My god, it's full of typos (still is).

3 files changed, 109 insertions, 109 deletions

diff --git a/fortune/datfiles/fortunes b/fortune/datfiles/fortunes
index 2626a9d4..eac7ca45 100644
--- a/fortune/datfiles/fortunes
+++ b/fortune/datfiles/fortunes
@@ -309,7 +309,7 @@ ducks.
 A girl and a boy bump into each other -- surely an accident.
 A girl and a boy bump and her handkerchief drops -- surely another accident.
 But when a girl gives a boy a dead squid -- *____that ___had __to ____mean _________something*.
-		-- S. Morganstern, "The Silent Gondoliers"
+		-- S. Morgenstern, "The Silent Gondoliers"
 %
 A gleekzorp without a tornpee is like a quop without a fertsneet (sort
 of).
@@ -1428,7 +1428,7 @@ tragedy face to face, we have politics.
 %
 Andrea: Unhappy the land that has no heroes.
 Galileo: No, unhappy the land that _____needs heroes.
-		-- Bertholt Brecht, "Life of Galileo"
+		-- Bertolt Brecht, "Life of Galileo"
 %
 Angels we have heard on High
 Tell us to go out and Buy.
@@ -4899,7 +4899,7 @@ Grelb's Reminder:
 average drivers.
 %
 Grub first, then ethics.
-		-- Bertholt Brecht
+		-- Bertolt Brecht
 %
 Gurmlish, n.:
 	The red warning flag at the top of a club sandwich which
@@ -10307,7 +10307,7 @@ Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
 %
 PL/1, "the fatal disease", belongs more to the problem set than to the
 solution set.
-		-- E. W. Dijkstra, SIGPLAN Notices, Volume 17, Number 5
+		-- Edsger W. Dijkstra, SIGPLAN Notices, Volume 17, Number 5
 %
 Plaese porrf raed.
 		-- Prof. Michael O'Longhlin, S.U.N.Y. Purchase
@@ -13470,7 +13470,7 @@ world put together.
 %
 The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be
 regarded as a criminal offense.
-		-- E. W. Dijkstra, SIGPLAN Notices, Volume 17, Number 5
+		-- Edsger W. Dijkstra, SIGPLAN Notices, Volume 17, Number 5
 %
 The verdict of a jury is the a priori opinion of that juror who smokes
 the worst cigars.
@@ -15061,7 +15061,7 @@ and the establishment of a Hilton on its peak.
 		-- Bloom County
 %
 What is the robbing of a bank compared to the FOUNDING of a bank?
-		-- Berthold Brecht
+		-- Bertolt Brecht
 %
 What is wanted is not the will to believe, but the will to find out,
 which is the exact opposite.
@@ -15449,7 +15449,7 @@ have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing.
 		-- Ian Shoales
 %
 Why be a man when you can be a success?
-		-- Berthold Brecht
+		-- Bertolt Brecht
 %
 Why bother building any more nuclear warheads until we use the ones we
 have?
diff --git a/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2 b/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2
index 5341f26d..d5452c83 100644
--- a/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2
+++ b/fortune/datfiles/fortunes2
@@ -1105,7 +1105,7 @@ going to it is so large.
 electronics more likely to leak than say Bosch?  Hmmm...  Aha!!!  Lucas is
 British, and all things British leak!  British convertible tops leak water,
 British engines leak oil, British displacer units leak hydrostatic fluid, and
-I might add Brititsh tires leak air, and the British defense unit leaks
+I might add British tires leak air, and the British defense unit leaks
 secrets... so naturally British electronics leak smoke.
 		-- Jack Banton, PCC Automotive Electrical School
 %
@@ -1182,7 +1182,7 @@ favorite robot, faithful old Yewtoo Artoo, to carry his gear and do assorted
 camp chores.
 	The Israelites soon got over their initial fear of the robot and,
 	as the months passed, became very fond of him.  Patriarchs took to
-discussing abtruse theological problems with him, and each evening the
+discussing abstruse theological problems with him, and each evening the
 children all gathered to hear the many stories with which he was programmed.
 Therefore it came as a great shock to them when, just as their journey was
 ending, he abruptly wore out.  Even Feghoot couldn't console them.
@@ -1367,10 +1367,10 @@ posh hotel.
 a postcard?"
 %
 	"Anything else you wish to draw to my attention, Mr. Holmes ?"
-	"The curious incident of the stable dog in the nightime."
+	"The curious incident of the stable dog in the nighttime."
 	"But the dog did nothing in the nighttime."
 	"That was the curious incident."
-		-- A. Conan Doyle, "Silver Blaze"
+		-- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, "Silver Blaze"
 %
 	Approaching the gates of the monastery, Hakuin found Ken the Zen
 preaching to a group of disciples.
@@ -1442,7 +1442,7 @@ Chinese ideogram for NO-THING.)
 	}
 %
 	Brian Kernighan has an automobile which he helped design.
-Unlike most automobiles, it has neither speedometer, nor gas guage, nor
+Unlike most automobiles, it has neither speedometer, nor gas gauge, nor
 any of the numerous idiot lights which plague the modern driver.
 Rather, if the driver makes any mistake, a giant "?" lights up in the
 center of the dashboard.  "The experienced driver", he says, "will
@@ -1644,7 +1644,7 @@ far to the corner and they have added a hill.  I have given up running for
 the bus; it leaves earlier than it used to.
 	It seems to me they are making the stairs steeper than in the old
 days.  And have you noticed the smaller print they use in the newspapers?
-	There is no sense in asking anyone to read aloud anymore, as everbody
+	There is no sense in asking anyone to read aloud anymore, as everybody
 speaks in such a low voice I can hardly hear them.
 	The material in dresses is so skimpy now, especially around the hips
 and waist, that it is almost impossible to reach one's shoelaces.  And the
@@ -1733,7 +1733,7 @@ had the same fiancee, and told him.  "Get out of our lives you rascal.  We'll
 teach you that you can't have your Kate and Edith, too."
 	A domineering man married a mere wisp of a girl.  He came back from
 his honeymoon a chastened man.  He'd become aware of the will of the wisp.
-	A young husband with an inferiorty complex insisted he was just a
+	A young husband with an inferiority complex insisted he was just a
 little pebble on the beach.  The marriage counselor told him, "If you wish to
 save your marriage, you'd better be a little boulder."
 %
@@ -1845,7 +1845,7 @@ hope in it.  Approaching him at the club bar one day, one of them said,
 found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both, and then turned
 the gun on himself!"
 	"Terrible," said Harry.  "But it could have been worse."
-	"How in hell," demanded his dumfounded friend, "could it possibly
+	"How in hell," demanded his dumbfounded friend, "could it possibly
 have been worse?"
 	"Well," said Harry, "if it had happened the night before, I'd be
 dead right now."
@@ -2036,7 +2036,7 @@ I think very probably he might be cured."
 things that are called the eyes, and which exist to make an agreeable soft
 depression in the face, are diseased, in the case of Bogota, in such a way
 as to affect his brain.  They are greatly distended, he has eyelashes, and
-his eyelids move, and cosequently his brain is in a state of constant
+his eyelids move, and consequently his brain is in a state of constant
 irritation and distraction."
 	"Yes?" said old Yacob.  "Yes?"
 	"And I think I may say with reasonable certainty that, in order
@@ -2057,7 +2057,7 @@ at present".
 myself the pleasure of contradicting him abruptly, and of showing him
 immediately some absurdity in his proposition.  In answering I began by
 observing that in certain cases or circumstances his opinion would be right,
-but in the present case there appeared or semed to me some difference, etc.
+but in the present case there appeared or seemed to me some difference, etc.
 	I soon found the advantage of this change in my manner; the
 conversations I engaged in went on more pleasantly.  The modest way in which I
 proposed my opinions procured them a readier reception and less contradiction.
@@ -2096,7 +2096,7 @@ closing the book.
 		-- Susan Brownmiller, "Against Our Will"
 %
 	[I plan] to see, hear, touch, and destroy everything in my path,
-including beets, rutabegas, and most random vegetables, but excluding yams,
+including beets, rutabagas, and most random vegetables, but excluding yams,
 as I am absolutely terrified of yams...
 	Actually, I think my fear of yams began in my early youth, when many
 of my young comrades pelted me with same for singing songs of far-off lands
@@ -2175,7 +2175,7 @@ I'm on my way."
 %
 	I'm sure that VMS is completely documented, I just haven't found the
 right manual yet.  I've been working my way through the manuals in the document
-library and I'm half way through the second cabnet, (3 shelves to go), so I
+library and I'm half way through the second cabinet, (3 shelves to go), so I
 should find what I'm looking for by mid May.  I hope I can remember what it
 was by the time I find it.
 	I had this idea for a new horror film, "VMS Manuals from Hell" or maybe
@@ -2225,7 +2225,7 @@ pie-bakers and pie-dividers is way out of whack."  Could Dick Butcher have
 been an efficiency expert?
 		-- Motor Trend, May 1983
 %
-	In the begining, God created the Earth and he said, "Let there be
+	In the beginning, God created the Earth and he said, "Let there be
 mud."
 	And there was mud.
 	And God said, "Let Us make living creatures out of mud, so the mud
@@ -2249,7 +2249,7 @@ evening and there was morning, one interrupt.
 		-- Rico Tudor, "The Story of Creation or, The Myth of Urk"
 %
 	In the beginning there was only one kind of Mathematician, created by
-the Great Mathamatical Spirit form the Book: the Topologist.  And they grew to
+the Great Mathematical Spirit form the Book: the Topologist.  And they grew to
 large numbers and prospered.
 	One day they looked up in the heavens and desired to reach up as far
 as the eye could see.  So they set out in building a Mathematical edifice that
@@ -2258,7 +2258,7 @@ until one night the edifice collapsed under the weight of paradox.
 	The following morning saw only rubble where there once was a huge
 structure reaching to the heavens.  One by one, the Mathematicians climbed
 out from under the rubble.  It was a miracle that nobody was killed; but when
-they began to speak to one another, SUPRISE of all suprises! they could not
+they began to speak to one another, SURPRISE of all surprises! they could not
 understand each other.  They all spoke different languages.  They all fought
 amongst themselves and each went about their own way.  To this day the
 Topologists remain the original Mathematicians.
@@ -2282,12 +2282,12 @@ sat hacking at the PDP-6.
 	At this Minsky shut his eyes, and Sussman asked his teacher "Why do
 you close your eyes?"
 	"So that the room will be empty."
-	At that momment, Sussman was enlightened.
+	At that moment, Sussman was enlightened.
 %
 	In the east there is a shark which is larger than all other fish.  It
 changes into a bird whose winds are like clouds filling the sky.  When this
 bird moves across the land, it brings a message from Corporate Headquarters.
-This message it drops into the midst of the program mers, like a seagull
+This message it drops into the midst of the programmers, like a seagull
 making its mark upon the beach.  Then the bird mounts on the wind and, with
 the blue sky at its back, returns home.
 	The novice programmer stares in wonder at the bird, for he understands
@@ -2661,13 +2661,13 @@ spits in the sergeants face.
 	"Murray!" Esther cries.  "Please!  Don't make trouble."
 		-- Arthur Naiman
 %
-	My friends, I am here to tell you of the wonderous continent known as
+	My friends, I am here to tell you of the wondrous continent known as
 Africa.  Well we left New York drunk and early on the morning of February 31.
 We were 15 days on the water, and 3 on the boat when we finally arrived in
 Africa.  Upon our arrival we immediately set up a rigorous schedule:  Up at
 6:00, breakfast, and back in bed by 7:00.  Pretty soon we were back in bed by
 6:30.  Now Africa is full of big game.  The first day I shot two bucks.  That
-was the biggest game we had.  Africa is primerally inhabited by Elks, Moose
+was the biggest game we had.  Africa is primarily inhabited by Elks, Moose
 and Knights of Pithiests.
 	The elks live up in the mountains and come down once a year for their
 annual conventions.  And you should see them gathered around the water hole,
@@ -2676,7 +2676,7 @@ weren't looking for a water hole.  They were looking for an alck hole.
 	One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas, how he got in my
 pajamas, I don't know.  Then we tried to remove the tusks.  That's a tough
 word to say, tusks.  As I said we tried to remove the tusks, but they were
-imbedded so firmly we couldn't get them out.  But in Alabama the Tusks are
+embedded so firmly we couldn't get them out.  But in Alabama the Tusks are
 looser, but that is totally irrelephant to what I was saying.
 	We took some pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed.
 So we're going back in a few years...
@@ -2714,7 +2714,7 @@ audience, either."
 	Never ask your lover if he'd dive in front of an oncoming train for
 you.  He doesn't know.  Never ask your lover if she'd dive in front of an
 oncoming band of Hell's Angels for you.  She doesn't know.  Never ask how many
-cigarettes your lover has smoked today.  Cancer is a personal committment.
+cigarettes your lover has smoked today.  Cancer is a personal commitment.
 	Never ask to see pictures of your lover's former lovers -- especially
 the ones who dived in front of trains.  If you look like one of them, you are
 repeating history's mistakes.  If you don't, you'll wonder what he or she saw
@@ -2867,7 +2867,7 @@ and it was very juicy.  I stood up and took aim, and went into the windup,
 when my mother at the kitchen window called my name in a sharp voice.  I had
 to decide quickly.  I decided.
 	A rotten Big Boy hitting the target is a memorable sound, like a fat
-man doing a belly-flop.  With a whoop and a yell the tomatoee came after
+man doing a belly-flop.  With a whoop and a yell the tomato came after
 faster than I knew she could run, and grabbed my shirt and was about to brain
 me when Mother called her name in a sharp voice.  And my sister, who was a
 good person, obeyed and let go -- and burst into tears.  I guess she knew that
@@ -3122,7 +3122,7 @@ body functions.
 	Penn's aunts made great apple pies at low prices.  No one else in
 town could compete with the pie rates of Penn's aunts.
 	During the American Revolution, a Britisher tried to raid a farm.  He
-stumbled across a rock on the ground and fell, whereupon an agressive Rhode
+stumbled across a rock on the ground and fell, whereupon an aggressive Rhode
 Island Red hopped on top.  Seeing this, the farmer commented, "Chicken catch
 a Tory!"
 	A wife started serving chopped meat, Monday hamburger, Tuesday meat
@@ -3472,7 +3472,7 @@ to the Berkeley UNIX version of `ls'?"
 %
 	Strange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas.  Five years later?
 Six?  It seems like a lifetime, or at least a Main Era -- the kind of peak that
-never comes again.  San Fransisco in the middle sixties was a very special time
+never comes again.  San Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time
 and place to be a part of.  Maybe it meant something.  Maybe not, in the long
 run...  There was madness in any direction, at any hour.  If not across the
 Bay, then up the Golden Gate or down 101 to Los Altos or La Honda...  You could
@@ -3649,7 +3649,7 @@ As he turned away, he heard the man say, "Ouch!".
 -- well, I'll be damned.  There goes another one!"
 %
 	The General disliked trying to explain the highly technical
-innerworkings of the U.S. Air Force.
+inner workings of the U.S. Air Force.
 	"$7,662 for a ten cup coffee maker, General?" the Senator asked.
 	In his head he ran through his standard explanations.  "It's not so,"
 he thought.  "It's a deterrent."  Soon he came up with, "It's computerized,
@@ -4075,7 +4075,7 @@ and escaped.
 off the tin cans by throwing them against the wall.  She was developing a good
 pitching arm and a new quantum theory.
 	The mathematician had stacked the unopened cans into a surprising
-solution to the kissing problem; his dessicated corpse was propped calmly
+solution to the kissing problem; his dessiccated corpse was propped calmly
 against a wall, and this was inscribed on the floor:
 	Theorem: If I can't open these cans, I'll die.
 	Proof: assume the opposite...
@@ -4342,7 +4342,7 @@ explain the failure of your three marriages."
 product."
 		-- Jules Feiffer
 %
-	Well, he thought, since neither Aristotilian Logic nor the disciplines
+	Well, he thought, since neither Aristotelian Logic nor the disciplines
 of Science seemed to offer much hope, it's time to go beyond them...
 	Drawing a few deep even breaths, he entered a mental state practiced
 only by Masters of the Universal Way of Zen.  In it his mind floated freely,
@@ -4670,7 +4670,7 @@ There, that ought to patch it.  Dist it out, wouldja?"
 	"The famous scientific criminal, as famous among crooks as --"
 	"My blushes, Watson," Holmes murmured, in a deprecating voice.  "I
 was about to say 'as he is unknown to the public.'"
-		-- A. Conan Doyle, "The Valley of Fear"
+		-- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, "The Valley of Fear"
 %
 	"You know, it's at times like this when I'm trapped in a Vogon
 airlock with a man from Betelgeuse and about to die of asphyxiation in
@@ -5109,7 +5109,7 @@ civilization began has seen six orders of magnitude in performance-price
 gain in 30 years.
 		-- Fred Brooks
 %
-... difference of opinion is advantagious in religion.  The several sects
+... difference of opinion is advantageous in religion.  The several sects
 perform the office of a common censor morum over each other.  Is uniformity
 attainable?  Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the
 introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned;
@@ -5250,7 +5250,7 @@ awareness of the great goals for Man and the society he conspired to erect.
 	canine with innovative maneuvers.
 -- Eschew the implement of correction and vitiate the scion.
 -- The temperature of the aqueous content of an unremittingly
-	galled saucepan does not reach 212 degrees Farenheit.
+	galled saucepan does not reach 212 degrees Fahrenheit.
 %
 ... So the documentary-makers stick with sharks.  Generally, their
 procedure is to scatter bleeding fish pieces around their boat, so as
@@ -5308,7 +5308,7 @@ discuss our recent efforts to apply wisdom engineering to oil exploration.
 	optimal cachinnation.
 -- Eleemosynary deeds have their initial incidence intramurally.
 %
-... there are about 5,000 people who are part of that commitee.  These guys
+... there are about 5,000 people who are part of that committee.  These guys
 have a hard time sorting out what day to meet, and whether to eat croissants
 or doughnuts for breakfast -- let alone how to define how all these complex
 layers that are going to be agreed upon.
@@ -6064,7 +6064,7 @@ with the possible exceptions of handguns and Tequilla.
 %
 A computer salesman visits a company president for the purpose of selling
 the president one of the latest talking computers.
-Salesman:	"This machine knows everything. I can ask it any quesstion
+Salesman:	"This machine knows everything. I can ask it any question
 		and it'll give the correct answer.  Computer, what is the
 		speed of light?"
 Computer:	186,000 miles per second.
@@ -6415,7 +6415,7 @@ Engineer: Well, I've invented a way to weave metallic threads into the saddle
 	  blanket so that they will act as the plates of a battery and provide
 	  electrical shock to the horse.
 G:	  That's very good!  But let's hear from the chemist.
-Chemist:  I've synthesized a powerful stimulant that disolves
+Chemist:  I've synthesized a powerful stimulant that dissolves
 	  into simple blood sugars after ten minutes and therefore
 	  cannot be detected in post-race tests.
 G:	  Excellent, excellent!  But I want to hear from the physicist before
@@ -6439,7 +6439,7 @@ when a girl gives a boy a dead squid, *that had to mean SOMETHING!*
 A girl and a boy bump into each other -- surely an accident.
 A girl and a boy bump and her handkerchief drops -- surely another accident.
 But when a girl gives a boy a dead squid -- *that had to mean something*.
-		-- S. Morganstern, "The Silent Gondoliers"
+		-- S. Morgenstern, "The Silent Gondoliers"
 %
 A girl with a future avoids the man with a past.
 		-- Evan Esar, "The Humor of Humor"
@@ -6525,7 +6525,7 @@ when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
 %
 A green hunting cap squeezed the top of the fleshy balloon of a head.  The
 green earflaps, full of large ears and uncut hair and the fine bristles that
-grew in the ears themselvse, stuck out on either side like turn signals
+grew in the ears themselves, stuck out on either side like turn signals
 indicating two directions at once.  Full, pursed lips protruded beneath the
 bushy black moustache and, at their corners, sank into little folds filled
 with disapproval and potato chip crumbs.  In the shadow under the green visor
@@ -7141,7 +7141,7 @@ but to protect the writer.
 %
 A method of solution is perfect if we can forsee from the start,
 and even prove, that following that method we shall attain our aim.
-		-- Leibnitz
+		-- Leibniz
 %
 A Mexican newspaper reports that bored Royal Air Force pilots stationed
 on the Falkland Islands have devised what they consider a marvelous new
@@ -7575,7 +7575,7 @@ might be made an Archbishop."
 	"Is there any way that you might go higher than that?"
 	"If all the Saints should smile, I guess I could be made a Cardinal."
 	"Could you be anything higher than a Cardinal?"
-	Hesitating a little bit, the priest said, "I supose that I could
+	Hesitating a little bit, the priest said, "I suppose that I could
 be elected Pope, but only if it's God's will."
 	"And could you be anything higher than that, is there any way to go
 up from being the Pope?"
@@ -7653,7 +7653,7 @@ banana, and on the other end a weight equal to the weight of the monkey.
 The banana weighs two ounces per inch.  The rope is as long (in feet) as
 the age of the monkey (in years), and the weight of the monkey (in ounces)
 is the same as the age of the monkey's mother.  The combined age of the
-monkey and its mother is thirdy years.  One half of the weight of the monkey,
+monkey and its mother is thirty years.  One half of the weight of the monkey,
 plus the weight of the banana, is one forth as much as the weight of the
 weight and the weight of the rope.  The monkey's mother is half as old as
 the monkey will be when it is three times as old as its mother was when she
@@ -7691,13 +7691,13 @@ I don't know what it's about.  I'm just the drummer.  Ask Peter.
 A Scholar asked his Master, "Master, would you advise me of a proper
 vocation?"
 	The Master replied, "Some men can earn their keep with the power of
-their minds.  Others must use thier strong backs, legs and hands.  This is
+their minds.  Others must use their strong backs, legs and hands.  This is
 the same in nature as it is with man.  Some animals acquire their food easily,
 such as rabbits, hogs and goats.  Other animals must fiercely struggle for
 their sustenance, like beavers, moles and ants.  So you see, the nature of
 the vocation must fit the individual.
 	"But I have no abilities, desires, or imagination, Master," the
-scholer sobbed.
+scholar sobbed.
 	Queried the Master... "Have you thought of becoming a salesperson?"
 %
 A scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and
@@ -7711,7 +7711,7 @@ the vexation of thinking.
 %
 A sense of desolation and uncertainty, of futility, of the baselessness
 of aspirations, of the vanity of endeavor, and a thirst for a life giving
-water which seems suddenly to have failed, are the signs in conciousness
+water which seems suddenly to have failed, are the signs in consciousness
 of this necessary reorganization of our lives.
 
 It is difficult to believe that this state of mind can be produced by the
@@ -7906,7 +7906,7 @@ A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)
 	lady who knits.
 
 Crime and Punishment LITE(tm)
-	-- by Fyodor Dostoevski
+	-- by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
 
 	A man sends a nasty letter to a pawnbroker, but later
 	feels guilty and apologizes.
@@ -7946,7 +7946,7 @@ sitting in the yard watching the pig.
 	"Sure is, son," the farmer replied.  "Why, two years ago, my daughter
 was swimming in the lake and bumped her head and damned near drowned, but that
 pig swam out and dragged her back to shore."
-	"Amazing!"  the salesman exlaimed.
+	"Amazing!"  the salesman exclaimed.
 	"And that's not the only thing.  Last fall I was cuttin' wood up on
 the north forty when a tree fell on me.  Pinned me to the ground, it did.  
 That pig run up and wiggled underneath that tree and lifted it off of me.
@@ -7974,7 +7974,7 @@ when the faculty loses interest in students.
 %
 A vacuum is a hell of a lot better
 than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with.
-		-- Tenessee Williams
+		-- Tennessee Williams
 %
 A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
 		-- Samuel Goldwyn
@@ -8025,7 +8025,7 @@ A wise person makes his own decisions, a weak one obeys public opinion.
 A witty saying proves nothing.
 		-- Voltaire
 %
-"A wizard cannot do everything; a fact most magicians are recticent to admit,
+"A wizard cannot do everything; a fact most magicians are reticent to admit,
 let alone discuss with prospective clients.  Still, the fact remains that 
 there are certain objects, and people, that are, for one reason or another, 
 completely immune to any direct magical spell.  It is for this group of
@@ -8250,7 +8250,7 @@ About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
 %
 About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt
 ax.  It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
-		-- Edsger Dijkstra
+		-- Edsger W. Dijkstra
 %
 Above all else - sky.
 %
@@ -8465,7 +8465,7 @@ Actually, my goal is to have a sandwich named after me.
 Actually, the probability is 100% that the elevator
 will be going in the right direction.  Proof by induction:
 
-N=1.	Trivialy true, since both you and the elevator
+N=1.	Trivially true, since both you and the elevator
 	only have one floor to go to.
 
 Assume true for N, prove for N+1:
@@ -8844,7 +8844,7 @@ Al didn't smile for forty years.  You've got to admire a man like that.
 Alan Turing thought about criteria to settle the question of whether
 machines can think, a question of which we now know that it is about
 as relevant as the question of whether submarines can swim.
-		-- Dijkstra
+		-- Edsger W. Dijkstra
 %
 Alas, how love can trifle with itself!
 		-- William Shakespeare, "The Two Gentlemen of Verona"
@@ -9349,7 +9349,7 @@ Liberties Union gets indignant, and I hope this will always be so.
 		 -- Senator Adlai E. Stevenson
 
 The ACLU has stood foursquare against the recurring tides of hysteria that
-from time to time threaten freedoms everyhere... Indeed, it is difficult
+from time to time threaten freedoms everywhere... Indeed, it is difficult
 to appreciate how far our freedoms might have eroded had it not been for the
 Union's valiant representation in the courts of the constitutional rights
 of people of all persuasions, no matter how unpopular or even despised
@@ -9661,7 +9661,7 @@ An idealist is one who helps the other fellow to make a profit.
 %
 An idle mind is worth two in the bush.
 %
-An infallible method of concilliating a tiger
+An infallible method of conciliating a tiger
 is to allow oneself to be devoured.
 		-- Konrad Adenauer
 %
@@ -10829,7 +10829,7 @@ Answer each of the following items "true" or "false"
  2. I use shoe polish to excess.
  3. God is love.
  4. I like mannish children.
- 5. I have always been diturbed by the sight of Lincoln's ears.
+ 5. I have always been disturbed by the sight of Lincoln's ears.
  6. I always let people get ahead of me at swimming pools.
  7. Most of the time I go to sleep without saying goodbye.
  8. I am not afraid of picking up door knobs.
@@ -11086,7 +11086,7 @@ field on track.
 At the hospital, a doctor is training an intern on how to announce bad news
 to the patients.  The doctor tells the intern "This man in 305 is going to
 die in six months.  Go in and tell him."  The intern boldly walks into the
-room, over to the man's bedisde and tells him "Seems like you're gonna die!"
+room, over to the man's bedside and tells him "Seems like you're gonna die!"
 The man has a heart attack and is rushed into surgery on the spot.  The doctor
 grabs the intern and screams at him, "What!?!? are you some kind of moron?
 You've got to take it easy, work your way up to the subject.  Now this man in
@@ -11131,7 +11131,7 @@ AUCTION:
 Audacity, and again, audacity, and always audacity.
 		-- G.J. Danton
 %
-audophile, n:
+audiophile, n:
 	Someone who listens to the equipment instead of the music.
 %
 Auribus teneo lupum.
@@ -11547,7 +11547,7 @@ belief, n:
 %
 Believe everything you hear about the world; nothing is too
 impossibly bad.
-		-- Honore DeBalzac
+		-- Honore de Balzac
 %
 Bell Labs Unix - Reach out and grep someone.
 %
@@ -11738,7 +11738,7 @@ Beware of the man who knows the answer before he understands the question.
 himself no wiser than before," Bokonon tells us.  "He is full of murderous
 resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their
 ignorance the hard way."
-		-- Vonnegut
+		-- Kurt Vonnegut
 %
 Beware of the Turing Tar-pit in which everything
 is possible but nothing of interest is easy.
@@ -13117,7 +13117,7 @@ COBOL:
 	Completely Over and Beyond reason Or Logic.
 %
 COBOL is for morons.
-		-- E.W. Dijkstra
+		-- Edsger W. Dijkstra
 %
 Cobol programmers are down in the dumps.
 %
@@ -13311,8 +13311,8 @@ Coming together is a beginning;
 Commit the oldest sins the newest kind of ways.
 		-- William Shakespeare, "Henry IV"
 %
-COMMITTMENT:
-	Committment can be illustrated by a breakfast of ham and eggs.
+COMMITMENT:
+	Commitment can be illustrated by a breakfast of ham and eggs.
 	The chicken was involved, the pig was committed.
 %
 Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.
@@ -15350,7 +15350,7 @@ Duty, n:
 %
 Dying is a very dull, dreary affair.  My advice to you is to have
 nothing whatever to do with it.
-		-- W. Somerset Maughm, his last words
+		-- W. Somerset Maugham, his last words
 %
 Dying is easy.  Comedy is difficult.
 		-- Actor Edmond Gween, on his deathbed.
@@ -15374,7 +15374,7 @@ imagery and Appledom.  Even words look like decorative filigrees in exotic
 typefaces.  The greatest icon of all, the inviolable Apple itself, stands in
 the dominate position at the upper-left corner of the screen.  A central
 corporate headquarters decrees the form of all rites and practices.
-Infalliable doctrine issues from one executive officer whose selection occurs
+Infallible doctrine issues from one executive officer whose selection occurs
 in a sealed boardroom.  Should anyone in his curia question his powers, the
 offender is excommunicated into outer darkness.  The expelled heretic founds
 a new company, mutters obscurely of the coming age and the next computer,
@@ -15717,7 +15717,7 @@ Enjoy your life; be pleasant and gay, like the birds in May.
 %
 Enjoy yourself while you're still old.
 %
-Entreprenuer, n:
+Entrepreneur, n:
 	A high-rolling risk taker who would rather
 	be a spectacular failure than a dismal success.
 %
@@ -15774,7 +15774,7 @@ Etymology, n:
 	hard to swallow."
 		-- Mike Kellen
 %
-Euch ist becannt, was wir beduerfen;
+Euch ist bekannt, was wir beduerfen;
 Wir wollen stark Getraenke schluerfen.
 		-- Goethe, "Faust"
 %
@@ -16135,7 +16135,7 @@ Everybody is given the same amount of hormones, at birth, and
 if you want to use yours for growing hair, that's fine with me.
 %
 Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
-		-- Dykstra
+		-- Edsger W. Dijkstra
 %
 Everybody knows that the dice are loaded.  Everybody rolls with their
 fingers crossed.  Everybody knows the war is over.  Everybody knows the
@@ -16399,13 +16399,13 @@ Extraordinary claims demand extraordinary proof.  There are many examples
 of outsiders who eventually overthrew entrenched scientific orthodoxies,
 but they prevailed with irrefutable data.  More often, egregious findings
 that contradict well-established research turn out to be artifacts.  I have
-argued that accepting psychic powers, reincarnation, "cosmic conciousness,"
+argued that accepting psychic powers, reincarnation, "cosmic consciousness,"
 and the like, would entail fundamental revisions of the foundations of
 neuroscience.  Before abandoning materialist theories of mind that have paid
 handsome dividends, we should insist on better evidence for psi phenomena
 than presently exists, especially when neurology and psychology themselves
 offer more plausible alternatives.
-		-- Barry L. Beyerstein, "The Brain and Conciousness:
+		-- Barry L. Beyerstein, "The Brain and Consciousness:
 		   Implications for Psi Phenomena".
 %
 Extreme fear can neither fight nor fly.
@@ -16603,7 +16603,7 @@ Fear is the greatest salesman.
 		-- Robert Klein
 %
 feature, n:
-	A surprising property of a program.  Occasionaly documented.  To
+	A surprising property of a program.  Occasionally documented.  To
 	call a property a feature sometimes means the author did not
 	consider that case, and the program makes an unexpected, though
 	not necessarily wrong response.  See BUG.  "That's not a bug, it's
@@ -16620,16 +16620,16 @@ Feeling amorous, she looked under the sheets and cried, "Oh, no,
 it's Microsoft!"
 %
 Felix Catus is your taxonomic nomenclature,
-An endothermic quadroped, carniverous by nature.
+An endothermic quadruped, carnivorous by nature.
 Your visual, olfactory, and auditory senses
 Contribute to your hunting skills and natural defenses.
 I find myself intrigued by your sub-vocal oscillations,
 A singular development of cat communications
-That obviates your basic hedonistic predelection
+That obviates your basic hedonistic predilection
 For a rhythmic stroking of your fur to demonstrate affection.
 A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents:
 You would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance;
-And when not being utilitized to aid in locomotion,
+And when not being utilised to aid in locomotion,
 It often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion.
 Oh Spot, the complex levels of behavior you display
 Connote a fairly well-developed cognitive array.
@@ -16905,7 +16905,7 @@ flowchart, n. & v.
 	[From flow "to ripple down in rich profusion, as hair" + chart
 	"a cryptic hidden-treasure map designed to mislead the uninitiated."]
 	1. n. The solution, if any, to a class of Mascheroni
-	construction problems in which given algoritms require geometrical
+	construction problems in which given algorithms require geometrical
 	representation using only the 35 basic ideograms of the ANSI
 	template.  2. n. Neronic doodling while the system burns.
 	3. n. A low-cost substitute for wallpaper.  4. n.  The innumerate
@@ -17228,7 +17228,7 @@ FORTRAN, "the infantile disorder", by now nearly 20 years old, is
 hopelessly inadequate for whatever computer application you have
 in mind today: it is now too clumsy, too risky, and too expensive
 to use.
-		-- E.W. Dijkstra
+		-- Edsger W. Dijkstra
 %
 [FORTRAN] will persist for some time --
 probably for at least the next decade.
@@ -18111,7 +18111,7 @@ Come I to make this gig at Caeser's laying down.
 %
 Friendships last when each friend thinks he has a slight superiority
 over the other.
-		-- Honore DeBalzac
+		-- Honore de Balzac
 %
 Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die,
 your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
@@ -19912,7 +19912,7 @@ He who despises himself nevertheless esteems himself as a self-despiser.
 		-- Friedrich Nietzsche
 %
 He who enters his wife's dressing room is a philosopher or a fool.
-		-- Balzac
+		-- Honore de Balzac
 %
 He who fears the unknown may one day flee from his own backside.
 		-- Sinbad
@@ -22020,7 +22020,7 @@ I have a theory that it's impossible to prove anything,
 but I can't prove it.
 %
 I have a very small mind and must live with it.
-		-- E. Dijkstra
+		-- Edsger W. Dijkstra
 %
 I have a very strange feeling about this...
 		-- Luke Skywalker
@@ -22193,7 +22193,7 @@ declare the construction of such machinery impracticable...
 	And at a period when the progress of physical science is obstructed
 by that exhausting intellectual and manual labor, indispensable for its
 advancement, which it is the object of the Analytical Engine to relieve, I
-think the application of machinery in aid of the most complicated and abtruse
+think the application of machinery in aid of the most complicated and abstruse
 calculations can no longer be deemed unworthy of the attention of the country.
 In fact, there is no reason why mental as well as bodily labor should not
 be economized by the aid of machinery.
@@ -22303,8 +22303,8 @@ take one along that worked.
 		-- Raymond Chandler
 %
 I know if you been talkin' you done said
-just how suprised you wuz by the living dead.
-You wuz suprised that they could understand you words
+just how surprised you wuz by the living dead.
+You wuz surprised that they could understand you words
 and never respond once to all the truth they heard.
 But don't you get square!
 There ain't no rule that says they got to care.
@@ -24990,12 +24990,12 @@ If you don't strike oil in twenty minutes, stop boring.
 If you drink, don't park.  Accidents make people.
 %
 If you ever want to have a lot of fun, I recommend that you go off and program
-an imbedded system.  The salient characteristic of an imbedded system is that
+an embedded system.  The salient characteristic of an embedded system is that
 it cannot be allowed to get into a state from which only direct intervention
-will suffice to remove it.  An imbedded system can't permanently trust anything
+will suffice to remove it.  An embedded system can't permanently trust anything
 it hears from the outside world.  It must sniff around, adapt, consider, sniff
 around, and adapt again.  I'm not talking about ordinary modular programming
-carefulness here.  No.  Programming an imbedded system calls for undiluted
+carefulness here.  No.  Programming an embedded system calls for undiluted
 raging maniacal paranoia.  For example, our ethernet front ends need to know
 what network number they are on so that they can address and route PUPs
 properly.  How do you find out what your network number is?  Easy, you ask a
@@ -30717,8 +30717,8 @@ Mark's Dental-Chair Discovery:
 %
 MARRIAGE:
 	An old, established institution, entered into by two people deeply
-	in love and desiring to make a committment to each other expressing
-	that love.  In short, committment to an institution.
+	in love and desiring to make a commitment to each other expressing
+	that love.  In short, commitment to an institution.
 %
 MARRIAGE:
 	Convertible bonds.
@@ -31764,7 +31764,7 @@ MSDOS is not dead, it just smells that way.
 %
 Much of the excitement we get out of our work
 is that we don't really know what we are doing.
-		-- E. Dijkstra
+		-- Edsger W. Dijkstra
 %
 Much to his Mum and Dad's dismay, Horace ate himself one day.
 He didn't stop to say his grace, he just sat down and ate his face.
@@ -35898,7 +35898,7 @@ P-K4
 %
 PL/1, "the fatal disease", belongs more
 to the problem set than to the solution set.
-		-- E.W. Dijkstra
+		-- Edsger W. Dijkstra
 %
 Plagiarize, plagiarize,
 Let no man's work evade your eyes,
@@ -38881,7 +38881,7 @@ the second one should have seen it.
 Seeing a commotion in Harvard Square, a man strolled over and asked what
 was going on.  One of the onlookers explained to him that there was a Mooney
 who had immersed himself in gasoline and was threatening to set fire to
-himself to demonstrate his committment to the Rev. Moon.  The man gasped and
+himself to demonstrate his commitment to the Rev. Moon.  The man gasped and
 asked what was being done to defuse the obviously dangerous situation.
 	"Well", replied the onlooker, "we're taking up a collection -- so
 far I've got two Bics, four Zippos and eighteen books of matches."
@@ -41174,7 +41174,7 @@ Test for paraquat:
 	the solution will turn blue-green.
 %
 Testing can show the presence of bugs, but not their absence.
-		-- Dijkstra
+		-- Edsger W. Dijkstra
 %
 Test-tube babies shouldn't throw stones.
 %
@@ -42217,7 +42217,7 @@ it to his master.
 %
 The duration of passion is proportionate with the original resistance
 of the woman.
-		-- Honore DeBalzac
+		-- Honore de Balzac
 %
 The eagle may soar, but the weasel never gets sucked into a jet engine.
 %
@@ -42420,7 +42420,7 @@ either a Q-KR5 check or the loss of his queen.
 		-- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
 %
 The father, passing through his son's college town late one evening on a
-business trip, thought he would pay his boy a suprise visit.  Arriving at the
+business trip, thought he would pay his boy a surprise visit.  Arriving at the
 lad's fraternity house, dad rapped loudly on the door.  After several minutes
 of knocking, a sleepy voice drifted down from a second-floor window,
 	"Whaddaya want?"
@@ -42623,7 +42623,7 @@ if the character does not have fire resistance.
 		-- README file from the NetHack game
 %
 [The French Riviera is] a sunny place for shady people.
-		-- Somerset Maugham
+		-- W. Somerset Maugham
 %
 The full impact of parenthood doesn't hit you until you multiply the
 number of your kids by thirty-two teeth.
@@ -43749,7 +43749,7 @@ The major sin is the sin of being born.
 %
 The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutang trying to play
 the violin.
-		-- Honore DeBalzac
+		-- Honore de Balzac
 %
 The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time.
 The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of
@@ -44763,7 +44763,7 @@ for incompetence.
 The problems of business administration in general, and database management in
 particular are much to difficult for people that think in IBMese, compounded
 with sloppy english.
-		-- Edsger Dijkstra
+		-- Edsger W. Dijkstra
 %
 The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid,
 stable business.
@@ -44902,7 +44902,7 @@ depends on the unreasonable man.
 		-- George Bernard Shaw
 %
 The reasons that each of these countries has had to renege on its
-financial committments were all somewhat different: Argentina because of
+financial commitments were all somewhat different: Argentina because of
 a war, Poland because of its vast misguided overinvestment in heavy
 industry, Honduras because the coffeee price went sour, Zaire because
 nobody in the government there has a clue as to how to run a country.
@@ -45703,7 +45703,7 @@ world put together.
 %
 The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems
 is a symptom of professional immaturity.
-		-- Edsger Dijkstra
+		-- Edsger W. Dijkstra
 %
 The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be
 regarded as a criminal offence.
@@ -45711,7 +45711,7 @@ regarded as a criminal offence.
 %
 The use of COBOL cripples the mind;
 its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
-		-- E.W. Dijkstra
+		-- Edsger W. Dijkstra
 %
 The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.
 		-- B. Franklin
@@ -50031,7 +50031,7 @@ We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.
 %
 We can found no scientific discipline, nor a healthy profession on the
 technical mistakes of the Department of Defense and IBM.
-		-- Edsger Dijkstra
+		-- Edsger W. Dijkstra
 %
 We cannot command nature except by obeying her.
 		-- Sir Francis Bacon
@@ -52266,7 +52266,7 @@ is to believe the one in which people appear at their worst.
 		-- H. Allen Smith, "Let the Crabgrass Grow"
 %
 When there is an old maid in the house, a watch dog is unnecessary.
-		-- Balzac
+		-- Honore de Balzac
 %
 When things go well, expect something to
 explode, erode, collapse or just disappear.
@@ -52322,7 +52322,7 @@ When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands.
 When women love us, they forgive us everything, even our crimes;
 when they do not love us, they give us credit for nothing, not
 even our virtues.
-		-- Balzac
+		-- Honore de Balzac
 %
 When you are about to die, a wombat is better than no company at all.
 		-- Roger Zelazny, "Doorways in the Sand"
@@ -53460,15 +53460,15 @@ than being slapped is when you get on your knees and say you're sorry.
 %
 Women waste men's lives and think they have
 indemnified them by a few gracious words.
-		-- Balzac
+		-- Honore de Balzac
 %
 Women, when they are not in love, have all
 the cold blood of an experienced attorney.
-		-- Balzac
+		-- Honore de Balzac
 %
 Women, when they have made a sheep of a man,
 always tell him that he is a lion with a will of iron.
-		-- Balzac
+		-- Honore de Balzac
 %
 Women who desire to be like men, lack ambition.
 %
@@ -53708,7 +53708,7 @@ Would you *really* want to get on a non-stop flight?
 %
 "Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"
 "That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.
-		-- Lewis Carrol
+		-- Lewis Carroll
 %
 Wouldn't this be a great world if being insecure and desperate were
 a turn-on?
diff --git a/fortune/datfiles/limerick b/fortune/datfiles/limerick
index 3a55bd92..7f8919cc 100644
--- a/fortune/datfiles/limerick
+++ b/fortune/datfiles/limerick
@@ -42,7 +42,7 @@ Found programming UNIX a hurdle
 	Ran as slow as did he,
 And that's not saying much for the turtle.
 %
-There was a young lady of Riga
+There was a young lady from Niger
 Who smiled as she rode on a tiger;
 	They returned from the ride
 	With the lady inside,