Fix a bunch of typos and spelling errors.

1 files changed, 135 insertions, 135 deletions

diff --git a/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2 b/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2
index 7eb945a2..21165a8f 100644
--- a/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2
+++ b/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2
@@ -1610,7 +1610,7 @@ him arrested for carrying a congealed weapon.
 She's a women who conks to stupor.
 	Upon reading a story about a man who throttled his mother-in-law, a
 man commented, "Sounds to me like a practical choker."
-	It's not the inital skirt length, it's the upcreep.
+	It's not the initial skirt length, it's the upcreep.
 	It's the theory of Jess Birnbaum, of Time magazine, that women with
 bad legs should stick to long skirts because they cover a multitude of shins.
 %
@@ -1627,7 +1627,7 @@ after their wedding, he presented the lady to a friend who said politely,
 "Congratulations, Herr d'Albert; you have rarely introduced me to so
 charming a wife."
 %
-	Everthing is farther away than it used to be.  It is even twice as
+	Everything is farther away than it used to be.  It is even twice as
 far to the corner and they have added a hill.  I have given up running for
 the bus; it leaves earlier than it used to.
 	It seems to me they are making the stairs steeper than in the old
@@ -3616,7 +3616,7 @@ hitch the length and breadth of the Galaxy, struggle against terrible odds,
 win through and still know where his towel is, is clearly a man to be
 reckoned with.
 %
-	The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on
+	The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on
 the subject of towels.
 	A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an
 interstellar hitchhiker can have.  Partly it has great practical value.
@@ -3873,7 +3873,7 @@ Suckin' them hop toads, suckin' them chunkers,
 Suckin' them a leapy type, suckin' them flunkers.
 
 Look at them toad suckers, ain't they snappy?
-Suckin' them bog frogs sure make's 'em happy!
+Suckin' them bog frogs sure makes 'em happy!
 
 Them hugger mugger toad suckers, way down south,
 Stickin' them sucky toads in they mouth!
@@ -4009,7 +4009,7 @@ and escaped.
 off the tin cans by throwing them against the wall.  She was developing a good
 pitching arm and a new quantum theory.
 	The mathematician had stacked the unopened cans into a surprising
-solution to the kissing problem; his dessiccated corpse was propped calmly
+solution to the kissing problem; his desiccated corpse was propped calmly
 against a wall, and this was inscribed on the floor:
 	Theorem: If I can't open these cans, I'll die.
 	Proof: assume the opposite...
@@ -4743,7 +4743,7 @@ you are young.
     ***
   *******
  *********
- ****** Confucious say: "Is stuffy inside fortune cookie."
+ ****** Confucius say: "Is stuffy inside fortune cookie."
   *******
     ***
 %
@@ -5122,7 +5122,7 @@ What's that?  A chartreuse flamethrower?"
 	diversion renders John a hebetudinous fellow.
 -- A revolving concretion of earthy or mineral matter accumulates no congeries
 	of small, green bryophytic plant.
--- Abstention from any aleatory undertaking precludes a potential escallation
+-- Abstention from any aleatory undertaking precludes a potential escalation
 	of a lucrative nature.
 -- Missiles of ligneous or osteal consistency have the potential of fracturing
 	osseous structure, but appellations will eternally remain innocuous.
@@ -5137,7 +5137,7 @@ What's that?  A chartreuse flamethrower?"
 -- The person presenting the ultimate cachinnation possesses thereby the
 	optimal cachinnation.
 -- Abstention from any aleatory undertaking precludes a potential
-	escallation of a lucrative nature.
+	escalation of a lucrative nature.
 -- Missiles of ligneous or osteal consistency have the potential of
 	fracturing osseous structure, but appellations will eternally
 	remain innocuous.
@@ -5347,7 +5347,7 @@ QED: A sheet of paper is a lazy dog.
 %
 1 + 1 = 3, for large values of 1.
 %
-1.  If it doesn't smell like chilli, it probably isn't.
+1.  If it doesn't smell like chili, it probably isn't.
 2.  If you catch an exploding manhole cover, you can keep it.
 3.  Cabs driving on the sidewalk are not permitted to pick up passengers.
 4.  It's bad manners to lie down inside someone else's chalk body outline.
@@ -5492,7 +5492,7 @@ increase to more than $100,000,000 -- by which time it will be worth nothing.
 1/2 oz. gin
 1/2 oz. vodka
 1/2 oz. rum (preferably dark)
-3/4 oz. tequilla
+3/4 oz. tequila
 1/2 oz. triple sec
 1/2 oz. orange juice
 3/4 oz. sour mix
@@ -5834,7 +5834,7 @@ invariably sat silent.  The monk had already asked about a bean, a lake,
 and a moonlit night.  One day he brought to Tortue a piece of string, and 
 asked the same question.  In reply, the Grand Tortue grasped the loop 
 between his feet and, with a few simple manipulations, created a complex 
-string which he proferred wordlessly to the monk.  At that moment, the monk 
+string which he proffered wordlessly to the monk.  At that moment, the monk 
 was enlightened. 
 
 From then on, the monk did not bother Tortue.  Instead, he made string after 
@@ -5932,7 +5932,7 @@ A CODE OF ETHICAL BEHAVIOR FOR PATIENTS:
 	It is presumptuous to assume that such profound matters could be
 	explained in terms that you would understand.
 
-6. SUBMIT TO NOVEL EXPERIMANTAL TREATMENT READILY.
+6. SUBMIT TO NOVEL EXPERIMENTAL TREATMENT READILY.
 	Though the surgery may not benefit you directly, the resulting
 	research paper will surely be of widespread interest.
 %
@@ -5983,7 +5983,7 @@ A compliment is something like a kiss through a veil.
 		-- Joseph Campbell
 %
 A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention,
-with the possible exceptions of handguns and Tequilla.
+with the possible exceptions of handguns and Tequila.
 	-- Mitch Ratcliffe
 %
 A computer salesman visits a company president for the purpose of selling
@@ -6217,9 +6217,9 @@ He was something of an animist, however, and felt that the car really ought
 to have a name.  This presented a problem, as he was not sure if the name
 should be masculine or feminine.
 	After considerable thought, he settled on an naming the car either
-Belchazar or Beaumadine, but remained in a quandry about the final choice.
+Belchazar or Beaumadine, but remained in a quandary about the final choice.
 	"Is a Nissan male or female?" he began asking his friends.  Most of
-them looked at him pecularly, mumbled things about urgent appointments, and
+them looked at him peculiarly, mumbled things about urgent appointments, and
 went on their way rather quickly.
 	He finally broached the question to a lady he knew who held a black
 belt in judo.  She thought for a moment and answered "Feminine."
@@ -7055,7 +7055,7 @@ A memorandum is written not to inform the reader,
 but to protect the writer.
 		-- Dean Acheson
 %
-A method of solution is perfect if we can forsee from the start,
+A method of solution is perfect if we can foresee from the start,
 and even prove, that following that method we shall attain our aim.
 		-- Leibniz
 %
@@ -7193,7 +7193,7 @@ to his death.
 	"DUMB YANKEE."
 %
 A New Yorker was driving through Berkeley when he saw a big crowd gathered
-by the side of the street.  Curiousity got the better of him and he leaned
+by the side of the street.  Curiosity got the better of him and he leaned
 out of his window to ask an onlooker what was going on.  The fellow explained
 that a protestor against the U.S. position in South America had doused
 himself with gasoline and set himself on fire.  "That's terrible," gasped
@@ -8456,7 +8456,7 @@ Fuchsia:		Fast
 Gardenia:		Secret, untold love
 Honeysuckle:		Bonds of love
 Ivy:			Friendship, fidelity, marriage
-Jasmine:		Amiablity, transports of joy, sensuality
+Jasmine:		Amiability, transports of joy, sensuality
 Leaves (dead):		Melancholy
 Lilac:			Youthful innocence
 Lilly:			Purity, sweetness
@@ -8556,7 +8556,7 @@ his own."
 	It was so granted.
 %
 After his legs had been broken in an accident, Mr. Miller sued for damages, 
-claming that he was crippled and would have to spend the rest of his life
+claiming that he was crippled and would have to spend the rest of his life
 in a wheelchair.  Although the insurance-company doctor testified that his
 bones had healed properly and that he was fully capable  of walking, the
 judge decided for the plaintiff and awarded him $500,000.
@@ -10312,7 +10312,7 @@ say in those awkward situations?  Worry no more...
 	Wipe that smile off your face.
 	I don't believe you.
 	How many times have I told you to be careful?
-	Just beacuse.
+	Just because.
 %
 Are you a parent?  Do you sometimes find yourself unsure as to what to
 say in those awkward situations?  Worry no more...
@@ -10553,7 +10553,7 @@ As for the women, though we scorn and flout 'em,
 We may live with, but cannot live without 'em.
 		-- Frederic Reynolds
 %
-As Gen. de Gaulle occassionally acknowledges America to be the daughter
+As Gen. de Gaulle occasionally acknowledges America to be the daughter
 of Europe, so I am pleased to come to Yale, the daughter of Harvard.
 		-- J.F. Kennedy
 %
@@ -10570,7 +10570,7 @@ years, left the sect he was associated with.  The problem is that once the
 untrained mind has made a formal commitment to a religious philosophy --
 and it does not matter whether that philosophy is generally reasonable and
 high-minded or utterly bizarre and irrational -- the powers of reason are
-suprisingly ineffective in changing the believer's mind.
+surprisingly ineffective in changing the believer's mind.
 		-- Steve Allen
 %
 As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very
@@ -11081,7 +11081,7 @@ whereas good men eat and drink that they may live.
 %
 Bagdikian's Observation:
 	Trying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American newspaper
-	is like trying to play Bach's "St. Matthew Passion" on a ukelele.
+	is like trying to play Bach's "St. Matthew Passion" on a ukulele.
 %
 Bahdges?  We don't need no stinkin' bahdges!
 		-- "The Treasure of Sierra Madre"
@@ -11394,7 +11394,7 @@ different from being stoned on gin.
 %
 Being the #2 man in the Justice Department under Ed Meese is akin to
 standing next to a lamp post infested with pigeons.
-		-- unamed Justice Department official
+		-- unnamed Justice Department official
 %
 Being ugly isn't illegal.  Yet.
 %
@@ -11898,7 +11898,7 @@ Multics, adj:
 	brain-damaged is bad; it also implies it is unusable.
 %
 Brandy Davis, an outfielder and teammate of mine with the Pittsburgh Pirates,
-is my choice for team captain.  Cincinnatti was beating us 3-1, and I led
+is my choice for team captain.  Cincinnati was beating us 3-1, and I led
 off the bottom of the eighth with a walk.  The next hitter banged a hard
 single to right field.  Feeling the wind at my back, I rounded second and
 kept going, sliding safely into third base.
@@ -12528,7 +12528,7 @@ cerebral atrophy, n:
 impair the brain's performance.  An abundance of these "bad" cells can cause
 symptoms related to senility, apathy, depression, and overall poor academic
 performance.  A certain small number of brain cells will deteriorate due to
-everday activity, but large amounts are weakened by intense mental effort
+everyday activity, but large amounts are weakened by intense mental effort
 and the assimilation of difficult concepts.  Many college students become
 victims of this dread disorder due to poor habits such as overstudying.
 
@@ -13064,7 +13064,7 @@ It whispers of a more ergodic zone.
 		-- Stanislaw Lem, "Cyberiad"
 %
 Come fill the cup and in the fire of spring
-Your winter garment of repentence fling.
+Your winter garment of repentance fling.
 The bird of time has but a little way
 To flutter -- and the bird is on the wing.
 		-- Omar Khayyam
@@ -13601,7 +13601,7 @@ Cruickshank's Law of Committees:
 	will inevitably decide to implement the idea simply because so
 	much work has already been done on it.
 %
-Crusade for Cthulu!  It Found ME!
+Crusade for Cthulhu!  It Found ME!
 %
 Crush!  Kill!  Destroy!
 %
@@ -14151,7 +14151,7 @@ Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
 Delores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever
 skipping along smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious
 to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an
-overdose of flouride as a child which caused her to suffer from chronic
+overdose of fluoride as a child which caused her to suffer from chronic
 apathy, doomed herself to lie forever on the floor of her life as useless
 as an appendix and as lonely as a five-hundred pound barbell in a
 steroid-free fitness center.
@@ -15299,9 +15299,9 @@ But I'm goin' to heaven in a flash of fire,
 Eat as much as you like -- just don't swallow it.
 		-- Harry Secombe's diet
 %
-Eat drink and be merry!  Tommorrow you may be in Utah.
+Eat, drink, and be merry!  Tomorrow you may be in Utah.
 %
-Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we diet.
+Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we diet.
 %
 Eat one live frog the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will
 happen to either of you for the rest of the day.
@@ -16392,7 +16392,7 @@ at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly
 insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are
 so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty
 neat idea.
-		-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhicker's Guide to the Galaxy"
+		-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
 %
 Farmers in the Iowa State survey rated machinery breakdowns more
 stressful than divorce.
@@ -17074,7 +17074,7 @@ the person making the claim, not the critic.  It is not the responsibility
 of UFO skeptics to prove that a UFO has never existed, nor is it the
 responsibility of paranormal-health-claims skeptics to prove that crystals
 or colored lights never healed anyone.  The skeptic's role is to point out
-claims that are not adequately supported by acceptable evidcence and to
+claims that are not adequately supported by acceptable evidence and to
 provide plausible alternative explanations that are more in keeping with
 the accepted body of scientific evidence.
 		-- Thomas L. Creed, The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII,
@@ -17271,7 +17271,7 @@ CARTABLANCA:
 	trouble with the local French authorities who would really prefer
 	wine and the occupying Germans who believe that only their beer is
 	fit to be sold.  Wacky events ensue until the gripping climax in
-	which the much-hated German beer distributer is drowned in a vat.
+	which the much-hated German beer distributor is drowned in a vat.
 %
 FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE OBSCURE FILMS: #11
 
@@ -17616,7 +17616,7 @@ Fortune's Exercising Truths:
 5.  No matter what anyone tells you, isometric exercises cannot be done
     quietly at your desk at work.  People will suspect manic tendencies as
     you twitter around in your chair.
-6.  Next to burying bones, the thing a dog enjoys mosts is tripping joggers.
+6.  Next to burying bones, the thing a dog enjoys most is tripping joggers.
 7.  Locking four people in a tiny, cement-walled room so they can run around
     for an hour smashing a little rubber ball -- and each other -- with a hard
     racket should immediately be recognized for what it is: a form of insanity.
@@ -17652,11 +17652,11 @@ poothtick comes out crean.
 FORTUNE'S FUN FACTS TO KNOW AND TELL:		#1
 	A guinea pig is not from Guinea but a rodent from South America.
 	A firefly is not a fly, but a beetle.
-	A giant panda bear is really a member of the racoon family.
+	A giant panda bear is really a member of the raccoon family.
 	A black panther is really a leopard that has a solid black coat
 	    rather than a spotted one.
 	Peanuts are not really nuts.  The majority of nuts grow on trees
-		while peauts grow underground.  They are classified as a
+		while peanuts grow underground.  They are classified as a
 		legume-part of the pea family.
 	A cucumber is not a vegetable but a fruit.
 %
@@ -17798,7 +17798,7 @@ sharp-eared informant transcribed the following exchange between our hero
 and Rep. John D. Dingell, also of Michigan.
 
 Dingell: "There are places in the world at the present time where we are
-	  having to artifically propogate oysters and clams."
+	  having to artificially propagate oysters and clams."
 Hoffman: "You mean the oysters I buy are not nature's oysters?"
 Dingell: "They may or may not be natural.  The simple fact of the matter is
 	  that female oysters through their living habits cast out large
@@ -18231,12 +18231,12 @@ Getting into trouble is easy.
 %
 Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is liked getting kicked
 out of the Book-of-the-Month Club.
-		-- Melvin Belli on the occcasion of his getting kicked out
+		-- Melvin Belli on the occasion of his getting kicked out
 		   of the American Bar Association
 %
 Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
 
-Corrollary:
+Corollary:
 	Following the rules will not get the job done.
 %
 Getting there is only half as far as getting there and back.
@@ -18740,7 +18740,7 @@ Good-bye.  I am leaving because I am bored.
 Goodbye, cool world.
 %
 Goose pimples rose all over me, my hair stood on end, my eyes filled with
-tears of love and gratitude for this greatest of all conquerers of human
+tears of love and gratitude for this greatest of all conquerors of human
 misery and shame, and my breath came in little gasps.  If I had not known
 that the Leader would have scorned such adulation, I might have fallen to
 my knees in unashamed worship, but instead I drew myself to attention, raised
@@ -18993,7 +18993,7 @@ guru, n:
 %
 gy-ro-scope:
 	A wheel or disk mounted to spin rapidly about an axis and also
-	free to rotate about one or both of two axes perpindicular to
+	free to rotate about one or both of two axes perpendicular to
 	each other and the axis of spin so that a rotation of one of the
 	two mutually perpendicular axes results from application of
 	torque to the other when the wheel is spinning and so that the
@@ -19146,7 +19146,7 @@ Handel's Proverb:
 	You can't produce a baby in one month by impregnating 9 women!
 %
 handshaking protocol, n:
-	A process employed by hostile hardware devices to initate a
+	A process employed by hostile hardware devices to initiate a
 	terse but civil dialogue, which, in turn, is characterized by
 	occasional misunderstanding, sulking, and name-calling.
 %
@@ -19331,7 +19331,7 @@ Harvard Law:
 HARVARD:
 Quarterback:
 	Sophomore Dave Strewzinski... likes to pass.  And pass he does, with
-a record 86 attempts (three completions) in 87 plays....  Though Strewzinksi
+a record 86 attempts (three completions) in 87 plays....  Though Strewzinski
 has so far failed to score any points for the Crimson, his jackrabbit speed
 has made him the least sacked quarterback in the Ivy league.
 Wide Receiver:
@@ -19376,8 +19376,8 @@ but a lot harder than it appears.
 %
 Has the great art and mystery of politics no apparent utility? Does it
 appear to be unqualifiedly ratty, raffish, sordid, obscene and low down,
-and its salient virtuosi a gang of umitigated scoundrels?  Then let us
-not forget its high capacity to soothe and tickel the midriff, its
+and its salient virtuosi a gang of unmitigated scoundrels?  Then let us
+not forget its high capacity to soothe and tickle the midriff, its
 incomparable services as a maker of entertainment.
 		-- H.L. Mencken, "A Carnival of Buncombe"
 %
@@ -20892,7 +20892,7 @@ terrifies people the most.
 I acted to show my love for Jodie Foster.
 		-- John Hinckley
 %
-I ain't got no quarrle with them Viet Congs.
+I ain't got no quarrel with them Viet Congs.
 		-- Muhammad Ali
 %
 I allow the world to live as it chooses,
@@ -21106,7 +21106,7 @@ particularly if he has income and she is pattable.
 %
 I believe in an America where the separation of church and state is absolute
 -- where no Catholic prelate would tell the president (should he be Catholic)
-how to act, and no Protestant minister would tell his parishoners for whom
+how to act, and no Protestant minister would tell his parishioners for whom
 to vote -- where no church or church school is granted any public funds or
 political preference -- and where no man is denied public office merely
 because his religion differs from the president who might appoint him or
@@ -22382,7 +22382,7 @@ I've never seen a purple cow
 I never hope to see one
 But from the milk we're getting now
 There certainly must be one
-		-- Odgen Nash
+		-- Ogden Nash
 
 Ah, yes, I wrote "The Purple Cow"   
 I'm sorry now I wrote it
@@ -22624,7 +22624,7 @@ I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes.  I hope
 they do get 'em lowered down enough so people can afford to pay 'em.
 	-- The Best of Will Rogers
 %
-I see where we are starting to pay some attention to our neigbors to
+I see where we are starting to pay some attention to our neighbors to
 the south.  We could never understand why Mexico wasn't just crazy about
 us; for we have always had their good will, and oil and minerals, at heart.
 	-- The Best of Will Rogers
@@ -22850,7 +22850,7 @@ that I am!
 		-- Monty Python
 %
 "I think he said 'Blessed are the cheesemakers.'"
-"Nonsense, he was obviously referring to all manafacturers of dairy products."
+"Nonsense, he was obviously referring to all manufacturers of dairy products."
 		-- The Life of Brian
 %
 I think I'll snatch a kiss and flee.
@@ -23117,7 +23117,7 @@ the earth.
 		Sylvia Kamerman, "Book Reviewing"
 %
 I was at this restaurant.  The sign said "Breakfast Anytime."  So I
-ordered French Toast in the Rennaissance.
+ordered French Toast in the Renaissance.
 		-- Steven Wright
 %
 I was born in a barrel of butcher knives
@@ -23413,7 +23413,7 @@ I love America.  You always hurt the one you love.
 %
 I would rather be a serf in a poor man's house
 and be above ground than reign among the dead.
-		-- Achilles, "The Odessey", XI, 489-91
+		-- Achilles, "The Odyssey", XI, 489-91
 %
 I would rather say that a desire to drive fast
 sports cars is what sets man apart from the animals.
@@ -23857,7 +23857,7 @@ If food be the music of love, eat up, eat up.
 %
 If for every rule there is an exception, then we have established that there
 is an exception to every rule.  If we accept "For every rule there is an
-exception" as a rule, then we must conced that there may not be an exception
+exception" as a rule, then we must concede that there may not be an exception
 after all, since the rule states that there is always the possibility of
 exception, and if we follow it to its logical end we must agree that there
 can be an exception to the rule that for every rule there is an exception.
@@ -24056,7 +24056,7 @@ my shoulders.
 Mathematicians stand on each other's shoulders.
 		-- Gauss
 
-Mathemeticians stand on each other's shoulders while computer scientists
+Mathematicians stand on each other's shoulders while computer scientists
 stand on each other's toes.
 		-- Richard Hamming
 
@@ -24224,7 +24224,7 @@ If man is only a little lower than the angels, the angels should reform.
 		-- Mary Wilson Little
 %
 If mathematically you end up with the wrong
-answer, try multipying by the page number.
+answer, try multiplying by the page number.
 %
 If men acted after marriage as they do during courtship, there would
 be fewer divorces -- and more bankruptcies.
@@ -24373,7 +24373,7 @@ Their romance might have flourished.
 But he built tetrahedral in his shape,
 His ions ferric,
 Love could not help but die,
-Uncatylised, inert, and undernourished.
+Uncatalyzed, inert, and undernourished.
 %
 If society fits you comfortably enough, you call it freedom.
 		-- Robert Frost
@@ -24426,7 +24426,7 @@ put on a professor.
 %
 If the designers of X-window built cars, there would be no fewer than five
 steering wheels hidden about the cockpit, none of which followed the same
-prinicples -- but you'd be able to shift gears with your car stereo.  Useful
+principles -- but you'd be able to shift gears with your car stereo.  Useful
 feature, that.
 		-- From the programming notebooks of a heretic, 1990.
 %
@@ -25762,7 +25762,7 @@ have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
 In a minimum-phase system there is an inextricable link between
 frequency response, phase response and transient response, as they
 are all merely transforms of one another.  This combined with
-minimalization of open-loop errors in output amplifiers and correct
+minimization of open-loop errors in output amplifiers and correct
 compensation for non-linear passive crossover network loading can
 lead to a significant decrease in system resolution lost.  However,
 this all means jack when you listen to Pink Floyd.
@@ -25824,7 +25824,7 @@ teacher should know.  "I would not leave the definition of math," Dr. Honig
 said, "up to the mathematicians."
 		-- The New York Times, October 22, 1985
 %
-In California they don't throw their garbadge away -- they make
+In California they don't throw their garbage away -- they make
 it into television shows.
 		-- Woody Allen, "Annie Hall"
 %
@@ -25851,7 +25851,7 @@ be free of subjugation.
 %
 In computing, the mean time to failure keeps getting shorter.
 %
-In Cristianity, a man may have only one wife.
+In Christianity, a man may have only one wife.
 This is called Monotony.
 %
 In defeat, unbeatable; in victory, unbearable.
@@ -25941,7 +25941,7 @@ which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.
 		-- Mark Twain
 %
 In Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror,
-murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michaelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci
+murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci
 and the Renaissance.  In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had
 five hundred years of democracy and peace -- and what did they produce?
 The cuckoo-clock.
@@ -26327,7 +26327,7 @@ Increased knowledge will help you now.
 Have mate's phone bugged.
 %
 INCUMBENT:
-	Person of livliest interest to the outcumbents.
+	Person of liveliest interest to the outcumbents.
 %
 Indecision is the true basis for flexibility.
 %
@@ -26394,7 +26394,7 @@ Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations
 		It is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner if
 		dressed as a man.
 
-	Above the enterance to a Cairo bar:
+	Above the entrance to a Cairo bar:
 		Unaccompanied ladies not admitted unless with husband
 		or similar.
 
@@ -26843,7 +26843,7 @@ three more than the schedule allowed.
 	The control program manager had 150 men.  He asserted that they
 could prepare the specifications, with the architecture team coordinating;
 it would be well-done and practical, and he could do it on schedule.
-Futhermore, if the architecture team did it, his 150 men would sit twiddling
+Furthermore, if the architecture team did it, his 150 men would sit twiddling
 their thumbs for ten months.
 	To this the architecture manager responded that if I gave the control
 program team the responsibility, the result would not in fact be on time,
@@ -27323,7 +27323,7 @@ It may or may not be worthwhile, but it still has to be done.
 %
 It must be remembered that there is nothing more difficult to plan, more
 doubtful of success, nor more dangerous to manage, than the creation of
-a new system.  For the initiator has the emnity of all who would profit
+a new system.  For the initiator has the enmity of all who would profit
 by the preservation of the old institutions and merely lukewarm defenders
 in those who would gain by the new ones.
 		-- Niccolo Machiavelli, 1513
@@ -27398,7 +27398,7 @@ may have saved a U.S. Army unit from heavy casualties during the Grenada
 military rescue/invasion. Major General David Nichols, Air Force ... said
 the Army unit was in a house surrounded by Cuban forces.  One soldier found
 a telephone and, using his credit card, called Ft. Bragg, N.C., telling Army
-officiers there of the perilous situation. The officers in turn called the
+officers there of the perilous situation. The officers in turn called the
 Air Force, which sent in gunships to scatter the Cubans and relieve the unit.
 		-- Aviation Week and Space Technology
 %
@@ -27522,7 +27522,7 @@ and party!
 It's a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word.
 		-- Andrew Jackson
 %
-It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, and I'm wearing Milkbone underware.
+It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, and I'm wearing Milkbone underwear.
 		-- Cheers
 %
 It's a naive, domestic operating system without any
@@ -28276,7 +28276,7 @@ Karlson's Theorem of Snack Food Packages:
 For all P, where P is a package of snack food, P is a SINGLE-SERVING
 package of snack food.
 
-Gibson the Cat's Corrolary:
+Gibson the Cat's Corollary:
 
 For all L, where L is a package of lunch meat, L is Gibson's package
 of lunch meat.
@@ -28597,7 +28597,7 @@ LACTOMANGULATION:
 La-dee-dee, la-dee-dah.
 %
 Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps,
-Cross-eyed mosquitos and bowlegged ants,
+Cross-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants,
 I come before you to stand behind you
 To tell you of something I know nothing about.
 Next Thursday (which is good Friday),
@@ -30543,8 +30543,8 @@ chopsticks.  It looks easy until you try it.
 Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
 		-- Baskins
 %
-Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucine, but sharing the
-burden of finding the fettucine restaurant in the first place.
+Marriage is not merely sharing the fettuccine, but sharing the
+burden of finding the fettuccine restaurant in the first place.
 		-- Calvin Trillin
 %
 Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
@@ -30723,7 +30723,7 @@ May you have many beautiful and obedient daughters.
 May you have many handsome and obedient sons.
 %
 May you have warm words on a cold evening,
-a full mooon on a dark night,
+a full moon on a dark night,
 and a smooth road all the way to your door.
 %
 May you live in uninteresting times.
@@ -30757,7 +30757,7 @@ Maybe you can't buy happiness, but
 these days you can certainly charge it.
 %
 May's Law:
-	The quality of correlation is inversly proportional to the density
+	The quality of correlation is inveresly proportional to the density
 	of control.  (The fewer the data points, the smoother the curves.)
 %
 McDonald's -- Because you're worth it.
@@ -31673,7 +31673,7 @@ said, "So will you."
 My brain is my second favorite organ.
 		-- Woody Allen
 %
-My brother sent me a postcard the other day with this big sattelite photo
+My brother sent me a postcard the other day with this big satellite photo
 of the entire earth on it. On the back it said: "Wish you were here".
 		-- Steven Wright
 %
@@ -31686,7 +31686,7 @@ Yea, tho I walk through the valley of surprise quizzes,
 	I will fear no prof, for my calculator is there to hearten me.
 It prepareth a log table to comfort me, it prepareth an
 	arc sin for me in the presence of my teachers.
-It annoints my homework with correct solutions, my interpolations are
+It anoints my homework with correct solutions, my interpolations are
 	over.
 Surely, both precision and accuracy shall follow me all the days of my
 	life, and I shall dwell in the house of Texas instruments forever.
@@ -32422,7 +32422,7 @@ Flyin' in from London to your door
 New York-- lookin' down on Central Park
 Where they say you should not wander after dark.
 New York.
-		-- Simon and Garfunkle
+		-- Simon and Garfunkel
 %
 New York's got the ways and means, just won't let you be.
 %
@@ -33503,7 +33503,7 @@ You got nothing -- you got nothing at all...
 	It would take one shot -- to blow him away...
 		-- Shriekback, "Gunning for the Buddah"
 %
-Nuclear powered vacuuum cleaners will probably be a reality within 10 years.
+Nuclear powered vacuum cleaners will probably be a reality within 10 years.
 		-- Alex Lewyt (President of the Lewyt Corporation,
 		   manufacturers of vacuum cleaners), quoted in The New York
 		   Times, June 10, 1955.
@@ -34076,7 +34076,7 @@ held captive by his unblinking eye.
 Three golden orbs stand watch;
 one each to toll the day, hour, minute
 until predestiny decrees his reawakening.
-When that feared moment arives,
+When that feared moment arrives,
 "Ask not for whom the bell tolls,
 It tolls for thee."
 		-- "I extended the loan on your Camera, at the Pine
@@ -34191,7 +34191,7 @@ You must mind the file protections and not snoop around,
 	Or the bio bug'll getcha and bring the system down!
 %
 Once there was this conductor see, who had a bass problem.  You see, during
-a portion of Beethovan's Ninth Symphony in which there are no bass violin
+a portion of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony in which there are no bass violin
 parts, one of the bassists always passed a bottle of scotch around.  So,
 to remind himself that the basses usually required an extra cue towards the
 end of the symphony, the conductor would fasten a piece of string around the
@@ -34219,7 +34219,7 @@ While you pondered sentient and crystalline,
 Over many a broken and subordinate
 Volume of gnarly lore,
 While I pestered, nearly singing,
-Sudddenly there came a hewing,
+Suddenly there came a hewing,
 As of someone profusely skulking,
 Skulking at my chamber door.
 %
@@ -34842,7 +34842,7 @@ His device reportedly will save the government more than $6 million a year
 by replacing a more expensive helicopter maintenance tool with his own,
 home-made, hand-held model.
 
-Not suprisingly, we also have a couple of money-saving ideas that we submit
+Not surprisingly, we also have a couple of money-saving ideas that we submit
 to the Pentagon free of charge:
 
 	a. Don't kill anybody.
@@ -35598,7 +35598,7 @@ pig, n:
 	inferior in scope, for it balks at pig.
 		-- Ambrose Bierce
 %
-Pilfering Treasure property is paticularly dangerous: big thieves are
+Pilfering Treasure property is particularly dangerous: big thieves are
 ruthless in punishing little thieves.
 		-- Diogenes
 %
@@ -35854,7 +35854,7 @@ explain why it didn't happen.
 		-- Winston Churchill
 %
 Politics, like religion, hold up the
-torches of matrydom to the reformers of error.
+torches of martyrdom to the reformers of error.
 		-- Thomas Jefferson
 %
 Politics makes strange bedfellows, and journalism makes strange politics.
@@ -36542,7 +36542,7 @@ A:	Seven.  Scotty has to report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in
 	the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to procure a light bulb
 	from the natives, who, are friendly, but seem to be hiding something.
 	Kirk, Spock, Bones, Yeoman Rand and two red shirt security officers
-	beam down to the planet, where the two security officers are promply
+	beam down to the planet, where the two security officers are promptly
 	killed by the natives, and the rest of the landing party is captured.
 	As something begins to develop between the Captain and Yeoman Rand,
 	Scotty, back in orbit, is attacked by a Klingon destroyer and must
@@ -36570,7 +36570,7 @@ A:	"Twelve; one to screw the light-bulb in, and eleven to self-destruct
 	the ship out of disgrace."
 
 	[Warning: do not tell this joke to Romulans or else be ready for
-	a fight.  They consider this it to be a discrace, though it's
+	a fight.  They consider this it to be a disgrace, though it's
 	pretty good for a LBJ.  Ed.]
 %
 Q:	How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
@@ -36958,7 +36958,7 @@ A:	It wasn't IBM compatible.
 Q: What do you get when you cross a mobster with an international standard?
 A: You get someone who makes you an offer that you can't understand!
 %
-Q: What's the difference betweeen USL and the Graf Zeppelin?
+Q: What's the difference between USL and the Graf Zeppelin?
 A: The Graf Zeppelin represented cutting edge technology for its time.
 %
 Q: What's the difference between USL and the Titanic?
@@ -37036,7 +37036,7 @@ QOTD:
 	I love your outfit, does it come in your size?
 %
 QOTD:
-	"I may not be able to walk, but I drive from the sitting posistion."
+	"I may not be able to walk, but I drive from the sitting position."
 %
 QOTD:
 	"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"
@@ -37055,7 +37055,7 @@ QOTD:
 	horse with one of the horns broken off."
 %
 QOTD:
-	"I treat her like a throughbred, and she's STILL a nag!"
+	"I treat her like a thoroughbred, and she's STILL a nag!"
 %
 QOTD:
 	"I tried buying a goat instead of a lawn tractor; had to return
@@ -37313,7 +37313,7 @@ QOTD:
 "It wouldn't have been anything, even if it were gonna be a thing."
 %
 QOTD:
-Lack of planning on your part doesn't consitute an emergency
+Lack of planning on your part doesn't constitute an emergency
 on my part.
 %
 QOTD:
@@ -37352,7 +37352,7 @@ Quark!  Quark!  Beware the quantum duck!
 %
 Queensboro president Donald Mannis, charged with receiving bribes in
 exchange for city contracts, resigned on Tuesday.  Mannis feels he must
-devote more time to impending litigation, some of which might eminate
+devote more time to impending litigation, some of which might emanate
 from a recent statement he made comparing New York Mayor Ed Koch to
 Nazi Martin Bormann.  A spokesman from the Bormann estate said they are
 weighing the odds of a slander suit.  Mayor Koch could naturally be
@@ -37706,7 +37706,7 @@ the first one.
 %
 "Remember, if it's being done correctly, here or abroad, it's
 *not* the U.S. Army doing it!"
-		-- Good Morning VietNam
+		-- Good Morning Vietnam
 %
 Remember kids, if there's a loaded gun in the room, be sure
 that you're the one holding it.
@@ -38051,9 +38051,9 @@ Rules for Good Grammar #4.
 12:	Proofread your writing to see if you any words out.
 13:	Correct speling is essential.
 14:	A preposition is something you never end a sentence with.
-15:	While a transcendant vocabulary is laudable, one must be eternally
+15:	While a transcendent vocabulary is laudable, one must be eternally
 	careful so that the calculated objective of communication does not
-	become ensconsed in obscurity.  In other words, eschew obfuscation.
+	become ensconced in obscurity.  In other words, eschew obfuscation.
 %
 Rules for Writers:
 	Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.  Don't use no double
@@ -38488,11 +38488,11 @@ was a loud crash, and a bolt of lightning came down from the sky,
 struck the computers, and welded all the connections permanently
 together.  "There is now", came the reply.
 %
-Scintilate, scintilate, globule vivific,
+Scintillate, scintillate, globule vivific,
 Fain how I pause at your nature specific,
 Loftily poised in the ether capacious,
 Highly resembling a gem carbonaceous.
-Scintilate, scintilate, globule vivific,
+Scintillate, scintillate, globule vivific,
 Fain how I pause at your nature specific.
 %
 Scintillation is not always identification for an auric substance.
@@ -39466,7 +39466,7 @@ COMMUNISM:
 	Give both to the government.  The government gives you milk.
 CAPITALISM:
 	You sell one cow and buy a bull.
-FACISM:
+FASCISM:
 	You have two cows.  Give milk to the government.
 	The government sells it.
 NAZISM:
@@ -40489,7 +40489,7 @@ Fault:			You have fallen forward.
 Action Required:	See above.
 
 Symptom:		Opposite wall covered with acoustic tile and several
-			flourescent light strips.
+			fluorescent light strips.
 Fault:			You have fallen over backward.
 Action Required:	If your glass is full and no one is standing on your
 			drinking arm, stay put.  If not, get someone to help
@@ -40671,7 +40671,7 @@ Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
 %
 TCP/IP Slang Glossary, #1:
 
-Gong, n: Medieval term for privvy, or what pased for them in that era.
+Gong, n: Medieval term for privvy, or what passed for them in that era.
 Today used whimsically to describe the aftermath of a bogon attack. Think
 of our community as the Galapagos of the English language.
 
@@ -41687,7 +41687,7 @@ The course of true anything never does run smooth.
 The courtroom was pregnant (pun intended) with anxious silence as the
 judge solemnly considered his verdict in the paternity suit before him.
 Suddenly, he reached into the folds of his robes, drew out a cigar and
-cermoniously handed it to the defendant.
+ceremoniously handed it to the defendant.
 	"Congratulations!" declaimed the jurist.  "You have just become a
 father!"
 %
@@ -41930,7 +41930,7 @@ teaches me to suspect that my own is also."
 or to weaken it.  I am not able to believe one's religion can affect his
 hereafter one way or the other, no matter what that religion may be.
 But it may easily be a great comfort to him in this life -- hence it is a
-valuable posession to him."
+valuable possession to him."
 
 "I do not see how eternal punishment hereafter could accomplish any good
 end, therefore I am not able to believe in it. To chasten a man in order
@@ -42160,7 +42160,7 @@ to man are contained in it.
 		-- Abraham Lincoln
 
 ... the Bible ... is the one supreme source of revelation of the meaning of
-life, the nature of God and spirtual nature and need of men.  It is the only
+life, the nature of God and spiritual nature and need of men.  It is the only
 guide of life which really leads the spirit in the way of peace and salvation.
 		-- Woodrow Wilson
 %
@@ -42402,7 +42402,7 @@ You can live a life of fun.
 The good life was so elusive
 It really got me down
 I had to regain some confidence
-So I got into camaflouge
+So I got into camouflage
 %
 The good time is approaching,
 The season is at hand.
@@ -42600,8 +42600,8 @@ NOW -- McCLANAHAN!!!
 		-- The Rotton Apple (1963), Rue McClanahan
 
 *NOT FOR SISSIES! DON'T COME IF YOU'RE CHICKEN! 
-A Horrifying Movie of Wierd Beauties and Shocking Monsters...
-1001 WIERDEST SCENES EVER!!  MOST SHOCKING THRILLER OF THE CENTURY!
+A Horrifying Movie of Weird Beauties and Shocking Monsters...
+1001 WEIRDEST SCENES EVER!!  MOST SHOCKING THRILLER OF THE CENTURY!
 		-- Teenage Psycho meets Bloody Mary (1964)  (Alternate Title:
 		   The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and
 		   Became Mixed Up Zombies)
@@ -42700,7 +42700,7 @@ The nightmare terror of the slithering eye that unleashed agonizing
 horror on a screaming world!
 		-- The Crawling Eye (1958)
 
-SEE a female colossus... her mountainous torso, scyscraper limbs,
+SEE a female colossus... her mountainous torso, skyscraper limbs,
 giant desires!
 		-- Attack of the Fifty-Foot Woman (1958)
 
@@ -42718,7 +42718,7 @@ SEE Man-Fish Battle Shark-Man-Killer!
 See Jane Russell in 3-D; She'll Knock Both Your Eyes Out!
 		-- The French Line (1954)
 
-See Jane Russell Shake Her Tamborines... and Drive Cornel WILDE!
+See Jane Russell Shake Her Tambourines... and Drive Cornel WILDE!
 		-- Hot Blood (1956)
 %
 The Great Movie Posters:
@@ -42768,7 +42768,7 @@ The Greatest Mathematical Error
 July 1962 towards Venus.  After 13 minutes' flight a booster engine would
 give acceleration up to 25,820 mph; after 44 minutes 9,800 solar cells
 would unfold; after 80 days a computer would calculate the final course
-corrections and after 100 days the craft would cirlce the unknown planet,
+corrections and after 100 days the craft would circle the unknown planet,
 scanning the mysterious cloud in which it is bathed.  
 	However, with an efficiency that is truly heartening, Mariner I
 plunged into the Atlantic Ocean only four minutes after takeoff.
@@ -42979,7 +42979,7 @@ pointer and a mark.
 The introduction of a new kind of music must be shunned as imperiling
 the whole state, for styles of music are never disturbed without
 affecting the most important political institutions. ...  The new
-style, gradually gaining a lodgement, quitely insinuates itself into
+style, gradually gaining a lodgement, quietly insinuates itself into
 manners and customs, and from it ... goes on to attack laws and
 constitutions, displaying the utmost impudence, until it ends by
 overturning everything.
@@ -43174,7 +43174,7 @@ works of Shakespeare.
 legibility.  Betsy had either burned them or used them as pie bottoms.  The
 remaining three folios are now in the British Museum.
 	The only comparable literary figure was the maid who in 1835 burned
-the manuscript of the first volume of Thomas Carlyle's "The Hisory of the
+the manuscript of the first volume of Thomas Carlyle's "The History of the
 French Revolution", thinking it was wastepaper.
 		-- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
 %
@@ -43989,7 +43989,7 @@ The older I grow, the more I distrust the
 familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
 		-- H.L. Mencken
 %
-The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception a neccessity.
+The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception a necessity.
 		-- Oscar Wilde
 %
 The one day you'd sell your soul for something, souls are a glut.
@@ -44334,7 +44334,7 @@ begged that his life be spared.  When asked his reason, Sir John replied,
 worst poet in England."
 		-- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
 %
-The poetry of heroism appeals irresitably to those who don't go to a war,
+The poetry of heroism appeals irresistibly to those who don't go to a war,
 and even more so to those whom the war is making enormously wealthy."
 		-- Celine
 %
@@ -44545,7 +44545,7 @@ illiterates can read.
 		-- Alberto Moravia
 %
 The real man's Bloody Mary:
-	Ingredients: vodka, tomato juice, Tobasco, Worcestershire 
+	Ingredients: vodka, tomato juice, Tabasco, Worcestershire 
 	sauce, A-1 steak sauce, ice, salt, pepper, celery.
 
 	Fill a large tumbler with vodka.
@@ -44587,7 +44587,7 @@ depends on the unreasonable man.
 The reasons that each of these countries has had to renege on its
 financial commitments were all somewhat different: Argentina because of
 a war, Poland because of its vast misguided overinvestment in heavy
-industry, Honduras because the coffeee price went sour, Zaire because
+industry, Honduras because the coffee price went sour, Zaire because
 nobody in the government there has a clue as to how to run a country.
 		-- Paul Erdman's Money Book
 %
@@ -44849,7 +44849,7 @@ The solution to a problem changes the nature of the problem.
 The somewhat old and crusty vicar was taking a well-earned retirement from
 his rather old and crusty parish.  As is usual in these cases, a locum was
 sent to cover the transition period.  This particular man was young and
-active, and had the strange notion that church should also be avtive and 
+active, and had the strange notion that church should also be active and 
 exciting.  As a consequence he was more than a little dissapointed with the
 dull and tradition-bound church.  He decided to do something about it.
 	For his first Sunday, he didn't wear the traditional robes and
@@ -44954,7 +44954,7 @@ can smile in the face of the most terrible thought: meaningless, aimless
 existence recurring eternally.  The second characteristic of such a man is
 that he has the strength to recognise -- and to live with the recognition --
 that the world is valueless in itself and that all values are human ones.
-He creates himself by fashoning his own values; he has the pride to live
+He creates himself by fashioning his own values; he has the pride to live
 by the values he wills.
 		-- Nietzsche
 %
@@ -46641,7 +46641,7 @@ When she was good, she was very, very good
 And when she was bad, she was very, very popular.
 		-- Max Miller, "The Max Miller Blue Book"
 %
-There was a man who enjoyed playing golf, and could occasionallly put up
+There was a man who enjoyed playing golf, and could occasionally put up
 with taking in a round with his wife.  One time (with his wife along) he
 was having an extremely bad round.  On the 12th hole, he sliced a drive
 over by a grounds-keepers' shack.  Although he did not have a clear shot
@@ -46837,7 +46837,7 @@ Oh, hard is the struggle, and sparse is
 	The gain of the one at the top,
 For art is a form of catharsis,
 	And love is a permanent flop,
-And work is the provence of cattle,
+And work is the province of cattle,
 	And rest's for a clam in a shell,
 So I'm thinking of throwing the battle --
 	Would you kindly direct me to hell?
@@ -47553,7 +47553,7 @@ Those who sweat in flames of hell,	Leaden eared, some thought their bowels
 Here's the reason that they fell:	Lispeth forth the sweetest vowels.
 While on earth they prayed in SAS,	These they offered up in praise
 PL/1, or other crass,			Thinking all this fetid haze
-Vulgar tongue.				A rapsody sung.
+Vulgar tongue.				A rhapsody sung.
 
 Some the lord did sorely try		Jabber of the mindless horde
 Assembling all their pleas in hex.	Sequel next did mock the lord
@@ -48051,7 +48051,7 @@ To err is human, to forgive is against company policy.
 To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.
 %
 To err is human; to forgive is simply not our policy.
-		-- MIT Assasination Club
+		-- MIT Assassination Club
 %
 To err is human, to forgive unusual.
 %
@@ -48071,7 +48071,7 @@ To purr feline.
 %
 To err is humor.
 %
-To everything there is a season, a time for every pupose under heaven:
+To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven:
 A time to be born, and a time to die;
 A time to plant, and a time to pluck what is planted;
 A time to kill, and a time to heal;
@@ -48249,9 +48249,9 @@ may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness.
 to ensure any possible benefit for which you may be eligible after the
 destruction of your body, I ask that this, whatever it may be, be granted
 or withheld, as the case may be, in such a manner as to ensure your
-receving said benefit.
+receiving said benefit.
 	I ask this in my capacity as your elected intermediary between
-yourself and that which may have an interest in the matter of your receving
+yourself and that which may have an interest in the matter of your receiving
 as much as it is possible for you to receive of this thing, and which may
 in some way be influenced by this ceremony.
 	Amen.
@@ -48324,7 +48324,7 @@ cereal that gets soggy even without milk or cream.  Join us soon for more
 spectacular adventure starring...  Tippy, the Wonder Dog!
 		-- Bob & Ray
 %
-Todays weirdness is tomorrows reason why.
+Today's weirdness is tomorrow's reason why.
 		-- H.S. Thompson
 %
 Toddlers are the stormtroopers of the Lord of Entropy.
@@ -48764,7 +48764,7 @@ Only programmed for battle, it hadn't a heart;
 It couldn't be tested, and no one could tell,
 If the crazy contraption would work very well.
 So after a trillion or two had been spent
-The system thought Santa a Red missle sent.
+The system thought Santa a Red missile sent.
 So kids dry your tears now, and get off to bed,
 There won't be a Christmas -- since Santa is dead.
 %
@@ -49057,7 +49057,7 @@ of more feet, just to be sure.
 		-- Eric Allman
 
 ... We make rope.
-		-- Rob Gingell on Sun Microsystem's new virtual memory.
+		-- Rob Gingell on Sun Microsystems' new virtual memory.
 %
 Unix is a lot more complicated (than CP/M) of course -- the typical Unix
 hacker can never remember what the PRINT command is called this week --
@@ -49197,7 +49197,7 @@ Fish are fast moving vegetables.
 Mushrooms are what grows on vegetables when food's done with them.
 		-- Meat Eater's Credo, according to Jim Williams
 %
-Vegeterians beware!  You are what you eat.
+Vegetarians beware!  You are what you eat.
 %
 Velilind's Laws of Experimentation:
 	1. If reproducibility may be a problem, conduct the test only once.
@@ -49895,7 +49895,7 @@ and speak English.
 %
 We may not be able to persuade Hindus that Jesus and not Vishnu should govern
 their spiritual horizon, nor Moslems that Lord Buddha is at the center of
-their spiritual universe, nor Hebrews that Mohammed is a major prohpet, nor
+their spiritual universe, nor Hebrews that Mohammed is a major prophet, nor
 Christians that Shinto best expresses their spiritual concerns, to say
 nothing of the fact that we may not be able to get Christians to agree among
 themselves about their relationship to God.  But all will agree on a
@@ -50382,7 +50382,7 @@ Sitting at a table, dealing stud,
 Sat that dirty (bleep) that named me Sue.
 ...
 Now, I knew that snake was my own sweet Dad,
-From a wornout picture that my Mother had,
+From a worn-out picture that my Mother had,
 And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye...
 		-- Johnny Cash, "A Boy Named Sue"
 %
@@ -50988,7 +50988,7 @@ a long way with his skills."
 	(We hoped he'd go as far as possible.)
 "You won't find many people like her."
 	(In fact, most people can't stand being around her.)
-"I cannot reccommend him too highly."
+"I cannot recommend him too highly."
 	(However, to the best of my knowledge, he has never committed a
 	 felony in my presence.)
 %
@@ -51728,7 +51728,7 @@ every week you're away and get nothing done, there's another when your boss
 is away and you get twice as much done.
 		-- Daniel B. Luten
 %
-When smashing monuments, save the pedstals -- they always come in handy.
+When smashing monuments, save the pedestals -- they always come in handy.
 		-- Stanislaw J. Lem, "Unkempt Thoughts"
 %
 When some people decide it's time for everyone to make
@@ -52678,7 +52678,7 @@ Why I Can't Go Out With You:
 
 I'd LOVE to, but...
 	-- I have to floss my cat.
-	-- I've dedicated my life to linguini.
+	-- I've dedicated my life to linguine.
 	-- I need to spend more time with my blender.
 	-- It wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.
 	-- It's my night to pet the dog/ferret/goldfish/radio.
@@ -52764,7 +52764,7 @@ incessantly repeated blunders, obtaining a glimmering of truth by falling
 into every conceivable error, dimly discerning light enough for our daily
 needs, but hopelessly differing whenever we attempt to describe the ultimate
 origin or end of our paths; and yet, when one of us ventures to declare that
-we don't know the map of the universe as well as the map of our infintesimal
+we don't know the map of the universe as well as the map of our infinitesimal
 parish, he is hooted, reviled, and perhaps told that he will be damned to all
 eternity for his faithlessness.
 		-- Leslie Stephen, "An Agnostic's Apology",
@@ -53942,7 +53942,7 @@ chewing on your leg, a troglodyte is bashing your brains out with a
 gold nugget, a crocodile is removing large chunks of flesh from you, a
 rhinoceros is goring you with his horn, a sabre-tooth cat is busy
 trying to disembowel you, you are being trampled by a large mammoth, a
-vampire is sucking you dry, a Tyranosaurus Rex is sinking his six inch
+vampire is sucking you dry, a Tyrannosaurus Rex is sinking his six inch
 long fangs into various parts of your anatomy, a large bear is
 dismembering your body, a gargoyle is bouncing up and down on your
 head, a burly troll is tearing you limb from limb, several dire wolves
@@ -55163,7 +55163,7 @@ AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)
 	You have nothing better to think about than what to wear and what
 type of champagne to take to the neighbors Halloween Party.  Just take beer!
 Don't try to copy the "Joneses", pull them up to your level and remember, in
-California Hoalloween is redundant anyhow.
+California Halloween is redundant anyhow.
 
 PISCES (Feb. 19 - March 20)
 	Focus on strengthening friendships this Fall.  You find others are