
 %
-Trying to be happy is like trying to build a machine for which the only
-specification is that it should run noiselessly.
-%
 Trying to be happy is like trying to build a machine for
 which the only specification is that it should run noiselessly.
 %
@@ -49966,12 +49656,6 @@ socialism, because socialism is defunct.  It dies all by itself.  The bad
 thing is that socialism, being a victim of its ... Did I say socialism?
 		-- Fidel Castro
 %
-We are going to give a little something, a few little years more, to
-socialism, because socialism is defunct.  It dies all by itself.  The
-bad thing is that socialism, being a victim of its...
-Did I say socialism?
-		-- Fidel Castro
-%
 We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.
 		-- Dwight D. Eisenhower
 %
@@ -51045,9 +50729,6 @@ What good is an obscenity trial except to popularize literature?
 What good is having someone who can walk on water if you don't follow
 in his footsteps?
 %
-What good is having someone who can walk
-on water if you don't follow in his footsteps?
-%
 What good is it if you talk in flowers, and they think in pastry?
 		-- Ashleigh Brilliant
 %
@@ -51577,10 +51258,6 @@ When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the
 inattentions of one.
 		-- Helen Rowland
 %
-When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions
-of many men for the inattentions of one.
-		Helen Rowland
-%
 When a lion meets another with a louder roar,
 the first lion thinks the last a bore.
 		-- G.B. Shaw
@@ -52151,9 +51828,6 @@ When the ax entered the forest, the trees said, "The handle is one of us!"
 When the blind lead the blind they will both fall over the cliff.
 		-- Chinese proverb
 %
-When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking
-about themselves.
-%
 When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never
 talking about themselves.
 %
@@ -54141,11 +53815,6 @@ I met a man who wasn't there.
 He wasn't there again today --
 I think he's from the CIA.
 %
-Yesterday upon the stair
-I met a man who wasn't there.
-He wasn't there again today.
-I think he's from the CIA.
-%
 Ye've also got to remember that ... respectable people do the most
 astonishin' things to preserve their respectability.  Thank God
 I'm not respectable.
@@ -55356,11 +55025,6 @@ You will receive a legacy which will place you above want.
 %
 You will remember something that you should not have forgotten.
 %
-You will remember, Watson, how the dreadful business of the Abernetty family
-was first brought to my notice by the depth which the parsley had sunk into
-the butter upon a hot day.
-		-- Sherlock Holmes
-%
 You will remember, Watson, how the dreadful business of the Abernetty
 family was first brought to my notice by the |depth which the parsley
 had sunk into the butter upon a hot day.
diff --git a/fortune/datfiles/zippy b/fortune/datfiles/zippy
index fe95f180..f0b76bb4 100644
--- a/fortune/datfiles/zippy
+++ b/fortune/datfiles/zippy
@@ -521,8 +521,6 @@ I want to kill everyone here with a cute colorful Hydrogen Bomb!!
 %
 I want to perform cranial activities with Tuesday Weld!!
 %
-... I want to perform cranial activities with Tuesday Weld!!
-%
 I want to read my new poem about pork brains and outer space ...
 %
 I want to so HAPPY, the VEINS in my neck STAND OUT!!