Some more quotes removed. Corrected errors noticed by Andrew Brown

<atatat@atatdot.net>.

1 files changed, 108 insertions, 110 deletions

diff --git a/fortune/datfiles/fortunes b/fortune/datfiles/fortunes
index 1dbfac87..2fa3d8b8 100644
--- a/fortune/datfiles/fortunes
+++ b/fortune/datfiles/fortunes
@@ -60,8 +60,8 @@ office did he later hold?
 %
 $3,000,000
 %
-"355/113 -- Not the famous irrational number PI, but an incredible
-simulation!"
+355/113 -- Not the famous irrational number PI, but an incredible
+simulation!
 %
 3 syncs represent the trinity -- init, the child and the eternal zombie
 process.  In doing 3, you're paying homage to each and I think such
@@ -343,9 +343,9 @@ O is for Olive, run through with an awl, P is for Prue, trampled flat in a brawl
 Q is for Quinton who sank in a mire, R is for Rhoda, consumed by a fire.
 S is for Susan who parished of fits, T is for Titas who flew into bits.
 U is for Una  who slipped down a drain, V is for Victor, squashed under a train.
-W is for Winnie, embedded in ice, X is for Xercies, devoured by mice.
+W is for Winnie, embedded in ice, X is for Xerxes, devoured by mice.
 Y is for Yoric whose head was bashed in, Z is for Zilla who drank too much gin.
-		-- Edward Gorey "The Gastly Crumb Tines"
+		-- Edward Gorey "The Gashlycrumb Tinies"
 %
 A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
 %
@@ -545,7 +545,7 @@ A pedestal is as much a prison as any small, confined space.
 %
 A penny saved is ridiculous.
 %
-A person is just about as big as the things that make him angry.
+A person is just about as big as the things that make them angry.
 %
 A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
 		-- George Wald
@@ -580,7 +580,7 @@ ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.
 	Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud
 hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.
 %
-"A power so great, it can only be used for Good or Evil!"
+A power so great, it can only be used for Good or Evil!
 		-- Firesign Theatre, "The Giant Rat of Sumatra"
 %
 A priest asked: What is Fate, Master?
@@ -612,7 +612,7 @@ he sure doesn't know the first thing about shark fishing."
 %
 A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
 %
-"A programmer is a person who passes as an exacting expert on the basis
+A programmer is a person who passes as an exacting expert on the basis
 of being able to turn out, after innumerable punching, an infinite
 series of incomprehensive answers calculated with micrometric
 precisions from vague assumptions based on debatable figures taken from
@@ -620,7 +620,7 @@ inconclusive documents and carried out on instruments of problematical
 accuracy by persons of dubious reliability and questionable mentality
 for the avowed purpose of annoying and confounding a hopelessly
 defenseless department that was unfortunate enough to ask for the
-information in the first place."
+information in the first place.
 		-- IEEE Grid news magazine
 %
 A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that
@@ -637,11 +637,11 @@ the ball is more than three inches from the hole, because no one wants
 to make a travesty of the game.
 		-- Donald A. Metz
 %
-"A raccoon tangled with a 23,000 volt line today.  The results blacked
-out 1400 homes and, of course, one raccoon."
+A raccoon tangled with a 23,000 volt line today.  The results blacked
+out 1400 homes and, of course, one raccoon.
 		-- Steel City News
 %
-"A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives."
+A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
 %
 A reading from the Book of Armaments, Chapter 4, Verses 16 to 20:
 
@@ -751,7 +751,7 @@ A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest
 in students.
 		-- John Ciardi
 %
-"A University without students is like an ointment without a fly."
+A University without students is like an ointment without a fly.
 		-- Ed Nather, professor of astronomy at UT Austin
 %
 A UNIX saleslady, Lenore,
@@ -914,8 +914,8 @@ Admiration, n.:
 Adolescence, n.:
 	The stage between puberty and adultery.
 %
-"Adopted kids are such a pain -- you have to teach them how to look
-like you ..."
+Adopted kids are such a pain -- you have to teach them how to look
+like you ...
 		-- Gilda Radner
 %
 Adore, v.:
@@ -954,8 +954,8 @@ more advanced than the lichen family.
 %
 After a number of decimal places, nobody gives a damn.
 %
-"... After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known
-quotations."
+... After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known
+quotations.
 		-- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare
 %
 After all, what is your hosts' purpose in having a party?  Surely not
@@ -979,9 +979,9 @@ make his own."
 	It was so granted.
 		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
 %
-"After I asked him what he meant, he replied that freedom consisted of
+After I asked him what he meant, he replied that freedom consisted of
 the unimpeded right to get rich, to use his ability, no matter what the
-cost to others, to win advancement."
+cost to others, to win advancement.
 		-- Norman Thomas
 %
 After I run your program, let's make love like crazed weasels, OK?
@@ -1020,11 +1020,11 @@ most end with the dreamer
 
 But at least one must be lived ... and died.
 %
-"Ah, you know the type.  They like to blame it all on the Jews or the
+Ah, you know the type.  They like to blame it all on the Jews or the
 Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact
 that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately
 unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep
-up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers."
+up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
 		-- A analysis of Neo-Nazis, from "The Badger" comic
 %
 Air is water with holes in it.
@@ -1092,11 +1092,10 @@ All men are mortal.  Socrates was mortal.  Therefore, all men are
 Socrates.
 		-- Woody Allen
 %
-"All my friends and I are crazy.  That's the only thing that keeps us
-sane."
+All my friends and I are crazy.  That's the only thing that keeps us sane.
 %
-"All my life I wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more
-specific."
+All my life I wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more
+specific.
 		-- Jane Wagner
 %
 All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.
@@ -1117,8 +1116,8 @@ every organism to live beyond its income.
 All science is either physics or stamp collecting.
 		-- E. Rutherford
 %
-"All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please raise their right
-hands."
+All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please raise their right
+hands.
 		-- Saint Patrick
 %
 All syllogisms have three parts; therefore this is not a syllogism.
@@ -1132,7 +1131,7 @@ decision: "Where else are you going to read the paper?  Outside?  What
 if it rains?"
 		-- Dave Barry, "Sweating Out Taxes"
 %
-"... all the modern inconveniences ..."
+... all the modern inconveniences ...
 		-- Mark Twain
 %
 All the passions make us commit faults; love makes us commit the most
@@ -1220,8 +1219,8 @@ back.
 %
 Always remember that you are unique.  Just like everyone else.
 %
-"Always try to do things in chronological order; it's less confusing
-that way."
+Always try to do things in chronological order; it's less confusing
+that way.
 %
 Am I ranting?  I hope so.  My ranting gets raves.
 %
@@ -1258,7 +1257,7 @@ between the men's room and the women's room without having little
 pictures on the doors.
 		-- Dave Barry, "Urine Trouble, Mister"
 %
-"Amnesia used to be my favorite word, but then I forgot it."
+Amnesia used to be my favorite word, but then I forgot it.
 %
 An age is called Dark not because the light fails to shine, but because
 people refuse to see it.
@@ -1323,7 +1322,7 @@ Rich Protestant Golfer Magazine.  The advertisements are written in
 incomplete sentences, which is how advertising copywriters denote
 excellence:
 
-"The Rolex Hyperion.  An elegant new standard in quality excellence and
+The Rolex Hyperion.  An elegant new standard in quality excellence and
 discriminating handcraftsmanship.  For the individual who is truly able
 to discriminate with regard to excellent quality standards of crafting
 things by hand.  Fabricated of 100 percent 24-karat gold.  No watch
@@ -1333,13 +1332,13 @@ doesn't need to be reminded all the time that he is very successful.
 Much more successful than the people who laughed at him in high
 school.  Because of his acne.  People who are probably nowhere near as
 successful as he is now.  Maybe he'll go to his 20th reunion, and
-they'll see his Rolex Hyperion.  Hahahahahahahahaha."
+they'll see his Rolex Hyperion.  Hahahahahahahahaha.
 		-- Dave Barry, "In Search of Excellence"
 %
 An exotic journey in downtown Newark is in your future.
 %
-"... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often
-picturesque liar."
+... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often
+picturesque liar.
 		-- Mark Twain
 %
 An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God.  Some of these
@@ -1359,7 +1358,7 @@ hour seems like a minute."
 moment and says, "And from this he makes a living?"
 		-- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"
 %
-"An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of purge."
+An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of purge.
 %
 Anarchy may not be the best form of government, but it's better than no
 government at all.
@@ -1389,8 +1388,8 @@ To justify God's ways to man
 %
 And on the seventh day, He exited from append mode.
 %
-"... And remember: if you don't like the news, go out and make some of
-your own."
+... And remember: if you don't like the news, go out and make some of
+your own.
         	-- "Scoop" Nisker, KFOG radio reporter
 		   Preposterous Words
 %
@@ -1406,8 +1405,8 @@ youthful beauty is a career necessity, such as Elizabeth Taylor and
 Orson Welles.
 		-- Dave Barry, "Saving Face"
 %
-"...and the fully armed nuclear warheads, are, of course, merely a
-courtesy detail."
+...and the fully armed nuclear warheads, are, of course, merely a
+courtesy detail.
 %
 And this is a table ma'am.  What in essence it consists of is a
 horizontal rectilinear plane surface maintained by four vertical
@@ -1591,7 +1590,7 @@ Anything that is good and useful is made of chocolate.
 %
 Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.
 %
-"Apathy is not the problem, it's the solution"
+Apathy is not the problem, it's the solution.
 %
 Aphorism, n.:
 	A concise, clever statement.
@@ -1627,7 +1626,7 @@ ARCHDUKE FERDINAND FOUND ALIVE --
 %
 Are you a turtle?
 %
-"Arguments with furniture are rarely productive."
+Arguments with furniture are rarely productive.
 		-- Kehlog Albran, "The Profit"
 %
 ARIES (Mar 21 - Apr 19)
@@ -1723,8 +1722,8 @@ popular.
 %
 As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code.
 %
-"As part of the conversion, computer specialists rewrote 1,500
-programs; a process that traditionally requires some debugging."
+As part of the conversion, computer specialists rewrote 1,500
+programs; a process that traditionally requires some debugging.
 		-- USA Today, referring to the IRS switchover to a new
 		   computer system.
 %
@@ -1795,9 +1794,9 @@ bathtub, it tolls for thee.
 Ask your boss to reconsider -- it's so difficult to take "Go to hell"
 for an answer.
 %
-"Asked by reporters about his upcoming marriage to a forty-two-year-old
+Asked by reporters about his upcoming marriage to a forty-two-year-old
 woman, director Roman Polanski told reporters, `The way I look at it,
-she's the equivalent of three fourteen-year-olds.'"
+she's the equivalent of three fourteen-year-olds.'
 		-- David Letterman
 %
 Ass, n.:
@@ -1810,9 +1809,9 @@ Hang around with rich people and you will end by picking up the check
 and dying broke.
 		-- Stanley Walker
 %
-"At a recent meeting in Snowmass, Colorado, a participant from Los
+At a recent meeting in Snowmass, Colorado, a participant from Los
 Angeles fainted from hyperoxygenation, and we had to hold his head
-under the exhaust of a bus until he revived."
+under the exhaust of a bus until he revived.
 %
 At any given moment, an arrow must be either where it is or where it is
 not.  But obviously it cannot be where it is not.  And if it is where
@@ -1826,7 +1825,7 @@ challenge roughly comparable to herding cats.
 ... at least I thought I was dancing, 'til somebody stepped on my hand.
 		-- J. B. White
 %
-"At least they're ___________EXPERIENCED incompetents"
+At least they're ___________EXPERIENCED incompetents
 %
 At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his
 thumb with a hammer.
@@ -1914,7 +1913,7 @@ taxes.
 Basic is a high level languish.
 APL is a high level anguish.
 %
-"BASIC is the Computer Science equivalent of `Scientific Creationism'."
+BASIC is the Computer Science equivalent of `Scientific Creationism'.
 %
 BASIC, n.:
 	A programming language.  Related to certain social diseases in
@@ -1994,7 +1993,7 @@ Bennett's Laws of Horticulture:
 	(2) Gardens are for plants to live in.
 	(3) There is no such thing as a houseplant.
 %
-"Benson, you are so free of the ravages of intelligence"
+Benson, you are so free of the ravages of intelligence.
 		-- Time Bandits
 %
 Besides the device, the box should contain:
@@ -2068,10 +2067,10 @@ Beware of Programmers who carry screwdrivers.
 Beware of self-styled experts: an ex is a has-been, and a spurt is a
 drip under pressure.
 %
-"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and
+Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and
 finds himself no wiser than before," Bokonon tells us.  "He is full of
 murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by
-their ignorance the hard way."
+their ignorance the hard way.
 		-- Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle"
 %
 Beware of the Turing Tar-pit in which everything is possible but
@@ -2269,8 +2268,8 @@ BULLWINKLE: "What else?  An executive."
 %
 Bumper sticker:
 
-"All the parts falling off this car are of the very finest British
-manufacture"
+All the parts falling off this car are of the very finest British
+manufacture.
 %
 Bureaucrat, n.:
 	A person who cuts red tape sideways.
@@ -2301,10 +2300,9 @@ sorcery for which so many suffered death.  If there were no witches,
 human testimony and human reason are alike destitute of value.
 		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
 %
-"But don't you worry, its for a cause -- feeding global corporations
-paws."
+But don't you worry, its for a cause -- feeding global corporations paws.
 %
-"But I don't like Spam!!!!"
+But I don't like Spam!!!!
 %
 	But if we laugh with derision, we will never understand.  Human
 intellectual capacity has not altered for thousands of years so far as
@@ -2323,8 +2321,8 @@ analyzed, and replaced with new weaknesses.
 		-- Bruce Leverett, "Register Allocation in Optimizing
 		   Compilers"
 %
-"But officer, I was only trying to gain enough speed so I could coast
-to the nearest gas station."
+But officer, I was only trying to gain enough speed so I could coast
+to the nearest gas station.
 %
 But scientists, who ought to know
 Assure us that it must be so.
@@ -2368,8 +2366,8 @@ explained yet about the bytes?
 ... But we've only fondled the surface of that subject.
 		-- Virginia Masters
 %
-"But what we need to know is, do people want nasally-insertable
-computers?"
+But what we need to know is, do people want nasally-insertable
+computers?
 %
 Buzz off, Banana Nose; Relieve mine eyes
 Of hateful soreness, purge mine ears of corn;
@@ -2685,7 +2683,7 @@ Cleanliness is next to impossible.
 %
 Cleveland still lives.  God ____must be dead.
 %
-"Cleveland?  Yes, I spent a week there one day."
+Cleveland?  Yes, I spent a week there one day.
 %
 Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery.
 %
@@ -2701,7 +2699,7 @@ Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum --
 "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am."
 		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
 %
-"Cogito ergo I'm right and you're wrong."
+Cogito ergo I'm right and you're wrong.
 		-- Blair Houghton
 %
 Coincidence, n.: 
@@ -2868,7 +2866,7 @@ Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.
 Conscious is when you are aware of something and conscience is when you
 wish you weren't.
 %
-"Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich."
+Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich.
 		-- "Ali Baba Bunny" [1957, Chuck Jones]
 %
 Consultants are mystical people who ask a company for a number and then
@@ -2878,8 +2876,8 @@ give it back to them.
 if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't.  That's logic!"
 		-- Lewis Carroll, "Through the Looking Glass"
 %
-"Contrary to popular belief, penguins are not the salvation of modern
-technology.  Neither do they throw parties for the urban proletariat."
+Contrary to popular belief, penguins are not the salvation of modern
+technology.  Neither do they throw parties for the urban proletariat.
 %
 Conversation, n.:
 	A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath
@@ -3098,7 +3096,7 @@ Deliberation, n.:
 buttered on.
 		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
 %
-"Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow."
+Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
 %
 Demand the establishment of the government
 in its rightful home at Disneyland.
@@ -3210,8 +3208,8 @@ Die, v.:
 	To stop sinning suddenly.
 		-- Elbert Hubbard
 %
-"Die?  I should say not, dear fellow.  No Barrymore would allow such a
-conventional thing to happen to him."
+Die?  I should say not, dear fellow.  No Barrymore would allow such a
+conventional thing to happen to him.
 		-- John Barrymore's dying words
 %
 Different all twisty a of in maze are you, passages little.
@@ -3260,8 +3258,8 @@ Do not drink coffee in early a.m.  It will keep you awake until noon.
 Do not meddle in the affairs of troff, for it is subtle and quick to
 anger.
 %
-"Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for you are crunchy and good
-with ketchup."
+Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for you are crunchy and good
+with ketchup.
 %
 Do not read this fortune under penalty of law.
 Violators will be prosecuted.
@@ -3331,7 +3329,7 @@ Don't get suckered in by the comments -- they can be terribly
 misleading.  Debug only code.
 		-- Dave Storer
 %
-"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living.  The world owes
+Don't go around saying the world owes you a living.  The world owes
 you nothing.  It was here first.
 		-- Mark Twain
 %
@@ -3371,8 +3369,8 @@ Don't take life too seriously -- you'll never get out of it alive.
 %
 Don't tell any big lies today.  Small ones can be just as effective.
 %
-"Don't tell me I'm burning the candle at both ends -- tell me where to
-get more wax!!"
+Don't tell me I'm burning the candle at both ends -- tell me where to
+get more wax!!
 %
 Don't worry about avoiding temptation -- as you grow older, it starts
 avoiding you.
@@ -3503,9 +3501,9 @@ the plastic underneath -- black.  According to the instructions, this
 means the puzzle is solved.
 		-- Steve Rubenstein
 %
- Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow they may make it illegal.
+Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow they may make it illegal.
 %
-"Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you may work."
+Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you may work.
 %
 Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.
 		-- John Kenneth Galbraith
@@ -3714,7 +3712,7 @@ Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
 Every little picofarad has a nanohenry all its own.
 		-- Don Vonada
 %
-"Every man has his price.  Mine is $3.95."
+Every man has his price.  Mine is $3.95.
 %
 Every man is as God made him, ay, and often worse.
 		-- Miguel de Cervantes
@@ -3741,7 +3739,7 @@ Every solution breeds new problems.
 Every successful person has had failures but repeated failure is no
 guarantee of eventual success.
 %
-"Every time I think I know where it's at, they move it."
+Every time I think I know where it's at, they move it.
 %
 Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.
 		-- Beckett
@@ -4065,7 +4063,7 @@ First Rule of History:
 	History doesn't repeat itself -- historians merely repeat each
 other.
 %
-"First things first -- but not necessarily in that order"
+First things first -- but not necessarily in that order
 		-- The Doctor, "Doctor Who"
 %
 First, a few words about tools.
@@ -4532,7 +4530,7 @@ extracurricular activity except you."
 
 			-- Firesign Theater
 %
-"Gee, Toto, I don't think we are in Kansas anymore."
+Gee, Toto, I don't think we are in Kansas anymore.
 %
 GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
 	You are a quick and intelligent thinker.  People like you
@@ -4670,7 +4668,7 @@ Freeman's Commentary on Ginsberg's theorem:
 Give me a Plumber's friend the size of the Pittsburgh dome, and a place
 to stand, and I will drain the world.
 %
-"Give me enough medals, and I'll win any war."
+Give me enough medals, and I'll win any war.
 		-- Napoleon
 %
 Give me the Luxuries, and the Hell with the Necessities!
@@ -4836,8 +4834,8 @@ Gordon's first law:
 	If a research project is not worth doing, it is not worth doing
 well.
 %
-"Gosh that takes me back... or is it forward?  That's the trouble with
-time travel, you never can tell."
+Gosh that takes me back... or is it forward?  That's the trouble with
+time travel, you never can tell.
 		-- Doctor Who "Androids of Tara"
 %
 Got Mole problems?
@@ -5168,7 +5166,7 @@ attacks democracy itself.
 %
 He who Laughs, Lasts.
 %
-"He's just a politician trying to save both his faces ..."
+He's just a politician trying to save both his faces ...
 %
 He's the kind of guy, that, well, if you were ever in a jam he'd be
 there ... with two slices of bread and some chunky peanut butter.
@@ -5198,7 +5196,7 @@ expound your own.
 Heavy, adj.:
 	Seduced by the chocolate side of the force.
 %
-"Heisenberg may have slept here"
+Heisenberg may have slept here.
 %
 Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
 		-- Milton Friedman
@@ -5236,8 +5234,8 @@ Who'd give their lords to save their hair,
 No stellar recognition's given.
 There are not stars enough in heaven.
 %
-"Here at the Phone Company, we serve all kinds of people; from
-Presidents and Kings to the scum of the earth ..."
+Here at the Phone Company, we serve all kinds of people; from
+Presidents and Kings to the scum of the earth ...
 %
 Here I sit, broken-hearted,
 All logged in, but work unstarted.
@@ -5304,14 +5302,14 @@ bite a wax tadpole.  Coke -- it's the real wax-fattened mare. Not bad,
 but broad satiric vistas do not open up.
 		-- John Carroll, San Francisco Chronicle
 %
-"Here's something to think about:  How come you never see a headline like
-`Psychic Wins Lottery'?"
+Here's something to think about:  How come you never see a headline like
+`Psychic Wins Lottery'?
 		-- Jay Leno
 %
 Heuristics are bug ridden by definition.  If they didn't have bugs,
 then they'd be algorithms.
 %
-"Hey!  Who took the cork off my lunch??!"
+Hey!  Who took the cork off my lunch??!
 		-- W. C. Fields
 %
 Hi there!  This is just a note from me, to you, to tell you, the person
@@ -5362,8 +5360,8 @@ of surprises.
 %
 Hire the morally handicapped.
 %
-"His great aim was to escape from civilization, and, as soon as he had
-money, he went to Southern California."
+His great aim was to escape from civilization, and, as soon as he had
+money, he went to Southern California.
 %
 His mind is like a steel trap -- full of mice.
 		-- Foghorn Leghorn
@@ -5443,7 +5441,7 @@ people.
 %
 Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants in Marshalltown, Iowa.
 %
-"Houston, Tranquillity Base here.  The Eagle has landed."
+Houston, Tranquillity Base here.  The Eagle has landed.
 		-- Neil Armstrong
 %
 How can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all?
@@ -5599,11 +5597,11 @@ other minority viewpoint -- no matter how distasteful to the majority.
 What are our schools for if not indoctrination against Communism?
 		-- Richard M. Nixon
 %
-"I am convinced that the manufacturers of carpet odor removing powder
+I am convinced that the manufacturers of carpet odor removing powder
 have included encapsulated time released cat urine in their products.
 This technology must be what prevented its distribution during my mom's
 reign.  My carpet smells like piss, and I don't have a cat.  Better go
-buy some more."
+buy some more.
 		-- timw@zeb.USWest.COM
 %
 I am more bored than you could ever possibly be.  Go back to work.
@@ -7721,7 +7719,7 @@ It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, and I'm wearing Milkbone underwear.
 %
 It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.
 %
-"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it."
+It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
 		-- Steven Wright
 %
 "It's a summons."
@@ -9361,11 +9359,11 @@ No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.
 %
 No problem is so large it can't be fit in somewhere.
 %
-"No proper program contains an indication which as an operator-applied
+No proper program contains an indication which as an operator-applied
 occurrence identifies an operator-defining occurrence which as an
 indication-applied occurrence identifies an indication-defining
 occurrence different from the one identified by the given indication as
-an indication-applied occurrence."
+an indication-applied occurrence.
 		-- ALGOL 68 Report
 %
 No self-respecting fish would want to be wrapped in that kind of paper.
@@ -10053,8 +10051,8 @@ Beware the runtime-bug my friend
 Beware the infiniteloop
 	And shun the inprectoo.
 %
-"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend: and inside a dog,
-it's too dark to read."
+Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend: and inside a dog,
+it's too dark to read.
 		-- Groucho Marx
 %
 Over the years, I've developed my sense of deja vu so acutely that now
@@ -12789,7 +12787,7 @@ The marvels of today's modern technology include the development of a
 soda can, when discarded will last forever ... and a $7,000 car which
 when properly cared for will rust out in two or three years.
 %
-"... the Mayo Clinic, named after its founder, Dr. Ted Clinic ..."
+... the Mayo Clinic, named after its founder, Dr. Ted Clinic ...
 		-- Dave Barry
 %
 The meek shall inherit the earth -- they are too weak to refuse.
@@ -12952,7 +12950,7 @@ The only possible interpretation of any research whatever in the
 The only problem with being a man of leisure is that you can never stop
 and take a rest.
 %
-"The only real way to look younger is not to be born so soon."
+The only real way to look younger is not to be born so soon.
 		-- Charles Schulz, "Things I've Had to Learn Over and
 		   Over and Over"
 %
@@ -13324,8 +13322,8 @@ is an emerging underachiever.
 The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant
 biology.
 %
-"The subspace _W inherits the other 8 properties of _V. And there aren't
-even any property taxes."
+The subspace _W inherits the other 8 properties of _V. And there aren't
+even any property taxes.
 		-- J. MacKay, Mathematics 134b
 %
 The sum of the Universe is zero.
@@ -14221,10 +14219,10 @@ To do is to be.
 Yabba-Dabba-Doo!
 		-- F. Flintstone
 %
-"To be responsive at this time, though I will simply say, and therefore
+To be responsive at this time, though I will simply say, and therefore
 this is a repeat of what I said previously, that which I am unable to
 offer in response is based on information available to make no such
-statement."
+statement.
 %
 To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and, whatever you hit,
 call it the target.
@@ -15411,8 +15409,8 @@ Whistler's Law:
 	You never know who is right, but you always know who is in
 charge.
 %
-"Who cares if it doesn't do anything?  It was made with our new
-Triple-Iso-Bifurcated-Krypton-Gate-MOS process ..."
+Who cares if it doesn't do anything?  It was made with our new
+Triple-Iso-Bifurcated-Krypton-Gate-MOS process ...
 %
 Who made the world I cannot tell;
 'Tis made, and here am I in hell.
@@ -15426,7 +15424,7 @@ Who needs friends when you can sit alone in your room and drink?
 %
 Who's on first?
 %
-"Whom are you?" said he, for he had been to night school.
+Whom are you?" said he, for he had been to night school.
 		-- George Ade
 %
 Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive mad.
@@ -16125,7 +16123,7 @@ taxi, you can leave in a huff.  If that's too soon, you can leave in a
 minute and a huff.
 		-- Groucho Marx
 %
-"You'll never be the man your mother was!"
+You'll never be the man your mother was!
 %
 You're at the end of the road again.
 %